


A Different Life

by ace_writergirl



Series: Life [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, brittana
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:14:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 115,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23692204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ace_writergirl/pseuds/ace_writergirl
Summary: Canon!Divergent Brittana. Santana and Brittany move to New York after high school. Everything is going perfectly until Brittany gets a phone call that changes everything. Seven years later, Santana has a daughter and she and Britt haven't seen each other...Canon until 3x16ish. No Louisville, no second senior year.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Rachel Berry/Finn Hudson, Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce
Series: Life [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1706275
Comments: 95
Kudos: 125





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Italics serve as flashbacks :)

Santana Lopez clutched her stomach as another sharp pain rocketed through her body.

"Oh, that looked like a big one," Kurt Hummel commented.

"No shit, Sherlock," Santana retorted through gritted teeth. She moaned loudly in pain. "God, why does this hurt so fucking much?"

"Well, women's bodies are designed-"

"Shut _up_ , Rachel!" Santana and Kurt both yelled, immediately silencing her.

"Shouldn't we do something?" Finn asked, resting his hands on Rachel's shoulders reassuringly.

"Finnocence, I'm pretty sure that I've been _doing_ something for the last nine months."

"Oh, no, I know, I meant-"

"I know what you meant, Finn," Santana breathed out as another contraction hit. "Goddamn, this hurts like a bitch."

"Santana, is there anyone you'd like me to call?" Kurt asked hesitantly.

Santana's eyes flashed immediately. "Kurt, do _not_ mention that again, do you understand me? I've done fine for the last year without _any_ help and I'm not about to start begging now. Got it?"

Kurt nodded quickly. Santana was, at best, a bitch 24/7. On the cusp of delivering a baby, her anger had been pushed several levels higher. Luckily, Kurt, Rachel and Finn had known Santana at her best and worst and were well prepared for the hormonal changes that pregnancy brought.

"Rachel, we should go and see what's taking that doctor so long," Kurt said firmly to Rachel. She caught his meaning and nodded.

"Yes, Finn, honey, stay here with Santana and keep her company while we locate the doctor," Rachel agreed, quickly following Kurt out of the room.

"Don't you dare do something that'll make me go all Snixx on you! Hobbit! Porcelain! Get your sneaky asses back in this room!"

"Is it safe to leave Finn in there with her?" Rachel asked worriedly.

"Please, Santana is all talk. As crazy as she is now, she's just like a PMS'd up Santana Lopez from high school. Nothing we can't handle. Besides, she won't do anything to us. We're her family."

A flicker of sadness crossed Rachel's features and Kurt mirrored the expression.

"Shouldn't we-"

"Rachel, _no_ ," Kurt hissed, folding his arms across his chest. "Santana really would kill us if we called her."

"But what about her parents?" Rachel pressed.

Kurt shook his head. "You weren't with her when she spoke to them. They were brutal, completely unwavering in their decision to cut her off. Well, Santana's father was, anyway. I don't even think her mother got a word in edgeways."

"Maybe that's who we should approach, then?" Rachel persisted.

Kurt sighed. She really didn't know how to quit. "Rachel, right now we have to focus on what's best for Santana. She's been through hell this year and we're all she has left. What kind of friends would we be if we went behind her back when she needed us most and tried to involve the people that caused the hurt in the first place?"

Rachel looked up thoughtfully and Kurt rolled his eyes. If she seriously had to consider his logic, then fame had clearly boggled her brain more than he'd thought.

* * *

_Santana chased Brittany around their living room._

" _Britt, come on, give it back!" Santana whined, but she couldn't wipe the big grin off her face._

" _Come and get it from me, slow poke," Brittany teased, waving her phone tantalisingly in the air._

_Santana smirked and began a predatory stalk towards her girlfriend. She loved the silly little moments, moments that no one but Brittany got to see. When she was with Brittany, Santana became a softer, happier person. As they were living together, Brittany's playful nature was rubbing off on Santana and they would often end up playing some silly fun game, but both of them loved it._

_Santana was within a stretch of Brittany, but paused, holding her gaze evenly. Brittany just smiled slyly and arched an eyebrow. Santana's smile widened. How in the hell could people have ever thought that she was stupid? She had such an amazing mind and, lucky for Santana, she'd been able to decipher Brittany's thought processes a lot quicker than anyone else. Granted, being best friends since they were six did help in that department._

" _So, what happens when I go to class and you go to work and you still have my phone?" Santana asked._

_Brittany shrugged. "Why would you need your phone in class anyway?"_

" _Well, I wouldn't be able to sext you, for one," Santana said, her voice dropping seductively. "I wouldn't be able to tell you how gorgeous you looked this morning waking up all tangled in the sheets. I wouldn't be able to tell you how wet I get when I think about you dancing and getting all hot and sweaty."_

_Brittany swallowed visibly, her grip on Santana's phone faltering slightly and Santana smirked to herself. Brittany had the moves, but she had the words._

" _And I wouldn't be able to tell you what I plan on doing when I come home, seeing as how you're only going to be home later this evening." Santana sighed dramatically. "Two hours all by myself and_ so _incredibly turned on." She dropped her hand and let it trail up her_ _own side_ , _raising the thin shirt she was wearing._

_Brittany squeaked at the appearance of her hard stomach covered by silky smooth skin. It was one of Brittany's favourite parts of Santana's body. Often, she would just lie on her stomach, running her fingers along all the contours._

" _But I guess if you have my phone, I won't be able to tell you what I'm doing," Santana continued, pretending to be oblivious to Brittany's aroused state. "So, I guess I'll have to keep myself entertained."_

" _No."_

" _What was that, B?" Santana asked sweetly in response to Brittany's growl._

" _You will wait for me," Brittany said menacingly, stepping towards Santana. "You will not do anything to yourself. That's_ my _job."_

" _But, Britt, if you're not here-"_

_Santana's argument was cut off by Brittany's lips crashing into hers. She gladly moulded their mouths together and let Brittany show her who was in control. Tongues duelled and tangoed. Teeth grazed over lips and nipped at skin._

" _Fuck," Santana gasped into Brittany's neck, one hand gripping her waist and the other buried in her gorgeous golden locks._

" _What, now?" Brittany teased in a low voice, her breath ghosting over Santana's cheek._

" _I have to leave in half an hour," Santana said, glancing at the clock on the kitchen wall._

_Brittany grinned and gripped Santana's waist with both hands, encouraging her to wrap her legs around her._

" _Plenty of time to give you something to tide you over till later," she whispered, leaning in to kiss Santana as she carried her to the bedroom._

_Santana smiled into the kiss. She was in absolute heaven. It was perfection; living in New York with her amazing girlfriend. Nothing could ruin it._


	2. Chapter 2

Santana gasped for air and screamed for all she was worth.

"Great job, Mama," the doctor said through her mask. "You did great."

Santana flopped back onto the pillow, feeling utterly drained and sweaty. She mustered up the energy to look at the doctor rolling away from the tent covering the bottom half of her body on a wheelie chair.

The frown that had formed worriedly on Santana's forehead immediately vanished as the first sound of a cry was heard. She breathed a sigh of relief. She'd done it. She'd delivered a baby. Santana motherfucking Lopez was a mother at nineteen.

"Is she okay?" Santana asked urgently.

Dr. Sam Marlowe didn't say anything as she did a routine check. "She looks to be perfect. Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl, Santana."

Santana felt tears prick her eyes as Dr. Marlowe brought the wrapped-up bundle towards her. She pushed herself up with great difficulty – she had just pushed a watermelon through a pea-sized hole, after all – and held out her arms in anticipation.

Dr. Marlowe gently placed Santana's daughter in her arms and stepped back, allowing that special first moment between mother and child.

"Hey, baby girl," Santana whispered, smoothing her thumb gently over her baby's forehead, which was pulled tight and punctuated with a high-pitched wail. "You are so perfect. I'm going to make sure that you never get hurt and that you are always loved. I will love you forever."

The doctor smiled. Santana’s had been a rather unusual pregnancy for her, but there was always an exception to the rule and Santana definitely enjoyed being exceptional.

There was a knock on the door and a curious face poked in.

"We heard the crying. Can we see them?" Kurt asked.

Dr. Marlowe looked at Santana, who nodded absent-mindedly, her eyes devouring every inch of her daughter, who had ceased her wailing in favour of squeaky, shaky breaths. She opened the door for Kurt, Rachel and Finn. Normally, friends would have to wait until the baby had been cleaned and the mother had been properly looked after, but Dr. Marlowe knew that this was Santana's family and she wasn't about to withstand her wrath, especially after having just given birth.

"Hey, Santana," Rachel said softly, standing next to her friend. "How are you?"

Santana looked at her three friends with tears slowly tracking down her face. "She's…perfect. She's amazing. How did I do this?"

"Because _you're_ amazing," Kurt said firmly, placing his hand comfortingly on Santana's arm. "She's an example of the person you are. She's you, Santana."

The new mother looked down at her baby again and choked back a sob. "But…w-w-w-what if-f-f-f-f-f I mess it up? I haven't had any kind of lasting relationship." Her eyes grew wide. "Ohmigod, I'm gonna totally mess her up! She's gonna become a total fuck up like me and make everyone unhappy and-"

"Santana, you're being ridiculous," Finn said, cutting her off and surprising everyone with the strength of his voice. "I've told you this before. You're awesome and now the whole world gets another piece of that awesome you have inside. I have no doubt in my mind that that little girl is going to have the most loving and doting mother any kid could ever want."

Santana's tears overflowed and streamed down her cheeks. Dr. Marlowe took that as her cue.

"Hey, guys, we need to get mom and baby cleaned up and moved so if you wouldn't mind giving us some time?"

"Oh, of course," Rachel said, ushering the two boys out. "Santana, we're going to be right here, okay? We're not going anywhere."

Santana nodded and sniffed loudly. The door closed and she shook her head. "God, I am such a mess. My baby's a few minutes old and already I'm breaking down."

Dr. Marlowe smiled. "Can I tell you a secret?"

Santana nodded and smiled.

The doctor leaned down and Santana met her expectantly. "If you didn't burst into tears and start doubting yourself, I'd worry." She pulled back and chuckled. "Seriously, Santana, don't worry about it. It's completely normal."

Santana just smiled and wiped her tears away hurriedly, running her fingertips lightly over her daughter's face again. Even covered in Santana's inner crap, she still was the most beautiful baby in the world.

So what if Santana was a little biased. Every mom was.

"Have you thought of a name?" Dr. Marlowe asked.

Santana smiled. "Isabella. Isabella Lopez."

* * *

_Brittany's life revolved around two things: Santana Lopez and dancing. Both of them had been a part of her life for pretty much the same amount of time and she couldn't have one without the other – she'd always feel incomplete. Which was why the decision was so hard for her to make. It was the opportunity of a lifetime, but could she do it without Santana?_

_Brittany was sitting in the main studio that she taught in. It was long after everyone had gone home and Brittany had stayed late to try and think things through without Santana as a distraction. Because that's exactly what Santana would be – Brittany knew that she wouldn't be able to think about the problem if she went home all sweaty from dance and see Santana humming in the kitchen as she made them dinner. She'd walk into the kitchen and slip her arms around her tiny waist-_

_Wait! Damn it. See? Distraction._

_Brittany sighed. She should try and think about what Santana would say. She'd totally tell her to go for it right? That's why they'd decided to tough it out in New York – there were more opportunities for both of them in their respective fields. And this was a_ golden _opportunity. Brittany had to take it. She had to. Santana would agree._

_Brittany smiled in relief, having finally come to a decision. She picked up her phone and scrolled for a number._

" _Hi, Rick? It's Brittany S. Pierce. Yeah, I know. Well, as it turns out, it took me less time than I thought to make my decision. So, when do we leave on tour?"_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW. You have been warned ;)

Three days of laying in a hospital bed had left Santana itching to go back to the apartment that she shared with Kurt, Rachel and Finn. She hated being waited on and treated like a precious vase about to break at the slightest movement.

Eventually, the nursing staff had left her alone unless she'd called them specifically – and even then, Dr. Marlowe had been the one to go in and see her.

Dr. Marlowe had kept Santana in the hospital for an extra two days because her body was still in recovery mode after giving birth. Isabella was perfect, but her mom was too weak to leave. Santana was not happy.

"You ready to go, Mama?" Kurt asked, grabbing Santana's bag.

"You have no idea," Santana replied, rolling her eyes. "Pretty sure there would've been a pile up of bodies had I been forced to stay a day longer."

"Santana, you need to be at your optimal health for Isabella's sake," Rachel reasoned. "If you're not at your best, you can't give your daughter your best."

Santana froze and looked down at the sleeping bundle in her arms.

"Shit," she breathed, "you're right, Rach." Tears pooled in her eyes. "Oh my God. I can't do this!"

Finn stepped in front of Santana and gripped her shoulders. "No one can do this _but_ you, Santana. I know that you have a heart somewhere underneath all that sarcasm. I saw it when you were with-" he stopped himself and cleared his throat quickly. "I've seen you be a happy, soft person before and I know that your daughter is going to bring that out in you again. And if things do get a little crazy, your family is going to be right there with you. Every step of the way."

Finn stepped back, but Santana gripped his forearm with her free hand and looked up at him gratefully. "Thank you." She looked at Kurt and Rachel and smiled. "Thank you, guys. I really don't know what I would've done without you this year. And I know that no matter what, you guys will have my back. And Bella's too." She looked tenderly at her sleeping daughter. Her head snapped back up to her three friends. "Of course, if anyone tries to fuck with you guys, I will go all Lima Heights on their asses, mama status be damned."

Kurt put an arm around Santana and squeezed gently as he chuckled. "I don't think we could ever find someone as sweet as you pretend not to be."

"Pffft," Santana scoffed, but secretly grinned.

"Come on!" Rachel said eagerly. "I want to show you how I've done up your room!"

Santana groaned good-naturedly and rolled her eyes, but gladly let her friends pull her out of the hospital room and back into the real world.

* * *

Santana collapsed onto her bed. She was exhausted. She'd been home a week with Bella and she'd be lying if she said she got more than three hours of sleep a night. Kurt and Rachel had told her all these fairy tale stories about babies sleeping nine hours through the night. Not Bella. Oh no. Her little Lopez wanted attention every few hours, even if it was just her mom looking at her. Eventually, Santana had created a crib of pillows and towels in her bed so that Bella could always feel her.

Despite all the hard work, Santana loved being a mom. Nothing in the world would ever come close to seeing her baby girl's dark eyes locking onto hers and never letting go. Santana felt like her daughter could see into her soul. She knew that it was too early to tell what colour Bella's eyes were going to be, but Santana was certain that her daughter would retain her dark eyes.

She sighed and allowed herself to wonder briefly about Bella's father and whether she'd get some of his genes - not that she remembered anyway.

"Stop it," she scolded herself immediately. Bella's father was non-existent. She was Bella's parent. She would be a mother and father, doctor, psychologist, everything that her little girl needed.

Santana sighed and rested her head on her pillow, shaking herself of the fleeting thought. She pushed her body up and rested her face on the pillow that separated her from Bella. She smiled and just stared at the perfect little human being fast asleep next to her. Looking at her so peaceful and beautiful, Santana immediately forgave her daughter for waking her up every two hours with her piercing wails. As soon as Santana appeared in her vision, Bella settled and she just stared up at her mother. As sleep deprived as Santana was, the love she felt for Bella completely overwhelmed any other emotion.

"Sleep well, baby girl," Santana murmured, softly fingering the dark locks only just appearing on Bella's head. "No matter what happens in this world, I will never let anything happen to you. No one will be able to hurt you. No one will walk out on you."

Santana blinked and was surprised to find two tears running down her cheeks. Her chest suddenly started aching and she quelled the rising urge to scream in frustration. She couldn't do it. She _wouldn't_. That part of her life was over. She didn't want to see her again or even _think_ of her again.

 _Brittany_.

Santana closed her eyes and buried her face in her own pillow, letting the tears finally flow after nine long months.

* * *

_Santana hummed a random tune as she put the final touches on the mac and cheese she was making. It was Brittany's favourite and she had been training so hard lately because of a competition coming up. Santana wanted to give Brittany a nice, relaxing evening._

_She heard the front door open and a familiar bounding came closer as Brittany arrived in the kitchen with a big smile on her face._

" _Hi, baby!" she said enthusiastically, grabbing Santana in a fiercely tight embrace._

" _Hey," Santana chuckled, hugging her back. "You have a good session tonight, babe?"_

_Brittany nodded and smiled, leaning in for a kiss. Santana reciprocated happily, lightly letting her tongue run over Brittany's bottom lip before pulling away to put the mac and cheese in the oven._

" _Mean," Brittany muttered behind her._

_Santana laughed and turned to wink at her._

" _Feeling energetic, baby?" she asked, stepping back into Brittany's arms and nuzzling her neck._

" _Very," Brittany said seriously. "How long will dinner be?"_

" _Hmmmm," Santana mused as she placed feather-light kisses along Brittany's neck. "About forty minutes? I have it on low."_

" _So…come and keep me company while I shower?" Brittany asked innocently. Santana looked up and saw nothing innocent in her gaze._

_She smirked. "Need some help getting clean, baby?"_

_Brittany leaned to capture Santana's lips softly. "I always get properly cleaned when you're with me," she murmured in a low voice._

" _Oooh," Santana mumbled, feeling a rush of heat run down her body and settle between her legs. "That was so sexy."_

_Brittany chuckled and pulled Santana to the bathroom. They slowly undressed each other, stealing kisses every now and then. Brittany reached into the shower and turned the water on. Santana took the opportunity and pressed her body up against Brittany’s tightly, leaving no room between them. Brittany gasped at the contact and moaned as Santana traced her tongue from her ear to her clavicle._

" _Ready to get clean?" Santana murmured._

" _Hmm…hmmmmm," Brittany mumbled, running her hands up and down Santana's back, sending her into a frenzy of goose bumps._

_There wasn't a feeling quite like Brittany and Santana pressed up against each other, skin on skin from head to toe. Both girls would swear that nothing could compare to the intimacy they experienced being so close together._

_Brittany pulled away slightly and climbed into the shower, holding onto Santana's hand and pulling her gently in after her. The steam of the rapidly heating water quickly stuck to their bodies as their lips met over and over again, massaging, nipping, tracing._

_Santana gasped as Brittany turned her and pressed her against the shower wall, rubbing their bodies together. The steam had made their skin slippery and the feeling of Brittany's body moving up and down hers almost made her come. It was why dancing with Brittany was always very difficult for her; Santana just couldn't control her reaction to Brittany’s sexy dancing skills._

" _God, Britt," Santana moaned loudly as Brittany's hands started massaging her breasts. She tweaked her nipples into stiff peaks and Santana moaned again. They'd been having sex for over four years and her body still reacted to Brittany's touch like it was the first time._

_Santana rested her arms on Brittany's shoulders and kissed her furiously. Brittany's flexible tongue explored her mouth like she'd never tasted her before and the intensity elicited another moan from Santana. Just as well they lived alone._

" _I want you so bad," Brittany husked against Santana's lips._

" _Take me, B," Santana replied with a smile. "I'm all yours."_

_Brittany smiled her big sunshine smile and kissed Santana again, trailing her lips to Santana’s neck and down to her breasts. She lovingly caressed each peak with her tongue before Santana's moans became desperate and she was being pushed further down. Brittany knelt down and smiled as she trailed her tongue over Santana's stomach._

" _Baby," Santana whined, her fingers tangling in Brittany's now wet hair._

" _God, I can smell you, San," Brittany murmured, licking the moisture off Santana's stomach, causing her to shiver uncontrollably. "You smell so good."_

_Brittany gripped one of Santana's firm thighs and placed it over her shoulder, the full force of Santana's arousal hitting her. Her mouth watered and she couldn't hold back any longer. She licked up Santana's slit slowly, taking a generous amount of wetness onto her tongue and swallowing, savouring the taste of her._

" _So good," she murmured, licking up again._

" _Fuck," Santana moaned, loosening one hand in Brittany's hair to steady herself against the shower wall. "Baby, that feels so good."_

_Brittany smiled to herself and alternated between long, slow licks and little flicks over Santana's pulsing clit. Santana’s moans were getting louder and Brittany knew that she was building her up really good. She took a deep breath and dove inside with her tongue._

" _Holy Jesus mother fuck," Santana cried out, her thighs clenching around Brittany's face. The moan that echoed around the bathroom was downright filthy. And Brittany fucking_ lived _for it. "Right there, baby."_

_Brittany obliged and pushed in and out until she felt Santana's walls close in around her tongue. She glanced up at her. Santana’s eyes were closed and her jaw was set hard as her body arched off the shower wall and started to shudder. There wasn't anything quite like watching Santana come undone at the mercy of Brittany's tongue. She transformed. Of course, she was completely beautiful all the time, but she become almost angelic. A look of complete bliss would cross her face as she came down from her orgasm and Santana didn't even have to look at her for Brittany to feel the love radiating from her._

" _Oh. My. God," Santana breathed, removing her hand from the wall and running it through her wet hair. "B, that was unbelievable."_

_Brittany placed a soft kiss against Santana's clit, causing a reactive moan, and slowly trailed her tongue back up Santana's body until their lips met again. Santana loved tasting herself on Brittany and Brittany gladly gave her tongue to her. Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany's neck and pulled her close, sucking hard on her tongue, causing Brittany to chuckle and pull her close._

_They broke apart slightly and rested their foreheads together._

" _Your turn, baby," Santana murmured, trailing her hand down Brittany's stomach._

" _I want you inside me hard and fast," Brittany murmured. "I'm so wet for you right now it almost hurts."_

" _Anything for you, my love," Santana replied, smirking at how turned on Brittany got by fucking her._

 _She ran two fingers over Brittany's slit, coating them in wetness, of which there was a_ lot _and immediately entered her, starting a slow rhythm to build her up._

" _Fuck," Brittany moaned, her nails running down Santana's back. Santana knew she'd have some sexy red marks the next day, but she loved it when Brittany marked her. "Harder," she grunted._

_Santana shifted the angle of her hand and pumped in deeper and longer. She added another finger and Brittany's teeth sank into her shoulder._

" _Yes, yes," she panted. "Fuck, baby!"_

" _You like me inside you, don't you?" Santana murmured against Brittany's ear breathily._

" _Only you," Brittany moaned. "No one else. Only you." She cried out as Santana curled her fingers inside her and her legs started trembling, a sure sign that she was close._

_Santana tightened her grip around Brittany's waist. Brittany became like dead weight immediately after her orgasm and Santana wasn’t about to let her drop. She sped her fingers up and slowed them down, repeating the process until Brittany was whimpering in her ear. She flicked her thumb over Brittany's clit once, twice and on the third flick, she cried out Santana's name and arched against her, her body shaking as the orgasm flowed through her. Santana brought her down slowly, holding on to her tightly before removing her fingers and licking them clean. She closed her eyes and savoured the taste. Brittany was by far her favourite flavour in the world._

" _Best," Brittany sighed, leaning into Santana and kissing her lazily._

" _Even better than when we snuck into Coach Sylvester's office after graduation?" Santana teased, smiling as she remembered the best orgasm of her life. In fact, the best_ multiple _orgasm of her life. Three times in two minutes. Brittany had yet to break her own record. Not for lack of trying, though. Santana had to admit that she appreciated her efforts. Oh man, did she appreciate them._

" _Hmmmm, maybe second best," Brittany murmured, slowly regaining feeling in her legs. "I love you, San."_

" _And I love you, B," Santana replied, kissing her gently. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up."_

_Brittany giggled. "And you. I got you good."_

" _That you did, baby," Santana agreed, turning them both into the warm stream of water. "That you did."_

_They washed each other gently and lovingly, stealing kisses until the water got cold. Santana opened the shower door and grabbed a towel for Brittany to step into. She rubbed the towel roughly against Brittany’s body, causing her to chuckle._

" _Gotta keep you warm," Santana said seriously, pulling the second towel around herself._

" _But I've got you for that, silly," Brittany giggled._

" _Hmmm, good point," Santana grinned._

_There was silence for a moment until Brittany spoke, "San? I need to tell you something."_


	4. Chapter 4

Santana opened her bedroom door and walked out, stretching and yawning.

"Morning!" Kurt sang from the kitchen.

"Mmmm," Santana mumbled, grabbing the coffee pot and a mug.

"Still having trouble sleeping?" Kurt asked with concern. "You know that we're all happy to take over the two am Bella wake up calls, Santana. You need to sleep too."

"S'fine," Santana mumbled, yawning again. "She slept through last night. I'm just not used to getting a full night's sleep so I still woke up every two hours."

"Aw, I'm sorry," Kurt said sympathetically. "Is there anything we can do to help?"

Santana took a sip of her black coffee before answering, "I was going to take her out anyway. She should stay awake long enough to experience the day."

"Okay, great," Kurt said, silently breathing a sigh of relief. He dared not mention to Santana that he'd heard her crying herself to sleep on more than one occasion. He wasn't stupid – the anniversary of _her_ leaving was coming up soon and he was pretty sure that Santana was still mourning the loss. Granted, if it were up to him, Brittany would never come within fifty feet of Santana ever again, not after what she did.

Kurt downed his orange juice. "How about you and Bella walk me to work?" he suggested. "It's not too cold for her to be out and you'd get an early start to your day."

"Sure," Santana agreed after a thought. "Give me fifteen to get us ready?"

Kurt nodded and watched Santana walk back into her bedroom. He sighed. Santana and Brittany were like one entity. Although they weren't together, he had no doubt that one would somehow find the other again. And he was scared shitless of the effect that would have not only on Santana, but on little Bella too.

"Deep in thought so early," Rachel commented as she came out of the room she shared with Finn.

"Hmmm," Kurt mused in agreement, his thoughts still on the potential reappearance off one careless dancer.

"You okay, Kurt?" Rachel asked, narrowing her eyes in concern.

"I suppose," Kurt sighed. "You know what next Thursday is, right?"

Rachel's head dropped. "Yes. Unfortunately, that's a hard one to forget."

"She's been crying," Kurt said in a low voice, not wanting Santana to overhear him through the open door.

"I know," Rachel replied, sighing. "I heard her the other night when I got up to make Finn some warm milk."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Rach, this could be either a really good week or a really bad week. She only goes back to work at the end of the month so we need to keep her busy. I've already got her walking me to work with Bella, but she can't be home all day every day. She needs to get back out into the world."

Rachel nodded. "But Santana has to want to help herself to heal. She won't be able to if she keeps fighting it."

"I think she wants to," Kurt said softly, his heart aching for his friend. "She kept so much pain inside her in high school. I think that she trusts us enough to help her deal with it, when the time comes. And I think that time is coming."

Rachel smiled and put a hand on Kurt's shoulder. "I'm glad you're here for her, Kurt. Lord knows it took a long time for me and Santana to become close, but you two have a special bond and if it hadn't been for you, I'm pretty sure things would've been much worse."

Kurt placed a hand over Rachel's and squeezed.

"What, are we on Dr. Phil?" Santana commented sardonically as she walked out of her bedroom, cradling a sleeping Bella. She shot a crooked grin Kurt's way and he smiled back. Maybe Santana would be okay.

"Ready?" he asked, slipping off the chair and grabbing his oversized man-bag.

Santana gently placed Bella in the stroller that Finn and Rachel had bought her with much protestation. Bella didn't stir as Santana tucked the soft baby blanket (courtesy of Kurt, naturally) around her daughter.

"Ready for our first outing," Santana said proudly.

"Come on, Mama," Kurt said affectionately, throwing his arm around Santana's shoulder and squeezing. "Time to get you outside these four walls."

Santana smiled and followed Kurt out the door.

* * *

_Santana sat frozen on the bed. She couldn't move. Her brow was furrowed into a permanent frown. The towel that she held around her body was bunched tightly in her fist._

" _Santana," Brittany said softly, moving to sit next to her girlfriend. "Please say something."_

_Santana stood up as soon as Brittany sat down, causing a hurt look to cross her features._

" _What the hell am I supposed to say?" Santana said slowly in a low voice. It had to be some kind of joke. No, it was a dream, a nightmare. She'd wake up from it soon._

_"San, I'm sorry," Brittany began before Santana's anger spiked._

" _Sorry?" she shouted. "_ SORRY _? You can be sorry if you forget your keys. You can be sorry if you kick me when we're sleeping. You can be sorry if you mix the colours with the whites when we do laundry."_

" _I only did that once," Brittany murmured._

" _Dammit, Brittany!" Santana yelled, tears springing to her eyes. "You can't be sorry when you're doing this on purpose. You're being selfish and that's not fair to me. Or to us."_

" _Selfish?" Brittany repeated, also standing, her eyes flashing. "Santana, I have_ never _been selfish. I followed you here because it's where_ you _wanted to go. I could've stayed in Ohio or even gone to LA, but I came here for_ you _. We said that New York also had great opportunities for dancers and now that I get an opportunity you're saying that I'm being selfish for taking it? That's a little hypocritical, don't you think?"_

_Santana's breathing was speeding up and Brittany's eyes went wide. Santana was having a panic attack and it had only ever happened twice._

" _Shit," she said, crossing the room in two long strides. "Sit down, San."_

_Santana pulled her hand away, but her breaths just became more and more erratic and Brittany could hear her gasping for air._

" _Don't be an idiot, Santana," Brittany said sharply. "I know what to do. Lie down on the bed."_

_Santana glared at Brittany who returned it with interest, but she obeyed, lying face down on the bed, burying her head underneath a pillow. Brittany closed her eyes and took a deep breath before dropping the towel still around her and straddling Santana's butt._

" _What the fuck, Britt?" Santana breathed out angrily, gasping for air and trying to push her off._

" _Turn around," Brittany said sternly. "I can't do this with a towel around me. I'm not stupid enough to try something with you now."_

_Santana mumbled something that Brittany couldn't catch, and part of her was glad she didn't. Santana resorted to insults when she was hurting. Normally, Brittany would brush them off, but Santana knew what words would cut deeply and she was hurting enough to bring those out, consequences be damned._

_Once Santana was settled again, Brittany gently tugged her towel down, still with some resistance from Santana. Eventually she had her back exposed. Brittany methodically starting pushing on the different pressure points on Santana's back and neck, gently rubbing the skin around it. After about five minutes, Santana's breathing was back to normal but she'd started shaking. Brittany knelt next to her in alarm and turned her over. Her heart almost broke at the sight of Santana weeping. Not just crying,_ weeping _; the kind of crying that came from the very soul._

" _San," Brittany said softly. "I don't know what to do."_

" _Don't g-g-g-go!" Santana sobbed, trying to look angry, but failing miserably._

_Brittany didn't say anything and looked down._

" _Why w-w-won't you stay with m-m-me?" Santana shouted, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Am I not enough f-f-for you to stay?"_

" _Santana, of course you are," Brittany said softly, her hand stroking the Latina's bare back. "You're everything."_

" _Then w-w-why, Brittany?" Santana asked in a broken voice._

_Brittany hated how helpless she sounded. She was Santana motherfucking Lopez, for Christ's sake! Uber-confident and bitch 24/7. She knew that she needed to say the right words. Unfortunately, words were Santana's department._

" _San," she began slowly, "if I stay here and let this chance pass me by, I'm scared that I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life. These opportunities don't come around twice in a lifetime." She paused and thought. "I'm scared that I'm going to end up blaming you because I stayed for you."_

_Santana sat up suddenly, pushing Brittany's comforting hand away. She pulled the towel tightly around her and moved to the edge of the bed._

" _You won't stay for you," she said simply. Brittany had never heard her voice so flat and devoid of any emotion._

" _What do you mean?" Brittany asked, her brow furrowing in confusion._

" _I mean that you won't stay because you want to. You're trying to pin this on me. You're trying to blame me if you stay, so that you won't feel guilty or whatever."_

" _Santana-"_

" _No!" Santana shouted. "You won't stay for you because you want this-" her voice broke again and tears ran down her face, breaking Brittany's heart, "more than you want me."_

" _God, no, that's not it!" Brittany said desperately, moving closer to the love of her life, terrified that it wasn't going at all the way she planned. "Santana, I love you more than anything in this whole world and I never will love anyone or anything as much as I love you. You're my everything."_

" _Clearly I'm not, Brittany!" Santana yelled. "If I were, you wouldn't be leaving me!"_

" _But I'm not going forever, San," Brittany tried explaining. "It's only for a year. It's a worldwide tour and Rihanna asked for me personally. I can't pass this up."_

" _Fine."_

_Brittany blinked. "What?"_

" _Go."_

" _San…"_

" _GO!"_

 _Brittany swallowed, her chest hurting. It wasn't going_ at all _how she'd planned._

" _Baby, please," she begged. "I love you. Don't hate me."_

" _Brittany." Santana's voice was firm, reminding Brittany of those times in high school when she would wake up in Brittany's bed after a night of love making and pretend that it meant nothing. "Go on your stupid tour. Just know that if you walk out of that door, we're done."_

" _What?" Brittany whispered, tears filling her eyes. "San, you can't mean that."_

" _Can't I?" Santana said angrily. "Never mind that you're choosing a tour over me, but how do I know that you're going to stay faithful to me? No, I'm not about to make that mistake twice."_

_That got Brittany's temper up. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"_

_Santana just folded her arms across her chest and looked at Brittany coldly._

" _You're unbelievable!" Brittany said in exasperation. "I was_ always _yours, Santana. You were the one that never wanted me the way I wanted you. If you'd asked me, I would've been yours in a heartbeat. You pushed me away and every time you hooked up with other guys, my heart broke. Did you care? No. But I loved you, so I took it because I knew you'd come back to me in the end. And you did, every time. The one time I managed to get a good guy, you couldn't handle it and didn't want to wait for me. So don't you_ dare _tell me that I wasn't faithful to you."_

_Brittany was crying now, tears blurring her vision and she wiped them away angrily._

" _I can't believe that after everything we went through together that you're still the same petty Santana from high school. I thought you'd grown up."_

_Santana took the bait. "I did grow up. I got us out of Lima, just like we'd planned. We're in the biggest city in the world on our own and now you want to leave."_

" _Please," Brittany scoffed. "Your dad is paying for this place and for your studies. My job is what lets us eat every night. So who exactly is the grown up here, Santana?"_

" _I fucking_ hate _you!" Santana screamed. "Get out! I don't ever want to see you again! You ungrateful bitch!"_

_Brittany shook her head. "I seriously thought that after waiting for you for two years, you'd trust me enough to come back to you after living out my dream. But I guess your dream is the only one that matters, isn't it, Santana?"_

" _We are the dream," Santana replied hotly. "Well, at least I thought we were. We always said that so long as we were together, we could do anything. Guess you faded on that idea pretty quick."_

" _Oh my God!" Brittany shouted. "Do you actually even hear yourself? You sound like a five-year-old child! And that's coming from_ me _!"_

" _And where would you be without me, Brittany?" Santana said spitefully. "Back in Bumfuck, Ohio, hooking up with anyone willing to spread your legs."_

_Brittany's eyes stung. As bitchy as Santana was, she'd never called her a slut or stupid. Brittany thought she glimpsed a flicker of remorse in Santana's eyes as the words slipped out, but it was too late to take them back._

" _You know, I feel sorry for you," Brittany said in a strangled voice as she stood up from the bed. "I believed in you. I was the only one. Now who do you have? No one. Do you know why, Santana? Because you're a bitch. You're a selfish, ungrateful, spoilt bitch. And as it turns out, not even I am immune from your insane need to control everyone and everything around you. I put up with it for thirteen years. But I won't anymore. You can't tell me what to do."_

_Santana didn't say anything, her mask firmly in place. Brittany was surprised that she still remembered how to use it._

" _I wish that things didn't end like this, but…" Brittany trailed off, not sure what else to say._

_Santana sat in silence and watched as Brittany quickly dressed. She ran a hand through her hair and turned to Santana._

" _I wish that I had been enough for you, Santana."_

_She turned and walked out of the bedroom and out of Santana's life._


	5. Chapter 5

High-pitched crying jolted her from her deep slumber. Santana pushed herself off the bed and rubbed her eyes tiredly as she walked to Bella's crib. Her five-month old looked up at her with her dark eyes and slightly trembling lower lip.

"What's wrong, baby girl?" Santana whispered, trailing her finger over Bella's forehead. It was something she'd done since her daughter had been born and it seemed to be calming.

Bella's tears ceased and she smiled up at her mother. Santana rolled her eyes and smiled back.

"You manipulate me, baby girl," she teased, reaching down to pick up her daughter. "You already know I can't resist that beautiful smile."

Bella emitted a small gurgle and reached for Santana's face. She giggled at her daughter's clumsy movements.

"Come on, let's go to bed," Santana said tiredly. "Mama's got work in the morning." She nuzzled her nose against Bella's soft neck. "But I really don't want to leave you."

Santana cherished the times when she and Bella would lay on her bed and just look at each other. It was almost like they were having silent conversations. Bella knew every inch of Santana's face and had started trying to mimic the expressions her mother made. Santana thought it was subconscious. Babies couldn't do that kind of stuff already, right? But the little noises that Bella made, her tiny hands tracing her mother's face, made Santana the proudest mom in the world.

They fell asleep looking at each other, Bella gripping Santana's index and middle fingers.

* * *

Kurt poked his head in the following morning and smiled at the scene. He resisted the urge to take a photo because he knew Santana would beat him senseless. Being a mother had definitely tempered her, but the Santana Lopez from Lima, Ohio was still very much present in her demeanour away from her daughter. No nonsense, tough-talking, confident Santana Lopez, Head Bitch In Charge, was still very much alive.

"How is she?" Finn asked, pouring his brother a cup of coffee.

"I think she's doing okay," Kurt replied. "Thanks," he added, taking the warm cup of caffeine. "I worry that she's working herself too hard though. She's pushing hard at work to finish early so that she can come home to Bella." He paused.

"Kurt," Finn said in a warning tone. "I know that look. Don't interfere too much."

Kurt sighed. "I just…" he paused. "I know they said they wanted nothing to do with her anymore, but I mean they're her _parents_. I'm pretty sure that if they took one look at Bella, they'd realise what a mistake they made by cutting her out of their lives."

The thought had been rolling around in Kurt’s head for months. Would Santana really hate them for attempting a reconciliation?

"We should talk to Rachel," Finn said quietly. "Maybe we can trick them into coming here with tickets to her show."

Kurt smiled brightly. "Brilliant idea, Finn."

"Morning, guys," Santana said sleepily, walking into the kitchen and pouring herself a cup of coffee. She glanced at the brothers and raised an eyebrow at their guilty faces. "What?"

"Uh, nothing," Kurt said quickly. "We were just talking about what we were going to do for your birthday."

Santana chuckled. "That was last month. And I told you already, I don't want anything. No party, no presents, nothing. You guys have already done so much for me and Bella."

* * *

Santana walked back into her room with her coffee and placed it on her bedside table. She wasn't stupid. She knew that they were talking about either her parents or _her_. Santana sighed. She knew they meant well, and she knew that they worried about her, but she was the only one that could really deal with this. Brittany wasn't going to come back and as much as Santana may regret some of the things she’d said that night, Brittany hadn't made _any_ effort to reconcile.

Bella started to wake up and Santana recognised the look on her daughter's face. She was hungry. Santana sat down on the bed and picked Bella up, cradling her to her breast. She pushed her top up and Bella recognised her source of food immediately and latched on eagerly. Santana chuckled and leaned back, just watching her daughter feed. Their eyes met and Bella gave her a small smile, some milk dribbling out the side of her mouth.

Santana smiled tenderly and wiped the trail away.

Ten minutes later, Bella was full and Santana put her back in her crib after burping her and singing to her softly. As she saw her baby breathing peacefully, her eyes travelled to the clock.

"Shit!" she hissed. ""Shit! Shit!"

She was going to be so late.

* * *

"Miss Lopez, this is the third time in two weeks that you're late," Mr. Thomas, her boss, said firmly.

"I know, sir," Santana said apologetically. "I'm doing my best to manage everything."

Mr. Thomas sighed. "I like the way you work, Santana. I really do. That's probably the only reason why you haven't been warned several times already. But if this keeps up, I'm not going to be able to ignore it forever."

"Understood, sir," Santana said gratefully. "I give you my word that I won't let you down. Thank you."

Santana breathed a sigh of relief as she exited her boss' office and took a seat at the desk in front of his door. Sure, being a PA wasn't glamorous, but Santana needed a job and she got some good health benefits – something she knew she would need when she’d discovered she was pregnant. The medical expenses that went along with delivering a baby had pretty much depleted any and all savings that Santana had managed to keep since she'd started her job a month after realising her impending motherhood.

Santana shook herself out of her trip down memory lane and started checking emails. She had to start somewhere and it didn't matter what she did, as long as she and Bella were safe and she could provide for her daughter.

She ignored the voice in her head that taunted her, saying that her daughter had better get used to second-hand clothes.

* * *

_Santana's hand was shaking as she dialled the familiar area code of Lima and her parents' home number. Kurt held tightly onto her other hand as Santana struggled to control her breathing._

" _Hello?"_

"Hola, _mama," Santana said quietly._

" _Santana!" Maribel Lopez squealed in delight. "_ Mija _, so good to hear from you! How are you?"_

" _Um, I'm, uh, I'm okay," Santana struggled to get out. She switched to Spanish. "Mama, could you fetch Papi? I need to tell you both something."_

" _Santana, what's wrong?" Santana could hear the concern in her mother's voice and her heart broke a little at the thought of her news rupturing their relationship. "_ Mija _, are you and Brittany okay?"_

_Santana immediately choked back a sob._

"Mija _, tell me what's wrong right now," Maribel said in rapid Spanish. "Your father is on his way."_

" _Mami," Santana cried, letting the tears fall down her cheeks. "She's gone. Brittany's gone."_

"Ai, carina _," Maribel said in sympathy. "What happened?"_

" _She l-l-left me to go on a stupid tour," Santana sobbed. "Mami, th-th-that's not why I called though."_

" _Santanita?" It was her father._

" _Papi," Santana said softly, smiling. She was a total Daddy's girl._

"Mija _, what's this all about?"_

_Santana took a deep breath and looked at Kurt, who nodded encouragingly, his hand on hers never faltering._

" _I'm pregnant."_

_Santana looked at the phone in her hand and shook it to check if it was still working._

" _Mami? Papi?"_

" _Is this a joke?" her father asked, his voice low and angry._

_Santana swallowed. "No. It was a stupid mistake, but it is what it is."_

" _How could you be so irresponsible, Santana?" he exploded. "After everything we taught you! You should know better!"_

_Santana closed her eyes, tears streaming down he cheeks uncontrollably. "I-I know. I'm sorry," she whispered._

" _What are you going to do about it?"_

_Santana blinked. "Excuse me?"_

" _You can't possibly think about keeping it. Santana, you're eighteen! You can't raise a baby!"_

_Santana's cheek grew hot. "Papi, you know better than anyone what my views on that are. I don't believe in it. Yes, I made a mistake, but my baby should not have to pay the price for it. I'm keeping it."_

_There was silence again for a while and Santana could hear muffled voices as her parents discussed her situation._

" _Santana."_

"Si _, Papi?"_

" _Is this your decision?"_

" _It is," Santana confirmed._

" _What about the father?"_

_Santana grimaced. "He's not in the picture."_

" _Please don't tell me you had a one-night-stand and were stupid enough to not use protection."_

" _I-I don't remember," Santana stuttered. God, she sounded like a common slut._

" _Were you raped?"_

" _No," Santana replied. "Just drunk."_

" _This is unbelievable," her father raged, slipping back into Spanish. "I thought we raised a level-headed girl. I let you go to New York because I knew I could trust you. And I let you go because I knew Brittany would be with you. I knew you two would take care of each other."_

_Santana couldn't say anything. Her throat tightened and she couldn't get any words out. It still hurt so much._

" _Santana." Oh, God. She hated this voice. It was the voice he used when he told patients bad news._

" _Papi, please, I need your help," Santana whispered. She had never felt smaller than she did at that point. She was a proud person who didn't ask for help, didn't feel like she needed help. And here she was, begging her father._

" _Santana, I can't help you with this. You have made your choice and I am making mine."_

_Santana's heart broke again. Those words, almost a replica of what her Abuela had said to her the night she'd told her she was gay._

" _Papi, what are you saying?"_

_He sighed audibly. "I cannot support your decision to have this baby. I have given you an option and you have gone against it. Therefore, I cannot stand by and allow you to throw your life away. If you want this baby, you will do it on your own."_

" _What?" Santana whispered._

" _I am cutting you off, Santana. Maybe once you realise that you're too young to do this, you will reconsider my option."_

" _Never," Santana spat. "I refuse to kill my baby because you can't handle that your daughter made a mistake and will have a baby out of wedlock. Just because you see hundreds of teen moms a week doesn’t mean that I’m going to be another statistic. I’m not like them. I am your only daughter and you're cutting me off completely?"_

" _You have made your choice and I have made mine."_

_Those words again. Santana burst into tears and dropped the phone, cradling her stomach and bending over. She was utterly alone. Everyone she loved had abandoned her._

" _Santana," Kurt said softly. "We're still here. We're your family. You won't lose us."_

_Santana just shook her head and cried loudly. When Brittany left, it had hurt so badly, but being rejected, forgotten by her parents decimated any self-worth she had left. Sobs wracked her body and Kurt pulled her head onto his lap, stroking her hair soothingly._

" _I want Brittany," Santana whispered._

" _We're here now," Kurt said softly, continuing to stroke her hair. "No matter what happens, we're going to be there every step of the way with you through this."_

" _Kurt, what am I going to do?" Santana said in a small voice._

_Kurt sighed. "Right now, we're going to wash your face and go and have some ice cream."_

_Santana made a face. "I don't want ice cream."_

" _What do you want?"_

" _Brittany."_

 _Kurt sighed again._ " _Santana, I know you miss her and right now, I miss her a little too because she would know exactly what to do. I know I'm not Brittany, but I'm here. I'm going to stay with you and help you in any way you need me to."_

" _Thanks," Santana mumbled, sniffing._

" _Ugh, you'd better not stain these pants," Kurt teased. "They cost me a fortune."_

_Santana let out a giggle. "You designed them, silly."_

_Kurt chuckled. "Fair enough. But I don't make replicas, remember?"_

" _You're one of a kind," Santana sighed, pushing herself into a sitting position. She turned and gave him a watery smile. "Thank you, Kurt."_

_He smiled back. "So, any cravings yet?"_

_Santana chuckled. "I really want breadsticks."_

" _I should've guessed," Kurt replied, shaking his head._


	6. Chapter 6

Bella clapped her hands eagerly. Since she'd learnt how to do it a few weeks before, it had become her favourite activity, clapping at anyone and anything. She mumbled in her adorable baby language and crawled around her playpen. Santana sat on the edge of her bed just watching her, a small smile playing on her lips. Her daughter was eight months old exactly. She couldn't believe how the time had flown.

"Santana, we're ordering Chinese for dinner," Finn said, poking his head in. "What would you like?"

"Oh, I had some food at the cocktail party before coming home," Santana replied dismissively. "Don't worry about me."

"You do realise that Kurt is going to come in here in about thirty seconds and pester you until you order something, right?"

Santana chuckled, knowing that Finn was probably right. "Fine, I'll just have some sweet and sour pork. With noodles. And no veggies."

Finn smiled and shook his head as he disappeared out of the doorway.

"Mmmaaaaaammmaaaaaa," Bella gurgled, grabbing her teething toy and biting it.

Santana froze. "What did you say, baby girl?"

Bella just gave her mother a big smile and went back to her teething toy. Santana moved from the bed and sat down next to Bella's playpen, looking at her intently. Her mind wasn't playing tricks on her, surely.

"Mmmmmaaaaa," Bella said, looking at her toy and waving it around.

Santana smiled and shook her head. She was only eight months old for Christ's sake. She couldn't talk yet.

"Mmmaaammaaa," Bella said again. Santana met her eyes and Bella smiled. "Mmaaammaaa." She held up her arms.

"Oh my God," Santana whispered, her face breaking out into a smile.

She knelt and reached into Bella's playpen, picking her up and seating her daughter on her lap. Bella's hands immediately went to Santana's face, one of favourite things to touch. Santana grabbed Bella's podgy fingers softly between her lips and pretended to eat them, complete with sound effects.

Bella squealed in delight and pulled her hand away to clap. Santana chuckled.

"Mmaaammmaaaa."

Santana met her daughter's eyes and Bella reached up with both hands, placing them over her eyes. "Mmaaammmaaa," she said with a determined tone.

"That's right, baby girl," Santana replied with a smile. "I'm your Mama."

"Mmaaammaaa."

Ecstatically, she gathered Bella into her arms and ran into the living room.

"She said Mama!" Santana squealed.

The rest of the evening was spent fussing over little Bella's newest development and Santana couldn't have been more proud at that point. There was a chime at the door and Finn got up to see who was downstairs. He buzzed the lobby door for whomever it was – probably the delivery guy. Santana didn't miss the glance between Rachel and Kurt, but her attention was quickly returned to her daughter who was crawling her way around the couch.

A knock at the door reminded her that she was actually quite hungry. "I'll get it," she said.

"Mmmaaaammmaaa," Bella called as she saw her mother leaving.

"Don't worry, baby girl, I'll be right back!" Santana cooed, her smile bright.

She opened the door and the smile dropped right off her face. Her heart started hammering.

_Is this some kind of cruel joke?_

"W-what are you doing here?"

* * *

_Kurt found Santana in a towel curled on her bed. Her pillow was soaked with tears and her body was freezing._

" _Come on, Santana, let's get you dressed," he said soothingly._

" _She's gone," Santana sobbed. "She's gone, gone, gone, gone. She doesn't love me."_

" _I'm sure she does." Kurt tried to comfort, but he'd never seen Santana, usually a pillar of strength, so vulnerable. He'd received the distressing call and had come over straight away, deciding that Rachel would probably say the wrong thing and Finn wouldn't actually do anything. "She's probably realising what a mistake she's made and she's on her way back right now."_

_Santana lifted her head and looked at Kurt through blurry eyes. "You think so?"_

" _I'm sure," Kurt replied, smiling. He hoped that his voice sounded more confident than he felt._

" _I love her so much, but she doesn't love me back. And I told her I hated her. Why would I say that?" Santana began again, mumbling as her tears started._

_Kurt felt a strange surge of anger at the Brittany. It was virtually impossible for anyone to get mad with her because she really was just so innocent and happy all the time. There had to be an explanation for her just leaving and causing Santana so much pain._

_Kurt got up off the bed and rummaged through Santana's dresser and pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a shirt. He sat back down on the bed next to where Santana was holding her pillow for dear life._

" _Sit up, Santana," he said gently. "You need to put on clothes before you get sick."_

_Santana sighed and obeyed, her body like a rag doll though. Kurt dressed her carefully, not caring that Santana was naked before him. She didn't seem to either._

" _Are you hungry?" Kurt asked once Santana was dressed._

" _Shit! The dinner!" Santana bolted out of the bed and ran into the kitchen. She pulled the oven open and peered inside. The oven had been turned off, but the mac and cheese was pretty much ruined anyway. Brittany must have turned it off before she left. Her thoughtfulness just brought on another bout of tears and Santana crumpled against the cupboards as she sobbed._

" _Ssshhh," Kurt soothed, pulling her into his arms._

" _Kurt, what did I do?" Santana cried, burying her face in his chest. "She's never coming back and it's all my fault."_

" _She left, Santana, not you."_

" _But I made her go," Santana insisted. "I'm not good enough for her. She deserves so much better. She deserves the world and I told her to stay here with me. And she said no."_

_Kurt frowned. He was pretty certain that Santana had played a small part in Brittany leaving – they all knew the damage her vicious words could do, especially when she was upset. But Kurt couldn't let go of the fact that Brittany had actually left her, that she hadn't tried to work it out before she left. Long distance was an option, wasn't it?_

" _I think you should come home with me," Kurt said._

" _B-but what if she comes back to get her stuff?" Santana said suddenly._

" _Santana, look at me." Kurt said firmly, gripping her shoulders. "If Brittany wanted to come back, she would be the one with her arms around you right now, not me. If she wants to leave, then let her leave. If you mean as much to her as she professes then she'll come back to you."_

" _B-but, I want her now," Santana sobbed. "I don't care if she goes, she needs to know that I love her."_

" _Then call her, Santana," Kurt said gently, handing her his phone._

_Santana grabbed it and quickly dialled the number she knew so well. In the quiet of the apartment, Kurt could hear the rings. Santana gripped it tightly as she waited for Brittany to pick up._

" _Br-"_

" _Look, Kurt, I know you're probably calling because of Santana, but I've made my decision. She won't support me and I'm done living my life through her. It's time I followed my own dream. I-I'm sorry that it had to come to this, but if I don't do this now, I'll always regret it and that's not fair to either of us. Take care of her, okay?"_

_Santana dropped the phone as a dial tone erupted in her ear. Kurt clutched her as she trembled, her sobs vibrating throughout her entire body. He had no idea what to do. Brittany really wasn't coming back._

* * *

_Santana didn't get out of bed for a week, despite numerous attempts by Kurt, Rachel and Finn. She hardly ate, just slept and cried. The sounds coming from the spare room in their apartment worried her three friends to the brink of insanity. They just didn't know what to do anymore. She was almost catatonic._

" _Finals are coming up for her. She's worked too hard this year to let it all go to waste. We have to get her back into some kind of a normal routine," Rachel said in exasperation for about the tenth time. "She's going to end up killing herself and I, for one, don't need a scandal like that this early in my career."_

" _Seriously, Rachel?" Finn said, frowning at his fiancée. "This is Santana. She's become one of our best friends. She's heartbroken and about two days away from seriously hurting herself and you can only think about your career?"_

" _I…" Rachel trailed off, at a loss for words._

" _We have one option left," Kurt said in resignation. "I really didn't want it to come to this, but we have to break out the tough love. It's not going to be pretty and she's going to fight it tooth and nail, but it has to be done."_

" _You're right," Finn said, standing up. "What's the first step?"_

_Kurt looked at the closed bedroom door. "First, we get her out of bed and into a shower. Then clean clothes and something to eat. We'll see how that goes and take it from there. I have a feeling just getting her to do that will be difficult enough."_

_Rachel and Finn nodded and followed Kurt to the guest room. They opened the door and heard quiet sniffles coming from inside the dark room. Kurt flicked the light switch on and Santana moaned, throwing the covers over her head._

" _Go away!" she mumbled. "Just leave me alone."_

" _I'm afraid the time of leaving you alone is over," Kurt said firmly. "We're done watching you waste your life away."_

_Finn and Kurt went to the side of the bed that Santana was curled up on and Rachel gripped the duvet, ready to pull it off. Kurt nodded and Rachel yanked, exposing Santana's tiny frame huddled in a ball._

" _Leave me alone!" she cried, holding herself tighter._

" _Finn, take her shoulders," Kurt instructed._

_Finn wrapped his huge arms around the top half of Santana's body and held her so that she couldn't get free. Kurt grabbed her legs and surprised everyone with the strength he possessed and held her thrashing legs firmly against the bed._

" _Rachel, the shower," he commanded._

_Rachel disappeared into the en suite while Finn and Kurt struggled with a thrashing Santana. It was the most life they'd seen in her since before Brittany left, so it was already progress._

_Santana screamed as Finn and Kurt eventually got her into the shower._

" _Rachel, I know you're not going to be happy about what happens next, but suck it up, okay?" Kurt said through gritted teeth._

_Rachel frowned and watched as Kurt and Finn began to undress a protesting Santana. It wasn't easy. Finn had to keep hold of her shoulders, which made it difficult to get her shirt off. Rachel set her jaw and stepped forward, grabbing the bottom of Santana's shirt and lifting it. Decency was not important at that point. Finn relaxed one hand on Santana as Rachel thread her arm out of the shirt. Santana eventually realised what was happening and started crying._

" _Why are you doing this?" she sobbed. "I can't do anything without her! She doesn't want me anymore! I'm not worth anything!" She screamed the last part._

" _Santana Lopez, you listen to me! I know that your heart is broken, but it will heal. It's going to take a while, but you have to continue living your life." Santana's sobs quietened at Rachel Berry scolding her like a child. "You're going to end up killing yourself if you continue like this! I know it hurts,_ trust _me, but what about all the people here that still love you? You've got me and Kurt and Finn and your parents and what about your friends at college?"_

_Santana sniffed, tear tracks all over her face. She looked at Rachel curiously._

" _You don't know what this feels like," she whispered fiercely._

" _Yes, I do," Rachel replied in the same tone. "I've been in love with the same boy since freshman year. When he finally noticed me, I was only a momentary distraction. That broke my heart. To have him finally look at me and_ notice _me, but in the next second turn around and go back to his perfect life with his perfect girlfriend like I was_ nothing _. I know what this feels like."_

_She glanced at Finn, who was looking back at her with a pained expression._

" _Then I made the biggest mistake of my life by being petty and trying to get back at Finn for sleeping with you, but all that got me was more heartache. Yes, Finn and I eventually reconciled, but it wasn't easy on either of us. Love is never easy. It hurts more than anything and we know how much you love Brittany so we know that you're hurting a lot._

" _But, you have us here to help you get through it. We're not going anywhere, Santana, because this isn't something that you should have to deal with on your own. And that's what we're doing now. We're helping you. You can't let yourself waste away anymore."_

_Santana struggled against Finn and Kurt, but they just held her tighter._

" _Let me go."_

_Her voice was resigned and Rachel held up a hand in agreement. The boys released her and she fell into Rachel's waiting arms. She gave them a look and they exited the bathroom, closing the door behind them._

* * *

_Rachel held Santana tightly as she cried a fresh set of tears. How did she possibly have any more tears to cry? Rachel sighed and just held her for a few minutes until the sobs subsided._

" _Let's get you washed up," Rachel said gently, pulling back and stroking Santana's hair. "How does that sound?"_

_Santana nodded slowly and seemed to just realise that she was naked from her pants upwards._

" _Oh, shit," she murmured immediately folding her arms across her breasts._

" _Relax, Santana," Rachel said, smiling. "I have a pair of those too. Nothing I haven't seen before."_

" _Those flea bites don't compare to my rambunctious twins," Santana snipped, sounding very much like her old self. Her eyes widened and she clamped a hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry," she murmured._

_Rachel laughed. "Santana, it's perfectly all right. I almost started insulting myself because my day just didn't seem complete without one of your snarky comments."_

_Santana cracked a small smile. "I've been so horrible to you. Why are you being so nice to me?"_

_"Well, like I said earlier, we're friends and regardless of the fact that we became friends because of a certain blonde who shall remain nameless, I care for you and to see you hurt like this hurts me."_

" _Thank you," Santana whispered. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do now though." Her face scrunched up like a new set of tears was about to escape._

" _We start with a shower," Rachel suggested. "It'll make you feel better. And then we'll get some lunch. How does that sound?"_

_Santana took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay."_

* * *

_It took two days for Santana to go back to class. Her grades were suffering, but after a week of getting back into her routine, she was on her way to getting back on track. Finals were just starting so she used studying as an excuse to try and forget about Brittany. She still cried every night, but she was eating and she sat in the living room with Kurt, Rachel and Finn, talking about anything and everything._

_She also became close with Rachel. If anyone had told her in high school that Rachel frigging Berry would become her lifesaver, she would've laughed hysterically and kicked their ass six ways from Sunday._

_After a month, Santana seemed to be coping. She'd done really well on her finals and her freshman year was almost done, she'd regained the weight she'd lost during her week of self-starvation and she was even smiling a little. She hadn't been back to the apartment that she'd shared with Brittany. Kurt, Rachel and Finn had slowly been fetching her clothes, toiletries and other possessions from the apartment._

_It was a Friday – Santana remembered that much. She'd woken up that morning feeling surprisingly okay. Mornings and nights were generally the worst because that's when she'd miss Brittany's company the most._

_She had some breakfast and went to class and before she knew it, Friday night movie night was upon her and she was curled up next to Kurt as they watched_ Singin' In The Rain _._

" _Gene Kelly sure can dance," Finn commented._

" _Him and Frank Sinatra were the dynamic duo of the fifties," Kurt added. "If I had to be reborn, I would've loved to have been born in 1946."_

_Santana chuckled lightly. "You have that down to the exact year?"_

" _What, you haven't thought about when you'd like to be reborn?"_

_Santana shrugged. "Not really. Maybe today would be a good day."_

_Kurt, Finn and Rachel share a quick glance and decide to give that comment a wide berth. As well as Santana was doing, they didn't want to risk delving into something that could send her into a backwards spiral._

" _I think Debbie Reynolds was seriously under appreciated as an actress," Rachel said quickly. "I mean, she had such an amazing voice and she was a great dancer."_

" _Well, when you're competing against the likes of Cyd Charisse and Leslie Caron, it's understandable," Kurt argued. "They were classic Hollywood beauties."_

" _And they had legs for miles," Santana added._

" _Not the point," Kurt continued, but Santana smiled._

" _Ah, come on, Porcelain," Santana teased. "You're telling me that Hollywood wasn't just as fickle then as they are today?"_

" _Well…" Kurt contemplated. "I suppose you have a point."_

" _Exactly. Cyd Charisse insured her legs for $5 million. And that was back in the fifties," Santana continued. "Hollywood will always be obsessed with appearances and Debbie Reynolds didn't have that classic Hollywood look, as you called it." She shrugged. "That's life."_

" _Santana, I had no idea that you were so knowledgeable about musicals," Rachel said with a smile._

" _Um, you do remember me spending three years in Glee Club with you, right?" Santana replied, returning her smile. "You never shut up about musicals. Some of it must've infiltrated my brain without me realising it."_

" _Can that happen?" Finn mused._

" _Deflect all you want, Lopez," Rachel retorted good-naturedly. "You enjoyed Glee as much as the rest of us."_

_Santana grinned and turned her attention back to the movie. The next thing she knew, she was waking up in her bed the next morning. She sat up and frowned, moving her facial muscles. Normally her skin was dry from the crying and her eyes were sore, but she felt neither. She stood up and walked to her dressing table, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She looked fine. She didn't cry. For the first time since Brittany had left, she'd managed an entire day without crying._

" _This calls for a celebration," Rachel declared when Santana told her._

" _Berry, it's not a big deal," Santana replied, rolling her eyes. "Let's just be happy that I seem to be moving on."_

" _Nonsense," Rachel insisted. "We haven't been out in ages. Finn will be our designated driver and we're going to hit the town tonight."_

_Santana smiled. "I'm not sure if I want to experience clingy drunk Berry."_

" _I'll cling to Finn," Rachel replied with a wink. "Come on, Santana. It'll be fun!"_

_Santana sighed dramatically. "Fine," she conceded._

_And she surprised herself by having a lot of fun. Granted, that fun came in the form of copious amounts of alcohol. Way more than she'd had in a very long time. Santana remembered dancing with Rachel and giggling over tequila shots then nothing._

_She groaned inwardly and forced her eyes open. The first thing she noticed was that she wasn't in her room. The second thing she noticed was that she was naked._

Crap, crap, crap, crap. Shit, no, please let me not have done something so completely stupid! _Santana thought, dreading the sight that met her as she slowly turned her head._

_All she could see was a head of short dark hair and an arm across the pillow next to her face. The arm was big, like man big. Santana swallowed the sudden rise of bile that rose in her throat and she was pretty sure it had nothing to do with the amount of alcohol she'd inhaled._

_A guy was in the bed next to her. She'd slept with a guy. She'd had drunk sex with a_ guy _._

Fuck.

_She needed to get out of there. Santana sat up slowly, ignoring the pounding her head. God, she was never drinking again. Ever. She managed to locate her clothes and bag and stumbled quietly towards the door of the mystery guy's room. She opened the door and slipped out, glancing around the empty apartment. She breathed a quiet sigh of relief and tiptoed clumsily to the front door._

_Once she was outside, Santana took a deep breath and burst into tears._

* * *

Santana stood frozen in shock at the front door.

"Hi," Kurt said, coming up behind her. "Thanks very much for coming. I know that this is probably really awkward, but we thought that it was time the air was cleared between you."

Santana felt Rachel's hands on her shoulders, guiding her away from the door and towards the couch. The sound of Bella calling her snapped Santana back to the present and she picked up her waiting daughter.

She took a deep breath and looked up.

"What are you doing here, _Papi_?"


	7. Chapter 7

Santana looked at her father carefully. He looked a lot older than he had the last time she'd seen him, which had been over Christmas freshman year. God, had two years already passed since then? Her mother sat quietly next to him, ever the subservient wife. Their eyes met and all Santana saw was sorrow.

Her father was the one who made the decisions in the Lopez household. That was a big part of the reason that Santana had been such a rebellious teenager. Of course, her father overlooked anything she did because she was his only daughter and he doted on her. Her mother was the perfect housewife and Santana's relationship with Maribel was good.

That was why her father's decision to cut her off had hurt so much. She had honestly thought that telling them about her pregnancy would have helped her situation. Instead, she'd only made things worse.

"You look good, _mija_ ," Maribel said softly.

"Mmmaaammmaaa," Bella murmured, palming Santana's breasts.

"Uh…she's hungry," Santana stammered nervously. "I'll just go and feed her quickly."

Santana stood up with Bella on her hip and paused when her mother stood up too. She waited expectantly.

"Could I…come with?" she asked quietly.

Santana bit her lip then nodded once, walking into her room. Her mother followed and closed the door behind her. Santana sat down on her bed and undid the first few buttons on her blouse, smiling at Bella's eager hands.

"Easy, baby girl," she chuckled. "I'm getting there."

Maribel stood by the door and just watched in awe as Santana fed Bella. "She's beautiful, Santana," she said, her voice coming out a lot less strong than she'd intended. "She looks like you."

Santana looked up and inclined her head towards her mother, indicating that she joins her. Maribel finally walked hesitantly over to the bed and sat down next to Santana.

"What's her name?" Maribel whispered, clenching her hand to stop it from reaching out and brushing the dark locks on her granddaughter's head.

"Isabella," Santana replied. "Bella for short."

"Isabella," Maribel repeated in surprise. "After…after my mother?"

Santana nodded, meeting her mother's eyes. "Regardless of how she reacted to me being gay, she was still a very big part of my life and I owe a lot of who I am to her."

"You are a good person, Santana, _mi carina_. So much better than me." Maribel started to cry softly.

"Why are you crying?" Santana asked curiously.

"Because I am a terrible mother," Maribel replied through her tears. " _Mija_ , I wanted so badly to come and see you and be here for you when you were pregnant. I wanted to tell your father that we shouldn't have abandoned you. But…"

"I know how he is," Santana said softly. She sighed. "A phone call would've been nice, Mama. Anything, just something to tell me that you still cared."

She looked at Bella again, whose eyes were closed, happily sucking away.

"She's about seven months?" Maribel asked.

"Eight months today," Santana replied.

"Oh," Maribel breathed. "You've done a great job, _mija_. I'm so, so proud of you."

Santana's throat felt tight. "Are you?" she asked, her natural defences springing up. "Or are you just saying that because you feel guilty about cutting off your only child and by extension, your only grandchild?"

Maribel opened and closed her mouth. Santana knew her words rang true. " _Mija_ , I am so incredibly proud of you for sticking to your beliefs and carrying Bella. I know that you don't believe in abortion, although your reputation in high school would have suggested otherwise." Her eyes went wide and she clamped a hand over her mouth.

Santana simply smirked. "Mama, you know that I was…promiscuous in high school. I don't deny that. But I was always, _always_ careful about protection. I definitely did not want to be a Fabray 2.0 and I sure as hell was not ready to have a baby in high school."

"Were you ready to have a baby now?"

"No," Santana replied honestly, smiling down at her daughter, "but I believe everything happens for a reason and now she's my whole world. I couldn't imagine my life without her."

Maribel coughed quietly, not wanting to pry, but wanting to know everything at the same time. "Do you have a good life here, _mija_? Are you doing okay?"

Santana sighed. "Honestly, Mama, it's hard. It's really hard. I hate being away from her and I know that I'm so lucky to have Kurt and Rachel and Finn cos they help out all the time, but I think of what's going to happen when she has to go to school. What happens when she grows out of the clothes she has now? I'm getting by, but all my savings went to paying the hospital when I delivered her." She shrugged. "I'm starting from scratch and my paycheck goes only so far. My friends are happy to help, but-"

"But you want to be able to take care of your daughter yourself," Maribel said knowingly. She smiled. "You are your father's daughter. So determined to do everything yourself."

Santana smiled. "I'm not sure if that's supposed to be a compliment or an insult."

Maribel lifted a shoulder. "Take it as you will." She took a deep breath. " _Mija_ , I'll be honest, I was expecting a thunderstorm from you. Instead, I get a cool summer's day. Not that I'm complaining," she added quickly.

"Being a bitch takes up way too much energy these days," Santana said simply. "Bella needs all my focus and I've found a balance. At work, I'm still confident and don't take any shit, but here, I'm just me. I'm just Bella's mom."

"You've grown up so much in two years, _mija_."

"I had to," Santana shrugged.

They were quiet for a few moments, just looking at Bella. Santana winced as her daughter bit down a little.

"Is she starting to teethe?" Maribel asked.

"Yeah, she started about three weeks ago," Santana replied. "She's just starting to realise that they – ow! – can inflict some damage."

Santana looked down and swore she saw a mischievous glint in her daughter's eyes but brushed it off as her mind playing tricks on her. Bella yawned widely, showing the teeth that were only just starting to push through.

"Has it been hurting her a lot?" Maribel asked.

"She hasn't been complaining," Santana replied, sitting Bella up and smiling at her. Her daughter returned the smile and clapped, then burped, some regurgitated milk dribbling from her mouth. "Oh, God," Santana muttered, grabbing a towel from Bella's crib and wiping up the mess. "Way to impress, Bella."

The youngest Lopez just smiled again.

"Can I…?" Maribel asked quietly.

Santana looked at her mother. "Mama," she sighed, "I know you have the best intentions at heart, but I don't want Bella to get used to you and then never see you again. Why did you and _Papi_ come here?"

Maribel fiddled with her fingers. "Kurt called us about two weeks ago. He said that you've been sad and that we need to make things right with you."

"Really?" Santana asked in surprise. " _Papi_ went along with that?"

"Well, that's what Kurt told _me_. I told your father that we'd received special preview tickets to Rachel Berry's new show."

"Unbelievable," Santana chuckled, allowing her daughter to grab her finger and suck on it. "What did he say when he found out it was a ploy?"

"He…wasn't overly happy, but I made him come and see you and our granddaughter."

"I'm glad you did," Santana said quietly.

"Me too, _mija_ ," Maribel said, placing a hand over the once Santana was using to brace herself on the bed.

"I missed you so much. I know that I wasn't at home, but at least I knew that I had a mom. That feeling of not having parents anymore…I hated it. I felt so empty."

"Oh, Santana, you never lost us."

"Mama," Santana said with a frown, "please. You may have not renounced me as your daughter, but by cutting me out of your lives, I had to cut you out of mine. It was too painful to miss you and wish you'd call. I had to survive. I had to be strong."

Maribel nodded, tears springing to her eyes again. " _Mija_ , I want to be in your life again. I don't care what your father says. I won't let you go so easily this time. Besides the fact that I want to see my granddaughter grow up, I want to be able to pick up the phone and call you and talk about nonsense for two hours."

Santana smiled. "I think I miss those calls the most out of everything. Just knowing that I could pick up the phone and call you was so comforting to me. And then I wasn't allowed to do that all of a sudden."

"So…can I hold her now?" Maribel asked shyly.

Santana held Bella up to her face and gave her an Eskimo kiss. "What do you say, baby girl? You want to meet your Abuela?"

Bella scrunched up her nose and tucked her head into her mother's neck. Santana chuckled. "Give us a few minutes, Mama. She's not normally shy."

Maribel nodded and Santana stood up, slowly moving around the room in what looked like a practiced dance. She started humming and Bella's dark eyes found Maribel's. She immediately hid again, causing her to smile.

"Bella?" Santana asked softly.

Bella looked up at her mother and smiled. "Mmmmaaaammaa."

Maribel gasped. "Did she just-"

"Yeah," Santana said proudly. "She said it for the first time earlier today. I don't think my smile could've been any wider."

"Precious," Maribel whispered, holding a hand to her heart.

"Bella, baby. I want to introduce you to someone. Don't be shy, okay? She's my mama."

Bella's eyes recognised the words and Santana motioned for Maribel to come and stand with her. Maribel walked slowly towards her daughter and Bella smiled at her.

"Go say hi to your Abuela, baby," Santana said softly, gently placing Bella in Maribel's arms.

"Hi," Maribel breathed. "Wow. You're so beautiful. Such a pretty girl. Just like your mama."

"Mmmaammaaa," Bella said proudly, looking at Santana.

"That's right, baby," Santana said, waving.

Bella clapped her hands and smiled up at Maribel.

"Thank you for this, _mija_. I can't tell you the joy this brings me."

Santana stood next to her mother and rested her head on her shoulder. Bella smiled up at them both. The three generations stood in silence, just appreciating each other's company for a few quiet minutes until Bella took a breath and squealed loudly, causing Maribel to jump a little.

Santana laughed. "She wants to be put down. She has far too much energy. At least she knows she needs to get rid of it before she can sleep."

"How are you sleeping, _mija_?" Maribel asked in concern. "I mean, I know new mothers are tired, but you look exhausted."

Santana smiled wearily. "For the first two months, she wouldn't sleep longer than two or three hours at a time. And then she'd only sleep if she was in bed with me. She settled into a more stable pattern when she hit four months, but by then I was already back at work, which meant that at night she wanted to spend time with me and wouldn't fall asleep. She was getting her sleeping hours during the day while I was getting maybe three a night."

" _Ai, mija_ ," Maribel breathed apologetically.

Santana shrugged. "Yeah, I'm exhausted, but seeing her smile, hearing her call me mama, it makes it all worth it."

"I know what you mean. You were exactly the same, a restless baby. But when you were sleeping or making those adorable noises when I sang to you, my heart melted and I didn't care that I only got a few hours of sleep a night. Besides, it doesn't last forever."

"Yup," Santana agreed, walking to the door as Bella started to squirm. "She's starting to sleep more at night so I'm getting more like five hours a night now, which is making a difference."

She opened the door and walked into the living room, Maribel following with Bella in her arms. Upon seeing the open space that she loved to explore, Bella squealed again and started squirming in Maribel's arms.

"Okay, you little Energizer bunny," Santana chuckled, taking her daughter from her mother's arms. She caught her friends' curious gazes. "Guys? Could you monitor her explorations, please? I think I need some time here."

"Sure," Rachel replied, making a face at Bella that caused the baby to smile widely. With Rachel, Kurt and Finn minding Bella, Santana sat down on the couch again, this time her mother sat down next to her.

"Hi, Daddy," she said softly, looking up and smiling softly.

The look in his eyes was heart-breaking. "Nita," he said in a gruff voice laced with emotion. "You look tired."

"Lio," Maribel warned.

Santana smiled. "It's okay, Mama." She turned to focus her full attention on her father. "I am tired, _Papi_. Bella's been keeping me up pretty much since she was born and I work during the day so I sleep when I can, but it's not always enough."

"Lio, I think there's something we both need to say to Santana," Maribel said firmly, giving her husband a stern look.

Emilio Lopez let out a grunt, but his eyes softened when he saw his daughter cock her head in anticipation, her eyes holding nothing but longing.

" _Mija_ ," he started. He cleared his throat. "Santanita, I know that…what I said…" He gripped his head in his hands in frustration.

" _Tal vez se dice en español?_ " Santana suggested.

Emilio nodded and met his daughter's eyes again, speaking in Spanish. "Santanita, I was wrong. I was angry and I couldn't see past it. All I saw was you throwing away your future. You were throwing everything away that you'd worked so hard for." He paused. "I miss you. I miss hearing your voice. I miss your laugh. I miss your teasing. I even miss you yelling at me." Santana's serious face broke into a smile.

"I miss you too, _Papi_ ," Santana said in Spanish. "All I needed was your love and support. That's all I asked for."

"I know," Emilio replied. "And I am so sorry that it took me almost two years to get over myself. Can…can you forgive me? Forgive us? I need my little girl back."

Santana smiled widely and rose, seating herself in her father's lap like she used to do before she left Ohio. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, breathing in his familiar scent.

"I love you, Daddy. And of course I forgive you. I have you now and that's what important. I missed you both so much." Santana held out a hand in the direction where her mother was still sitting and undoubtedly crying. Maribel sat down next to her husband and Santana wrapped and arm around each of her parents. She felt so happy. She had thought that only Bella could bring her this kind of happiness, but she hadn't realised how much she had missed her parents until they walked into her apartment.

"Now what?" Santana asked as she pulled back, looking between her parents.

"Can I meet my granddaughter?" Emilio asked.

Santana grinned. "Of course." She jumped off his lap and knelt on the couch, looking behind it. Sure enough, her daughter was crawling along the back of the couch, fascinated by the small frills at the bottom.

"Bella," she sang.

Her daughter immediately looked up and smiled. "Mmmaaammaa."

Santana bent over and held out her arms. Bella immediately raised her own and squealed in delight as her mother held her close and nuzzled her neck.

"I have someone else for you to meet," Santana told her daughter. She shifted on the couch until she was sitting on the end closest to her father. He had a mixture of fear and awe on his face. "This is my _Papi_. He's your Abuelo."

"Mmaammaaa."

Santana chuckled. "So far, that's all her vocabulary consists of."

"Amazing," Emilio murmured. He tentatively reached a hand towards Bella who smiled at him and grabbed his finger, immediately putting it in her mouth.

"Bella's mouth, the world of discovery," Santana said, rolling her eyes and smiling.

"She's perfect," Emilio said softly. "Santana, you've done wonderfully."

"Thanks, Daddy," Santana said, blushing. Praise from her father was a rare occurrence, so when she got it, she held onto it.

"I'm…" his voice caught again. "I'm-"

"We're," Maribel interrupted, placing her arm on her husband's leg. She nodded to him.

"Yes, _we're_ both so proud of you."

Santana blinked back the tears that materialised out of nowhere. "I can't tell you how much that means to me. Thank you."

All the Lopez's had huge smiles, and the youngest just had a finger in her mouth, perfectly content.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much done with the flashbacks now :)

Santana checked her reflection one more time in the mirror and frowned. She didn't feel normal. This wasn't something that moms wore.

"What's that look for?" Kurt queried, poking his head into her bedroom.

"I don't know," Santana mused. "Isn't this too…slutty for a mom?"

Kurt laughed loudly and Bella joined in from her spot on the bed, clapping her hands.

"Yeah, great support base you guys are," Santana quipped, winking at her daughter.

"Mama," Bella said seriously.

"Yes, baby girl?" Santana replied, kneeling down in front of her daughter.

Bella went on a rampage of mumbled baby noises with a few discernible vowels and consonants, her hands on her mother's face.

"You should listen to her," Kurt said matter-of-factly when Bella finished. "She's wise beyond her years."

"One year," Santana corrected. She smiled and nuzzled Bella's neck, causing her to squeal happily. "My baby's already one whole year old today, aren't you?"

"Mama!" Bella giggled.

"Okay, seriously," Santana said, standing up and doing a pirouette in front of her daughter. "What do you think? Can you be seen out in public with your mother looking like this?"

Bella stared at her mother with a straight face before breaking out into a smile and clapping her hands.

"The fashionista has spoken," Kurt said dramatically. "For what my two cents may be worth, I think you look stunning."

Santana blushed and smiled at her friend. "Thanks, Kurtie," she cooed. "I'm a total milf, right?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I think you could add any letter to the beginning of that word and you'd be good to go. Santana Lopez, ilf extraordinaire."

Santana laughed loudly and Bella joined in. Kurt waved and disappeared out of the bedroom.

"Mama," Bella said, waving her arms in the air. Santana bent down and picked up her daughter.

"And what about you, pretty girl? Do you like your dress? Abuela picked it out specially for you for today."

Bella smiled and placed a kiss on her mom's cheek. Well, more like slobbered on her mom's cheek. Santana chuckled and wiped the drool discreetly. Bella always seemed to get upset that her mother was wiping away her kisses.

"Look at us, baby girl," Santana said, standing with her daughter in front of the mirror. "We're a pair of hot bitches, you and me."

"Language, Santana!" Rachel called as she walked past the bedroom.

"Whoops," Santana giggled. "You're super smart though, Bella, so I know you won't use that word _ever_."

Bella looked perplexed and Santana saw her lips moving around to form an unfamiliar word. Her eyes widened.

"Who are you?" she asked quickly, tickling Bella with her index finger.

"Beeeewwaaa," Bella said proudly.

"That's right," Santana said. "And who am I?"

"Mama!"

"My baby, the genius," Santana chuckled. "C'mon, let's go light up the world."

She paused as she realised what she'd said. She shook it off and grabbed her coat and Bella's blanket before heading out.

* * *

"Daddy, this place is amazing," Santana said in awe once she'd got Bella settled in her baby seat at the table and had a chance to look around. "It seems a little out of my price range though."

" _Mija_ , don't be ridiculous," Emilio said with a smile. "It's our granddaughter's first birthday and we are entitled to take her and her beautiful mother out to dinner."

" _Gracias_ , _Papi_."

" _Papi_!" Bella said suddenly.

The look on Emilio's face was priceless. Santana just smiled. Her daughter had been saying that word because she kept hearing her use it when she was on the phone to her father.

"I-I-I-I…"

"It's all right, Daddy," Santana said softly, placing a hand on his arm. "It's only because that's what I call you."

"So there's no…?" Maribel queried.

"God, no!" Santana said to her mother, laughing. "That was a one-time flook. It definitely won't happen again."

"And anyone else, _mija_?" her mother prodded gently.

Santana sighed, her eyes belaying the sudden sadness she felt at knowing she was alone. Well, not alone, but that she didn't have someone at her side to love her and care for her and take her out. She definitely missed it. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that she missed a certain someone.

"No, _Mami_ ," she replied eventually. "There's no one."

"Have you tried to get in contact with…her?"

Santana smiled sadly at her mother, who reached over and squeezed her hand. "I did. About two months ago, I decided to try and reach out, to rectify the damage I'd caused. But her number is disconnected and her parents didn't answer."

"And that's all?" Emilio asked, frowning. "Santanita, this is Brittany we're talking about. You're not going to try harder than that?"

Santana took a shaky breath and willed the tears to stay away. "This whole thing has been hard, _Papi_ ," she said replied softly. "Of course I want to see her. I want to be able to tell her how sorry I am. I want to introduce her to Bella." She ran her finger across her daughter's forehead, causing Bella to look up and smile at her. "But I have to accept that it may be too late. I took the leap, even though Kurt and Rachel told me not to, and I didn't find her on the other end." She shrugged. "I believe, more than ever, that everything happens for a reason. If Brittany hadn't left, I wouldn't have Bella and I can't imagine my life without her."

"Are you still angry with her?"

"I don't know," Santana said honestly. "We both said some really hurtful things that night. I was angry for a long time because she came and _told_ me that she was going. She didn't even attempt to discuss it with me. So maybe I'm still angry about that. But mostly, I think I'm just sad. I'll probably always be sad. There's no one like her."

" _Ai, mija_ ," Maribel said sympathetically. "I'm sure that someday you two might be able to work things out."

"I don't know about that, _Mami_. I don't know if we can ever go back to what we had. Too much has changed. But…I don't know. I guess I'd like to know if we could ever be friends again." Santana shook her head. "But the chances of that happening are so remote. I don't even know where she is."

Bella banged on the table, frowning at her mother.

"Sorry, baby girl," Santana apologised, smiling. "You're absolutely right. Today is _your_ birthday and here we are talking about my sad history."

"Her dress looks gorgeous," Maribel said proudly.

"You have a good eye, _Mami_ ," Santana agreed. "But then again, you always did."

"And you also look lovely, Santanita," Emilio said, taking his daughter's hand and placing a gentle kiss on the back of it.

Santana blushed. " _Gracias_ , _Papi_."

" _Papi_!" Bella said loudly.

The table laughed.

* * *

Brittany pulled her jacket around her tightly as she trudged home after a long day at the dance studio. She was exhausted but couldn't afford to slack on her training. She had landed a gig on _Dancing With The Stars_ as one of the professional dancers. She was due to fly out to LA in a few days.

She passed a few high-class restaurants and smirked at the lavish interiors. She hated how the high society lauded their wealth over everyone. Not that she was struggling. Her back to back world tours with Rihanna and then Lady Gaga had blown up her bank account, but she was never home so she had no reason to spend it.

As she walked past the entrance to a particular restaurant, she happened to glance in and immediately froze. What in all the hell were the chances?

Santana walked through the restaurant, heading towards what Brittany assumed was the restroom. She passed the bar and Brittany saw her turn around when a guy had obviously made some sort of comment. Brittany smiled when she saw Santana's expression. The guy was getting a royal telling off for even thinking that he could talk to her.

God, she looked amazing. She was just as beautiful as Brittany remembered, possibly even more so. Her legs, damn. Brittany missed those muscular legs. She used to stare at them for hours. She was wearing crazy heels that just accentuated them, but Santana had always loved her heels.

Santana snapped her hand and flipped her hair as she turned away from the now blushing guy at the bar and continued toward the bathroom or wherever she was going. Brittany couldn't move. She wanted to run in and see her, see those dark eyes trained on her. She wanted to see that dimple she loved so much. She wanted to kiss Santana's gorgeous lips.

"Crap," Brittany muttered to herself. This wasn't supposed to happen. She was supposed to be over Santana. It had been almost two years, for Christ's sake.

Her eyes were drawn to the restaurant window as she saw Santana walking across the room again. Brittany allowed her eyes to travel up and down her ex-girlfriend's form, taking a sharp breath in. She was wearing red, Brittany's absolute favourite colour on her. The dress was short and tight and showed off her amazing cleavage. Brittany didn't think that there would ever be a time when she didn't find Santana completely and utterly sexy.

Her gaze was torn from Santana when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She fished it out and looked back to the window, but Santana had disappeared. She sighed in resignation.

"Hello?" she answered her phone.

"Hey, Britt!"

"Sara," Brittany greeted, a small smile crossing her face. She turned and started walking again. "What's up?"

"I made some mac and cheese for dinner. When do you think you'll be home?"

"I'm about ten minutes away," Brittany replied.

"Okay, great. I'll dish up for you and maybe later we can have some dessert," she said suggestively.

Brittany contemplated her options. Having a fuck buddy was useful, especially considering that her libido hadn't decreased at all since high school. She could blame Santana for that.

_Dammit! Stop thinking about her!_

"Brittany?"

"Sure," Brittany said. "See you soon."

"I'll be waiting,' Sara said flirtatiously. "Bye."

Brittany hung up without replying and shook her head. Santana was her past. Trying to rekindle anything with her would just be a bad idea, especially since she was leaving for LA in a few days. She wouldn't go through that whole drama again.

She had to leave Santana behind. It wasn't worth the heartache.

* * *

"Okay, _mija_ , it's time we discussed your future. Both of yours," Emilio said, polishing off the last of his wine.

"What do you mean?" Santana asked, her brow wrinkling in confusion. "We're doing fine. I just got a raise at work and my boss is trusting me with a lot more."

"Santana, we worked hard to give you everything you needed and wanted and yes, we spoiled you, but we want our granddaughter to have anything she wants."

"Daddy, I know that," Santana said wistfully. "And I appreciate that I always had what I wanted. I just can't afford to do the same for Bella, as much as I wish I could."

Emilio and Maribel looked at each other and Santana frowned. "Okay, what's going on? What are you guys conspiring now?"

"Santana, have you thought anymore about going back to school?" Emilio asked.

Santana blinked in surprise. "No," she replied. "It was never an option for me. Besides the crazy hours, I couldn't afford it by myself and still take care of Bella."

"What if we pay for your studies again and give you an allowance?" Emilio suggested.

Santana frowned. "This feels like I'm in high school again. An allowance?"

"Well, more like a monthly contribution to our girls' wellbeing," Maribel explained. "We want you to be able to live a life where you're doing what you want to. I know that you enjoy your job, but is it something you could see yourself doing for the rest of your life? Law was that for you once upon a time."

Santana sighed. "This is a little overwhelming. Um…" She looked over at her daughter who had passed out in her chair. "I don't know. I mean, I don't know if I want to study law anymore. I don't even know if I want to study at all. I haven't thought about it since I left."

"I understand," Emilio said. "I know you want to maintain your independence and I respect that. I just want you to know that it doesn't have to be a struggle. We _want_ to help. And before you argue, it won't be forever. As soon as you've finished studying, if that's what you want to do, then we will step back financially and you can take it from there."

"Are you serious?" Santana whispered. "Why?"

"Why?" Maribel laughed. "Because we love you! And because we need to support you now. We made a mistake and this is our way of trying to make up for it."

"But I don't expect you to make up for it," Santana replied. "I have you guys back in my life – what more could I want?"

"Better health benefits?" Emilio said firmly. Santana arched an eyebrow. "To be able to take your daughter to museums and parks and carnivals and buy her clothes and toys?"

"Of course I want that, _Papi_ ," Santana said, frowning. She felt like she was losing control again and she didn't like it. Not when it came to her daughter.

"Santana, we are not trying to take over your role as mother, provider and caregiver," Maribel said softly, seeing the look on her face. "We would never take that away from you. All we want is to help you fulfil those roles to the best of your ability."

"I need to think about this," Santana said almost to herself. She looked at her parents. "Can I…get back to you?"

"Of course, _mija_ ," Emilio said with a smile.

"Okay," Santana breathed, her mind mulling over her parents' offer.

"How about we call it a night, girls?" Emilio suggested. "Bella is already tuckered out and I know you'll want to think about things. Plus, I'm stuffed."

That elicited a giggle from Santana. How did she go from having no parents and no one to love her to this? She felt like the luckiest person in the world. Of course, if a certain someone happened to walk past the restaurant as she walked out, that wouldn't be so bad either.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A time jump.
> 
> This is where the story gains momentum, now that the foundation has been established :)

**_Five years later…_ **

Brittany groaned as she collapsed onto her couch, her bags still hanging on her arms.

Sara giggled. "You look like a human baggage carrier."

"I feel like one," Brittany replied. "What time is it?"

"It's just gone three."

"I'm gonna crash. Wake me up at like eight? I wanna go out. I need to remind myself what it's like to be home for good."

Sara nodded and smiled. Brittany dragged herself to the bedroom she hardly spent time in and closed the door, just falling on the bed. After three years of constantly being on the road with various artists and productions, it felt really good to be home.

* * *

"What about this one?" Bella asked.

Santana peered out from inside her closet and squinted. "Baby, that dress is about three sizes too small for you. I know it's your favourite, but unfortunately you won't be able to fit into it anymore."

The look on her daughter's face almost broke Santana's heart and she scooped her up, sitting on the bed.

"Tell you what. We'll make a deal." Bella's eyes brightened. "You can take this to Kurt and see if he can maybe help you come up with a _new_ dress using some of this material. If he can't then we'll go shopping tomorrow for a new dress."

"I like that plan," Bella agreed. She gave Santana her puppy dog look and Santana frowned.

"What do you want?" she said warily.

"If I get a new dress, then I need new shoes."

Santana laughed. It was remarkable how much Bella was like her. She knew exactly how to manipulate a situation to her advantage, a feat Santana had accomplished when she was around Bella's age too.

"What's funny?" Bella demanded.

"You are," Santana replied, running he finger across Bella's forehead. "You're like a mini-me."

"Duh, Mommy. You had me," Bella said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Santana chuckled. "We can discuss the shoes. I think you may have to give something back for those."

"Like what?" Bella asked carefully.

"Like…you're on bed duty for two days."

"Three days?" Bella whined. "Mommy, that's not fair."

"How is that not fair?" Santana queried. "One shoe per day of bed duty."

"But it's my _birthday_ ," Bella replied as if it was the answer to everything.

"You're still going to need to walk, aren't you?" Santana quipped.

Bella huffed, sliding off her mother's lap. "You suck."

"Oh, do I?" Santana replied slyly. "Well, I guess if I suck so much then I should call Miggie's and cancel."

Bella whirled around. "No!"

Santana looked Bella in the eye and raised an eyebrow. No words were needed. Their unspoken relationship was the envy of everyone in the household.

"You don't suck, Mommy. You're the awesomest mommy ever and I'm sorry that I was rude," Bella recited as if reading off a page.

"Geez, way to sound like you mean it, baby girl," Santana gasped, feigning hurt.

Bella sighed. "Sorry, Mama," she mumbled.

Santana peeked at her daughter's disposition. She looked upset. Despite their playful relationship, Bella genuinely hated hurting her feelings.

"Come here," Santana said, opening her arms again. She slid off the bed onto the floor and her daughter curled into her lap. "You know that no matter what happens after this weekend that I'm still going to be your mom and you'll always be my number one."

"I know," Bella said softly. "I like how things are now, though. I don't want things to be different. What if I don't like it?"

"Hey, what if I don't like it either?" Santana countered. "Bella, life is all about change. And I know that everything's being dumped on us in a short space of time, but if anyone can do it, we can. We're Lopez's after all."

"Yeah," Bella said, her voice regaining its usual confidence. "We are. Nobody knocks us down."

"That's my girl," Santana said softly, squeezing her arms around her daughter.

"Mama, _Abuela_ and _Abuelo_ won't stop coming to see us just because you're finishing school, right?"

"Baby, are you kidding?" Santana scoffed. "Besides the fact that they'd miss their awesome daughter too much, they want to see you grow up and take over the world. They're always going to be a part of our lives, even when we don't want them around cos they're old and smell funny."

Bella giggled and Santana thought that it was the most wonderful sound in the world.

"You guys ready?" Rachel asked, poking her head through the door. "It's almost four."

"Shit!" Santana exclaimed, getting a smart slap on the shoulder from her daughter, complete with disdainful glare. "Sorry, baby girl," she apologised. "I'll give you a dollar when we get to Miggie's, okay?"

"Fine," Bella conceded, climbing out of Santana's lap.

Santana pushed herself up off the floor and grabbed jackets for her and her daughter.

"Okay, let's go see the grandparents!"

* * *

"Santanita!" Emilio exclaimed as he spotted them walk through the door of Miggie's, Bella's favourite restaurant.

" _Hola_ , _Papi_ ," Santana replied, kissing her father on the cheek. " _Donde esta Mami_?" she asked.

"Bathroom," Emilio replied, rolling his eyes. "She needed to check her make up."

Santana chuckled and helped Bella out of her coat before shrugging out of her own.

" _Mija_ , where's Bella?" Emilio asked with a straight face. "I want to hug my little granddaughter."

"I'm right here," Bella giggled, waving her hand in front of Emilio's face.

"Surely not?" Emilio said disbelief. "The Bella I remember wasn't such a grown-up girl!"

"Well, I'm six now," Bella replied sternly. "I'm halfway to a grown up."

Santana snorted in laughter and pretended to be looking through her phone when Bella turned to glare at her.

"I guess almost grown up girls should get almost grown up presents, then," Emilio said, smiling at his granddaughter.

Bella clapped her hands in delight. She loved being spoilt and she definitely was not left wanting in that department when it came to her grandparents. And boy did she know it.

"We should wait for your _Abuela_ ," Emilio said in a low voice. "She'd be mad if I gave you your presents without her."

Bella pouted and Santana rolled her eyes.

" _Mija_ , sit down and decide what you want to eat so long," she said in Spanish.

Santana had been adamant that Bella be bilingual, the same as her. Her Spanish wasn't as fluent as Santana's because she only ever spoke it with her mother, which hadn't been very often of late due to her finals.

Santana, to the surprise of everyone, even herself, had decided to make a move into education. She wanted to be an English teacher. After much deliberation, most of which was done in raised tones, Santana had managed to get her father to agree to her keeping her job and taking night classes to get her degree. That way she still had her own independence but her parents could help out.

Now, five years later, she had passed her final exam and was about to get her diploma.

" _Abuela_!" Bella said happily, smiling as Maribel hurried towards their table.

Maribel kissed her daughter and granddaughter on the forehead and smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry, I got distracted."

"You were showing everyone the pictures again, weren't you?" Santana accused good-naturedly.

Maribel blushed. "I'm a proud grandmother. What do you expect?"

Santana and Emilio chuckled.

"Okay, she's here. Can I open my present now?' Bella asked eagerly.

"Patience, _mija_ ," Santana warned in Spanish.

"Oh, let her be excited," Emilio said. "It's not every day that your only granddaughter turns six."

"Halfway to adulthood," Santana reminded him.

Maribel frowned in confusion and Santana waved it off, smiling. She sat back and observed her daughter ripping the paper off her presents and squealing at every single one. Santana had to admit that her parents had a great eye when it came to gift giving. She remembered always getting awesome gifts as a kid.

They ordered their food and ate, the buzz of conversation never stopping. Santana hadn't seen her parents since she'd gone back to Lima to visit them for Christmas, which had been four months before, so they had a lot to catch up on.

Santana and Maribel argued over who was going to pay, but Emilio took care of it without either of them seeing. He gave Bella a wink and she giggled, crossing her lips with her finger.

"Okay, let's bounce," Santana said, finally beating her mother down. She looked on the table for the bill. "Where's the…? _Papi_!"

"Relax, Santanita," Emilio chuckled. "You have this argument every time we come down here. You should know by now that it's pointless to argue."

"He's right, Mommy," Bella agreed.

"What is this, gang up on Santana day?" Santana joked, smiling and holding up her hands in surrender.

"Nope. It's my birthday," Bella reminded her sternly.

"So it is," Maribel said, glancing at her husband. "And you got your presents, but now it's time for Santana's present."

"My…what?" Santana asked in bewilderment. "My birthday isn't till August. You gave me my birthday present at Christmas, Mami."

"This is your graduation present," Emilio said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small box.

"But…" Words failed Santana.

"Why can't she say anything?" Bella whispered loudly to Maribel. "That never happens."

Maribel chuckled. "Sometimes, when she's surprised out of the blue, she doesn't know what to say."

"Oh," Bella said, nodding in understanding. "Open the box, Mommy," she urged.

"Right," Santana said, snapping out of her disbelief. "Um…" She looked up at her parents. "You guys have done so much already. I feel like I'm taking advantage of you. And you really didn't have to do this." She picked up the box and it jingled.

Bella's eyes widened. She loved mysteries. Santana smiled at her daughter's reaction and slid the box to her. "You're the birthday girl. You're the only one who should be opening presents today."

"But it's for you," Bella insisted.

"I'm handing over my present opening to you."

"Awesome,' Bella grinned, pulling at the ribbon.

Santana leaned closer, curious to see what could be inside. Bella opened the box and looked up at her mother in confusion. Santana's eyes widened as she pulled out a set of keys.

"You didn't," she stuttered, looking at her parents in disbelief. "What? Why? How? When?"

Maribel laughed. "New York is a big city, _mija_. It's quite easy for us to go apartment hunting unnoticed."

"I'm…I'm blown away," Santana breathed. "You got us an apartment."

"A new apartment?" Bella piped up. "So we won't live with Kurt and Rachel and Finn anymore?" She stuck her bottom lip out in protest and frowned.

"Well, your _Abuelo_ and I know how much you love staying with them so your new apartment is only a few blocks away from them," Maribel said quickly.

"So they can come and see us whenever they want?" Bella asked hopefully, looking up at her mom who was still pretty shocked. She nudged her and Santana blinked.

"Yeah, of course they can, baby girl. Anytime. Mami, Papi. I…I love you so much. _Thank you_. I can't tell you how much this means to me."

"It is our pleasure," Emilio said happily. "My two little girls are taken care of and that's all I care about."

"We have one more thing…" Maribel said mysteriously. "Isabella, I know that it's your birthday today, but we haven't seen your mama in such a long time that we wanted to give her something too."

"But you just did," Santana cut in, holding the keys up. "A whole frigging apartment!"

"Mama," Bella said sternly, slapping her arm again. "That's two times you owe me."

"Twice, baby," Santana corrected automatically, "and you can grab the money out of my purse." She turned her attention back to her parents. "What are you guys up to? You're not moving down here, are you?"

Emilio laughed. "God, no. I could never handle working in this city. I'm happy in our small town. Look at the bottom of the box."

Santana hadn't even looked further than the keys. She pulled a business card and frowned at the name.

"Griffin Hill Academy," she read. She looked up. " _Papi_ , this is a very upper-class private school. Are you planning on sending Bella there?"

"Well, that would be your decision, _mija_ ," Maribel replied, a huge grin taking over her face. "After all, you'll be working there."

"What?" Santana said in a loud voice, causing the people at the tables around them to look over in alarm. "Are you kidding me?" she said in a lower voice. She trained her eyes on her father and pointed at him with the card in her fingers. "I know you had something to do with this."

"Santanita, don't look at this as me using my connections to get you a job that you would've walked into with your eyes closed and one arm tied behind your back. Plus, I like breathing and you would have killed me had I done that."

"I'm confused," Santana stated, furrowing her brow.

"I got you an interview," Emilio replied. "I may have praised you a little, but Principal Henry DeCosta is expecting you on Friday morning at ten for an interview."

Santana blinked.

_Okay, can this day get any more surreal?_

"Pinch me, baby," Santana muttered. Bella obliged. "Ow! Thank you."

"Did you think you were dreaming?" Bella queried.

"I really did," Santana murmured.

Her parents chuckled. "Enough thank you's now," Emilio said seriously. "Your mother and I would like to ask you something."

"Anything," Santana breathed. "Seriously, after this you can have anything."

Maribel laughed. "You've worked nonstop for virtually five years and it's time you had a break. So, I spoke with Kurt and Rachel and they are taking you out tonight and Bella will come and spend the night with us."

Bella squealed in delight. "Oh, please, can I, Mommy? Please, please, please?"

"Doesn't sound like I have much of an option," Santana smirked, running a finger across Bella's forehead. "Of course you can, baby girl."

"Yes!" Bella said, doing a fist pump. "Are we going to a hotel?"

"We are, but I was thinking we could go and walk around Central Park first? I've always wanted to do that," Maribel suggested.

"Mommy and I do that every weekend," Bella said. "We have loads of fun."

Santana smiled. Everything in her life was absolutely perfect.

* * *

"You're kidding, right?"

Santana looked at Rachel incredulously.

"What?" Rachel asked innocently. "I may not own a dress that goes higher than four inches above my knee, but I know that _this_ ," she indicated the dress in her hand, "is very much your style."

"Well, yeah," Santana mused, fingering the green material. "But come on, Rachel. I haven't worn a dress like that in years!"

"Oh, please, don't be ridiculous," Kurt said, sounding bored from his spot on Santana's bed. "Put on the damn dress, slip into those killer heels of yours and let's get going. The New York night life waits for no one."

"Well, it's about to," Santana said seductively, winking at Rachel as she grabbed the dress and disappeared into the bathroom.

Ten minutes she opened the door and did a quick runway walk for Kurt and Rachel, swinging her hips and pouting her lips. She knew she looked hot. She didn't even have to look at her friends' expressions.

"Santana, I love you like a sister, and forgive me what I'm about to say, but if I were _any_ way interested in girls, I may turn straight for you," Kurt said with a hint of embarrassment in his voice.

"Aw, Kurtie, that's about the sweetest thing that you've ever said to me," Santana cooed. "In a really weird, uncomfortably sexual kind of way," she added with a frown.

"Ok, Santana's ready. I'm ready. Kurt's ready. All we need is FINN!" Rachel yelled for her husband.

"I'm ready,' Finn replied, appearing in the doorway.

His jaw dropped when he saw Santana and she smirked.

"Eyes up, Finnocence," she teased. "I'm pretty sure Berry looks just as smokin'. Well, maybe not _as_ smokin'." She laughed.

"I think we may have reawakened the monster," Kurt stage-whispered to Rachel.

"Oh, shut up," Santana teased. "I'm not drinking tonight. The last time I went out and drank, Bella happened. This time, I'm just going out to dance and have a good time."

"I support your sober habits, Santana, but we're going to be there the whole time keeping an eye on you. Finn is designated driver so feel free to have a few drinks. You don't need to go overboard, but I think you'll have more fun with a few in you," Kurt suggested.

"You're just saying that so that we can drink together and I won't make fun of drunk Berry," Santana teased Rachel.

"No one's getting drunk if we don't get going," Finn pointed out.

"Watch out, New York! Santana Lopez is coming your way!" Santana declared dramatically, getting a joint giggle from Kurt and Rachel.

* * *

"Britt, where you headed tonight?" Sara asked, putting the final touches on her make up.

"I'm not sure," Brittany replied, pulling a top down over her head and admiring the result in her mirror. "Luke told me about this new place on 7th that's supposed to be pretty awesome."

"How about I join you there after my shift?" Sara purred, slipping her arms around Brittany's waist.

Brittany frowned. "Sara, we've spoken about this. I don't want a relationship with you. The sex is fun and all, but I've just come back home and I need to find my feet."

Sara huffed and stepped away from the blonde. "So it's fine for you to fuck me every time you come back into the city, but I'm not good enough to be in a relationship with? That's fucked up, Brittany. We've been doing this dance for over six years."

Brittany sighed. "I know. That's how it is, though. And don't pretend you didn't know my views on the matter from the beginning because you did. I made myself very clear. No strings attached. Just sex."

Sara sighed and nodded. "Fine. I'll take what I can get, I guess. Let me know if you're still at the club and we can hook up after I finish work?"

Brittany nodded and pulled on her tight jeans.

"You look hot, Britt," Sara said approvingly. "Don't run off with some dark-haired hottie before I get there, okay?" she teased.

Brittany's lips lifted, but it wasn't a smile. It was more like a grimace.

 _No_.

She wasn't going down that road tonight. She was going to meet her dancer friends that she hadn't seen in months and she was going to have an awesome time. And if Sara was interesting enough and she hadn't found anyone else to fill the void by the end of the night, then some good sex might keep her mind far away from any dark-haired hotties. Or just one dark-haired hottie.

* * *

Santana roared with laughter as Rachel dribbled half the shot of tequila down her neck and onto her chest. She clutched Kurt as they pissed themselves laughing.

"It's not funny!" Rachel whined, gripping Finn's arm. "Baby, they're being mean."

"It's because they're tipsy," Finn soothed Rachel. "I still think you're amazing."

"Oh, God, get a room," Santana yelled. "Come on, Kurt. We're dancing."

Kurt allowed himself to be pulled onto the dance floor and swallowed up by the crowd. They danced together for a few songs, Santana getting more than a few offers to dance, but declining all of them. Kurt pulled her close.

"Why don't you dance with somebody?" he asked in her ear.

Santana froze involuntarily. She couldn't help it. Her body automatically reacted that way when a certain person popped into her memory. She remembered them dancing together on stage with confetti raining down around them.

_I wanna dance with somebody, with somebody who loves me._

"I'm here with you guys,' Santana replied, her voice a lot weaker than she wanted it to be. "I…I don't want to be around anyone else."

Kurt nodded, clearly pretending to understand and he and Santana continued to dance. Santana wasn't feeling the vibe very much anymore though and motioned that she was going to get a drink. She reached the table that Rachel and Finn were keeping occupied and downed the two remaining tequila shots on the table.

"Everything okay?" Rachel asked.

Santana nodded. "I'm just thirsty."

Rachel chuckled and shook her head. "You’re feeling good, though?"

Santana made a circle with her thumb and index finger and smiled, the tequila making its effect felt. She felt a strange sensation next to her breast and reached into her bra. It was then that she remembered she stored her phone there.

"It's my mother," Santana said with a frown. "I'm gonna take it outside."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Kurt asked.

Santana shook her head and pushed her way to the exit, answering the phone and telling her mother to hold on.

* * *

Brittany spun around and stopped mid spin, her gaze locking on a very familiar set of legs. Her eyes travelled upwards and she took a sharp breath in at the short green dress that hugged the very sexy ass of one Santana Lopez. She looked gorgeous, not that Brittany was surprised. She was pretty sure that it was physically impossible for Santana to look anything but drop dead beautiful. She watched as Santana pulled her phone out from her usual spot in her bra and pushed her way to the entrance.

Without thinking, Brittany followed her, ignoring the calls of her friends. She reached the door and looked around, looking for any sign of Santana. She heard a familiar laugh that set her heart beating a million miles a minute. Santana was leaning against the corner of the building, facing away from her, laughing into the phone.

Brittany inched closer, half hoping that Santana would turn around, but the other half screaming for her to stay facing away.

Santana was saying something in Spanish and it made Brittany's knees feel a little weak. Santana speaking Spanish was possibly the sexiest sound in the world. The way the words just rolled of her tongue, especially when they were-

"Hey, baby."

It was soft and tender and the words made Brittany freeze.

"Are you getting ready for bed?" Santana asked into the phone and Brittany could hear her smile. "I know, baby. I miss you too. But you'll be home tomorrow and then we can stay up _all_ night."

Brittany's throat constricted. How could she have been so stupid? Of _course_ Santana had someone. Besides the fact that it had been almost seven years, had Brittany honestly been naïve enough to think that someone as beautiful and smart as Santana Lopez would stay single for long?

"I love you, Bella," Santana said tenderly. "Sweet dreams, baby."

Brittany's eyes widened as Santana started to turn. She spun around and ducked back into the club in record time. She wove her way back to her friends, trying to shake the heartsore feeling in her chest.

* * *

"Did you just see what I saw?" Kurt asked Rachel in a low voice, his eyes following a familiar head of blonde hair.

"I did," Rachel said stonily.

"Things could get very difficult if she's back for good," Kurt mused. "Santana can't know."

Rachel nodded, her eyes not leaving Brittany, clearly shaken about something, on the dance floor.


	10. Chapter 10

It was fall and Santana was walking Bella to her first day of school. It was also _her_ first day of school – her interview with Griffin Hill Academy had gone very well and she was the new English Lit teacher at the prestigious private school.

"Mommy, your hands are all sweaty," Bella complained, jerking her hand out of her mother's and wiping it on her jacket with a grimace.

"Sorry, baby," Santana chuckled. "I guess I'm just nervous."

"It's just school, Mom," Bella stated, raising her eyebrows.

Santana looked down at her daughter, taking a moment to truly appreciate how alike they were. At least she'd know what to expect when Bella hit her teens. Major rebellion.

"I've never taught before, though," Santana admitted, threading her fingers together.

She and Bella had a complete open-door policy. No matter what was going on, they talked about it. Santana had a similar relationship with her mother and she cherished how close they'd become as a result.

"You'll do great, Mama," Bella said confidently, her smile washing away Santana's nerves. She loved how Bella called her Mama when she wanted to show affection. Normally it was Mommy or Mom when she was trying to act older than her six years.

"You think?" Santana asked.

"Of course," Bella replied firmly. "You love reading and you enjoy teaching. Plus, you've taught me loads."

Santana chuckled. "I think that's in my job description, baby girl. But thank you. Your support means the world to me."

Santana knelt down and hugged Bella tightly. When she moved to release her, Bella held on a little tighter and Santana smiled.

"I guess you can be my little girl for the next few blocks," Santana teased, picking her up.

Bella just smiled and rested her head on Santana's shoulder. They continued their walk through the crisp New York fall morning, Santana's arms securely wrapped around her daughter.

* * *

Brittany squinted at the light infiltrating the room and she pulled the pillow over her head, groaning.

"Some of us need to work today, Britt," Sara said matter-of-factly. "Come on, Jerry's expecting you at the studio in an hour."

"I'm still sick," Brittany mumbled.

"Oh, really? Not sick enough to nail me three times last night."

Brittany smirked to herself from underneath the pillow. That had been quite hot. Sara had just come back from her session at her own studio and Brittany couldn't resist.

"Come on, get your lazy ass up," Sara said, slapping said behind and eliciting a squeal from Brittany.

Brittany sighed dramatically and pushed back the sheets of her bed, getting up and walking to bathroom buck-naked. She smirked when the bathroom door opened and closed behind her and Sara assaulted her mouth. Nothing like a pick me up in the morning.

* * *

Santana looked around her classroom and smiled. It wasn't quite the feeling she'd been expecting; she'd been so worried that she would feel completely out of her depth and like an alien. But there she was, standing in her own classroom and she felt at peace, like she belonged there.

The faculty had been incredibly welcoming and friendly. Principal DeCosta had taken her on a tour of the vast grounds of the school – seriously, how did these people find this kind of property in New York? Everything and everyone was rapidly torpedoing her judgement of private schools and their snobbery.

"Miss Lopez!"

Santana looked up and smiled at Principal DeCosta.

"How was your first day?" he asked pleasantly.

"Great," Santana replied enthusiastically. "I can tell I'm really going to enjoy it here."

"Well, as I said in April, we are incredibly lucky to have stumbled upon you."

Santana laughed. "Nice try, but we both know the reason I got my interview."

"Maybe so," DeCosta conceded, chuckling, "but you got the job based on your skills and passion. I could tell then that you were going to be a fantastic addition to this school and faculty."

Santana blushed. "Thank you, Mr. DeCosta. That means a lot."

DeCosta waved a hand to brush away the praise. "Please, call me DC. Everyone does."

Santana smiled and nodded. Her phone buzzed and her eyes widened at the time.

"Crap!" she exclaimed, then winced when she remembered in whose company she was. "Um, sorry."

DC chuckled again. "Late for something?"

"Uh, yeah. It's my daughter's first day of school too. I told her I'd fetch her."

"Best you be off then," DC said, standing aside. "See you tomorrow, Miss Lopez."

"Thank you!" Santana rushed, grabbing her bag and half running out of the door. "Have a good afternoon, DC!"

Santana raced out the gates, waving and smiling at all the students who called out greetings. She jumped into the first cab she could find and gave the address of Bella's school.

Luckily, Bella's school was within a safe walking distance from their apartment, although she was forbidden from making the journey unless Santana, Kurt, Rachel or Finn were there to walk with her. Because it was Bella’s first day, Santana had promised that she'd be there and she never broke her promises, especially to Bella. Most days, because of the distance between Bella's school and her own, Kurt, Rachel or Finn would pick her up and take her to their apartment until Santana was done at her school. That was probably the only downside of Santana's new job – the extracurricular activities were big and all faculty members were expected to take part in some way or another.

That made Santana’s promise even more important – she didn't know when next she'd get the chance to pick her daughter up from school. The cabbie screeched to a halt and Santana frowned at his tactics when they were outside an elementary school. She handed him some money and quickly exited the car. She smiled when she saw that the kids had only just come out. She leaned next to the tree she'd told Bella she'd wait for her by and let her eyes scan the crowd of kids running out to meet their parents.

A familiar head of long jet-black hair caused Santana's smile to increase ten-fold as Bella bounded up to her excitedly.

"Mommy!" she squealed happily, jumping into Santana's waiting arms.

"Hey, baby girl," Santana greeted, squeezing Bella tightly. She set her down and took her hand. "Did you have a good first day?"

That was all the introduction that Bella needed to launch into a detailed account of her day. Santana just smiled and listened dutifully to her opinions about the teacher and other kids and playground.

Sure, her life may not be what she'd planned after high school, but she wouldn't change the feeling for the world.

* * *

Brittany redid her hair into a messy bun and squinted at herself in the massive mirror. She looked a mess. She'd had a full ten-hour day of classes and was exhausted. Brittany was the type of teacher who led by example, which meant that she danced pretty much non-stop all day. And Brittany danced with her whole body. Granted, she was in peak physical shape – her stint on _Dancing With The Stars_ had really toned her up with all the different dances they'd done, and Justin Timberlake's world tour had kept her in perfect condition.

If Brittany had to be truly honest, though, she was more exhausted because she was struggling to sleep. If the lack of sleep was a result of long stints of nakedness with Sara then she'd be okay, but the lack of sleeping had more to do with her mind than her body. Her brain just couldn't seem to let go of seeing and hearing Santana. It had been months ago, but Brittany couldn't seem to forget it. Or her head wasn't letting her forget it. Maybe it was her heart.

She frowned at her reflection. Sex with Sara tired her out enough to catch a few hours of sleep before Santana popped into her head and she was wide awake.

Oddly, Brittany thought that it was because she was having sex with Sara that was weighing on her guilty conscience or something and that's why she was having trouble sleeping. So she'd tried _not_ having sex with Sara, but that had only ended up making things worse. She couldn't sleep _and_ she was horny as hell. Not the best combination when she couldn't get Santana off her mind. Admittedly, there had been a few occasions where Brittany's hand had wandered into her pants with Santana's name on the tip of her tongue.

But Sara was starting to get clingy and living with her was becoming tedious. Brittany had gotten used to living on her own whilst on tour and on set. During her brief stopovers in New York, staying with Sara hadn't been an issue because it had only been for a few days at a time. She'd been staying there since she'd got back in April and she was itching for her own space.

Unfortunately, Sara was a very sensitive person…well, when she wasn't naked pushing Britt up against a wall. Brittany was scared that if she told her that she wanted to move out that she'd started crying or something ridiculous. Brittany didn't do well with hysterics. She never knew what to do. She'd only ever been able to deal with one hysterical woman and she was pretty sure _that_ wasn't going to be happening anytime soon.

Brittany sighed and rolled her eyes at her expression as she mulled through the thoughts running around in her head. Santana was happy. She heard it in her voice. And if she'd been able to see her face, she was pretty sure she would've seen that spark of love that Santana had when she'd looked at her once upon almost a decade ago.

She should just forget about her, about wanting to see her again or wanting to touch her again or…

"Stop it!" Brittany yelled at her reflection.

She immediately jumped away from the mirror and picked up the remote she'd discarded before her thoughts had taken over and pushed play. A strong up tempo beat pulsated throughout the studio and Brittany let herself get swept up in the music. She let it wash over her, pushing away thoughts of moving out, of Sara and especially of Santana.

* * *

A few days later, Brittany was making a breakfast smoothie in the kitchen and Sara walked in.

"Hey," Brittany greeted.

"Oh!" Sara sounded surprised. "I didn't think you'd be here."

Brittany looked at her in confusion. "I live here. And it's a Sunday."

"Of course," Sara said, putting on a big smile. "Um, how was your day?"

Brittany looked at the clock on the oven. "It's ten in the morning. I got up like an hour ago."

"Right," Sara said, starting to look uncomfortable.

"Okay, now you're starting to look like someone who forgot to lock the back gate and the big black goat of Christmas Past came in and ate all the rabbits."

"Um." Sara looked at her blankly.

"What's going on, Sara?"

Sara took a deep breath. "I've met someone."

"Okay."

Sara frowned at Brittany's casual response. "Just 'okay'?"

Brittany shrugged. "Um, I'm happy for you? I don't know what you want me to say, Sara. It's cool."

"You are something else," Sara muttered.

"I'm human," Brittany deadpanned. "Even though that one time aliens abducted me, they didn't take away any of my human parts, they just-"

" _Brittany_!"

She halted in her ramblings and looked at her friend in surprise.

"God, I don't understand you!" Sara said in exasperation. "Whatever fucked up relationship we have is just…it needs to stop. You're always in my head and I can't fucking focus anymore."

Brittany's brow furrowed in a tell-tale sign that she was completely lost. Normally she had a pretty good read on Sara, but now she was truly confused. Had she done something wrong?

"Sara, I don't-"

"Just shut up," Sara snapped. "You came back from JT's tour and things were great. Then all of a sudden you dry up on me and two months later we're back to being fuck buddies."

"I didn't think that was a problem," Brittany said cautiously. "It's how we've always been."

"Well, did it ever occur to you that maybe I wanted more?" Sara asked, her voice dropping an octave.

"Yes," Brittany replied. Sara's eyebrows shot up. So many people didn't understand her penchant for complete honesty.

"Didn't you?"

"No," Brittany replied. "You knew straight from the start, Sara. We've been over this so many times. You're a great friend and I love you and we have a great relationship, but-"

"You're not in love with me," Sara finished bitterly.

"No," Brittany replied softly.

Sara sighed. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I don't think you can love anyone other than her."

Brittany didn't say anything, purely because she'd just be confirming what Sara said. In fact, by saying nothing she achieved the same outcome.

"I think maybe you need to find another place to live," Sara said in a very calm and rational tone. She didn't want to be mean.

"I already have,"

Sara blinked. "Y-You have? Were you planning on mentioning this at some point?"

"I was trying to find the right time," Brittany explained. "I didn't want to hurt your feelings."

"I…I guess that doesn't really matter now," Sara said with a sense of finality. "Maybe it would be best if we both just moved on. Seven years of friendship plus whatever else was great, but I don't want that anymore."

With a shocking sense of clarity, Brittany realised that she didn't want that either.

* * *

"Mommy, hurry up!" Bella called impatiently. "We're going to be late!"

"Okay, okay, I'm here," Santana said, rushing out of her room. "And we won't be late. They can't start the show without the star." She winked at Bella who rolled her eyes in a very Santana-like fashion.

"Whatever, Mom."

"Hey, check that attitude, young lady. That's not how I raised you," Santana said firmly. She didn't often have to play disciplinarian, but Bella was her daughter and had most definitely inherited that cockiness that had made Santana so popular in high school.

Bella dropped her gaze in apology. "I wanna go now, though. I love glee night."

Santana smiled and opened the front door to their apartment, allowing Bella to race into the hall and push the button for the elevator. She locked the door behind her and chuckled at Bella’s impatience with the elevator.

Glee night was something contrived by none other than Rachel Berry. Duh. When Bella had been old enough to understand, she'd been curious about her mom and her friends and how they'd met. Thus came about the story of glee club. Bella thought that glee was the coolest thing on earth and had demanded performances from everyone then and there.

No one had complained and since then, at Rachel's suggestion, Santana and Bella met up with Kurt, Rachel and Finn once a month and had a karaoke night. Santana had to admit that she enjoyed it; she'd always enjoyed singing and seeing the way Bella’s face light up whenever she took to the mic was reason enough to continue to do it.

This month was Rachel and Finn's turn to host. Blaine had finally made his way to New York and although his relationship with Kurt had been on and off for the last few years, they were currently very much on and living together a few blocks from Rachel and Finn.

Santana loved how close they all were, both literally and figuratively. She treasured her New York family more than anything in the world and nights like this just reminded everyone of how far they'd truly come.

Rachel was a sensation on Broadway – as if there was ever a doubt. Finn's whole acting gig hadn't worked out like he'd planned, but he'd scored a job in a sports agency and was a junior agent in one of the biggest sports agencies in New York. Kurt had his own fashion line and was slowly starting to have his name mentioned in circles in Paris and Milan. He'd tried Broadway for a year, but the allure of New York fashion had swayed him more than he'd expected.

The lift opened and shook Santana from her trip down memory lane. She smiled as Bella started humming _Don't Stop Believing_.

* * *

Brittany's earphones were blaring loud music as she entered the lobby of her new apartment block. She'd moved in that week and had already made friends with the doorman, the maintenance guy and the mailwoman. She was also pretty sure that an Amazon delivery guy had demanded to deliver anything to that building in the hopes of seeing her because it was a scary coincidence how many times she saw him and he winked at her every single time.

She was definitely not interested so she ignored him.

Her new apartment was pretty cool. It was big and airy with a lot of space, which was fine with Brittany because she didn't like a lot of furniture anyway. She'd met a few of her neighbours who'd come across as relatively normal. No secret cults or anything like that.

Brittany waved at Noddy, the doorman and smiled. She was pretty sure his name was Oliver or something, but he was always nodding at people and his nose was red _all the time_.

Noddy nodded (duh) at her as she pushed the button for the elevator and waited, tapping her foot to the loud music.

* * *

"Baby, no matter how many times you push the button, it's not gonna go any faster," Santana chided.

"It's taking for _ever_ ," Bella said dramatically.

Santana laughed as the elevator doors opened.

* * *

Brittany glanced up at the lights. Both elevators were coming down at the same time. She stood to the right. For some strange reason – she couldn't even remember why – she always took the elevator on the right. Something about cars driving on the right side of the road, which meant the same had to happen with elevators, right? Brittany shrugged to herself and switched the song playing.

The right doors opened and she stepped into the empty compartment. The other elevator opened as she stepped in, but she ignored it. She was already in the thing.

* * *

Santana stepped out of the elevator and paused, frowning. There was a strange scent in the air that for some reason made her think of Brittany. Her train of thought was broken by Bella grabbing her hand and pulling her to the door.

"Have a good evening, Oliver!" she called to the doorman as Bella tried to dislocate her shoulder.

"You too, Miss Lopez," Oliver replied, nodding.

"Bye, Noddy!" Bella shouted as they exited the building.

Santana laughed heartily and Oliver just smiled.

* * *

Brittany put a hand out and stopped the elevator door from closing as a laugh permeated the loud music in her ears. She took out her earphones and stepped out of the elevator, looking around. The lobby was empty. The front door was swinging closed, so whomever it had been had obviously just left. Brittany frowned and stepped back into the elevator. There had been something very familiar about that laugh…


	11. Chapter 11

Kurt brushed a piece of imaginary lint off his designer jacket – his own design, of course – and trained his eyes on the entrance of Bella's school. It was his day to pick his favourite adopted niece and he had a day of exploration planned. For someone as young as Bella, she had an amazing eye for what she liked when it came to clothes. The majority of her wardrobe was a result of many an afternoon excursion together.

Kurt pulled his jacket around him tightly as a chilly breeze swept across the street.

"Kurt?"

He spun around at the familiar voice and pasted a smile on his face.

"Oh my God, Brittany! How are you?"

"Um, I'm doing great," Brittany said, frowning as she took in Kurt's surroundings. She leaned forward and engulfed him in a hug. Kurt reciprocated as little as he could without being so obviously rude. "How are you?"

"Fantastic," Kurt replied. "Um, so you're back?"

Brittany nodded and took a sip from her takeaway coffee. "Yeah, I'm back at my old studio. I've been back for a couple of months now, actually. Um, what have you been up to? Still on Broadway?"

"Oh God, no,” Kurt said, glancing behind him frantically. The last thing he needed was for Bella to come bounding up while he was talking to her mother's ex. "I'm a fashion designer. My label is doing really well."

"That's awesome," Brittany said with a genuine smile. "I always knew my unicorn would do great things."

Kurt couldn't stop the genuine smile that crossed his face. It was just so…Brittany. There was a reason everyone loved her.

_Wait. Focus. She broke Santana's heart. You're supposed to be mad at her. She doesn't seem very upset though. And she hasn't even asked about Santana. Maybe she's a lot colder than we gave her credit for._

"So what are you doing at an elementary school?' Brittany asked and her eyes widened. "Ohmigod, do you have a kid?"

"Uh, no," Kurt said determinedly. "I'm waiting for, uh, for a friend's kid. They had to work so…"

"Ah, that's so awesome. You'd be like the best gay uncle ever."

Kurt fought the smile this time and glanced at the school entrance. Thankfully there was still no sign of mini-Santana.

"Um, Kurt, have you-"

Brittany's question was cut off by her phone and breathed a sigh of relief, having a strong suspicion where Brittany's question was leading.

"Hello? Hi, Jerry. Yeah, I know. Yes. _I know_." Brittany sighed in frustration and waved a hasty goodbye to Kurt as she took off down the road past the entrance to the school. Kurt's eyes widened as he saw Bella descend the steps quickly and dodge Brittany as she chatted on her phone.

 _That could not possibly have been any closer_ , Kurt thought with relief.

"Hi, Kurt!" Bella said with a big smile as she hugged his waist. "Are we going shopping?"

Kurt smiled. "Definitely. I think you are in dire need of a new winter coat."

"Yes!" Bella cheered, clapping her hands.

Kurt took her hand and walked in the opposite direction that Brittany had disappeared. If Bella had appeared five seconds earlier, no amount of bullshitting could have masked which friend Bella belonged to.

* * *

Santana poured her third glass of wine and sighed. It had been a hellish week. She'd endured her first parent-teacher meetings and to say that private school parents were intense would be the understatement of the century. Every single one wanted Santana to _"personally make sure"_ that their little star did the best in her class.

Santana wanted to tell them that it was actually up to the students and not her, but she figured that kind of sarcastic honesty wouldn't help the situation. She did, however, make it a point to bring it up with the students. Luckily, Santana had a great relationship with her students. Yes, she was young and maybe that counted in her favour because it seemed like she could relate to them easier, but it had come at a price – some of the students had tried to make her life hell by trying to catch her out on her inexperience. Luckily, Santana knew exactly how to deal with obnoxious kids. She doubted that high school Santana would've approved of the poor insults she'd thrown out, but had she fully channelled high school Santana, she'd probably be out of a job. High school students were predictable – once put in their place by a superior being, they gave no more trouble and Santana's students respected that about her.

Santana giggled to herself. She was like the Griffin Hill Academy version of Holly Holliday. Okay, maybe she should hold off on the wine. The wine glasses were _really_ big. One glass was probably equivalent to two normal sized glasses.

"Santana, you're up!" Kurt called from the living room.

She emptied the bottle into her glass and sauntered back to her guests. It was her turn to host glee night.

"Okay, what song am I singing to show all you losers that I am the _undisputed_ talent in this room?" Santana said with a smirk.

Rachel's mouth dropped open in indignation and Kurt laughed.

"Well, seeing as how Blaine just regaled us with his Sectionals performance of _Hey, Soul Sister_ , I think it's only fair that you belt out one of your favourites."

"Oh, I'm all over this one," Santana said, grabbing the bedazzled mic from Rachel's hand.

"What’re you singing, Mommy?" Bella asked, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

"You'll see, baby," Santana winked. "You know it."

Bella clapped her hands and grinned.

* * *

Brittany was sitting on her window ledge looking at her partial view of the city with a glass of wine in her hand. She'd found the activity to be incredibly relaxing after a long week at the studio. Her boss, Jerry, the owner of the studio, had added another advanced class to her schedule, which meant that her days ran two hours longer than normal and she was more exhausted than she had been in a long time. He seemed to be pushing her really hard of late and she couldn't understand if she'd done something to make him feel like she wasn't pulling her weight.

She took a sip and leaned against the wide frame, a gust of wind carrying a familiar tune to her ears. Brittany closed her eyes and smiled, her head moving slightly from side to side as the familiar song was played a few stories below her.

 _Wait a second_.

Brittany's eyes flew open and she scrambled to put her wine glass down before she dropped it. She leaned out the window and strained her ears. Surely the universe wouldn't be _that_ twisted?

But sure enough, the notes of one of her favourite songs reached her ears again. It had only become one of her all-time favourites when a certain smoky-voiced goddess had sung it at Sectionals in their junior year and she'd danced around her.

_“Since I've come on home, well my body's been a mess and I've missed your ginger hair and the way you like to dress. Won't you come on over? Stop making a fool out of me. Why don't you come on over, Valerie?”_

There was _no_ doubt in Brittany's mind who the owner of the sultry voice belting out _Valerie_ was. That meant one of two things – Santana knew someone who lived in the same building as her or, and Brittany really hoped it was the latter, she actually lived in the same building.

* * *

The small audience applauded loudly as Santana took a bow and handed the mic back to Rachel with a satisfied smirk.

"Mommy, wow," Bella said with wide eyes.

Santana sat down next to her and relaxed into the couch with a smile. "Did you like that, baby?"

"It was so awesome," Bella gushed. "You like the bestest singer ever."

"I may have to challenge you on that, Bella," Rachel said, standing up and tapping Finn on the shoulder.

Santana laughed. "Give it up, Berry. She's biologically bound to like me best."

Rachel grinned, her friendly competition with Santana as fiery as ever. "We shall see. Finn?"

Rachel and Finn launched into _Faithfully_ , admittedly one of Santana's favourite duets that the two had ever done. Bella curled up next to her mother and Santana rested her head on hers.

"Mama?"

"Yeah, baby?"

Bella was quiet. Santana looked down to see a pensive look on her daughter's face.

"Bella, what is it?" Santana asked in worry.

"Rachel and Finn love each other, right?"

Santana smiled. "Of course they do. Very much."

"That's why they sing lots of songs to each other like that?" Bella said, pointing to Rachel and Finn gazing adoringly into each other's eyes as they sang the chorus.

"Yup."

"Were they like that in glee as well?"

"For the most part," Santana replied. "They fought for a bit so they weren't together then, but they always sang duets together."

"Oh." The pensive look was back.

"Baby girl, you know you gotta tell me what's going on in that head of yours," Santana said softly. "I'm not a mind reader."

She pulled Bella into her lap and wrapped her arms around her daughter's waist. Bella started playing with a strand of Santana's long hair. She just waited patiently as her daughter tried to come up with a way to explain her thoughts.

"Mama?" Bella looked up into Santana's eyes.

" _Si, mi amor_?"

"Did you have someone to sing songs with like Rachel and Finn?"

Santana froze. Where in the hell had _that_ question come from?

"Uh…um…" She took a deep breath and met her daughter's curious gaze. "I did, baby."

"You did?" Bella asked excitedly. "What happened?"

"Uh, well, we were very much in love, but one day we had a fight and she left and I haven't seen her since."

Bella frowned. "She left? Just like that?"

"Just like that," Kurt echoed, sitting down next to Santana and putting a comforting hand on her arm.

"Didn't she love you?" Bella persisted.

"She did," Santana replied, trying to keep her voice steady and willing the threatening tears away.

"Then why did she leave?"

"She chose to do something without me," Santana said, her voice breaking a little.

"Mama," Bella's voice was soft as she ran a finger across Santana's forehead. "I still love you."

"I know you do, baby girl," Santana said, letting the tears fall down as she grabbed her daughter and hugged her tightly. "I love you too, with all my heart."

Focusing her attention on Bella, Santana missed the exchange between Kurt and Rachel. Rachel shook her head subtly, knowing that Kurt was contemplating divulging the reappearance of a certain ex-girlfriend. Kurt nodded and continued to rub Santana's arm as she cried into her daughter's shoulder.

* * *

Brittany was surprised when everything went quiet after what sounded like Rachel and Finn sang _Faithfully_. She was glad that Santana had stayed friends with them after she left. She wouldn't have had anyone otherwise. For a brief second, Brittany thought back to earlier that day when she'd run into Kurt outside the school. He'd seemed quite uncomfortable, and Brittany supposed she could understand why. He only had Santana's side of the story and who knew what version of the story Santana had actually told.

A part of Brittany had always thought that Santana might even have gone back to Lima to be with her parents after the breakup. But Santana had way too much pride for that. She'd pushed to go to New York, against her parents' initial wishes. Actually, now that Brittany thought about it, Santana had only really pushed to go to New York after she'd received the job offer from Jerry.

Brittany's eyes widened and she put her hand over her mouth in horror. Oh God, what had she done? All this time, she'd been adamant that Santana had been so selfish, but Santana had made sure that _they_ could go to New York _together_. How could she have forgotten? Why hadn't Santana said anything during their fight? They were throwing accusations around left, right and centre. It would have been the perfect ammunition to use against Brittany.

_Unless she didn't want to hurt you anymore. Unless she'd already given up._

Brittany's eyesight blurred as tears welled up.

"Fuck," she said out loud in a strangled voice. "Santana, I'm so sorry."

Brittany dropped her head onto her knees and cried.

* * *

A few weeks later, Santana was humming to herself as she did the dishes. She and Bella had decided on an early supper in favour of a game of chess. Santana had been surprised at her daughter's aptitude for the game. Not many people had known how much she'd enjoyed it growing up, and frankly, her reputation at high school hadn't needed the extra boost towards loserdom. Glee club had done that enough.

Okay, she had to admit that joining glee had been the best thing she'd ever done up to that point in her life. She'd discovered a true passion for music and performing, she'd mustered up the courage to deal with her true feelings for Brittany and her sexuality and she'd won a national title. Pretty sweet deal considering once upon a time she'd thought the glee kids were the lowest of the low.

"Mom!"

"Bella!" Santana responded in the same whiny voice and smiled.

"Funny," Bella smirked, pulling herself onto a chair in the kitchen. "So, what are the stakes of tonight's game?"

"Hmmm," Santana mused as she dried a pot. "I think that if I win, which I totally will, then you are on bathroom duty for….a week."

"A week?" Bella asked in disbelief. "That's totally unfair."

Santana laughed. She knew that she wouldn't actually win. She seldom did. Most of the time it was because her daughter honest-to-God outsmarted her, but sometimes she did throw the game with a strategically terrible move.

"Okay, what if you win?" Santana asked.

"Do you really have to ask?" Bella said pointedly.

Santana chuckled. "Okay, well, think you could give your mother a hand here? The quicker we get done, the sooner I can beat you."

Bella snorted in disbelief and Santana laughed loudly. "How very ladylike of you, Isabella."

"I'm not a lady," Bella replied, packing the pots away. "I'm a girl."

"Indeed," Santana chuckled.

_Oh, the innocent humour of children. It reminds me of-_

Santana's smile dropped quickly from her face and she cleared her throat. She tried to distract herself by discussing the upcoming weekend's plans with her daughter.

* * *

"Hey, Oliver," Brittany said in a tired voice.

"Evening, Ms. Pierce," Oliver nodded. "You must be very tired."

"I am," Brittany replied, stifling a yawn. "Been pulling crazy hours at the studio."

"Well, I'm sure a nice hot bubble bath will make you feel loads better."

Brittany smiled. "Actually, that does sound amazing. Thanks, Noddy."

Oliver chuckled. Brittany walked to the elevators and pushed the button. She turned to the post boxes and checked her mail as she waited for the elevator to come back down from the top floor.

* * *

"How is it that you _always_ beat me?" Santana said in fake frustration, although Bella had beaten her for real this time.

"Maybe you gave me your brains when I was born," Bella suggested like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Santana chuckled. "That must be it." She sighed and pushed herself off the floor. "You want your normal flavour?"

"Yes, please," Bella said with a triumphant grin.

"Okay, while I'm gone you can tidy your room since you left it in a delightful state this afternoon." Santana leaned down and kissed Bella's head, smiling at her daughter’s groan. "Love you."

"Love you too!"

Santana pulled the door closed and locked it, glancing at the elevator. She ran and managed to hit the light before it passed her floor. She really didn't feel like waiting for the other elevator. The doors slid open and she stepped in, hitting the lobby button, humming to herself.

* * *

Brittany raised her eyebrow at the stupid flyers that somehow always ended up in her pile of mail. She took a stack and threw them in the bin next to the elevators as the doors opened. She stepped back to let the person in the elevator walk out and looked up, meeting the occupant's eyes.

* * *

Santana's breath caught in her throat. Those piercing blue eyes overrode her senses. She couldn't move, couldn't think; she could barely breathe.

* * *

Dark eyes captured Brittany and she couldn't look away, even if she wanted to, and she really didn't. She was there. She was right in front of her. And she was looking at her.

* * *

Santana tried to swallow, but it felt like the inside of her throat had starting sprouting cotton wool and everything was as dry as the desert. She saw that familiar look in Brittany's eyes, the one look that she'd missed more than any other look. Brittany was looking at her so tenderly with a small smile and Santana felt her heart kick into high gear.

* * *

Brittany couldn't help the smile that crossed her face. She was here! The woman that she'd loved for all her life was standing within touching distance. She could see that Santana was confused, but there was something else on her face. Brittany could still read her like a book, even after almost eight years. She wanted to touch Brittany too.

Brittany took a step forward and opened her mouth, only to be cut off by the most annoying sound in the world to her at that moment.

"What?" she snapped into her phone, her eyes not leaving Santana's, but it was too late. The spell had been broken.

"Hey."

"Sara?" Brittany asked incredulously. God, the universe had some fucked-up sense of humour.

"Um, could you come over? I just really need you."

Brittany closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. This wasn't happening.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Brittany opened her eyes and her face fell. Santana was gone.


	12. Chapter 12

Santana bolted. As soon as Brittany closed her eyes, she ran for the door and didn't stop running until she'd rounded three blocks. She stopped and leaned against the wall, peering around the wall to see if Brittany had followed her. No sign of her.

_What. The. Fuck._

She was back in New York? And she was living in the same apartment building? Did the universe have some crazy twisted sense of humour? Why was this happening _now_? Things were good. Bella was loving school, Santana's job was going great and she'd finally managed to start saving some money from her paycheck for Bella's college fund.

_Sure, karma, come right on it and fuck it up a little more. Clearly my life isn't meant to be good. It's just there as a fucking amusement park._

Santana sighed, trying to quell the conflicting emotions of anger and sadness swirling inside her.

 _Focus_.

_Bella. Ice-cream. She beat you at chess. Bella. Your daughter. She's waiting for you._

_Crap_.

Santana walked to the store close to her apartment building and bought Bella's ice-cream, walking home as quickly as she could. With every step she prayed that there wouldn't be someone waiting for her in the lobby. She couldn't afford not to go home. Bella was there alone and was waiting for her.

She approached the front door and peered in through the glass, but it looked empty. She took a deep breath and opened the door, walking through the lobby quickly, sending a nervous smile to Oliver.

She pushed the button for the elevator and was thankful that one was already waiting on the ground floor and it was empty. She got back to her apartment without any surprises.

"Hi, Mommy!" Bella sang as Santana closed the door behind her. "My room’s all clean and I’m ready for bed…what's wrong?"

Santana blinked. "What makes you think something's wrong?"

Bella pointed to the ice cream in her mother's hand. "You only got one."

Santana looked down. It was an unspoken tradition: When Bella won at chess, her reward was ice cream, but she insisted that Santana also get ice cream, so it was like they both won. Santana had been so lost in her own world that she'd only got ice cream for Bella.

"Oh. That's okay, baby. I don't feel like ice cream."

Bella frowned and walked up to her mother, taking her hand and leading the zombied Santana to the couch and sitting her down. She sat opposite her on the coffee table.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" she asked, her brow furrowing in concern.

Santana met her daughter's worried gaze. She knew that anything out of routine for her set off alarms in Bella's head, mostly because it rarely happened. Santana was a creature of habit and any deviation from that was almost always due to something troubling.

She stood up and went to the kitchen, grabbing a spoon. She went back to the couch and handed Bella the ice cream and spoon. Bella frowned, but took them and started eating, still looking at her mother expectantly.

Santana's fingers started twisting around each other in nervousness. How did she explain the effect that seeing Brittany had on her when she didn't even understand it? Her daughter was only six, for Christ's sake.

"Want some?" Bella offered.

Santana smiled and took a mouthful of ice cream. As she let the cold substance roll around her mouth, she tried to sort out her words.

"Bella," she began after swallowing. Her daughter looked up, getting her full attention. "You remember when you asked me if I had anyone to sing with in high school?"

Bella nodded. "You said she left."

"She did. Uh, we never really kept in touch so I didn't know where she was or what she was doing." Santana looked down, her heart starting to speed up as she remembered locking eyes with her soulmate after so long. She hadn't expected the immediate longing to pull Brittany into a tight embrace and never let her go. "I saw her. When I went to get ice cream."

"You did?"

"Yeah, uh. It was really weird and awkward and I wasn't expecting it at all. I didn't know what to do."

"You didn't say anything?" Bella asked. "Did you say hello?"

"I…couldn't," Santana admitted. "I…got scared. I was so scared."

"But Mommy, you're not scared of anything," Bella said with a sense of pride.

"Oh, baby, I'm scared of so much," Santana replied quickly, fighting the tears. "I'm scared of you getting hurt, I'm scared of not being there when you need me, I'm scared of something happening to my parents or my friends, I'm scared that my students are going to hate me, I'm scared-" she broke off as tears started to escape. "I'm _so_ scared of still being in love with her."

"Why?" Bella asked softly.

"Because she hurt me when she left," Santana sobbed. "She's my soulmate. She's my perfect match in _every_ way and she left me and I was broken. I…" She broke off again and dropped her head onto her knees and shook with quiet sobs.

The space next to her dipped and small hands wrapped around her, not quite reaching because Bella was still quite small.

"I want to help you, Mommy, but I don't know what to do. I don't really understand all of this."

"I know, baby," Santana said in a thick voice. "I didn't mean to just dump everything on you." She took a shaky breath. "I have no idea what to do myself."

"Maybe you should call Kurt and Rachel?" Bella suggested.

"Yeah, maybe you're right," Santana whispered, wiping her eyes. She turned to her daughter and smiled. "Have I told you how amazing you are and how much I love you?"

Bella giggled, despite herself. "Not today."

"Well, Isabella Lopez, you are the most amazingly awesometastic little girl that any mother would dream of having-"

"But I'm all yours," Bella interjected proudly.

"That you are, and I wouldn't have it any other way," Santana said, running her finger across Bella's forehead tenderly.

Her daughter smiled and returned the gesture. Santana pulled her into a hug and they just stayed like that for a while until Santana could breathe like a normal person again.

"Okay, I think you should go to bed, baby girl," she said. "I'm gonna call Rachel and Kurt, but I promise we'll be quiet."

"But are you going to be okay?" Bella asked, the adorable look of concern crossing her face again.

"I don't know, but I'm gonna do my best to try."

"Okay," Bella said quietly. "Mama?"

"Yes, baby girl?"

"Could I sleep with you tonight?"

Santana smiled tenderly and held out her hand. "Come on, let's go and tuck you in."

* * *

Santana walked to the door as soon as a timid knock was heard.

"Hey, Rach," she said tiredly as the small diva walked into the apartment.

"Santana, what happened? You didn't say anything on the phone and I was worrying myself sick!" Rachel said in a high-pitched squeak. "Is Bella okay? Did something happen?"

"Relax, Berry," Santana said softly, glancing over to her open door and quickly walking over to pull it closed. "Bella's fine. I called you here because I saw Brittany."

Rachel's jaw dropped and she collapsed onto the couch behind her. "You saw her?"

"Yeah." Santana ran her fingers through her hair and sat down next to Rachel. "She was waiting for the elevator when I went down."

"She…she _lives_ here?"

Santana shrugged. "I'm assuming so. We didn't really…talk."

Rachel frowned. "You didn't talk?"

Santana smirked, despite her current inner turmoil. "Are you planning on playing the role of a parrot, Berry? You seem to have the mimicking down."

"I'm sorry, Santana," Rachel said, letting her snarky comment slide. "Are you okay?"

Santana shrugged. "I'm not sure. Obviously, I wasn't expecting to see her, so there was that shock, but I definitely wasn't expecting to want to hug her and kiss her."

"What?"

Santana let out a humourless chuckle. "I know, right? How fucked up is that?"

"Well, it's not really," Rachel reasoned. "Brittany was your great love in high school. It's understandable to still have _some_ sort of feelings for her."

"That's kind of the problem I'm facing here," Santana said slowly. "I don't think that they're just _some_ sort of feelings. I'm seriously freaking out about the fact that I think I may still be in love with her."

Rachel fell back against the sofa. "You can't be serious."

Santana shrugged again. "Do you think I want to feel like this? I don't want to want her. I'd be better off forgetting about her completely."

"You should, considering how she left things."

Santana sighed. "Yes, she left. And it sucked."

"It _sucked_?" Rachel said incredulously. "Santana, you can't possibly be so cavalier about what she did. We were honestly scared for your life. You weren't eating, you hardly slept, you cried all the time-"

"I know," Santana interrupted quietly, holding up a hand. "I was there, remember?"

Rachel sighed and sidled up right next to her friend. "Santana, I love you. You've become my best friend and I know that we probably would never have developed this relationship if it hadn't been for Brittany's insistence that we hang out all the time. I suppose that's one thing I can thank her for. But she broke your heart and I can't sit idly by and let you just forgive what she did like it was nothing."

"It wasn't nothing," Santana snapped. "Jesus, Rachel. I know what happened. I know how I felt and I know that I've blamed her for the last seven and a half years because I'm too much of a coward to accept that I'm the one responsible for her leaving."

"No, you're just trying to come up with a justification for still loving her," Rachel said.

"No." The word was strong, but Santana's face looked resigned. She dropped her head. "I have something to confess. Kurt should probably be here for this too, especially considering he was the one that found me, but he didn't answer his phone when I called."

"He's at a show with Blaine," Rachel said quietly.

Santana took a deep breath. "The night that Brittany and I broke up, she came home and told me that she was going on tour for a year. She didn't ask my opinion or discuss it with me, she just _told_ me. And she just expected me to accept it and move forward. I felt completely blindsided and did what I always do, lashed out. I told her that she was being selfish-"

"Well, she was."

Santana glared at her.

"Sorry," Rachel mumbled.

"I told her that she was being selfish and she told me that she couldn't not take the opportunity, that if she'd let it pass that she'd always regret it."

"Santana, you told us this already," Rachel reminded her quietly.

"I know," Santana sighed. "I left out the part where I told her that it was either me or the tour."

Rachel's mouth dropped. "You didn't. You gave her an ultimatum?"

Santana nodded sadly. "If I had to regret anything in my life, it would be saying that one sentence. We could've made the long-distance work, but I was just so mad and so hurt that I said the worst thing that I could to make her feel as hurt as I did."

"Oh, Santana."

"This whole mess is just so fucked up."

"That's why you were so broken, that's why you didn't want to do anything," Rachel mused quietly. "You blamed yourself."

Santana nodded. "I tried to contact her around Bella's first birthday, but her number was disconnected and her parents never answered when I tried calling them."

"Oh my God," Rachel whispered.

"As much as I hate what happened, both of us were to blame, not just Brittany, and I can't undo that." Santana sighed. "And if none of that had happened, I wouldn't have the most amazing daughter. And no matter how guilty I feel about what I said to Brittany, I can't imagine my life without Bella."

Rachel nodded. "What are you going to do now? You know she's here and she's back for good."

"Well, I don't know that," Santana replied. "I didn't even say anything to her. I was so surprised that we just looked at each other until she got a phone call. As soon as her attention was diverted, I bolted."

"Oh," Rachel said softly, looking down.

"You know something," Santana said immediately, narrowing her eyes. "I swear to God, Berry, you'd better spill before I go all Lima Heights on your ass."

"Don't hate me, please!" Rachel pleaded. "We thought-"

" _We_?"

"Yes, Kurt and I."

"Wait a second, you and Porcelain both knew something about Brittany and didn't think to mention it to me?"

"Well, we thought that it would a bad idea considering how we'd _thought_ things had ended with you and her," Rachel protested.

Santana sighed in resignation. "Fair enough. Proceed."

"We saw her for the first time-"

" _First_ time?"

"Santana, please."

"Fine."

"The night of Bella's birthday when your parents took her for the night and we went out, Kurt and I saw her in the same club we were at. I think she knew you were there. She came rushing in just before you after you'd spoken to your mom."

"This is so bizarre," Santana said herself, rubbing her temples.

"Kurt saw her again a few weeks ago when he was waiting for Bella."

"What?" It came out as a squeak.

"Relax, Brittany didn't see Bella. She happened to be walking past and she and Kurt had a quick conversation until Jerry phoned her."

"Jerry? As in her old boss from the studio?"

Rachel shrugged. "I'm assuming so. She did mention to Kurt that she was back there."

"I suppose it was only a matter of time before we ran into each other, then," Santana muttered. "God, what am I going to do?"

"May I make a suggestion?"

"Please."

"Don't rush into anything. It's been over seven years and both of you have been through a lot and probably changed as a result. I'm not saying that you could never be friends or anything but jumping back to how things used to be between you two would be ill-advised."

"I don't think I could do that even if I tried. Brittany and I could never go back to how things used to be. Even if we ever decide to give our relationship another chance, it won't be the same. Broken hearts don't just disappear and both of us were broken."

"You still tried to reach out and help with the mending, though," Rachel reminded her. "She didn't return the gesture."

"Because I told her I hated her and didn't want to see her ever again," Santana said quietly. "I'm pretty sure that was clear enough to her that I didn't want her to contact me."

"Even though you did."

"Even though I did," Santana agreed.

"Look, Santana, I can't tell you what to do or how to feel because I honestly have no idea what you're going through, but I really think that you need to be _very_ careful about how things progress from here. Just remember, Brittany may not even want to patch things up."

"She does," Santana said quietly. "I know she does. Seven years can't erase how well we still know each other. I saw the look in her eyes and when she smiled at me…"

"Okay, look. I'm still on your side here, even though I now have a clearer understanding of what happened seven years ago. If you'd like, I can see if I can feel Brittany out, see where she stands?"

Santana smiled and shook her head. "Thanks, Rachel, but I think that this is a mess that I need to find a way to fix."

Rachel nodded and pulled Santana down to rest her head on her lap.

* * *

Brittany had been pacing around her apartment for the better part of two hours. She couldn't sit still, too wired from her unexpected run in with Santana.

She had never been so rude to Sara in her life and she was pretty sure that she was never going to talk to her again. If it meant that she wouldn't get any more inopportune phone calls when face to face with Santana, then Brittany had no problem with that.

As soon as she'd killed the conversation with Sara, she'd run outside, but Santana had disappeared. She'd contemplated waiting for her to come back, but she didn't even know if she _was_ coming back. Maybe she'd been on her way out to meet Kurt or Rachel or _Bella_.

Brittany gritted her teeth. Never had she despised a name so much in her life. She knew she was jealous. She didn't even try to deny it. The Bella woman was getting _everything_ that she'd had with the most perfect specimen of the human form. And it sucked.

Brittany had begrudgingly gone up to her apartment and taken a long shower. It had made her feel a little better, but now she was just restless. She felt like she needed to see Santana and talk to her and apologise, but would it even make a difference? She was with someone that she loved. Did Brittany really have the right to go and upend her life with their history? Was it fair to the Bella woman?

She sighed and went to the window. It was getting colder as winter approached and Brittany went to pull the large window down when she heard the soft voice.

She didn't need to think twice to recognise the singer, but when she heard which song Santana was singing, her heart almost broke again.

It was their song. _Their_ song. The song that Santana had sung to her to cheer her up after she'd broken up with Artie, the song that truly showcased her love.

And she wasn't singing it to Brittany.

Santana had a certain thing about music; it always symbolised something for her. She wasn't the type of person to just sing for the sake of singing. Every song was chosen for a specific reason. She also attributed feelings and people to different songs. If she was trying to deal with something painful, she'd link the feeling to a song and store that pain away with the song so that she didn't have to feel that pain again.

When her grandmother had rejected her, Santana had started listening to _Dance With My Father_ over and over again until one day, about a month after her conversation with her Abuela, Santana had deleted the song from her playlist and never listened to it again.

And there she was, singing _Songbird_ like everything was okay. Brittany let a tear run down her cheek. This song symbolised their love for each other and if Brittany knew Santana like she did, and she _did_ know her, that song would have been stored away like _Dance With My Father_. The fact that she was singing it with the same emotion that she used to with Brittany told her one thing: Santana loved Bella as much as she'd loved Brittany, maybe even more. She loved her enough to sing the most personal song in her repertoire and let go of the pain previously linked to it.

It told Brittany one very clear thing: Santana had moved on. She didn't love Brittany anymore, no matter what her eyes might have said when they'd run into each other.

The sooner Brittany realised that Santana would never be hers again, the better off they'd both be. She just wished that it didn't feel like her heart was breaking again.


	13. Chapter 13

It had been two weeks since Brittany had seen Santana. She hadn't tried to find her or go out of her way to 'accidentally' bump into her in the lobby. She'd resigned that Santana was obviously happy and that her feelings would have to remain unrequited. It sucked, though. Brittany missed her terribly and knowing how close she truly was only made her yearning that much more intense.

She focused all her energy on her work. Jerry still hadn't eased up on her; in fact, he'd added more to her workload, demanding that she train a new dance instructor. That added an extra hour to Brittany's already gruelling ten-hour day. The way she felt when she wasn't dancing, though, made the extra training worth it. What Brittany didn't get though, was that if Jerry was making her train a new instructor then why was her workload still so huge? The new instructor, Max, could totally take some of the beginner classes.

Brittany was the most advanced dancer and by far the most experienced at Jerry's studio. She supposed that she should be flattered that he was giving her so many responsibilities, but regardless of Brittany's physical fitness, she was really worried that the continuous stress on her body could result in an injury and _that_ scared her more than anything. What would she do without dance?

She received a message to meet Jerry in his office during her lunch break and Brittany vowed to bring up her concerns and not allow her boss to walk all over her anymore. After all, with her expertise, she could get a job at pretty much any studio - it's not like she hadn't had offers. She'd come back to Jerry because he'd helped her get started and she believed in loyalty.

Well…with most things.

"Britt," Jerry greeted, ushering the blonde in. "Sit. You want anything? Coffee? Water? Whiskey?"

Brittany made a face at the last suggestion. "Water, please."

Jerry handed her a bottle a settled back into his chair, smiling at her. Brittany took a swig of water and watched him watch her. His smug look started to make her uncomfortable and she began to fidget. She felt like she was in the principal's office.

_Get a grip! You're a grown woman! Take initiative._

"Did you want me for something in particular, Jerry?"

"You've met my son, right?" Jerry said, leaning forward.

"Terence? Yeah, a few times."

"Well, he goes to a private school on the Upper West Side."

"Um, awesome." What the hell did any of this have to do with her?

"I know that I've been working you especially hard these last few months, but I have a reason."

Brittany stared at him in anticipation. God, the man was insufferable. Too many damn cop shows.

"And?" she eventually pressed.

"I added the extra classes to try and make some more money to invest in a new project. Terry has mentioned to me on several occasions that he feels his school needs to have a dance studio. The music and theatre programme there isn't the best and he feels that the students would really welcome something as fresh as a dance studio."

"Okay," Brittany said slowly. If Jerry was going to ask her to run the dance studio at Terry's school, he was taking a hell of a long time to ask it.

"Logistics still need to be finalised with the school board, but I want to know from you if you'd be willing to step up as the instructor at the school? Your hours would be less than what you're working now, but I'll still pay you the same. Max would take your place here."

"Awesome," Brittany said, shrugging. Money wasn't an issue. She still got to teach and dance. "When do you need me to start?"

"Well, the studio hasn't been built yet, but I can take you on a tour of where it would be and you can meet the principal and some of the faculty?"

"That's okay," Brittany dismissed. "I'll just meet everyone when I start."

"Oh, okay. Um, if the plans are approved this week, which I hope for them to be, I've got a contractor who can get it done in two weeks."

"So three weeks, then?" Brittany calculated. "I just need to know how much time I have to teach Max what he needs to know to take over my advanced classes."

"Oh, well, yes then that would be accurate."

"Okay," Brittany said with a smile and stood. She paused at the look of confusion on Jerry's face. "Was there something else?"

"No, not really. I just…" he trailed off and went a little red.

"Spit it out, Jerry."

"You've been here for so long that I'd like to think I know you a little bit. You agreed to the new job so quickly. Don't you need to think it over?"

Brittany shrugged. "It's just me, so no, not really."

Jerry paused. "Are you okay, Britt?"

"Sure," Brittany replied in a monotone. "A change of scenery can always be good."

* * *

Those three weeks flew by faster than Brittany had expected. She'd walked past the school a few times and been impressed with its sheer size. The students seemed to be quite friendly as well. She'd asked a few of them about the theatre and music programmes, but they didn't really have much to say which only really confirmed what Jerry had told her.

She'd met the principal. He was nice enough, a little weird, but she'd had to deal with Figgins in high school, so this guy was cake. The dance studio was magnificent. Brittany had been surprised at how the school had managed to find the space in their already crammed property for such an expansive studio. It had been put next to the auditorium and the music rooms. Brittany had always been fascinated by the strange noises that came out of music rooms.

The instruments that the jazz guys played when she was in glee always sounded awesome, but when she walked past the music rooms, it sounded like Lord Tubbington when he got an upset stomach.

Now here she was on her first day teaching dance in a super fancy private school and from what the principal had told her, loads of students had already signed up for her classes. Brittany was pretty sure that the stories of her accomplishments had made the rounds and that was the motivation for the high interest.

"Miss Pierce!"

"Morning, boss," Brittany said with a grin. "Did you enjoy the game last night?"

"Oh, what a cracker," the principal said enthusiastically. "It's a pity there's not more interest in curling."

"It is a shame," Brittany agreed.

"So, are you ready for your first day?"

Brittany grinned. "Oh yeah. I'm super amped."

"Fantastic. I think we have time to introduce you to the entire faculty before the day starts," the principal said, leading the way, chatting animatedly about the curling game.

* * *

Santana took the steps up the school two at a time. Bella had fallen back asleep after she'd woken her up and as a result, they had left twenty minutes later than normal. Santana had never been late to Griffin Hill and she didn't want to tarnish her perfect record.

She jogged towards the faculty lounge to sign in and glanced at her watch. She slowed her pace when she saw that she still had five minutes. She tried to calm her breathing as she stood outside the faculty lounge. Once she was sure she wouldn't look like she'd just run a marathon, Santana opened the door and slipped in towards the back. There was some kind of meeting and Santana cursed herself for missing it.

"We're very lucky to have someone so talented in our midst and I'm sure she'll only bring more prestige to Griffin Hill," DC was saying as Santana quickly signed in.

"Let's give a warm welcome to Brittany Pierce!"

Santana froze as she stood up, her eyes flying to the front of the room where DC was standing next to Brittany. Her Brittany. Dammit. Not her Brittany. Argh. What the hell?

* * *

Brittany smiled around the room at her new colleagues, but her eyes locked onto a familiar of dark eyes. The smile slowly dropped from her face. Seriously? She was here too? Did the universe hate her that much that she had to be tortured with Santana's presence at the same school as well in the same apartment building?

Their gaze broke when someone stood in front of her and introduced himself. The natural and friendly smile returned to her face as she made her rounds, trying desperately not to look for Santana.

* * *

Santana fled for the safety of her classroom. Clearly the universe was trying to tell her something, but Brittany had looked at her very differently than when they'd met at the elevator. She looked…hurt. And sad.

Santana sighed and flopped into her chair, running a hand through her hair. She supposed it was only a matter of time. Brittany had just been surprised the first time they'd seen each other, that's why she'd smiled. Now she remembered how mean Santana had been and she didn't want to talk to her. And honestly, Santana couldn't blame her. They would inevitably have to speak at some point, especially since they now worked at the same school (again – What. The. Fuck).

She picked up her phone and sent texts to Rachel and Kurt, informing them of her new colleague. It wasn't long before she'd received replies of encouragement and concern. It made Santana smile. Only one other person could make her day better. She quickly sent a text to Rachel and told her that she was going to fetch Bella as a surprise. She definitely did not want to be around after school in case Brittany came looking for her. Not that she would.

Crap. What was she going to say when they eventually did come face-to-face again? Or would she just bolt like she planned to do after school?

Santana was shaken from her inner turmoil as the first bell rang and her homeroom started trailing in, greeting her as they walked to their seats. All she needed to do was get though the first day and then she could focus on the next day.

Bottom line was that Santana was absolutely terrified of talking to Brittany, the girl she'd known pretty much her whole life, who knew (or had known) all her deepest, darkest secrets, and who'd kept her heart safe the moment they'd shared their first kiss at the age of thirteen.

"Miss Lopez?"

"Yes, Jeremy?"

"Do you know what the new dance teacher is like? There are stories flying around that she toured with Madonna and Justin Timberlake."

"I heard she was one of the professionals on _Dancing With The Stars_ ," one of her other students added.

Santana felt faint. It was clear that she had no idea about Brittany's life and she shouldn't feel the need to. They were colleagues and they weren't going to be anything more than that. The sooner she realised that, the easier the transition would be.

She cleared her throat. "Well, one thing I do know for sure is that she danced on Rihanna's world tour a few years ago."

There was a chorus of impressive remarks and Santana just focused on her lessons for the day, hoping it would fly by.

* * *

Brittany's first day went by in a kind of blur. She wasn't used to a school timetable and had no time between classes to get ready. The classes just flowed into each other and were only an hour long, which didn't allow for her to actually accomplish anything constructive. By the time everyone had come in, settled down and stretched, more than half the hour had gone.

By the time lunch came around, Brittany was ready to tear her hair out. She spent her lunch in the studio, pouring over the school's timetable, trying to find a way to make her schedule easier.

After her last class departed, Brittany wasn't sure if she could call the day a success or not. The students had definitely seemed enthusiastic, which was a plus, but she hadn't really had a chance to determine what level any of the students were at. The class sizes were fine – that was something she'd been adamant about. No more than sixteen per class.

Brittany wanted so badly for dancing to become a big part of the school, especially considering the dwindling arts portfolio. A rogue thought entered her mind and she wondered if Santana was involved with the arts at all, perhaps the music programme? She shook her head. She couldn't think like that. Yes, she and Santana were at the same school, but they would be colleagues and nothing more. Santana was with Bella and Brittany would not cause her any more pain. She would just have to be professional, even if it killed her.

She grabbed the timetable and walked to DC's office, glancing down the hall before she knocked on his door. Her knuckle rested on the glass pane as she saw Santana walking down the hall, discussing something with a student. She laughed and Brittany felt her heart flutter. She closed her eyes and knocked quickly on the office door.

"Come in!" the cheerful reply came.

Brittany turned the handle and chanced one more look at Santana and saw her meet her gaze. Time stood still for a few seconds before Brittany broke it and walked into DC's office.

"Heya, boss," she greeted, shaking off the effect the Santana still obviously had on her.

"Miss Pierce!"

"Brittany, please. I feel so old when people call me Miss Pierce."

"Okay, Brittany, but I must insist that your students still call you Miss Pierce." DC said seriously.

Brittany nodded. "They do. I understand that need for boundaries and respect and stuff."

"Excellent," DC said with a grin. "What did you want to chat about?"

"Well, I was going over the timetable and I have to say, based on what happened today, that one-hour sessions aren't going to be enough. By the time the students come to the studio, get themselves sorted out and stretched properly, it's almost time for them to leave again. I need two-hour sessions if I'm going to make any kind of progress with dancing at this school."

DC was quiet as he leaned back in his chair and looked behind Brittany thoughtfully. Brittany turned around, curious to see what he was staring at, but it was just his door.

"I'll have to chat to the administration, but if you feel as strongly about it as you seem to, then I'll make sure the change happens."

"Thank you, DC. That's so awesome of you."

DC chuckled. "Oh, Brittany, I hope this won't affect your number of classes though. I wasn't joking when I said that your class was popular. It's not every day that we get a celebrity to teach here."

"Who?" Brittany asked.

DC looked at her in confusion. "You."

"I'm not a celebrity," Brittany said. "I'm just a dancer. I thought you meant someone like Oprah or David Hasselhoff."

DC laughed and Brittany grinned. Even though she knew she had an odd way of thinking, it made her happy that people thought she was funny. Santana was one of the few that really got her though.

_Shit!_

Brittany shook her head. Why did Santana end up in her thoughts so much? It was going to drive her crazy. Unless she got a little closure…

"DC, I have a question and it may be a little personal, so just tell me if I'm crossing a line."

The principal indicated for her to continue.

"I think that I may have gone to school with one of the other teachers here, uh, Santana?"

"Oh, yes! Santana Lopez, one of our brightest and most popular young teachers," DC said enthusiastically. "We caught a break when we found her."

"What does she teach?" Brittany asked, hoping she sounded casual.

"English Literature. She takes most of the classes and does pretty much all the planning. Mr. Fuller doesn't mind though. I think he's relieved that he doesn't have to do it himself anymore."

Brittany chuckled along with the principal. That sounded very like Santana – take on more work so that she can ensure that it gets done properly.

"Have you met Bella?" DC asked suddenly.

Brittany's throat dried. "Uh, n-no, I haven't had the pleasure."

"Oh, you'll love her. Everyone does. She and Santana are so cute together."

"I'll bet," Brittany said through gritted teeth.

_Never mind that I can’t escape Santana, but now I have to deal with everyone loving Santana's perfect frigging girlfriend?_

"Have you-" Brittany began, but was cut off by DC's phone ringing.

He held up a finger and answered. By the tone of the conversation, Brittany decided that perhaps it was her time to depart. She waved a hand in thanks and DC gave her a thumbs up.

Once on the other side of DC's office, Brittany leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. Why did everything have to be so damn complicated? Why couldn't she just walk into Santana's classroom and talk to her?

_Because you still love her and you know that she'll be able to tell right away. And then you'll have to stand and hear her tell you how she has someone else and can't be with you._

Brittany took a deep breath and pushed off the wall, jogging to her studio. She needed to lose herself for an hour or two in a place where Santana couldn't reach her.

* * *

Santana grinned when she saw her daughter's ecstatic but surprised look.

"Mommy!" she screamed in excitement, running into her mother's waiting arms. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd surprise you," Santana said with a smile, tucking a loose strand of dark hair behind Bella's ear.

"Best surprise ever," her daughter declared, gripping her hand tightly. "What are we going to do?"

"Hmmm, what do _you_ feel like doing, baby?" Santana asked, smiling at the feeling of absolute contentment she had when she was with Bella. That was what was important.

"Could we go and feed the ducks?" Bella asked eagerly. "We haven't done that in ages!"

Santana tried desperately to ignore the reminder of Brittany's favourite pastime. Well, other than their bedroom activities.

_Shit! Stop it!_

"Um, sure, baby girl. Let's go and get some breadcrumbs for them. I hope it's not too cold. They might be hiding away already."

"That's hibernation, right?" Bella said, using one of new words proudly.

"Close," Santana replied with a smile. "Birds don't hibernate. They migrate. But there are other animals that go into hibernation during winter."

"Oh," Bella said, mouthing the word. "Got it."

Santana grinned. She loved having conversations like that with her daughter. She was pretty sure that Bella was highly intelligent and that wasn't just her talking as a proud mom – which she totally was. Bella grasped new concepts so easily and quickly and she had a scarily accurate memory. At the last meeting with Bella's teacher, it had even been suggested that Bella skip a grade, but after talking with Bella about it, her daughter had said that she didn't want to leave her friends. Santana totally understood that and wasn't about to alienate her little genius from her small group of friends.

"It's glee night on Friday!" Bella exclaimed, jumping up and down as they walked down the sidewalk to the park.

"Yup, have you decided if you're going to sing?" Santana said in a teasing voice.

"Mommy," Bella whined, "you promised you wouldn't say anything. I don't sing as good as you and Rachel and Finn and Kurt and Blaine."

"As well," Santana corrected. "Bella, we all started somewhere. Do you know when I started singing?"

"When Abuela showed you _The Mickey Mouse Club_ on TV," Bella replied instantly.

Santana blinked. Cue scarily accurate memory. "Yeah, and I saw how much fun they had and I decided to try it. You know that you can't decide whether you're good at something or not if you don't try it." She knelt down next to Bella and pulled her close, whispering in her ear, "I've heard you sing in the bath and I think you're better than Rachel."

"Don't lie," Bella said, her eyes wide. "Mommy, you're joking."

"Would I lie or joke about something as serious as singing?" Santana in mock indignation, standing up and continuing their journey.

Bella was quiet for a while. "Better than Rachel?" she asked.

Santana nodded. "Totally."

"Better than you?"

"Now, hold up, that's aiming a little high, don't you think?" Santana said with a smile. "I mean, I am awesome, so it'll take a _lot_ to be as good as me."

Bella smiled, catching the joking tone in her mother's voice. "Well, if I'm better than Rachel then it won't be long until I'm better than you."

"Ha!" Santana laughed. "You think you can best me, baby girl? I demand a sing off."

"Right now?" Bella looked shocked.

Santana looked around and smiled. They were standing round about where she'd sung the New York mash up with New Directions during their visit to the city for Nationals junior year.

"I've actually sung here before, but we'll keep our sing off for tonight. How does that sound? You can have home court advantage."

Bella frowned. "We both live there. It's the same for both of us."

"Can't get one past you," Santana chuckled.

"Nope," Bella said matter-of-factly. "You may be the better singer, _for now_ , but I'm cleverer than you."

"Cleverer? Really?" Santana teased.

"Yes," Bella said in a determined voice, folding her arms across her chest and glaring at her mom.

"Oh, wait hold that pose," Santana begged. "Your Abuela will _love_ that look. I used to pull that all the time."

Bella posed dutifully, but Santana knew that her daughter loved taking photos. She sent the photo to her mom and to Rachel and Kurt as well, laughing out loud with Bella at their replies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the new and old readers! :)
> 
> I've created a Brittana discord server if anyone's interested: https://discord.gg/JnUbxkp :)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna start posting two of these a day otherwise we'll be here till 2021.

Brittany had spent most of her first week focusing on her new role as a dance teacher at Griffin Hill Academy. The students were a different breed to the type of kids she normally taught – in both good and bad ways.

On the bad side, the kids had very inflated opinions of themselves and their abilities. For the most part, the poor students had been grossly misinformed and Brittany hated that she had to be the one to tell them that they pretty much sucked.

On the upside, some of the kids had some serious potential thanks to their parents' ability to send them to dance classes from a young age. Brittany was able to form very clear differentiations and create beginner, intermediate and advanced classes. DC was very happy with the setup and had managed to grant Brittany's request for two-hour classes. As a result, she had been kept very busy planning what she was going to do with the different groups.

The faculty had been incredibly welcoming and it hadn't been hard for Brittany to quickly become popular with them – she was open and friendly and people responded to that.

Well, all except one teacher. Brittany had only glimpsed Santana in the faculty room in the mornings and in the halls from time to time. They both avoided each other and although Brittany wanted more than anything to summon up the courage to speak to her ex, the reminder of Santana immediately being able to read her terrified her. She couldn't deal with a broken heart. So she rather just prevented the hurt completely and stayed away.

Santana seemed to have the same idea, so Brittany considered herself lucky…sort of. No matter how much she tried to convince herself that she was protecting herself from certain heartache (again), just knowing that Santana was in the same building as her – the same two buildings, in fact – every day made her want to find her and just say hi, if _anything_.

At the end of her first week, Brittany found her legs walking hesitantly in the direction of the classrooms. She hadn't really had a chance to explore the school and she was convincing herself that's all she was doing and _not_ trying to find a certain teacher's classroom.

 _Yeah, right_.

Brittany smiled at a few students still milling about and they waved in greeting. She entered a long corridor and heard faint humming that echoed down the hall. She smiled to herself, easily recognising the owner of the voice. She stepped noiselessly towards Santana's classroom and leaned against the wall next to the open door.

She heard a phone ring and Santana's bright, beautiful, musical voice answered.

"Hey, Rach," she greeted and Brittany could see the smile on her face. God, she really hated that she still knew Santana so well.

"Just grading some essays. Yup." She laughed and Brittany felt butterflies stirring. Santana had the most amazing laugh, so full of life and joy and Brittany was glad that she was embracing that part of herself – she repressed it for so long during high school. She considered herself very lucky to have been one of the few that Santana had felt so comfortable around to laugh like that.

"Tonight? Yeah, I'm sure we can do that. Kurt and Blaine joining us? Okay, awesome. Bella will be thrilled. She loves going there."

Brittany let a scowl take over her face. Bella. Again. There was no escaping the person that Brittany was most jealous of in the world. She freely admitted it – Bella had everything that she wanted so desperately but couldn't have.

Santana laughed again and Brittany felt her heart ache with longing. She'd give anything to hear that laugh directed at her again, even if in a friendly nature.

_Who are you kidding?_

Brittany frowned and sighed quietly. She wanted everything with Santana again. The love, the hugs, the kisses, the _love_ , the stupid games they used to play, cooking together, waking up together, singing and dancing, _everything_. She wanted the whole nine yards. It killed her that someone else had that with Santana because she'd been too stubborn and focused on herself to realise that single hotel rooms and crazy schedules were not what made her happy. Sure, she'd loved being on tour and she'd probably do it again given the chance, but she hadn't realised what she'd been missing until she'd seen Santana in that club. That familiar racing of her heart at the mere sight of her had reminded Brittany what it was like to be in love. Really in love. The kind of love that movies and books showcased all the time. Brittany truly believed that she and Santana had that epic kind of love.

But she was too late and now someone else got that kind of love with Brittany's perfect match. It sucked, to say the least.

"Berry, I don't care what dress you wear!" Santana said with an air of irritation, breaking Brittany out of her inner monologue. "We're not going to the fucking Ritz, for Christ's sake." She heard Santana sigh. "Of course I'm going to dress up. Bella will too. That's what we do."

Brittany frowned again. She hated that any mention of Santana's girlfriend just made her mad – she had no right to be mad! But she still got mad. And irritated. And depressed. And jealous. And very, very sad.

"Whatever, we're going to both look way hotter than you anyway," Santana said with a hint of teasing. She laughed. "Bring it, Berry. See you later. Bye."

Santana started whistling and Brittany could hear her shuffling around, probably getting ready to leave. She looked around and glimpsed a large pillar on the other side of the corridor. She leapt gracefully behind it and peered discreetly around the corner and saw the object of her utmost desire stepping out of her classroom and pulling the door closed behind her.

She started humming and Brittany held her breath, hiding behind the pillar, just closing her eyes and listening to Santana's beautiful voice. Even when she was humming softly to herself, the sound still reached Brittany's soul.

When it sounded like Santana was a few metres away, Brittany peeked out from her hiding spot and just watched the sexy teacher walk down the hall. Completely against her will, Brittany's eyes travelled down to Santana's ass, covered by slim black slacks, making her look even more sexy.

Brittany slid to the floor and buried her face in her hands. Why was she torturing herself? Lusting after someone that she knew for a fact was unavailable in every way to her was like machinism or something.

 _Santana would know what you mean_.

"Shut up!" Brittany said out loud and immediately clamped her hand over her mouth.

The humming stopped. Brittany jumped up and took off down the opposite corridor, hoping Santana wouldn't come back and discover her fleeing. She spun around the corner and stopped, catching her breath and closing her eyes. She shook her head. She was being stupid. Like ridiculously stupid. What in the hell was she trying to accomplish, other than alerting Santana to the fact that she was sort of stalking her and to further increase her own heartache?

"Ah! Brittany!"

She jumped at the sudden voice behind her.

"Just the person I was looking for," DC said with a smile. "You're not busy, are you?"

"Uh, no," Brittany said quickly, gathering herself. "What do you need, boss?"

"I've got someone in the studio who would love to talk to you about some after school classes."

"Awesome," Brittany replied with an enthusiastic smile. She needed a distraction.

* * *

Santana frowned at the voice that echoed down the corridor as she walked towards the faculty lounge. It sounded like someone had said 'Shut up', and she was almost certain that the voice had belonged to the very person she'd been doing her best to avoid all week. So far, she'd been pretty successful, but Brittany hadn't exactly made it difficult. She'd hardly seen her except in the faculty lounge in the morning and in brief passing in the hallways.

Part of Santana was thankful that Brittany seemed to be avoiding her as much as she wanted to avoid Brittany. But the other part of her, the part that knew how in love with Brittany she still was, hated it.

Santana was pretty sure that her friends would give her hell if she attempted to reconcile with Brittany, in any capacity. But after everything they'd been through and what they'd meant to each other, could they really go back to being anything other than a couple? Santana wasn't sure that she could just be Brittany's friend. The small glimpses that she'd had of her had awoken the pull in her gut that, back when she was seventeen, had finally convinced her that she was in love with Brittany S. Pierce. She'd felt it when she'd locked onto blue eyes that night at the elevator and when she'd seen her in the faculty lounge for the first time. She couldn't deny it. She was tired of denying it.

After everything she'd put Brittany through in high school, denying her feelings and hiding who she was, she never wanted to go back to that. She was out and she was proud. Granted, she hadn't been with any other women but Brittany, but she was confident in her sexuality. Barring the accident (now the best accident ever) that was Bella, Santana had _no_ desire towards being with men. She'd noticed other women, sure – she was still hot-blooded, after all, but no one but Brittany had shared her bed. Santana found herself strangely content with that. After a very…open high school reputation, she relished that she had sworn herself to one woman and upheld that promise with no regret whatsoever. That had been one of her biggest fears – not being able to love Brittany so completely and hurting her.

 _Not being good enough for her_.

Santana closed her eyes at the rogue thought. No. She wouldn't think like that. Brittany didn't want to talk to her for whatever reason – _other than the fact that you told you hated her and never wanted to see her again?_ – and she wasn't about to make an already awkward situation even more awkward by reaching out when her ex clearly didn't want to reach back.

She was gratefully jolted from her thoughts by her phone.

"Hey, Porcelain," she greeted.

"Santana, I love you, but your Sue Sylvester impression leaves a lot to be desired," Kurt replied dryly.

Santana laughed. "Okay, Kurtie," she said in a sugary sweet voice.

"Oh, God," Kurt muttered. "Look, I just called to let you know that your glorious daughter and I are going shopping for tonight's dinner."

"Kurt, you spoil her too much," Santana groaned. "Do you know how difficult it is for me to take her shopping? You've increased her taste about two hundred percent above my pay grade."

Kurt giggled. "Aren't you just so lucky that I've decided to expand my line to kidswear."

Santana's jaw dropped. "Are you serious?"

"As the size of Kim Kardashian's ass."

Santana chuckled.

"We'll discuss it more at dinner tonight. For now, your daughter wishes to have a word."

Santana smiled and waited for Bella's sweet voice.

"Hi, Mommy!"

"Hey, baby! Did you have a good day?" Santana asked, unable to keep the giddiness out of her voice. Talking to Bella just brought it out naturally. She had no control over it.

"It was awesome!" Bella gushed. "I want to tell you all about it later."

"Okay, baby girl. Then what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to tell you that I love you."

Santana's eyes stung with emotion. She had reached the faculty lounge and just leaned against the wall, holding a hand over her heart and smiling.

"Oh, Bella, you have just made my week. I love you so much, baby. I can't wait to see you later."

"Bye, Mommy! We're going shopping now."

"I know. Have fun. Bye."

Santana ended the call and just looked at her phone in astonishment. Her daughter sometimes surprised her with the most thoughtful things and she loved it.

* * *

Brittany walked with DC towards the studio and paused at his office so that he could grab something.

"Oh, Bella, you have just made my week. I love you so much, baby. I can't wait to see you later."

A large lump immediately formed in Brittany's throat as she heard Santana's voice laced with love and affection. She glanced around the corner and saw her leaning against the wall and looking at her face with a look of disbelief on her face.

Brittany wished more than anything that the look of complete devotion on Santana's face would be directed at her.

_One day…_

Brittany rolled her eyes at her wistful self. There was no way, with how Santana was looking at her phone, that things were going to end between her and Bella anytime soon.

"Okay, let's go!" DC announced, waving a folder in his hand.

Brittany pasted a smile on her face and followed the principal around the corner, knowing that she'd have to walk past Santana to do it. She held her breath.

* * *

Santana looked up as DC came around the corner. She smiled in greeting, but the smile froze when she saw who was trailing him. Brittany's head was down and Santana didn't even have to see her face to know that she was sad.

Santana didn't know what made her do it – perhaps it was the fact that she'd always had an innate need to stop Brittany from being sad, perhaps it was a gravitational force, perhaps it was a spike of confidence from Bella's message. She reached and grabbed Brittany's hand. She sucked in a sharp breath at the feel of Brittany's skin against her own. A sizzle of electricity ran up her arm. Brittany’s eyes shot up and met hers. She stopped and just stared, confusion clouding them.

Santana opened her mouth, but no words came out. Her eyes bore into Brittany's and she seemed to understand what Santana was trying to ask.

_Are you okay?_

Brittany nodded subtly and gave Santana a small smile before squeezing her fingers lightly and pulling her hand away to continue following DC.

Santana's heart was pounding and her hand felt hot from holding Brittany's. It still felt so incredibly right. She hoped to God that Brittany had felt it too.

* * *

Brittany couldn't wipe the smile off her face as she skipped home. Santana had touched her. _Touched_ her. She'd done it consciously and knowingly, not by accident. And the concerned look in her eyes told Brittany that she could still read her as easily as when they'd been together. But she'd known that. It would probably never go away, no matter how long they'd been apart.

They hadn't said anything, but at the same time, they'd said so much. Words were just a formality with them. Their connection ran so much deeper than mere conversation. They spoke to each other with looks, with touches, with smiles. Their bodies communicated what they didn't need to say.

And the reason for Brittany's smile was that the connection was still very much alive and kicking.

"Hi, Noddy!" Brittany said happily, smiling wide at the doorman.

"Miss Pierce," Oliver nodded.

Brittany bounced on her toes as she rode the elevator up to her floor. Once inside, she immediately went to her stereo and put on some music. She kicked off her shoes and stood in the middle of where her living room would have been, if she had any furniture. She spent the next hour dancing, letting her body move to the music pulsating through the speakers. The smile didn't leave her face once.

* * *

"Okay, what's up with you?" Kurt demanded as they finished off their wine later that night.

"What do you mean?" Santana asked cautiously.

"You've had this little smile on your face the whole night. Spill."

"I've seen it too," Rachel piped up.

Santana sighed. "It was just a…nice moment at work."

"With?" Kurt prodded. Rachel had informed him and Finn of the true nature of Santana and Brittany's break up, so he was a little softer on blaming Brittany for everything. But only a little.

"Kurt," Blaine discouraged softly.

"Blaine, Santana owes us some good gossip from that high-and-mighty place she teaches at," Kurt replied with a smirk. He turned back to Santana. "Now, dish."

"Look, you guys have to hear me out and promise not to judge, okay?" Santana said quickly.

"Oh no," Rachel and Kurt said in unison.

Santana rolled her eyes. "You see? This why I haven't said anything."

"Are you okay?" Rachel asked in concern.

Santana frowned. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"So it wasn't…awkward or anything?" she pressed.

"It's been the very definition of awkward for the whole week, but we crossed paths after school and she looked so sad that I…" Santana trailed of and started playing with a strand of her daughter's hair softly.

Everyone at the table leaned forward (except Bella because she was passed out, stretched out along the chairs with her head resting in her mother's lap).

"And?" Kurt and Rachel both screeched.

"I grabbed her hand."

"And?" Kurt and Rachel asked in unison again.

"And…it felt exactly like the last time I touched her," Santana said with a smile. "She looked surprised and then gave me a smile and walked away."

"And?"

"Geez, guys," Finn chuckled. "Did you rehearse that?"

Both Rachel and Kurt silenced him with a glare.

"And that was it," Santana concluded.

"That's it?"

"Rachel, you're doing the parrot thing again," Santana teased.

"You've had this shit-eating grin on your face the whole night because you _held her hand_?" Kurt asked slowly.

Santana sighed. "Look, I don't expect you guys to get it. Brittany and I never needed words to talk to each other."

"Yeah, I remember," Rachel huffed. "You guys would just look at each other and we'd all know you were having a full-on conversation. It was highly annoying."

Santana chuckled. "Well, it is what it is."

"So now what?" Blaine ventured.

Santana shrugged. "I'm not going to get my hopes up or anything. I mean, it's been seven and a half years and I don't even know who she is now. Plus, I don't know if she's seeing anyone or if she even wants to fix us. _I_ don't even know if we can get back to what we were before we were together."

"Don't kid yourself, Santana," Rachel chided. "You and Brittany have _always_ been together."

Santana smiled a little at that and stroked her daughter's hair absently. "I'm taking this one step at a time. I think it'd be best for me to let her make the next move. I don't want to put myself out there only to get shot down." Santana dropped her head. "I'm not so sure I could handle that. Plus, we work together. We have to very careful that whatever happens, _if_ anything even happens, that it won't affect our working relationship."

"Do you even have one?" Kurt asked.

"Well, no," Santana admitted.

"Santana, I agree that the proverbial ball is now in Brittany's court and I, for one, couldn't be happier that you two seem to be on the track to friendship, if nothing else."

"Thanks, Rach," Santana said, smiling.

"Counting the proverbial chickens, aren't we?" Kurt said with raised eyebrows.

"Kurt," Blaine warned, placing his hand over his boyfriend's.

"No!" Kurt snapped, his eyes flashing. "Am I the only one who remembers what Brittany put her through?"

"Kurt," Santana said, her voice hard and her eyes narrowing, "first of all, lower your voice because if you wake Bella, I _will_ go all Lima Heights on your ass. Secondly, I love you for being so protective of my heart, but I'm a big girl now. And thirdly, you seem to forget that _I was there_ when she left. I know exactly what I went through."

"And you're willing to forgive and forget?" Kurt asked in disbelief.

Santana paused. "We both said things that we probably didn't mean. I know I did and I know Brittany – she lets her emotions rule her and I pissed her off, so naturally she was going to lash out." She sighed. "It is a fucked up situation, but I want to try and at least make amends for the things that I said to her. If she doesn't want a relationship or even a friendship with me, I guess I'll have to deal with that, but more than anything I need her to know how sorry I am for the things that I said."

The table was quiet as Santana's speech sank in.

"Fine," Kurt said finally, "but I reserve the right to fulfil my position as your protector if she does anything to hurt you again."

Santana shrugged in concession.

"Um, Kurt, exactly what kind of protection can you offer Santana?" Rachel asked sweetly. "You can't even throw a toilet roll threateningly."

The adults chuckled and just like that, the tension was diffused.

* * *

Brittany's phone buzzed and she stopped her dancing, breathing hard. She glanced at her clock. An hour of dancing had turned into three. Her friends from the studio wanted her to join them at a club. Brittany grinned. She still had bundles of energy and her happiness knew no bounds.

She texted a quick reply and ran to the bathroom.

* * *

"It's still early," Kurt complained as the dinner party walked out of the restaurant. "I don't want to go home yet."

"I'm up for a little clubbing," Blaine offered with a smile.

"This is why I love you," Kurt sighed, dropping his head onto his boyfriend's shoulder.

"How about you guys?" Blaine asked Rachel and Finn.

"Not tonight," Rachel declined. "I have fittings this entire weekend. A late night would kill me."

Finn just nodded in agreement and Santana rolled her eyes.

"Santana?" Blaine queried.

"Gotta get my baby home," Santana replied, squeezing her daughter as she slept in her arms.

"We could take her," Rachel offered. "Come on, you rarely go out, Santana, and I know you miss it."

Santana grinned. "You sure?"

"Absolutely," Finn said, holding out his arms.

Santana kissed Bella's forehead softly and held her a little tighter before lifting her daughter into Finn's arms. Bella immediately snuggled into the familiar warmth.

"Thanks, guys," Santana said gratefully. "I could use the relaxation."

"No strange one-night-stands, Santana!" Rachel said teasingly as she and Finn headed in the direction of their apartment.

"Oh, hardy har," Santana replied sarcastically. She waved at the couple and turned back to Blaine and Kurt, linking her arms through theirs. "Lead the way, boys."

* * *

Brittany threw her hair back as the music engulfed her. God, she loved to dance. Choreographed or free, she loved being able to move her body to the inner beat that pulsed through her veins.

Darren, one of Brittany's former trainees, grabbed her hand and pulled her back to their table. She squinted through her alcoholic daze at four shots of a strange green liquid.

"Wassat?" she yelled.

Darren just smiled. "Trust me, Britt. You're gonna love this."

Brittany shrugged and took a shot, downing it and immediately feeling a head rush as the alcohol hit her body.

_Wow, that shit packs a punch._

"Absinth," Darren said in her ear. "This night's about to get wild."

"Hi, everyone!" a familiar voice shouted over the music.

Brittany turned and frowned. "Sara, whadryoudoinhere?" Her words ran all together.

Sara raised an eyebrow.

"She's been shot heavy tonight," Darren laughed. "I think she needs someone to take care of her."

Sara grinned. "I'm sure I can do that." She grabbed Brittany's hand and pulled her back onto the dance floor.

The music overtook Brittany again and she let herself be swept away, not paying attention to Sara's hands roaming all over her body.

* * *

Santana laughed as Blaine and Kurt did the robot. She was having a great time. She'd only had two drinks, enough to give her a very slight buzz, but Blaine was going all out. Luckily, he loved to dance when he got drunk and Santana had wanted to do just that.

"Drink?" Kurt asked, motioning to the bar.

Santana contemplated for a second and nodded, following him to the crowded bar.

* * *

Brittany was letting the alcohol control her actions. And at that moment, she was horny as hell. Sara was there and Santana was with Bella, so Brittany figured, in her intoxicated state, that it wouldn't be cheating if she responded to Sara's very obvious advances.

Brittany spun around and danced with her back against Sara's front. Sara's hands ran up and down her bare legs and squeezed her hips. Brittany ground her ass into Sara and heard her ex-lover (or current lover?) moan loudly at the friction.

"Drink!" Brittany suddenly yelled, grabbing Sara's hand and pulling her towards the bar.

She pushed Sara against the counter and pressed into her. Sara's hands immediately found Brittany’s ass and squeezed.

"I think you should at least buy me a drink if you want me to come home and fuck you senseless," Brittany said in Sara's ear, nipping and licking it.

"Brittany?"

She froze at the familiar musical voice. She slowly raised her head from Sara's ear and saw Santana's face. She was standing right next to Brittany and had to have heard what she'd said to Sara.

_Shit. Fuck. Shit._

Brittany's face must have flashed through several expressions within a few seconds: horror, shame, surprise, disgust, longing, sadness, embarrassment to name but a few. There were only two that crossed Santana’s: first, her brow creased and her eyes filled with hurt. Two seconds later, the hurt was replaced with an emotion Brittany was all too familiar with coming from Santana – anger.

She spun on her heel and pushed her way through the crowd to get to the exit, Kurt hot on her tail.

"Santana!" Brittany called after her, trying to follow, but Sara was keeping a tight hold on her. Brittany jerked away from her. "Leave me the fuck alone!" she yelled, throwing herself into the crowd after Santana.

She pushed forcefully through the dancing masses, her hazy eyes floating across the mass of blurs. Crap, she could barely see anything. How the hell was she supposed to find Santana?

A flash of blue caught Brittany's eye. Santana had been wearing a blue dress. She took off after it, regardless of whether it was the right person or not. As she got closer to the exit, she saw that it was indeed Santana. She called out to her, but her voice was lost in the loud music. Or Santana just ignored her. Brittany couldn't blame her.

She was within arm's reach. Brittany went to grab her arm, but her own was wrenched away and she found herself face to face with Kurt. At least, she thought it was Kurt. It kinda looked like him, but her vision was fucked. She'd only been able to focus on Santana.

"You will stay away from her," Kurt said firmly, closely and loudly enough for Brittany to hear. "Do you understand me, Brittany? Don't even _think_ about talking to her again. She's too good for you."

Brittany blinked and Kurt was gone. She swirled around, but her vision was blurring really badly until it just faded to black.


	15. Chapter 15

Santana woke up and her face was dry, her eyes sore. Why did this feel so familiar? She glanced around. She was in her room at Rachel and Finn's. Wait…had everything just been a dream? A horrible nightmare? The last eight years had never happened?

"Mommy?"

_Thank God._

Santana turned over in the bed and saw Bella sitting up and looking at her with a worried expression.

"Hey, baby girl," Santana whispered, not trusting her voice. She propped up her elbow and rested her head on her hand. She tucked strands of Bella's hair behind her ear.

"Are you okay?"

Santana took a deep breath. "I'm not great, but I think I will be."

Bella looked down as she played with her fingers, a nervous habit she'd obviously picked up from her mother. Santana grabbed her hands and stilled them.

"You woke me up when you came to bed," Bella said quietly. "You were shaking. It sounded like you were crying."

"I was," Santana said, her voice croaky. She cleared it. "I heard something last night that really hurt my feelings."

"Who hurt you, Mama?" Bella asked earnestly. "I'll go all Lima Heights on their a-"

"Uh, not necessary, baby girl," Santana stepped in quickly. Hearing her six-year-old cuss was not something she was ready for, but it didn't stop the smile from creeping onto her face at her daughter's desire to protect her. "Do you remember that girl from high school?"

Bella's eyes widened. "You saw her again?"

Santana nodded, the memory of hearing and seeing Brittany, her Brittany, all over another girl. She closed her eyes, but a tear escaped and rolled slowly down her cheek. Santana felt a soft hand on her cheek, wiping the tear away.

"If she hurt you then she doesn't love you," Bella said matter-of-factly. "Kurt and Rachel both told me that. If you love someone, you shouldn't hurt them."

Santana nodded again and let Bella snuggle against her chest.

"Don't worry, Mama. I still love you."

Santana just closed her eyes, pulled her arms tightly around Bella and let the fresh set of tears fall.

* * *

Her head felt like a fifty-pound rock. She groaned and rolled over, immediately wishing she hadn't even moved. Brittany lay still for a few minutes, trying to remind herself how her body worked. Everything felt alien. For a brief moment, she wondered if she'd been abducted again. She did remember some green juice…

 _Fuck_.

Santana.

Why, why, why, _why_ had she been so fucking stupid? And with _Sara_? Brittany groaned at the reminder of her ex-lover's hands all over her body and the look on Santana's face.

She pushed herself up and blearily opened her eyes, having to blink a few times for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. She wasn't in her apartment. She was in Sara's bed. Brittany lifted the sheets and winced when she saw that she was naked. She figured that she'd passed out. In the club – God, _that_ must've been attractive. She vaguely remembered seeing Kurt and him saying something about staying away. Had Sara then brought her back here? If Brittany had been virtually unconscious, the thought of Sara having sex with her kinda grossed her out.

"Look who's finally awake," a sugary sweet voice said from the doorway.

"Whyaminaked?" Brittany mumbled, her mouth refusing to co-operate.

"What?"

Sara walked in and sat down on the bed next to Brittany. She reached out and brushed blonde hair out of the dancer's face. Brittany jerked back away from her touch.

"What happened?" Brittany said slowly.

"You passed out in the club," Sara stated. "I brought you back here."

"Where are my clothes? We didn't…?" Brittany tried to hide the grimace.

Sara raised an eyebrow. "It's strange. Last night you were begging me to bring you here to do exactly that. But, no, we didn't. You undressed yourself at some point."

Brittany sighed in relief and dropped her head back on the pillow.

"Do you want something to eat?" Sara offered. "You've been out the whole day. You must be starving."

"The whole day?" Brittany asked in disbelief. That green stuff must have been a lot more potent than Darren let on.

"It's about nine pm. And it's Saturday night," Sara informed her.

"Um, could you just get me a glass of water?" Brittany asked sheepishly. "I think it would better if I just went home."

Sara frowned. "You don't have to."

"Yeah," Brittany said firmly, "I do."

"Why?" Sara burst out. "Jesus, Britt! You come onto me like a frigging sex maniac last night and now you can't wait to get away from me? What the hell is your problem?"

Brittany sighed. "Look, I was drunk last night. Whatever I did was a mistake. I should never even have had that stupid shot."

Sara snorted. "Sure, blame it on the alcohol. Just go on lying to yourself. You wanted to come home with me last night because you want _me_."

"I don't," Brittany replied softly. "I'm sorry, Sara, but I'm in love with someone else and I don't want anyone else but her."

"What?" Sara asked in disbelief. "You're kidding me, right? You don't fall in love, Britt. You told me that."

Brittany just gave her a pointed look.

"Oh," Sara said in understanding. "It's her, isn't it? Your ex? The one who told you to fuck off? God, she must have you wrapped around her finger."

"Don't you dare talk about her like that," Brittany said in a low voice. She didn't often get angry, but when people wanted to hurt Santana, it was an innate reaction. "What we have is…something only we understand."

Sara laughed mirthlessly and stood up from the bed. "That's a fucking cop out, Brittany. If you two are meant to be together, why are you naked in _my_ bed?"

Brittany glared at Sara and threw back the covers, not caring that Sara could see everything. She grabbed her clothes from the floor and quickly dressed.

"Look," she said diplomatically, "I appreciate you taking care of me and everything, but it won't make me want you or want to be with you. My heart belongs to Santana. It always has and it always will. There's nothing I can do to change that and, honestly, I don't want to. Even if I never get to be with her again, I'll still love her because she's my match. I'm sorry if it hurts you to hear that, but it's the truth."

"Whatever," Sara said with narrowed eyes. "She's only going to hurt you again."

"No, she won't," Brittany said, sadness filling her heart. "I've already done enough damage."

Sara turned and walked out the bedroom. Brittany took a deep breath and walked into Sara's bathroom to fix her hair and disastrous make up. She had to earn Santana's forgiveness. Even if she was in a relationship with someone, she didn't want the Latina to think that she wanted nothing to do with her. If all she ever got was forgiveness, she'd be happy with that.

* * *

Santana stood outside the faculty lounge on Monday morning and took a deep breath before pushing the door open and walking in. It was early so there were only a few other teachers in the room. She greeted them and went to sign in. She made small talk with her colleagues and immediately left the room when she saw Brittany walk in.

Brittany’s eyes caught hers before Santana exited and she had to swallow at the sadness there. Brittany being sad was like a crime against the universe. The brightest day grew dull when she wasn't smiling.

_Argh! Stop it! She made her feelings about you very clear on Friday night. You need to forget about her._

Santana took a deep breath and headed for her classroom. She was pretty sure that if she stayed holed up in there forever, she could minimise the time she was forced to be in the same vicinity as Brittany.

Her friends had been very supportive and given her a wide berth, offering to take Bella and give her some alone time, but Bella didn't want to leave her mother and Santana didn't want her to, either. They spent their entire Sunday curled up on the couch watching movies. It had allowed Santana to momentarily forget about the image that was now burned into her mind. Brittany biting and licking the other girl's ear, telling her that she was going to fuck her sense-

_STOP!_

"Fuck," Santana muttered, opening her classroom and falling into her chair. "Why, why, why, _why_? When will I learn?"

The bell rang and Santana sat up. She hadn't even realised that half an hour had passed since she'd left the faculty lounge.

 _Great, I'm losing my fucking mind_.

Her homeroom started trailing in, sending greetings her way. Santana was too wrapped up in her thoughts to reply, causing her students to frown.

"Miss Lopez?"

"Hmmm?"

"Are you okay? You've been sitting staring at the same spot on your desk for like five minutes."

Santana's eyes snapped up. Her class was looking at her with concern and she felt a rush of emotion. "Sorry, guys," she said quickly, sending them a small smile. "Bella had, uh, a nightmare last night so I didn't get much sleep. I'm pretty beat."

 _Great, you're using your daughter as an excuse now. Bravo, Santana_.

"When are you gonna bring her round again?" one of the students asked enthusiastically. "She's super cute."

Santana smiled, for real this time. "I'll have to ask her if she can stomach all you inferior beings," she teased with a wink.

Her class laughed and Santana visibly relaxed. She just needed to lose herself in her job, which wouldn't be difficult with Christmas break coming up. There were loads of papers that she was expecting to come in that would occupy her mind.

"Have a good day, guys," she called as the bell for first period rang and her students filed out.

Santana stayed holed up in her classroom during lunch, getting a head start on her marking. She's been at it for about twenty minutes when her pen froze as she felt a familiar presence in the room. She didn't dare look up. It infuriated her that she was still so attuned to Brittany's body that she could feel when she walked into a room.

She reread the same paragraph she'd been on for the fifth time, but nothing was registering. She was dying for Brittany to say something, anything. The tension was eating away at her and damned if she was going to say something first.

"I never thought I'd see you in a classroom again."

 _Seriously? That's what you came up with, Brittany?_ Santana fumed silently. She hated how the sound of Brittany's voice after so many years directed at her sent shivers up her spine.

 _Get a fucking grip, Lopez_.

"But it suits you," Brittany continued.

"And how would you know?" The defensive words slipped out of Santana's mouth before she could filter them. Her gaze stayed on the paper in front of them, but her heart was thumping at a million miles a minute.

"Fair enough," Brittany conceded. "I guess I deserved that."

Was this how things were going to be between them now? Were they just going to make painful small talk, pretend like nothing had happened? Santana preferred the silence.

"You look good, San. Really. You look happy."

Santana froze again. She'd called her San. Brittany was the only person who was allowed to call her that and to hear it tumble from her lips so effortlessly after so long just made Santana’s heart ache and she felt that familiar pull in her gut. She took a quiet breath.

"What do you want?" she asked, glad her voice came out stronger than she felt. "As you can see, I'm actually quite busy."

Santana had to protect her heart. If it meant that she had to be a bitch to Brittany, then so be it. Once upon a time, Brittany had been the only one exempt from Santana's wrath, but she'd lost that right. Now, it belonged to Bella and to her family. She couldn't let them down again. They'd pulled her back seven and half years ago and she wasn't about to make them do the same thing again.

She'd given Brittany a chance and Brittany had thrown it back in her face. Cue the stronghold around her heart.

"Santana, I just wanted to apologise," Brittany said softly.

"For what?"

Brittany was quiet and Santana chanced a look. She was looking down, her bottom lip caught between her teeth and her brows furrowed in concentration.

Santana's phone vibrated on her table and she frowned. Her friends and family knew not to call her during school hours.

"Hello?"

"Santana Lopez?"

"Yes," Santana replied, frowning.

"I'm calling about Isabella. She's your daughter, correct?"

"Y-Yes," Santana stuttered, her heart racing. "Is she okay?"

"She's fine. She had a bit of a fall during recess and her ankle looks like it could be sprained. The nurse is having a look at it now, but thinks it would be best if you could come and fetch her?"

"Y-Yes," Santana said loudly, causing Brittany to jump. "I'm on my way. Just…just tell her that I love her and I'm on my way, okay?"

"Will do, Miss Lopez."

"Thank you." Santana hung up the phone and started throwing half the stuff on her desk into her bag, not even registering what she was putting in.

"Everything okay?"

Santana blinked and looked up, her eyes meeting Brittany's unintentionally.

"I've gotta go. My, uh…I've gotta go," Santana stumbled, not entirely sure why she felt Brittany should know. She closed her bag and pulled it onto her shoulder.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Brittany asked and Santana could hear the concern in her voice.

She met blue eyes again. "No," she said firmly. "You're not part of my life anymore, Brittany. You made that much _very_ clear."

Santana hurried out of her classroom before Brittany had a chance to respond. Tears ran down Santana’s cheeks and she couldn't figure out if they were because of Bella or Brittany.

* * *

Brittany felt her heart sink at Santana's words. It was her greatest fear. Santana wasn't going to forgive her. She'd had her chance and she'd blown it. Sniffing as tears swam in her eyes, Brittany walked out of Santana's classroom and headed towards the faculty lounge. She needed coffee. She felt so drained all of a sudden. Her normally boundless energy had disappeared at Santana's harsh rejection.

Brittany recalled her voice as she'd spoken on the phone. Santana had sounded so scared. She was pretty sure that the phone call had something to do with Bella and seeing Santana's reaction to something potentially happening to her had just cemented the reality of Brittany's situation: Santana was completely devoted to Bella and Brittany had zero chance of any kind of reconciliation.

Brittany sighed as she walked past DC's office. The door was open and she could hear Santana's frantic voice.

"I'm so sorry! I know this is totally unprofessional, but she…I have to…" her voice broke off as words failed her in her panic.

"Santana, it's perfectly alright. We all know how much Bella means to you. Go. I'll call in one of our subs. Take tomorrow off too and let me know if you need longer."

"DC, you are unbelievable," Santana said gratefully. "Thank you so, so much."

She raced out of the office, not even noticing Brittany standing a few feet away. Brittany watched her sprint down the hall, her hair trailing behind her. Even in a complete panic, she still managed to look beautiful.

"Brittany!" DC said warmly, walking out of his office. "Having a good day?"

Brittany forced a smile. "I can definitely say that I've had better."

"Ah, chin up," DC grinned. "I'm sure it'll get better."

 _I'm pretty sure it won't_ , Brittany thought. _I'm pretty sure that I've lost her forever_.

* * *

"Normally I wouldn't encourage this, but if you can get me to my daughter's school in five minutes, there's a big tip in it for you," Santana said to the cabbie as he pulled away from her school.

"You got it, lady," the cabbie replied, increasing his speed with a squeal of his tyres.

A trip that would normally take closer to twenty minutes took six and a half minutes and Santana thanked him, throwing far too much money on the front seat and jumping out. She took the steps into the school two at a time.

"Hi!" she said breathlessly to the secretary. "I'm Santana Lopez. I'm here for Isabella Lopez."

"Certainly, Miss Lopez. She's just through here," the secretary smiled, walking across the hall.

Santana walked through the door and saw Bella sitting on a bed, frowning at her strapped up ankle. The nurse was talking softly to her.

"How has she been?" Santana whispered.

"Like a trooper, actually," the secretary replied. "Not many six-year-olds exhibit that kind of strength."

Santana smiled proudly. "Mommy's girl."

Bella looked up and her eyes met Santana's. She smiled and as though someone flipped a switch, her eyes suddenly filled with tears.

"Mama," she sobbed, holding out her arms.

Santana crossed the room and sat on the bed, pulling Bella into her arms, careful not to hurt her ankle. Bella gripped her mother tightly around the neck and sobbed into her blouse. Santana hummed an old Spanish lullaby and stroked Bella's hair gently.

"You've got a very brave girl there, Miss Lopez," the nurse said with a smile.

"I know," Santana murmured, kissing Bella's head. "Any recommendations on how to make recovery as painless as possible?"

"As I've told Bella already, she should stay in bed for the rest of today and possibly tomorrow. Her ankle needs to be elevated higher than her chest and the strapping should be redone three times a day, but never left off. If the swelling doesn't go down by tonight, then you can use ice, but that's pretty uncomfortable. Here's a tube of Arnica. Rub it gently around the swollen area before you re-strap and she should be good as new in a few days."

"Thank you," Santana said gratefully. "So she shouldn't put any weight at all on it?"

"For today, definitely not. Maybe late tomorrow she can start walking around. The most important thing is to get the swelling down."

Santana nodded and kissed Bella's head again. "Come on, baby girl. Let's get you home."

Bella loosened her grip around her mother's neck enough for Santana to swing her onto her hip. As soon as she was settled into a comfortable position, Bella's arms tightened and she rested her head in the crook of Santana's neck.

"If I may," the nurse said softly, placing a hand on Santana's arm, "I see a lot of single parents coming through here, but you've done an amazing job with Bella. She's selfless, friendly, smart and gracious."

Santana's heart fluttered with the praise. "Thank you. That really means a lot. She makes it easy, though. Baby?"

Bella lifted her head. The tears had stopped, but her eyes were still red and she just looked tired.

"I think you should say thank you to the nurse for doing such a super job patching you up."

"Thank you," Bella whispered, leaning her forehead against Santana's lips.

Santana responded to Bella's wishes and kissed her forehead three times before leaning back and running her finger across it. Bella smiled and did the same to her mother.

"That is too adorable," the nurse said with a smile. "And Bella, you get better soon, okay? I need someone to help keep my sick room empty."

Santana looked at the nurse in confusion.

"Oh, she's taken it upon herself to marshal the playground and make sure that the kids aren't doing anything that could land them in here."

"Really?" Santana asked Bella, who had rested her head in the crook of her mother's neck again.

Bella nodded slightly. "They get hurt and then miss school. And school's fun so they shouldn't miss school."

"That's my girl," Santana murmured. She turned to the nurse. "Thank you again."

"It's really no problem. Not with her, anyway."

Santana smiled and walked out of the nurse's room, careful not to knock Bella's sore ankle on anything. The secretary handed her Bella's backpack and mother and daughter took a long stroll home, Santana humming to her the whole time.

* * *

Brittany sat at her window with a glass of wine. Her day hadn't got any better after seeing Santana. Santana’s words had run through her head every few minutes and her concentration had been nowhere. Her students were surprised at how unfocused she was, considering she often teased them about not concentrating.

How had she fucked everything up so completely? Santana had given her a small window of opportunity on Friday by taking her hand and all she'd done was throw it back in her face. She needed to do something. She needed to make Santana understand how sorry she was. Even if she didn't forgive her, at least she'd know how much Brittany regretted what she did.

The evening was getting colder and Brittany pulled her blanket around her, moving to pull the window closed, but a familiar voice stopped her.

"Oh, she's pulling out all the tricks. The puppy dog eyes, that adorable pout. How can I say no? She has me completely wrapped around her finger." Santana laughed and Brittany winced at the tug at her heart.

"She's sleeping now. Hopefully she'll be out for the night otherwise I know I won't get any sleep." She laughed again. "I wish. I don't even think I remember how to do that anymore." She giggled. Brittany loved that giggle. "Ew, Berry, no thank you. I definitely do _not_ need any kind of help in that department. Are you sure Finnocence is doing it right?"

Brittany could almost hear Santana's smirk.

"Okay, okay, I _really_ don't need to know about that," Santana laughed. "I've been there, remember? Ah, come on, Rach. You know I'm only teasing you. Yup, I got tomorrow off to stay with her. I'll see how she feels tomorrow night." She paused as Rachel said something. "Well, I've got a fuck load of papers to grade, so I can't really afford to be off for more than one day. You will? Rach, you are a rock star. Thank you!" She laughed. "Okay, Broadway star, whatever. I know. Yeah, she misses you too. Thanks again. Chat to you tomorrow. Bye."

Brittany closed her eyes as Santana started to hum. It was honestly one of the most soothing sounds in the world for Brittany. She wished she could record it and keep it playing on repeat in her ear.

Brittany's eyes stayed closed as tears started rolling down her cheeks. The familiar tune of _Songbird_ floated up, yet another reminder for Brittany that she and Santana didn't have a future.


	16. Chapter 16

A month passed without Brittany and Santana saying a word to each other. Christmas break came and went, which made not seeing each other that much easier. Santana and Bella went back to Lima to visit her parents and she was forced to tell them what had happened with Brittany when her sombre mood had frustrated her mother to the point of asking.

Maribel and Emilio were upset that things had turned out the way they did, but didn't pressure Santana into trying to work things out with Brittany. They knew better than that.

New Years was uneventful. Santana wanted to give Brittany a midnight kiss and Brittany wanted to give Santana a midnight kiss. Santana's friends saw how down she was and tried to include her in fun activities, but she was struggling to climb out of her emotional slump. Bella noticed something was up and tried talking to Santana about it, but her mother just smiled and promised that she was okay.

At an assembly after winter break, Brittany and Santana were sitting on opposite sides of the gym and caught each other's glances. They locked eyes for what felt like hours, until some students misbehaving caused Santana to break it.

Brittany hated the empty feeling she permanently had. Her Christmas and New Year’s had been the loneliest ever. Her parents were in Australia or something, following some animal that was thought to be extinct and her sister had stayed on campus for the holidays. For the past seven years, Brittany had always been on tour somewhere and had been at a huge party for both holidays. Her solitude echoed around her big apartment as she curled up on the couch and watched endless Christmas specials on TV.

She wanted so desperately to go and talk to Santana, but she was so scared of her rejecting her again, but part of her was even more terrified of her actually listening and accepting her apology. Could Brittany really _just_ be friends with Santana? Would she be able to sit back and watch as the love of her life grew old with her perfect Bella?

Brittany sighed and leaned back against the mirror in her dance studio. Avoiding Santana had actually very easy. She hated that it had been so easy. All it told her was that Santana didn't want to see her or talk to her. Maybe it was time for Brittany to actually respect her wishes and give up on any kind of reconciliation.

_And regret another decision?_

Brittany frowned. She didn't want to regret not talking to Santana before they parted for good, if that was what Santana wanted. She needed to sort things out. She had to, for her own sanity if nothing else.

She made a decision as she stretched and prepared herself for a two-hour training session. She wasn't going to leave school the next day until she had spoken to Santana.

* * *

Brittany was exhausted as she exited the cab outside the apartment building. Her two-hour session of free dance had turned into three before she'd even realised it. She pulled her jacket tightly around her and hurried through the open door.

"Thanks, Noddy," she said gratefully, smiling.

"Always a pleasure, Miss Pierce," Oliver replied. "Stay warm."

"That's the plan," Brittany replied, walking over to her post box and pulling out her mail. She pressed the button for the elevator and waited, leaning against the wall and closing her eyes.

"Mommy!"

Brittany smiled to herself at the insistence of the little girl's voice. Kids were always on a mission.

"Hurry up, Mommy! You promised me hot chocolate!"

Brittany smiled again.

"Isabella, watch your tone. When have I ever broken a promise?"

The smile on Brittany's face froze and her breathing started to increase and her eyes shot open. She would know that voice anytime, anywhere. She kept her head down, staring so hard at her mail that the letters started to swim in front of her eyes.

She must've heard wrong. That little girl hadn't called Santana, _her_ Santana, Mommy? Had she? Maybe Brittany was suffering from exhaustion and hallucinating. That must be it.

"Sorry, Mama," Brittany heard the little girl say meekly.

"Come here, baby girl," Santana said and it sounded like she was picking her up. "Apology accepted. Although I think you're on dish duty tonight to make it up to me."

"But I already said sorry!" the little girl whined.

"No matter," Santana replied. "You always make me do something for you when I do something wrong. An apology is never enough for you."

Brittany heard a giggle from the little girl and she squeezed her eyes closed. It was like a younger version of Santana's giggle.

 _This is really happening. Santana has a daughter._ _Holy fuck._

How the _hell_ had Santana had a daughter without her knowing? Was she married? She couldn’t remember seeing a ring on Santana’s finger – she would have noticed that immediately. Or did she have a daughter with Bella? They'd never even spoken about kids when they'd been together. She didn't even think that Santana had wanted kids.

Brittany's eyes lifted as Santana stepped in front of the elevator and she froze when she saw Brittany. Blue eyes met dark ones filled with surprise and drifted slowly to the little girl in Santana's arms. Brittany took a sharp breath in. She felt like she was in a time warp and looking at Santana when she'd first met her in first grade. She was the spitting image of Santana.

Brittany's eyes went back to Santana's, who was now looking exceptionally uncomfortable. The elevator door opened with a ding and Brittany gave Santana a resigned look before stepping inside. Santana was a mom. She had a daughter. Brittany realised how much of her ex-girlfriend's life she'd actually missed. How old was she? Who was the other parent? She shook her head and leaned against the back of the elevator.

"Mommy, the elevator’s waiting," the little girl informed Santana.

"Uh, that's okay, baby girl. We'll wait for the next one," Brittany heard Santana say with a shaky voice. "I should check the mail."

"We did that when we came home from school," the little girl reminded her.

Brittany let a small smile cross her face. Innocent logic never failed. She'd won many an argument with Santana because her logic was faultless. She held the door open and waited for mother and daughter. She didn't have to wait long. Santana stepped into the elevator, her eyes downcast.

"Hi!"

Brittany looked at mini-Santana and couldn't help but smile. "Hi."

"Are you new here? I haven't seen you before."

" _Mija_ ," Santana warned, before saying something else in Spanish.

"What?" Brittany asked curiously.

"I'm being nosy," mini-Santana admitted apologetically.

"No, not at all," Brittany smiled. "I am sort of new. I've lived here since fall."

"Do you like it?" mini-Santana fired off.

Brittany looked at Santana until their eyes met. "I'm not too sure yet," she said honestly. "I want to, but I keep on feeling like I'm unwelcome."

Santana's eyes narrowed slightly and she sent clear message to Brittany: Stop it.

"That sucks," mini-Santana sympathised.

"Yeah, it does," Brittany agreed, still holding onto Santana's gaze. "I really do want to like it here."

"What's your name?" mini-Santana asked.

The doors opened and Santana stepped out.

"I'm Brittany."

"Hi, Brittany. I'm Bella," the little girl said, smiling and waving. "Bye!"

Brittany's mouth dropped on the floor as she watched Santana and _Bella_ walk away from the elevator. The doors closed and Brittany slid to the floor. Bella. Bella. _Bella._ She was Santana's _daughter_. Her frigging DAUGHTER!

Brittany let out a small laugh of disbelief. For months, she'd convinced herself that Santana was hopelessly in love with a mystery woman and that mystery woman turned out to be her daughter.

"Idiot of the year award," Brittany muttered with a smile, as the elevator opened on her floor.

_This changes everything._

* * *

Santana was freaking out the next day at school. It had finally happened. Brittany had finally met Bella. It was nowhere near how she wanted the introduction to go down, but once her daughter started talking, it was difficult to get her to back down.

The look on Brittany's face had perplexed Santana. When she'd first seen her, Brittany had given her a look of defeat. It made no sense. What had she lost? It wasn't like she'd had Santana or anything for her to lose.

 _Bullshit_.

 _Shut up_.

Santana sat in her classroom and fidgeted as she waited for her class to finish their tests. There was a knock on her door and Santana sat up quickly, knocking her leg on her desk and hissing in pain. Some of the students closer to the front looked up and eyed her in confusion.

A student walked in and handed her a note. She opened it and frowned. DC wanted her to meet in the dance studio after school. The dance studio. _Brittany's_ dance studio. Santana took a deep breath and started to massage her temples. That didn't sound like it was going to go well. What if Brittany cornered her and started asking questions? What if she didn't answer them? What if she did? What did even matter? Argh! Brittany didn't want her.

Santana shook her head and looked up to see some of her students filtering to the front to hand in their tests.

* * *

To say that Santana was nervous when the final bell rang would be an understatement. A _huge_ understatement. She checked her make-up and hair five times (why?) and suddenly wished that she could get hold of some tequila. She so desperately needed liquid courage. Her usual courage had vanished and was being rapidly replaced with panic.

_You are Santana motherfucking Lopez. Pull your shit together, for Christ's sake!_

Santana took a deep breath and stood up, smoothing down her skirt and making her slow journey to the dance studio. She peered inside. It was pretty impressive. It had a similar look of the studio that Brittany had worked at before she'd left.

"Hey."

The voice was soft, but Santana's heart picked up. She looked to her left and saw Brittany sitting on a stack of mats with a folder.

"Um, I got a message or something," Santana mumbled.

 _Real smooth, Lopez_.

Brittany smiled and Santana felt her knees go a little weak. How she had missed that smile. It transformed the entire feeling of the room.

"Yeah, I had an idea last night and I wanted to run it by DC and a few of the teachers."

"Oh," Santana said, trying to hide the disappointment.

_Really? Now you're disappointed that she didn't want to just speak to you? You're pathetic._

"I know," Santana whispered to herself.

"What?" Brittany asked, looking up from her folder.

"Nothing."

"Okay," Brittany said, sending Santana a look that she knew meant she didn't believe her.

The whole exchange felt kind of surreal. They were acting like two work colleagues who just happened to know everything about each other. Well, everything up until almost eight years ago. It was like Brittany had completely let go of any awkwardness she'd been holding onto. Okay, maybe she was just trying to be normal work colleagues. Santana could do that. Brittany was reaching out. She smiled to herself as she walked around the studio.

_Maybe, just maybe I may want to reach with her._

About ten minutes later, Santana was seated against the wall with a few other teachers: Mrs. Spencer, the music teacher, Mr. Griffin, the drama teacher (and relative of the school's namesake, or so he claimed), Mr. Fuller, the English Head of Department and Ms. Ridge, one of the art teachers.

"Hi, everyone," Brittany said clearly. Santana was surprised an impressed at the strength of her voice. She'd always hated public speaking, but then again, it had been eight years…

"Thanks for taking time out of your day to meet me here. I know you guys have a lot of commitments, so thanks…again." She grinned and Santana felt a small smile play on her face.

"I've been at Griffin Hill for almost three months and I'm loving everything about the school and all it has to offer, but I think there might be something missing, and I thought that you, considering your respective fields, could tell me if this idea that I have is crazy or not.

"When it comes to the arts, I'm very passionate," Brittany continued. "I've danced pretty much since I could walk and when I was in high school, I was in glee club and it was honestly one of the best experiences of my life." Santana met her eyes and gave her an encouraging smile before she could stop her body's automatic reaction.

"I propose that we put on a musical," Brittany announced.

Santana nodded in agreement. She had been hoping to suggest something along the lines of a musical or even starting Griffin Hill's own glee club, but she wanted to get her portfolio within the English department completely sorted out before she undertook any other responsibilities.

"By the looks on your faces, I'm guessing that you think this is a good idea?" Brittany asked hesitantly. Everyone nodded and she smiled. "Okay, here's the difficult part, though. I'd like the musical to be original."

Santana frowned. An original musical? For an inaugural performance at a high school that had no history of doing anything like a musical? Granted, that was partly why Santana had wanted to get involved with the arts. A private school with a history of snobbery would have plenty of people that would thrive in a glee club. Look at what New Directions had done for her, and that was a public high school in Lima, Ohio.

"I know the idea is daunting," Brittany continued, bringing Santana's attention back to the dancer. "I was thinking that we could get a few kids to write a script with Mr. Fuller and maybe Mrs. Spencer could help with writing songs and maybe a score once we know what the musical would be about. Ms. Ridge could work on sets and costumes and Mr. Griffin could help with the acting. I'd choreograph. Santana."

Santana blinked as Brittany addressed her. Blue eyes bore into her soul and her breath caught in her throat. God, she missed having Brittany look at her like that. Wait, she was saying something.

"Sorry, what?" she asked, her voice a little croaky.

Brittany's eyes flashed with something akin to triumph and it didn't go unnoticed by Santana. She knew exactly the effect she was having on Santana.

"Santana, I'd like you to be the director."

"Me?" she squeaked.

"Yeah, you know the power that music can have and you sing really well and I think you'd be able to get the students interested in this. Plus, you're super organised and stuff."

Santana flushed with pride. Brittany really thought all of those things about her?

"Santana sings?" Mrs. Spencer asked.

"A little," Santana mumbled.

"Nah, she's amazing. She has, like, the best voice I've ever heard."

"Do you two know each other?" Mr. Griffin asked curiously.

"We went to high school together," Brittany said simply, sending a look to Santana that said so much more than _we went to the same high school_. "We were in glee club together too."

"Fantastic. Seems like we already have a good foundation," DC said. "Santana, you in?"

Santana blinked twice. It seemed like life was happening around her and she was just standing on the sidelines watching as it passed by, powerless to stop it. "Um, yeah, I guess?"

"Yay!" Brittany clapped her hands together and jumped up a little. Santana couldn't fight the smile breaking onto her face at the look of pure joy on Brittany’s beautiful face. She used to give herself a mental pat on the back every time she'd been the one to cause that look and she had to restrain herself from doing that very thing at that moment.

Everyone was getting up to leave after agreeing to have another meeting during lunch the next day.

"San?"

Santana had headed for the door almost immediately, knowing that Brittany would try and get her to stay afterwards. "Yup?"

"Could you hang back a bit? I'd like to run some things by you."

_Crap. Shit._

"Um, I actually really have to get back to grading some tests."

_Wow, you are really becoming the expert at shitty excuses._

"Oh, okay."

Santana hated the disappointment that she could hear in Brittany's voice. She'd gone through so much effort to come up with this idea and recruit the faculty members. She fought with her head and figured that she at least owed it to Brittany to try and give a working relationship between them a try. But just a working relationship. She wasn't about to make the same mistake twice.

Sure, the musical would mean that they'd have to spend a lot of time together, which could be good or bad, depending on how Santana looked at it, but she was determined to keep conversations with them on point.

"Um, sorry," Santana apologised. "How about we meet tomorrow before school?" She hoped that the suggestion came across as casual instead of the eagerness she felt at the thought.

_NO! It's a work-related meeting. It's not a date or a hangout session. It's work. WORK, Santana!_

"Yeah, okay." Brittany's smile was back and Santana nodded, turning around and walking out of the dance studio before that infectious smile took hold of her and turned her attempt at a serious face into a gooey pile of mush.


	17. Chapter 17

Santana and Bella were out to dinner with their New York family and the evening was winding down. Santana glanced at her watch.

"We need to get you home, _mija_ ," she said to her daughter.

"But it's still early!" Bella pleaded.

"We've got an early morning tomorrow, baby. I have a meeting before school."

Santana chuckled at Bella's pout.

"I don't mind taking her to school," Kurt offered. "What meeting do you have?"

"Um, just a new project," Santana replied vaguely. "Thanks, Kurt. I'd appreciate it. Bella gets cranky if she doesn't get her extra half hour sleep."

"I do not!" Bella protested. "You can't even understand Mommy in the morning."

"Oh, we know," Rachel chuckled. "Incoherent mumbling that only she understands."

Santana almost opened her mouth to say that there was one person who understood her morning mumbles, but decided that it was a bad idea. She didn't feel like dealing with her friends' – especially Kurt's – over-protective spiel.

"You never answered my question," Kurt reminded her.

_Shit. Why is he always so fucking sharp?_

"Which one, Kurtie?" Santana asked with a wink.

"About your meeting."

"Yes, I did."

"No, you just said that it was about a new project. And you should know by now that all of us are embarrassingly nosy. So, spill."

"Well, we're planning to put on a musical," Santana said softly.

As predicted, Rachel squealed and clapped her hands, Kurt smiled and leaned on his hand as he pictured costumes, Blaine looked at Kurt with a loving smile and Finn gave her a thumbs up. God, she really loved her friends, but they were _so_ predictable.

"Which musical? Do you need a vocal coach? I'm sure I can free up my schedule-"

"Berry, you're not in high school anymore," Santana interrupted, rolling her eyes. "You're my best friend and please don't take this the wrong way, but this musical is in no way your concern."

Rachel sat back, a disappointed frown on her face.

"But in answer to your questions, there are a few teachers that are involved with the vocal training, drama training and choreography." Santana rushed on before her friends asked the question she was dreading. "And I'm directing! Crazy, huh? We're doing an original musical so we're going to write the script and songs ourselves." The last part came out in a little bit of a rush, but from the looks on the faces around her, they weren't fooled.

"Who's choreographing?" Kurt asked.

"Ummm," Santana stalled, "the dance teacher?"

"Which would be Brittany," Rachel clarified.

"I like Brittany," Bella piped up with a smile.

"Hmmm and once upon a time we liked her, too," Kurt mumbled, but loud enough for Bella to catch.

"You don't like Brittany, Kurt? But she's funny and pretty and she smiles really nicely."

Santana had to agree with every point her daughter made.

"Well, she did a few things that hurt people so we're a little mad at her," Kurt tried to explain, giving Santana a warning look.

"She didn't hurt me," Bella replied. "So I think she can still be my friend."

Santana took a sip of her wine to hide the smile on her face.

"So, I take it you two have spoken?" Kurt asked pointedly, crossing his arms.

"Kurt," Blaine said in a low voice. "Santana knows how you feel about Brittany. We all do. Don't you think that she's old enough to make her own decisions about whether or not she wants to be friends with her again?"

Santana smiled warmly at Blaine. Even though a friendship with Brittany was the worst idea ever, it meant a lot that at least _someone_ at the table trusted that she was able to look after herself and deal with the consequences of her actions.

"Blaine, honey, it's not that I don't trust Santana to make her own choices. I'm just here to play devil's advocate. She put herself out there last week and look what happened."

"What happened?" Bella asked, intrigued by the confusing adult conversation going on around her.

"I'll explain everything at home, baby," Santana said, frowning at Kurt and rummaging around in her bag for her purse. "We really should go home now."

Bella heard her mother's tone and knew better than to argue. She took Santana's hand and dutifully slid out of the booth.

Santana sighed in frustration and put some money on the table. She lifted her eyes to meet Kurt's.

"There is a time and a place, Lady," she said in her infamous bitch voice. "I don't appreciate you treating me like I'm a child and I _would_ appreciate it if you kept appropriate topics at the table when my daughter is present."

Kurt just set his jaw and met Santana's gaze. She narrowed her eyes at him before walking out of the restaurant with Bella in tow.

* * *

"Mommy?" Bella asked timidly as she climbed into bed. She hadn't said anything since they'd left the restaurant. She could tell that her mom was in a bad mood and she didn't want to be shouted at.

"Yes, baby?" Santana asked, taking in her daughter's expression for the first time since she'd gone off at Kurt. She immediately felt like the worst mom ever. "Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry." She held out her arms and her daughter fell into them gratefully. "I'm so sorry, baby. I didn't mean to be so mad. I promise I'm not mad at you."

"Okay," Bella said, breathing a sigh of relief. "I thought that I was being nosy again."

Santana sat on the floor of Bella's bedroom, leaning against Bella's bed with her little girl in her arms.

"You know you can ask me anything, baby, and I'll do my best to explain it to you." She paused. "But there are some things that I think you might be too young to understand yet and I don't want you to experience that frustration. You're still the smartest girl I know, but you're still only six."

"I'm almost seven!" Bella said eagerly, as if that might help her case.

Santana smiled and ran her finger over Bella's forehead. "I know. You're growing up so fast. One day I'm going to blink and you're going to be graduating."

"Don't be silly, Mama. That's still ages away. I have to go to high school first."

"Yeah." Santana bumped her finger against Bella's nose. "So let me hold onto my little girl for a bit longer, okay? I know you love me and you worry about me, but there are some things from my past that I don't think you need to deal with."

"Okay," Bella said slowly. "This is about Brittany, though."

Santana nodded.

"Do you know her, Mama?"

Santana sighed. How much was too much? Her daughter was incredibly perceptive and maybe that was her fault for letting her hang around adults so much and not more around kids her own age.

"She's the one from high school."

"Oh," Bella said, her eyes wide. "But she hurt you?" Her brow furrowed.

Santana nodded. "We both hurt each other. Kurt and Rachel are just protective because they think that she was more wrong than me."

"Was she?"

Santana rolled her eyes. She should never have started the conversation, but the look that Bella gave her encouraged her to continue.

"I don't think so. I think we were both equally responsible for hurting each other."

"Did you say sorry?"

Santana blinked. "Um, I haven't. I… Bella, this is kinda the part that I don't think you're going to understand." She tilted her head. "Mostly because I don't really understand it myself."

"Do you still love her?"

Santana sighed. "Unfortunately, I think I do."

"Love isn't bad, Mommy. It makes the world go round."

Santana couldn't help smiling at Bella’s ability to see the silver lining on every cloud – a trait that a certain blonde dancer possessed. Santana suddenly realised that Bella and Brittany were scarily alike. Was that her fault? Had she subconsciously raised Bella to be like Brittany because she'd lost the original?

"Where'd you go?" Bella asked, her hands on both of Santana's cheeks and her eyes boring into her mom's.

"Trip down memory lane," Santana replied. She made a motion of going to bite Bella's nose off and she yelped. She wiggled out of Santana's arms and into her bed. Santana knelt next to her daughter and tucked her in.

"What are you in the mood for tonight, baby?"

Bella looked up the roof as if the star-studded ceiling would give her the answer. "Could you tell me a story from glee club?" she asked sheepishly, pulling the covers over her mouth.

Santana shook her head with a smile. "You want to hear one about me and Brittany, don't you?"

Bella nodded enthusiastically.

"Okay," Santana conceded, getting herself comfortable. "Hmmm, which one should I tell you? Ah! You remember that I was a cheerleader, right?"

"A Cheerio!" Bella exclaimed with a grin.

"Yup. Well, Brittany was a cheerleader too. Evil Coach Sue decided that she wanted to do something crazy to win our Regionals competition so she bought a huge cannon…"

* * *

Brittany lay back on her couch and stretched. She glanced at her phone and saw that it was almost midnight. She'd been trying to organise the schedule for auditions and rehearsals for the musical, but it was difficult to find times and days where both her and Santana could be there.

She smiled at the progress she seemed to have made. Santana had actually spoken to her and even smiled. And she'd caught her in a daydream too. That little fumble had given Brittany a lot of hope.

She wasn't going to mess things up this time. She wasn't going to press Santana for anything other than a professional relationship. With her as the director and Brittany as the choreographer, they were bound to spend a lot of time together and Brittany couldn't wait to remind Santana, in very subtle ways of course, how perfect they were for each other.

Yes, they'd both made mistakes and so much had changed. Like Santana having a daughter. Brittany was still having a weird time trying to wrap around that little fact. She was dying to ask so many questions but she didn't want to risk what little progress they had made.

Brittany wasn't shy to admit to herself that she'd had the idea for a musical rolling around in her head for a while, but she'd decided to suggest it to DC and the other teachers purely as an excuse to spend more time with Santana. She may not know the Santana of now as well as she knew the Santana of eight years ago, but she _did_ know that she loved music and performing. That was something that would never leave her, just like Brittany and her dancing.

She missed seeing Santana singing and dancing on stage with her. This was a way to get some of that back too.

A yawn escaped Brittany's mouth and she decided to call it a night. She had a very important meeting the following morning. With a smile, Brittany walked into her bedroom and flopped face first onto her bed.

* * *

Santana sipped her coffee and read through her ideas again. She grimaced. They'd sounded okay when she'd brainstormed last night, but now they just sounded beyond lame. She'd never directed anything before and she'd only ever been in _West Side Story_ , other than normal glee club performances. She was starting to wonder if Brittany had made the right choice in her being in charge.

"Hi, San!" Brittany bounded into the faculty lounge and sat down on the other side of the small table Santana had propagated for their meeting.

"Morning," Santana said formally, even though her heart immediately started increasing its pace and her stomach did that really annoying pull thing.

"Cheer up, it's a beautiful day!" Brittany said with a smile.

Santana allowed a small smile and took another sip of coffee. It was hard not to get sucked in with Brittany's seemingly never-ending energy, but she had to remind herself to stay on point. They were _not_ there to try on work on their relationship or friendship or whatever the hell they were. They were there to work on the musical for the school. That's it.

 _Keep singing that song, Lopez_.

Santana frowned. Her conscience was really starting to get on her nerves.

"Everything okay?" Brittany asked in concern.

Santana nodded. "Still kinda waking up."

"Oh, sorry! I didn't mean to make you get up extra early. I mean, you probably have a lot of extra stuff to do in the mornings cos you have a-a daughter and stuff."

Santana blinked. She didn't think she'd actually heard Brittany nervous before. Definitely not towards her.

"It's fine," she said softly. "I suggested this meeting, remember?"

"Okay," Brittany said with an uncertain smile. "So I worked on a possible schedule for everything and I'd like you to take a look at it."

They spent the next twenty minutes corresponding potential audition and rehearsal times with their own schedules and the availability of the auditorium.

"Hey, San?" Brittany suddenly asked.

"Yup?"

"You're an English teacher."

Santana waited for the rest of Brittany's sentence, but sometimes she needed a little reminder to finish it. Her mind always flitted to different things so quickly. "I am."

"So your students write a lot, don't they?"

"All the students write, Brittany." Santana wasn't sure where this line of questioning was headed.

"But your students do creative stuff. Like with their brains, right? And their imagination?"

"Yeah." Santana had to smile to herself. If any other teacher had been privy to their conversation, they would've probably thought Brittany was a completely incoherent airhead. The thought of people thinking that still set fire to the pit of Santana's stomach, but the idea that she could still understand Brittany caused her gut to do that worrying pull thing again. Santana cleared her throat quietly and pushed the feeling away.

"I think you should pick some students that you think would do a good job of writing the script. You know, with you."

"But what about Fuller? Didn't you ask him to work with students on the script?"

Brittany leaned forward. "I don't think he wants to. He didn't look too interested yesterday. I think he just went along with it because everyone else seemed into the idea."

"But then you should talk to him. Don't just go over his head. Maybe he didn't understand what you wanted him to do."

Brittany frowned. "I like your writing though," she murmured.

"What?" Santana blinked in surprise.

"You were always writing in high school and I know you didn't want anyone to know, that's why you only let me read it."

Santana let out a small laugh. "That's only because you wouldn't stop pestering me about it. And doing that damn pout."

Their eyes met suddenly and Santana's mouth went dry.

_Crap. Shit. CRAP! This is NOT supposed to happen! No fucking trips down memory lane, Lopez! What in the hell is wrong with you?_

Santana cleared her throat. "Anyway, that was high school. I haven't written anything in years. And I thought this was supposed to be about the kids stepping up and discovering some hidden talents."

"I know," Brittany said, sounding a little defeated. "I keep imagining that we're going to find a Mercedes Jones or Mike Chang or maybe even a Rachel Berry in the halls of this school."

Santana smiled. "I don't think the world needs another Rachel Berry. I'm pretty sure the original would get a copyright law or something passed to prevent it."

Brittany sat back and laughed. It resonated right through Santana and she took a deep breath.

 _This is not going at all according to her plan_.

Why was it so damn difficult to stay on topic? And why was it so damn easy to drift _off_ topic? Talking to Brittany had always been the easiest thing in the world for Santana. Even with almost eight years of nothing, they were able to slip back into their old routine.

It scared the shit out of Santana.

* * *

Brittany frowned as she looked though Santana's ideas, her pen sticking out of her mouth.

"They're probably not very good," Santana ventured for the tenth time.

Brittany raised her eyes and arched an eyebrow at Santana, sending her a look that told her in no uncertain terms to shut up and let her read without constant interruptions.

"Right," Santana muttered. "Shutting up. I'm gonna get more coffee. Do you… Never mind."

She walked away from the table and Brittany couldn't stop the smile from crossing her face. As weird as their whole meeting had been, she was ecstatic that she was actually sitting across the table from Santana Lopez and neither of them were crying or yelling or threatening. Granted, they weren't tearing each other's clothes off either, but Brittany considered that to be the super jackpot. If it ever happened.

Brittany definitely hadn't expected how easy the conversation would be with Santana. After everything that had happened, _especially_ the debacle of last Friday night, she'd prepared herself for one word, clipped answers and barely any eye contact. But they'd joked around, reminisced and had a normal honest-to-God conversation.

Brittany hoped so much that this was a sign of things to come.

"Okay, you've been reading the same page for like five minutes," Santana said, dropping back into her chair. "You must have _some_ feedback."

Brittany grinned and eyed the Latina. "Are you nervous, Santana?"

"No."

 _Of course she was_.

Brittany chuckled. "Don't stress yourself out. These ideas are…okay. They're not great, but it's definitely a start."

"Geez, way to soften the blow," Santana muttered, sinking in her chair.

"Oh, come on. After everything you dished out during high school, you can't take a little criticism?" Brittany teased.

Santana glared at her but didn't say anything.

"Look, San, I remember the stuff you used to write and _that_ was good. This seems like you're trying to play it safe. When have you ever done that?"

Santana looked down and fiddled with the mug in her hands.

"Don't do that," she said softly, almost too softly for Brittany to hear.

"Don't do what?" she queried.

Santana's eyes shot up. Brittany suspected she hadn't meant for her to hear that.

Santana sighed. "You can't pretend that you know who I am anymore, Brittany. I'm not who I was eight years ago. Yes, there are some things about me that are still the same, but I've changed more than it may seem. So please don't assume that you still know me like you used to."

Brittany blinked in surprise and could only watch speechlessly as Santana stood up with her bag and coffee and walked out of the faculty lounge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those interested, I've created a Brittana discord server :) Come and hang! https://discord.gg/yFtRep8
> 
> ace_hlnwst on all socials


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bear in mind that this was originally written in 2012 and back then, video stores were still a thing lol.

It was movie night for Santana and Bella. Whilst her daughter was perusing around the store, Santana allowed her mind to go over that morning with Brittany. Had she overreacted? Brittany had avoided her the whole day, not making eye contact once with her during their lunchtime meeting with the other teachers.

She'd laughed and joked around with Fuller and Ellie Ridge, the art teacher, but Santana had just sat to the side listening to everyone's ideas. Fuller, as it turned out, was actually interested in the musical, but he confessed that he didn't know much about writing. He was just an English teacher. Brittany had brushed it off, saying that it didn't matter. If he was keen to facilitate it, she'd help him.

Santana had tried her best not to let Brittany see how the way Fuller smiled at her affected her. She had _no_ claim to her, although the fire in her chest had tried to tell her otherwise. She'd left pretty quickly after that.

"Mama?"

"Yes, baby girl?"

"Where'd you go?"

Santana sighed. Nothing got past her daughter. "Just thinking about my day, baby."

"Are you back now?"

Santana dropped to Bella's height and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She smiled. "For as long as you want me."

"Forever!" Bella yelled, throwing her arms around Santana's neck and squeezing.

"Ssshhh," Santana whispered conspiratorially. "The movie fairies aren't gonna let us back here if we make so much noise."

"Sorry," Bella whispered back. "Do we need to be like ninja fairies now?"

"I think we should, just in case," Santana whispered back. "Have you chosen your movies?"

Bella nodded. "I'll show you."

The two took exaggerated quiet steps as they tiptoed towards the kids section, Santana still crouched behind her daughter.

"Phew, I think we were undetected," Santana whispered, winking at her daughter.

Bella smiled and looked past Santana and shook her head. "Someone saw us. Quick! Pretend you're invisible!"

Santana frowned in confusion and looked behind her, immediately wishing she'd taken her daughter's advice and become invisible.

"Hey."

Santana straightened up and her eyes met Brittany's. "Hey."

Santana felt a tug behind her. Bella was hiding behind her legs. She knelt down again as Bella whispered in her ear, "Is she the movie fairy police?"

"I don't think so," Santana whispered back.

"Ask her," Bella insisted.

"You know her, baby. You can ask her."

Bella peered at Brittany again and recognition hit her as a huge smile crossed her face. "Brittany!"

She clamped her hands over her mouth as the loud word escaped and she looked fearfully from Santana to Brittany. The latter just looked confused at the bizarre exchange in front of her.

" _Mija_ , grab your movies," Santana suggested, thinking that the role-playing was getting a little too dramatic for public consumption. At home, they were free to be as crazy as they wanted.

Santana stood up with a sigh and watched Bella pick her two movies and hand them to her mother. She groaned inwardly.

"Bella, really? You've seen _The Muppets Christmas Carol_ about three times this month already."

"But it's January," Bella replied, as if that explained everything.

There were some things that even Santana didn't understand about her daughter.

"I get it," Brittany said quietly.

"You do?" Santana and Bella asked together.

"Yeah, you can watch a Christmas movie as many times as you want in January because there's no time limit like in December cos you can only watch Christmas movies up until Christmas Day. But January is special cos you can watch all the Christmas movies you want until February. You're not allowed to watch Christmas movies in February cos of Valentine's Day."

Santana's mouth dropped open, but she had to concede that it made some kind of sense, in a very Brittany way.

"See, Mommy," Bella said matter-of-factly.

" _Si, carino_ ," Santana said with a resigned sigh. "Okay, what other movie do you have there?"

" _Babe_ ," Bella said proudly.

Santana glanced at Brittany and saw her look down. _Babe_ had made Brittany cry every time they'd watched it and seeing Brittany cry only made Santana cry. She looked down at her daughter. "Hope you've got your tissue box ready for this one."

"Is it sad?" Bella asked, her eyes wide.

"Super sad," Brittany answered softly. "But also super awesome and happy."

"You've seen it?"

Brittany's eyes met Santana's. "A few times when I was younger."

"Don't you wanna watch it again?" Bella asked enthusiastically. "You should come watch it with us! Right, Mama?"

"Uh…" Santana was rendered speechless. That was absolutely breaking all her rules.

"No, that's okay. I've got some movies of my own to watch. But thanks, Bella."

"Oh," Bella said, disappointed. Santana's heart lurched. She sounded just like Brittany when she was disappointed or sad. She squeezed her eyes once, hoping to heaven and hell that it wasn't going to come back and bite her in the ass. She could always use the excuse that she could never refuse her daughter.

_Pussy._

"Watch them some other time," she said quietly.

Brittany's eyes flew up in surprise. Her brow furrowed and she tilted her head. Santana nodded once and shrugged slightly. Bella watched the silent conversation with great interest.

"We'll need some more popcorn, baby. Why don't you get some?"

"Can I get the chocolate covered packet?" Bella asked, her eyes glinting mischievously.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Fine. But only juice and water tonight, then."

"Fine," Bella agreed, rolling her eyes in an exact replica of her mother and ran off.

Santana turned to Brittany who was looking at her with a confused expression. "What did you choose?" she asked.

Brittany immediately blushed and shyly held up the two boxes in her hand. Santana smiled. Of course Brittany would choose a Disney movie and _Beauty and the Beast_ was one of her favourites. She frowned at the other.

" _High School Musical_? But you've seen this like a hundred times. You know _all_ the words."

"Yeah, but I'm gonna watch it from a choreographer's perspective. We have so many dancers and I need to find a way to fit them all on the stage without them bumping into each other."

"I'm sure you'll be fine," Santana said. "But we'll get that too. I actually don't think Bella's seen it." She looked up as she thought. "Not sure how that's possible, actually."

Bella bounded back, out of breath and holding her packet of chocolate popcorn proudly.

"Have you seen this one, baby?" Santana asked, holding up the box.

She shook her head. "What is it?"

"It's awesome!" Brittany cut in before Santana could answer. She watched as Brittany spewed out virtually the whole storyline in two minutes and smiled as her daughter's eyes got bigger and bigger. Towards the end she started clapping her hands and bouncing a little on the balls of her feet.

"Mommy, it sounds so amazing. Please can we watch it? Please?"

Santana pretended to consider and made the mistake of looking at Brittany and Bella's matching puppy dog eyes, complete with pouts.

"Okay, that is so not fair. You can't both use that look. Totally not fair," she mumbled, holding her hand out to Brittany for the movie.

Brittany's face broke into a huge smile and she clapped her hands excitedly as Santana went to pay for the movies.

* * *

The trio walked back to their apartment building, Santana walking slightly behind Bella and Brittany. The two had not stopped talking since the video store.

Santana wondered for the thousandth time how in the hell she'd ended up spending movie night with her daughter and surprise guest, Brittany S. Pierce. Oh right, she was a sucker for either of them being sad or disappointed. The weirdest thing was how Brittany and Bella were acting like they'd known each other all their lives.

_In what universe would I have ever believed that I’d be watching Britt and Bella harp on about Pokémon and pond fairies on the way back to our apartment for movie night?_

The chances of Bella and Brittany meeting again were obviously higher than usual, especially since Bella had commented about her a few times since she'd met her in the elevator, and Bella always followed up on interesting people she'd met. Santana’s ‘someone’ from high definitely qualified as an interesting person. Then Santana had mentioned that she and Brittany were going to be working on the musical together, so _she'd_ be spending more time with Brittany and, by extension, so would Bella on the odd occasion that she’d visit Santana at school.

Santana stepped ahead of the two chatterboxes and opened the door to their building because it wouldn't be the first time that either of them would have walked into a door because they were so engrossed in whatever it was they were doing.

"Hi, Noddy!" Brittany and Bella said in unison.

Santana stopped and turned around, staring at disbelief at her daughter and her…at Brittany. They looked at each other and burst out laughing.

_What are the odds that both of them have the same nickname for the doorman after only having met twice?_

"This is so weird," she muttered, continuing to the elevator.

Any hopes of their talking ceasing once they reached the apartment was pointless. They were both like Energizer bunnies. Santana had lost count of the number of topics they'd covered. It was really starting to scare her a little how much Bella was like Brittany.

Santana dropped the movies onto the coffee table and walked into the kitchen to get started on the popcorn. Bella and Brittany were sitting on the couch, debating which of the Powerpuff Girls was the coolest.

"We all know that Buttercup is the coolest," Santana called as she perused the fridge for a bottle of wine. "She doesn't take any nonsense."

Choosing a bottle of sweet white wine, Santana walked to the island and looked up to see Brittany and Bella doing a twin eye roll.

"So predictable," Brittany sighed.

"Excuse me?" Santana asked with a smirk, leaning down to get a wine glass.

"Britt's right," Bella said, matter-of-factly. "You would choose Buttercup cos she has the baddest attitude."

"Worst attitude," Santana automatically corrected her daughter, pouring herself a glass of wine. She smiled at how her correction actually made less sense.

Brittany scrunched up her face. "That sounds more wrong."

"I like my way better," Bella said, not fazed.

Santana smiled and shook her head. "Okay, time for the movie, I think. Bella, which do you want to watch first?"

" _High School Musical_!" Bella yelled and Brittany giggled and clapped her hands in agreement.

Santana walked into the living room and put the movie in. The screen flashed on and the menu popped up. Santana pushed play and walked back to the kitchen to get the wine and popcorn. She poured a glass of juice for Bella and took it to her.

Brittany's eyes were glued to the screen and Santana had to smile. Her feet were twitching and Santana saw the telltale sign that she was dying to get up and dance. She put the juice in front of her daughter, who was similarly engrossed.

"Want some wine?" she murmured to Brittany.

Brittany nodded, her eyes not leaving the screen. Santana smiled and walked back to the kitchen. Some things hadn't changed. Brittany had always gotten so involved with movies. The only was Santana had been able to distract her was with-

 _Whoa. Where in the_ hell _did that thought come from?_

Santana flushed and opened the fridge to get the wine out. She poured another glass and took a swig out of the bottle for good measure. She walked with both glasses back to the living room.

"I don't like her," Bella stated, pointing at Sharpay.

"Me neither," Brittany agreed, grabbing a handful of popcorn and nibbling each piece. Santana's gut did the pulling thing again. Brittany nibbled every piece of popcorn. She never took a mouthful because she got to taste each piece of popcorn equally and the other pieces wouldn't feel less appreciated. Santana groaned inwardly. She knew this had been a bad idea. She set down the wine glasses and sat in the only available spot in the couch – next to Brittany.

She watched the movie in silence, listening to Brittany and Bella dissect everything about the movie. She smiled a lot behind her wine glass. When the movie ended, Bella demanded that they watch it again, but they all needed to sing and dance. Santana sighed and moved the coffee table against the wall to create a big space in front of the TV. Brittany was immediately up and stretching. Santana let out a chuckle and went to grab two bottles of water from the fridge. Bella would definitely need it and if Brittany was an unchanged as she seemed to be, she'd need it too. They pushed play and skipped to all the songs. Brittany was in her element, knowing pretty much all the choreography from watching it so many times. Bella tried her best to emulate her, and she didn't actually do a bad job. When she skipped a beat, she huffed and a determined line crossed her face. Brittany always paused the movie and took her step-by-step through the dances until Bella had it. Before she knew it, Santana glanced at the clock and saw that it was after nine.

" _Mija_! Bed time!"

Bella stopped dancing and looked up at the clock and pouted. "Come on, Mama. Just one more time. Please?"

"Baby, you're gonna be exhausted tomorrow if you don't get some sleep."

"So…let me be sick?" Bella suggested innocently, but Santana caught the mischievous glint in her eye.

"I will do no such thing. Nice try, missy. PJs. Now."

Santana held firm, even against the double pout that was being sent her way. She congratulated herself. As Bella was getting ready for bed, Santana started clearing the glasses and plates away. Brittany flopped onto the couch and closed her eyes. Santana walked into the kitchen and started washing up.

"Hey."

Santana jumped in fright at the soft voice that sounded very close, dropping the plate she had into the water and splashing herself. She hadn't even heard Brittany come into the kitchen.

"You scared me," Santana said, clearing her throat quietly.

"I gathered."

Santana quickly brushed the water off her top and resumed doing the dishes. As uncomfortable as it should've felt with Brittany a few inches away from her, leaning against the counter, just watching her, Santana felt strangely calm. Was it because she was getting used to being around Brittany again? Maybe. Maybe it was the wine? Yeah, maybe the wine.

"You've done a great job with her, San," Brittany murmured. "She's amazing."

Santana smiled genuinely. She'd take any praise that had to do with Bella. "Thanks."

"I'm sorry about this morning," Brittany said after a while.

Santana paused momentarily. She had to be careful about how this came out. "It's fine. We just need to remember that this is about work and nothing else."

"What?"

Santana almost winced at the hurt in Brittany's voice, but after everything that they had _both_ been through, anything other than a professional relationship would just spell disaster. She wasn't ready to go back to how things were, regardless of how she felt about Brittany. She also had Bella to think about now.

 _Cop out_.

Santana closed her eyes and took a breath.

"I should go," Brittany said abruptly. "Thanks for the wine and the movie. See you tomorrow."

"Bye," Santana said, not moving. She hated herself for deliberately creating tension, but she was protecting herself. At least, that's what she told herself. It had nothing whatsoever to do with the terror of how comfortable and familiar it had been hanging out with Brittany all evening.

_Still singing that song, huh, Lopez?_

She finished up the dishes and was drying her hands when Bella came into the kitchen in her pyjamas, already looking sleepy.

"Where's Britt?"

"She went home, baby. She's also got work tomorrow." Santana knelt down and ran her fingers through Bella's hair. "Did you have fun tonight?"

She smiled sleepily. "Yeah. Britt's super fun. We should invite her for every movie night."

"Uh, we'll see. She might be busy. But right now, you need to get into bed."

They walked to Bella's bedroom and Santana tucked her in. "Song, book or story tonight?"

"Song," Bella said, tucking the covers underneath her chin. "From the movie."

Crap. Santana wished she'd paid more attention to the movie now. She couldn't remember any of the songs. She hummed a little to herself as her memories organised themselves.

"Ah, got it," she said finally. She sang softly and watched as Bella fell into a deep sleep.

About half an hour later, Santana looked up from her laptop when a soft knock sounded at her door. She sighed and stood up. She put her hand on the handle and paused. She already knew who was on the other side of the door and was fairly certain about the purpose of her visit.

Would she be able to stick to her guns? Or would her emotions rule her? Santana shook her head and opened the door. Playing the 'what if' game would get her nowhere.

"Can I come in?" Brittany asked timidly, her eyes sad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ace_hlnwst on socials  
> Join the Brittana Discord Server! https://discord.gg/WUpexmr


	19. Chapter 19

_Almost eight years before…_

_Brittany closed the door behind her and collapsed onto the floor, sobbing. This couldn't be happening. She was going to wake up from some terrible dream and Santana would be lying next to her, being beautiful and sexy and not sad or angry._

_Her chest hurt so much. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to cry, it hurt to move, but Brittany could barely even focus on anything other than Santana's last words to her._

"And where would you be without me, Brittany? Back in Bumfuck, Ohio, hooking up with anyone willing to spread their legs."

_She didn't mean it. Surely she didn't really believe that about Brittany? They had been completely faithful to each other since the end of junior year. Even if they'd been able to, which technically they probably could have, they didn't want to sleep with anyone else. They just wanted each other. Brittany had honestly believed that nothing could ever break them apart._

_And she'd gone and done what she'd believed impossible. She'd broken them up._

Uh, you had some help in that department.

_Santana was just protecting herself. She didn't mean what she'd said about hating her or calling her a slut. She was just lashing out. Right?_

_Brittany sniffed and a thought entered her head – what if Santana did mean what she'd said? What if that was how she saw Brittany and their relationship? What if she really didn't want Brittany anymore?_

_A sob caught in Brittany's throat and she choked. Her chest hurt a little more at the thought. Santana had told her to go. She'd told her to leave and never come back. Brittany didn't want to, but she always did what Santana said._

_Maybe that was why she was so mad? Brittany had decided to do something that Santana hadn't told her to do and maybe she'd just gotten scared? Brittany sat up. She could fix it. Santana just needed time to calm down and then she'd see that she'd overreacted. Right?_

_Brittany raised her head and looked around her. Where the hell was she supposed to go now? Everything she had was in the apartment behind her, including the love of her life._

_Brittany quietly got onto her knees and pressed her ear against the door. A fresh set of tears leaked down her face at the heart-breaking sound of Santana's uncontrollable crying. It seemed ridiculous that both of them were hurting so much and they couldn't comfort each other. They'd_ always _comforted each other when one of them was sad. They were experts._

 _Brittany didn't feel like much of an expert at anything at that moment. In fact, she felt like she was the most useless, hopeless person on the face of the earth. Why had she said all those horrible things to Santana? Where had they even come from? She didn't believe any of that. All she remembered was how much her heart was hurting and how Santana's words were making it hurt more and more and everything that she'd spent her life denying about Santana because she_ knew _who the real Santana was, came bubbling to the surface and she'd let rip. She'd called Santana every name that people in school had called her behind her back, names that had made Santana cry in Brittany's arms many times. And she'd become exactly like those people._

_What had she done? She must've told Santana wrong. It had sounded like a good plan in her head, but she hadn't counted on Santana not wanting her to go on tour._

_Why didn't Santana want her to go? Just because she didn't want Brittany to leave her?_

_Brittany frowned and sat down on the floor again. Santana had told her that she wasn't enough of a reason for Brittany to stay, but she was the_ only _reason that she'd given. Just her. Normally, Brittany would fly to the moon and back a gazillion times for Santana because she really was everything to her._

_But there was something nagging at Brittany. She definitely remembered emphasising what an opportunity this was for her – once in a lifetime. And she wouldn't be gone forever! And with phones and Skype and emails, they could've kept in touch all the time! But Santana hadn't even thought about how they could make it work. She'd gone straight into defence mode and accused Brittany of not loving her enough._

_Brittany shook her head slowly and stood up. Santana was being selfish. She wasn't allowing Brittany even the chance to go after her dream. What kind of relationship would they have if Brittany always bowed down to whatever Santana said? She knew that she wouldn't be able to do that forever and what would that mean? An unhappy relationship, maybe even a breakup? Brittany couldn't fathom ever being in a relationship with Santana and not being happy. They had been in the honeymoon phase for over a year and things had been perfect._

Life isn't perfect. And life doesn't wait for you _._

_Brittany needed to do this. She was almost certain that if Santana hadn't jumped to conclusions, they would have been able to make the distance work. That was why she hadn't thought that her going on tour would be a problem! No. Brittany was going to do this. She was going to miss Santana like crazy, having never been away from her for so long, regardless of the fact that they had just broken up._

_Brittany walked slowly down the stairs to the ground floor of their apartment and out into the cool night air. She'd have to wait until Santana left before going back to fetch all her things. She went to a coffee shop close by and sat there for a few hours, drinking hot chocolate. Coffee would just make her more jittery than she already was._

_She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and pulled it out. Kurt was calling her. She took a deep breath before answering, "Look, Kurt, I know you're probably calling because of Santana, but I've made my decision. She won't support me and I'm done living my life through her. It's time I followed my own dream. I-I'm sorry that it had to come to this, but if I don't do this now, I'll always regret it and that's not fair to either of us." She paused briefly. "Take care of her, okay?" she added quietly._

_She hung up and dropped her head into her hands, her shoulders shaking with sobs._

* * *

_The tour was everything Brittany could have dreamed of and more. She should've been in her element. She was training with some of the top choreographers around and she was surrounded by dancers so much more experienced and talented than her._

_Yet she rarely smiled and had maybe laughed once or twice in the first three months of the tour. People around her had started to think of her as a loner and let her be. She was still appreciated as an amazing dancer and that was one thing that definitely didn't suffer. When she was dancing, she was a different person. All the passion that she usually held for life was pushed into her dancing. She became a shell of her former self._

_They were flying to Sydney and Brittany was listening to music, not feeling at all sleepy. She felt a tap on her arm and glanced at the person to her left. She was one of the other dancers, but Brittany hadn't bothered to learn many names. She waved and smiled. Brittany cracked a half smile in return and went back to looking out of the window._

_She tapped her arm again. Brittany whirled around and glared, but a glare just looked wrong on her so she was pretty sure she looked constipated or something._

_The girl started saying something, but Brittany couldn't hear because of her music._

Seriously? Can't she see that I can't hear her? Maybe if I ignore her, she'll leave me alone.

_Unfortunately for Brittany, the girl didn't seem to take the hint. Eventually, Brittany felt kinda bad and pulled out her earphones._

"… _she totally shouldn't have landed it, but she did and I haven't looked back since."_

" _What?" Brittany asked in confusion._

" _Oh, you took your earphones out," the dancer said, blushing. "I-I didn't notice."_

" _Okay…" Brittany said slowly._

_The brunette looked nervous._

" _Did you need something?" Brittany asked. The chick was weird._

" _Uh, no," she replied, drawing out the 'no'._

_Brittany looked at her expectantly._

" _Okay, so I've been kinda watching you since we were in Philly and I have to say that I kinda can't stop thinking about you cos you're like the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and I only came over here cos I had two of those little vodka things and I saw you had your earphones in, so even if you didn't hear me I could at least say I spoke to you." She didn't take a breath during her entire speech and the words were spewed out so quickly that Brittany almost missed some of them._

_Brittany blinked. She definitely hadn't expected that._

" _Okay, now that I've embarrassed myself, I'm gonna go jump out of this plane," the girl said quickly, standing up._

" _Wait," Brittany found herself saying._

_The girl sat down._

" _I'm Brittany," she said, holding out her hand._

" _Yeah, I kinda know that," the brunette said with a blush. She slipped her hand into Brittany's and squeezed slightly. "I'm Sara."_

* * *

"Can I come in?"

Santana stepped aside and let Brittany step inside her apartment. She closed the door.

"Did you forget something?" Santana asked, hoping that she had indeed simply forgotten something.

Brittany just went to the couch and sat down, her hands clasped tightly in her lap and her eyes staring straight ahead. Santana sighed quietly. Brittany was gearing up for a serious talk. She was gonna need some help.

"Wine?"

Brittany nodded once and Santana went into the kitchen, taking her time with pouring them each a glass and finishing half of hers before topping it up. She walked back into the living room once she'd decided she'd stalled enough and put Brittany's glass in front of her on the coffee table. Santana sat down in the far corner, hoping that it didn't look like she was trying to put as much space between them as possible.

"Do you believe in fate?" Brittany asked after a few minutes, her voice shattering the tense silence.

"Uh, yeah, I do," Santana replied truthfully. She paused. "Do you?"

Brittany nodded. "I believe that everything happens for a reason, whether or not you have control over it. Every person you meet, every decision you make, every direction you walk in." She caught Santana's eye and held her gaze. "Santana, I need to tell you something."

"Okay," Santana whispered.

_Oh, God. This is going to be so bad._

Brittany turned her body so that she was facing Santana and closed her eyes as she took a deep breath. When she opened her eyes, she locked her gaze on Santana's again.

"I'm sorry."

It was so sincere, so honest, that Santana's heart started racing.

"I'm sorry that I left you. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry that I didn't include in my decision. I'm sorry that I missed almost eight years of our lives together. But most of all, I'm sorry for not fighting for you."

Santana's gut was jumping up and down.

"Having said that…"

Santana frowned. That didn't sound like it should follow an apology.

"…I'm not sorry for going on tour. It was absolutely the right decision for me and I know now that now more than ever."

"Wait, what?' Santana asked, baffled. "You just said-"

"I said that I was sorry that I left _you_. I'm not sorry that I left, though. If I could do it again, I wouldn't have left you, but I still would've gone on tour."

"Brittany, that the same thing! You left me _because_ you went on tour. What would been different?"

"I said that I was sorry for not fighting for you," Brittany said quietly, dropping her eyes and looking her hands. "Regardless of how things ended, I should've fought you on your ultimatum." She looked at Santana again. "I would've asked you to wait for me." She inched forward slightly, a move that didn't go unnoticed by Santana. "Would you have waited for me, San?"

Santana swallowed hard and her heart started thumping like crazy.

_This is against the rules! Dammit!_

"Santana."

She had to look at her. That's what Brittany was asking. If Santana looked into her eyes, she couldn't lie and Brittany knew that. Santana had known her answer as soon as Brittany had asked the question, but if she answered, it could change everything.

"Look at me."

Santana met those clear blue eyes that she could get lost in.

"Would you have waited for me?"

"Yes." She breathed out the answer, not trusting her voice.

Brittany smiled. It was one of the smiles that Santana knew was only for her. It was the smile that said _I would do anything to kiss you right now_. Santana may have opened a can of worms with her answer, but she couldn't let Brittany touch her, let alone kiss her. If that happened, bad things would ensue. And by bad things she meant really, really good things. Things that she shouldn't want or think about.

Brittany moved forward again on the couch and Santana pressed herself against the armrest in an attempt to maintain distance between them.

"Brittany," she said warningly, but to her it sounded more like a plea.

Brittany took Santana's wine glass from her hand and put it on the table. Santana didn't protest, although her brain was screaming at her to do something. Brittany caught Santana's gaze again and reached for her hand. Santana took a sharp breath in at the contact. Brittany's soft fingers traced over every knuckle, every nail until she interlinked their fingers and brought the back of Santana's hand closer to her waiting lips.

"Wait."

Santana closed her eyes and thanked whatever strength she'd summoned to do that. She opened her eyes and gently disentangled her hand from Brittany's. She looked disappointed and hurt.

"Don't you love me?" she asked.

Asked by anyone else and it would've come across as arrogant, but asked by Brittany, she made it sound so vulnerable.

 _Yes, yes, YES! A million times yes! I never stopped loving you_.

"Brittany, it's not about that," Santana said slowly. "We…we can't do this." She gestured between them. "It's not a good idea."

"Why not?" Brittany asked in confusion. Her eyes widened. "Oh my God. You're not single, are you? Fuck, I can't believe that I almost-"

"Brittany!" Santana interrupted, "I am single, but that's not the reason."

"Is it Bella? Cos I thought we got along great. And I would never-"

"Brittany!" Santana interrupted again in irritation. "It's not about Bella. It's about me and I don't think that I can be with you again." She said it slowly, her voice trailing off towards again, hating how cold it sounded.

Brittany didn't say anything and Santana didn't dare look in her eyes because every ounce of strength that she was desperately holding onto would just evaporate.

"Is it because of Friday night?" Brittany asked quietly and Santana winced at the hurt laced in her voice.

"Um, partly, but Friday night shouldn't make a difference."

"Why not?"

"Because for all I knew that girl was your girlfriend," Santana explained, finally voicing the thoughts that had been running around in her since the weekend.

"She's not," Brittany said quickly.

"That's not the point," Santana replied, holding up her hand. She paused, making sure she had the right words. "I don't know anything about your life over the last eight years. When we broke up, I almost died. I was _so_ devastated. I didn't leave my bed for a week, didn't eat, didn't sleep, just cried. I almost flunked out of college because I just didn't care anymore."

"San-"

"Brittany, just let me finish, okay? I know that we both said some really hurtful things that night. I know I didn't mean them. I was just…angry at how you felt you could make this life choice without even talking to me about it first. You just blindsided me with your decision and I had to not only deal with you leaving, but not seeing you for a year. I just… I snapped."

Brittany's eyes were sad when Santana met them.

"But I forgive you, San. I forgave you the minute I left. But I knew that I still had to go because if I didn't, that regret would've killed us."

"I know," Santana said simply. "But I learnt to survive without you the hard way. If I had to get you back, I wouldn't be able to let you go again."

Brittany scooted closer to Santana eagerly. "But you won't have to! I'm not going anywhere! I'm staying here for good."

"And what happens when you get another call, Brittany?" Santana said softly. "What if you get asked on tour again? You're still young and so, so talented. I would want you to go. If you didn't, I'd know that it was because of me. And that's not fair to either of us."

Brittany frowned. "When we broke up, you told me that you didn't want me to go, and that if I did, we were done. And I made the mistake of believing you. Now you're telling me that if it happens again, you’d _make_ me go, even though you wouldn't want me to? Even though you wouldn't be able to?"

"This is all hypothetical," Santana explained. "But yes, I would want you to follow your dreams. You were right," she said, lowering her head in shame. "I was living my dream and you were just living through me."

Brittany's eyes widened. "The phone… That was _you_?"

Santana nodded. "I asked Kurt for his phone to call you, but you started speaking before I could say anything. I just dropped the phone when you were done. I was so broken."

"Shit."

"Brittany, look." Santana took a deep breath. "I love that we're talking, really I do. I was absolutely terrified that things were just going to get more awkward and weird if I spoke to you and we brought up all our history, but now that we are talking, I actually feel a lot better. Like a weight has been lifted or something."

"You mean like working out?" Brittany asked.

Santana couldn't help but smile. "I guess. We're working out our problems. Besides the musical, we work together. Spending the entire time dodging each other at school will take its toll. Plus, I know it's hard for you to not be friends with everyone."

"I like having friends," Brittany mumbled.

"I know you do," Santana said, gathering all her strength for her next sentence. "Maybe we could try being friends again?"

Brittany looked up hopefully, searching Santana’s eyes for any hint of teasing.

"Really?" she whispered.

Santana nodded. "Just friends, okay? We were once friends. Maybe we can get back to that."

"Before or after we started sleeping together?" Brittany asked with a grin.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Definitely before. Nice try."

Brittany shrugged. "Can't blame a girl for trying. You've always been super sexy, but now you're stunning. And you totally have that milf thing going on."

Santana's throat went dry and she slid off the couch and away from Brittany's mesmerising eyes, grabbing her wine glass as she made her way to the kitchen. She downed the remaining wine and hurriedly poured another glass and stood at the island, watching Brittany watching her.

"You can't do stuff like that, Britt," Santana said weakly. "Seriously. Friends."

Brittany raised an eyebrow. "Fine," she said, nodding. "But I wasn't flirting, San. It was just an observation."

_Yeah, right. You forget that I know how your mind works, Brittany S. Pierce._

"So, we're friends?" Brittany asked with a big smile.

"We're colleagues," Santana replied and Brittany's face dropped. "We're colleagues for now," she amended. "I think we need to work up to friendship, okay?"

The smile was back and Brittany nodded enthusiastically.

"All right," Santana breathed, taking another sip of wine.

She hoped to God that things weren’t going to blow up in her face.


	20. Chapter 20

Brittany grinned widely at everyone as she walked through the school the next day. Her smiling at everyone wasn't unusual, but the odd skip she took every other step was different. Santana had agreed to at least try being friends. It was so much more than what she'd hoped for.

She knew that by spending enough time together, Santana would remember what it was like to be together and, one day, she'd hear Santana say those three magical words that used to set Brittany's heart fluttering every time she said it.

_Getting ahead of yourself, aren't you?_

Brittany shook off the little voice in her head. Maybe she was, but whatever. Progress was progress. Her goal for the next week was to convince Santana that friendship was a good thing for them. It would be difficult, Brittany knew, for her to reel in her overwhelming feelings for Santana. She'd never been good at hiding things from her. If she found out that Brittany was still hopelessly in love with her and wanted more than anything to be with her again, she might bolt and Brittany would never see her again.

"Hey, San!" Brittany said cheerfully as she bounded into Santana's classroom. It was lunch so she knew there wouldn't be any kids inside. But five pairs of eyes told her otherwise. "Oh," she said softly. "Sorry, I didn't realise you were busy."

"It's okay," Santana called, stopping Brittany's hasty departure. "These are the students that Mr. Fuller and I have picked to help put the script for the musical together."

"Oh!" Brittany said with a smile. "That's awesome." She looked around. "Where is Mr. Fuller?"

"He, uh, is having lunch," one of the students answered nervously.

Brittany frowned. When she'd spoken to Fuller, he'd been very enthusiastic and agreeable about the amount of time that he'd have to put into getting script done. It didn't bode well for a positive start.

"Uh, guys, how about we pick this up after school. Meet back here?" Santana asked, glancing at Brittany's moody expression.

"Unbelievable!" Brittany exploded as soon as Santana closed the door behind the students.

"Britt, calm down," Santana said, sitting down at her desk. "He's entitled to his lunch break, as are all of us."

Brittany sighed in exasperation and continued her pacing in front of Santana's desk. "You and I are both working during every single lunch break-"

"Well, we have the most responsibilities," Santana interjected.

"But Ellie's already working on sets, Mrs. Spencer is making the band practice during lunch and Griff is working on dialogue and tone and stuff and-"

"Brittany."

She immediately cut her tirade and took a deep breath. Santana's tone told her that she needed to chill. And she did, but she just wanted everything to work out. Besides the fact that she _needed_ it as an excuse to spend time with Santana, she really wanted to put a musical on.

"I know how much you want this. And I agree that it's important that everyone pulls their weight, but it's still early days. You've spoken to Fuller and he's said that he's going to do what it takes, right?"

Brittany nodded and stopped her pacing, leaning against the first desk. Santana looked at her with a curious expression and Brittany immediately felt self-conscious. She started looking down at her shirt, thinking she may have spilt something.

"What?"

Santana smiled. "You've just grown up a lot. I've never seen you go on a rant like that. That was normally my department."

Brittany blushed. "Well, I just think that this musical could be a chance for the school to see how stereotypes aren't so fixed. I mean, what if there are kids in this school that can sing and dance, but are too scared to try anything for fear of rejection?"

Santana blinked. "You're right. But that's why this idea of yours is so amazing. You're giving people like that the opportunity to discover their talents and come out of their shells in a safe environment."

Brittany gave her a big smile. She loved how Santana still understood her.

"So, what did you want to tell me?"

"Huh?"

"You came in here. Did you want to tell me something?"

"Uh…" _Busted_. "Um…"

Santana smiled and shook her head.

"Wait! I totally remember," Brittany said quickly, making something up on the spot.

Santana looked at her expectantly.

"I think that we should tell each other something about the last eight years. One story a day," Brittany said, proud of her cleverness. "You know, so that we can get onto that road to friendship."

Santana smiled. "Okay, you first."

"Okay… Ummm… I twisted my ankle quite badly on the last Madonna show before coming back home. I was so scared that I wasn't going to be able to dance again."

"Wow, that's scary. Everything's okay now, right?"

Brittany nodded and smiled. "I took the time back here to rehabilitate myself properly and build up the strength in my tendons again. I was pretty much back to normal when I got the call about _Dancing With The Stars_."

"Wait, what?"

"Nice try, San," Brittany said, shaking a finger at her. "That's one thing. Your turn."

"Um, okay. Oh! You'll never guess what my biggest craving was when I was pregnant."

Brittany mentally went through her Santana-pedia. "Breadsticks?"

Santana nodded. "With cucumber and guacamole."

"Ew," Brittany laughed, sticking out her tongue in disgust.

"Yeah, now I can't even look at guacamole without feeling nauseous."

They chuckled and their eyes met. It felt so natural to be joking around and reminiscing without any awkwardness.

"Any ideas about the script yet?' Brittany asked suddenly, remembering her goal. No pressure – just show Santana that she could be a friend.

"Uh, no," Santana replied, shaking herself. "Today was really the first meeting. We were just discussing schedules, really."

"Okay. I just realised that we can't really have auditions and stuff like that until we at least have a script idea with characters. We can't cast people in roles that don't exist."

"I know," Santana replied. "I did mention that time was going to be short so hopefully they'll take some initiative and come back to me and Fuller with something."

"But what if they don't?"

Santana opened her mouth and closed it again.

Brittany sighed. "Promise me something?"

Santana raised an eyebrow.

"If I ask you, will you write the script?"

"Britt, I don't know…"

"Come on, Santana. We both know that you'd write the best script, especially for these kids. And we can't wait around forever. If we don't have a script in two weeks, promise me you'll do it."

Brittany could see Santana was struggling to find a reason not to. She couldn't understand why she was so nervous. Her writing had been amazing in high school, and she could only have gotten better.

"Look, Britt. How about we see what the kids come up with first before we start doubting their abilities, okay?" Santana eventually said diplomatically.

Brittany shrugged in agreement.

"Remember what you said to me a few minutes ago – there might be some kids at this school who have serious talent but are scared of rejection to follow them. What kind of example are we setting if we bypass their attempts because we think they're not good enough?"

"I get what you're saying, San," Brittany argued. "And you're right, but this musical also needs to be amazing. We need to set the bar. We need to get people interested and enthusiastic about something like this becoming permanent at Griffin Hill."

"With you and me running it, it can't be anything but amazing," Santana smirked.

The bell rang and Brittany jumped off the desk, almost slipping and struggling to regain her balance.

"Woooo!" she giggled, standing up and grinning.

Santana had a hand over her mouth to stop herself from laughing out loud, but her shoulders were shaking from the effort.

"Wow, if that's how you react when I _almost_ fall, I'd love to know what you would've done if I actually did fall."

"I'm sorry," Santana said between breaths. "It just looked so funny!"

Brittany's eyes narrowed. "You making fun of me, Lopez?"

"No," Santana said with a smile.

"I think you are. And I think you should be punished." She took a menacing step forward and Santana's eyes widened, the smile slowly dropping from her face.

Brittany took another step forward until she was next to Santana's chair. Santana’s knuckles were white as she gripped the armrests. Brittany leaned down until she was next to Santana's ear and she could hear her quick breathing.

"Boo," she whispered.

Santana visibly jumped and Brittany chuckled softly before standing up and walking out.

* * *

_Holy hell. What the fuck._

Santana tried desperately to calm her rapid breathing as Brittany walked out. How did things go from normal to crazy in two seconds flat? And damn her body's betrayal. She was pretty sure that Brittany had seen how she'd reacted to her closeness. That hardly helped her plan to keep things professional between them.

She just needed to remind herself why she was doing things this way. Why was she again?

Santana shook her head of the fog that had settled since Brittany had descended upon her.

_Focus. Focus. Fucking focus._

_Brittany._

Santana groaned in frustration and let her head fall on the desk.

* * *

The next week passed by with no major incidents. Brittany was pretending that everything was normal and Santana was grateful.

The musical was getting off the ground, but _very_ slowly. First off, Fuller had gone and broken his leg doing something as ridiculous as base jumping. In New York, really? That meant that Santana was in charge of the script as well as the director of the whole show. The directing part was cake, but the scriptwriting was proving to be incredibly taxing and frustrating. Santana was doing her best to be patient, but her team were coming up with half-assed ideas that they couldn't elaborate on and so far, she'd only had two proposals. Brittany's promise was coming back to haunt her.

It wasn't that she was afraid of writing a script. She was terrified of it being complete shit. Brittany had been the only one to ever read her stuff and she'd been biased anyway.

Plus, she knew that once the script was done, she'd have to be in full director mode. She was already staying later after school than normal and Bella had noticed. After years of always having her mom to herself at night, now she had to share her with schedules and videos of singing and dancing. In the beginning, Bella had joined in, but now she mostly just sat at the dining room table drawing, colouring or reading, sending her mother glances every now and then. It didn't go unnoticed by Santana, but she didn't know what else to do. She'd committed to directing the musical. She couldn't let Brittany down now.

Santana was sitting in the auditorium, watching as Mrs. Spencer directed her singers. She was doodling on a page when she felt someone sit down next to her.

"So, why did you choose Bella?"

Santana blinked and turned to Brittany. "What?"

Brittany indicated Santana's page. She glanced down. She'd absently written Bella's name over and over again. Santana blushed and dropped her pencil.

"That's my question for today," Brittany added with a smile. She put her elbow on the table and leaned her head on her hand.

"I named her after my _Abuela_ ," Santana said quietly, tracing her finger over Bella's name.

Brittany frowned. "Your mom's mom?"

Santana nodded.

"So does that mean she…?" Brittany wasn't sure how to word the question.

"Uh, unfortunately not," Santana said, her chest starting to hurt at the painful memories.

"Maybe she still will," Brittany offered.

Santana shook her head and closed her eyes, willing the impending tears to stay away. "I doubt that. She died two years ago."

"Oh, San," Brittany said softly.

Santana felt Brittany looking at her and she didn't need to meet the blue eyes to know that they were filled with sorrow. Looking at Brittany would only break the dam that she was desperately trying to keep intact.

"I've dealt with the fact that I didn't get my wish," Santana almost whispered.

Brittany didn't have to ask what Santana meant. She recalled sitting on the stage at McKinley in a circle with the New Directions just after Dave Karofsky had tried to kill himself. Her wish had been for her grandmother to love her again, but no matter the attempts from Maribel, Isabella had refused to budge. When Santana's mother had called her to tell her that her _Abuela_ had died in her sleep, Santana hadn't really computed the news. She'd gone to the funeral and suddenly broken down more than she'd expected, realising that one of the people that had shaped her into the person she was, was gone and they hadn't dealt with their issues.

"Brittany, do you think people can change?" Santana asked quietly.

"Of course."

Santana paused. "What if you don't like that change?"

"Then…maybe they aren't the person you knew. But you also need to ask yourself why you don't like the change – is it because of them or because of you?"

Santana looked at Brittany and smiled.

"Your _Abuela_ didn't like the change in you because of her, not because of you," Brittany added. "I remember what you told me; you said that you were the same person you were a minute ago, but she couldn't see past the fact that you were embracing the best part of you. She couldn't see that you were still such an amazing person because _she_ didn't like the change. And that's always gonna be on her, San. I know you're not supposed to speak badly about dead people and stuff, but she lost out on getting to know the awesome person her granddaughter became."

"Thanks, B," Santana said softly, sniffing.

She caught a huge smile cross Brittany's face that she immediately tried to hide.

"What?" she asked curiously.

"Nothing," Brittany replied quickly, trying to look serious but failing miserably.

"Come on. Spill."

Brittany allowed the grin to take over her face again. "You called me B."

Santana blushed. "Sorry," she mumbled.

"No, no, don't be!" Brittany said quickly. "I loved it when you called me that. You were the only one. I…I like that you're the only one to call me that."

"Oh. Well, you're the only one who's ever called me San."

"I know," Brittany beamed. "So we have nicknames for each other. Does that mean we're friends?" she asked hopefully.

Santana rolled her eyes playfully. Brittany had been hinting the last two days that they should upgrade their colleague status to friends and Santana had always come up with reasons why they shouldn't. But she'd always done it in a light tone, which meant that Brittany knew she was teasing. It had turned into a game. They had evolved into friends again without actually making a big deal out of it.

"Well, I don't know about you, but my friends always make sure that I have coffee if I'm going to be working late," Santana teased.

Brittany frowned. "But you keep saying we're not friends." Her eyes sparkled mischievously. "So that means I don't have to get you coffee."

"Damn," Santana chuckled. "Thought I had you on that one."

"I'm too smart for you now," Brittany cheered.

A screech from the stage caused both teachers to turn their heads quickly.

"What happened?" Santana asked into the mic.

"A minor loss of pitch," Mrs. Spencer said airily.

"Don't you think she looks like Ms. Darbus from _High School Muscial_?" Brittany whispered in her ear.

Santana jumped slightly, not expecting Brittany to be so close.

"Uh, yeah. She totally does," Santana replied, trying to correct her breathing.

"But at least she's not as eccentric."

Santana cocked her head. "I dunno, B. Give her time. I'm sure it'll bubble to the surface."

"Miss Lopez!"

Santana sat up. "Mrs. Spencer?"

"You're an alto, correct?"

"I can be." She wasn’t strictly anything since she could hit a long range of notes.

"Would you mind helping Lisa here with her runs? I can't get quite that low. My soprano isn't trained for that."

Santana smiled. "Sure." She stood up. "You sure she's not eccentric, Britt?"

Santana spent the next half hour with Lisa, working on her breathing, pitch and runs.

"You're really good, Miss Lopez," Lisa whispered, glancing over to Mrs. Spencer as though she was afraid the music teacher would take offence to her comment.

"Thanks, Lisa. You know you are, too. You just have to believe that you're as good as you are. When I was in high school, I walked around liked I owned the place. It gave me sense of confidence and that transcended to my singing. The first place where nerves will come out is in your voice. _I'm_ telling you that you're good and now _you_ just need to believe it." She leaned closer. "Watch this."

She turned to where Brittany was still sitting at the table towards the back of the auditorium and opened her mouth.

_Hey soul sister, I don't wanna miss a single thing you do tonight._

She sang the line in a slower tempo, letting her voice hang on _hey_ and _thing_. Her strong voice echoed throughout the auditorium, drowning out anyone else's attempts to sing. Brittany cheered loudly from the desk, clapping her hands high above her head. Santana sent her a grin and turned back to Lisa.

"You've just gotta feel it. You gotta tell yourself, _I am the best singer at this school and I'm gonna show everyone what I'm made of_."

Lisa grinned and nodded. She and Santana ran through some more melodies and the improvement was remarkable.

"Guys, we should call it a day," Brittany said into the mic.

Santana glanced at her watch and her eyes widened. It was already close to five. She was supposed to fetch Bella from Kurt's at four-thirty. She rushed an apology to Lisa and raced back up to the desk, taking two steps at a time. She grabbed her phone from next to a surprised Brittany and waited impatiently as it rang.

"Kurt!" she said quickly as soon as he answered.

"Oh, you remembered we existed," Kurt said sarcastically, with only a slight playfulness. He was pissed. Well, more than likely, Bella was pissed and that had pissed Kurt off.

"I'm sorry," Santana apologised quietly. "Please put her on?"

"Good luck," Kurt said.

"Hello?" Bella's voice was flat.

"Hey, baby," Santana said softly. "Are you okay?"

"Fine."

Santana swallowed. She was in deep shit. She had _never_ , in six years and nine months, forgotten her daughter.

"Baby, I'm so sorry," she said earnestly. "I lost-"

"You lost track of time," Bella interrupted.

Santana winced. She felt like she was being scolded. "I'm leaving school now, okay? I'll come pick you up and tonight we're gonna do whatever you wanna do. Anything."

"Anything?" Bella asked after a while.

"Anything, _mi amor_."

"Okay," her daughter conceded eventually.

"Thanks, baby girl," Santana said gratefully. "I'll be there in about half an hour, depending on how long the cab takes, okay?"

"Okay," Bella replied, sounding a little less pissed.

"I love you, Isabella."

"Love you, Mommy."

Santana breathed a sigh of relief as she hung up.

"Sounds like you just averted major disaster," Brittany commented, handing Santana's bag, which was on the other side of the table, to her.

"Hope so. I've been neglecting her this week. I knew that she was getting upset about it, but I didn't do anything. I feel like an idiot."

"Why didn't you do anything?' Brittany asked curiously, following Santana out of the auditorium.

"Well, I'd committed to being director and you needed me to look over the singers and dancers so that I'm on board when it comes to the auditions. You've put so much effort into this. I didn't wanna let you down."

"Santana, I could slap you."

She stopped suddenly, causing Brittany to bump into her.

"Excuse me?" she asked, turning around and her eyes narrowing.

"I would _never_ ask you to sacrifice time with Bella because of this musical," Brittany said, meeting Santana's gaze. "What on earth made you think it was okay for you to do that? If anything, you should've told me and I would never have given you those videos."

"Britt, be careful what you say, okay?" Santana's voice was low. "You're overstepping."

"Why?" Brittany pushed, taking a step forward. "Because I wasn't there for eight years? Well, get over yourself, San. I'm here now, and deny it all you want, we _are_ friends. And I always told you what everyone else was afraid to. Why would I stop doing that? No one else has the guts to tell you that you don't have to be in control of everything all the time. _Especially_ when it involves time away from your daughter." Brittany paused only enough to take a deep breath before starting again, "I may not know the circumstances around Bella's conception and all that stuff, but I _do_ know that she is the best thing that you have _ever_ done and if you fuck that up because of this musical, I _will_ slap you."

Brittany's chest was heaving with exertion and Santana just held her gaze. They stared at each other until Brittany's breathing returned to normal. At some point, both of them move slightly closer, their eyes never leaving each other's. Breathing picked up slightly as heart rates increased.

At the last second, Santana pulled back, frowning at herself. "I can't," she whispered. "We-we-we can't." She looked down. "I have to go."

She turned and walked away, mentally kicking herself for letting Brittany get to her like she always knew how to. But more so, she was kicking herself for pulling away. She had wanted more than anything in the world to kiss Brittany, to just feel those lips against hers one more time. They'd always fit so perfectly together.

_Fuck, shit, shit, fuck._

What was wrong with her? First, she lost herself in a project, mostly because it was Brittany's project. Then she forgot her daughter because said project was so time consuming.

She felt her phone vibrate. She opened a text from the blonde dancer herself.

_I don't know what you're so scared of but one day you will let me kiss you._

Santana swallowed. Butterflies started their rampage in her stomach. There was a big part of her that hoped that one day would be very, very soon.


	21. Chapter 21

Why was it so damn hard for her to stick to her original plan? Why couldn't she just suck it up and be a friend instead of some overprotective, know-it-all ex-girlfriend?

 _Because you are a know-it-all ex-girlfriend, doofus_.

Brittany sighed and threw the remote on the couch in frustration. Things were not going at all how she'd planned. Yes, Santana had pushed her buttons. Yes, she'd needed a frigging wake up call. Seriously, Brittany was supposed to be the dumb one, for fuck's sakes. She had every right to tell Santana off because she knew she was right – no one else would. That was why Santana hadn't said anything.

And then she'd almost kissed her.

_Stupid, stupid!_

But she'd wanted it too. Brittany could tell. That was pretty much why she'd sent the text. Santana could pretend all she wanted and deny her feelings all she wanted, but Brittany was ready to wait for her for as long as it took. She wasn't going to give up, no matter how much Santana fought her.

Brittany sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She needed to do something. Dancing wasn't right for what she was feeling. She rummaged through her closet and pulled out some sweats and pulled on a pair of trainers. She pulled her hair back into a tight ponytail and grabbed her phone and keys. Her music was already blasting by the time she was in the lobby and pushed open the door, heading left and immediately breaking into a jog.

* * *

"Hey, it's Britt!" Bella exclaimed, pointing at a blonde who had just exited their building and run in the opposite direction.

"Oh," was all Santana could manage. She watched as Brittany's perfect form disappeared around the corner and shook her head.

"We should've invited her tonight," Bella mused as they walked into the lobby.

"Uh, why, baby?" Santana asked, trying to sound casual. The _last_ thing she needed was to spend cosy family time with Brittany. "I thought tonight was about us?"

"Tonight's about _me_ ," Bella clarified, glaring at her mother. "Cos you forgot me."

"Bella," Santana whined. "Seriously. I feel so bad about that. Do you really have to keep reminding me?"

"Yes," Bella said sternly, pushing the button for the elevator. "Because you could forget me again and then what if someone else takes me?"

Santana froze in fear.

_Jesus Christ. She's right! What if she hadn't been with Kurt? What if I was supposed to fetch her at school and she'd ended up waiting over an hour?_

"Mommy?" Bella's voice was alarmed.

"Baby, I'm so sorry," Santana blubbered, tears streaming down her face. She knelt next to her daughter. "You have every right to be mad at me. If anything happened to you, I-I-I…I don't know what I'd do."

Bella took in her mother's face and her expression softened. She ran her finger over Santana's forehead and her mother gave her a small smile.

"You don't have to forgive me cos I really did mess up, but I'm promising you that I won't _ever_ forget you again. And I know this musical has been taking up a lot of my time, but when I walk through our door, I'm gonna be all yours."

"Every night?"

Santana paused. She didn't want to lie to her daughter and break her heart. "As much as I can, baby. There will be some nights where I might have to stay a little later than usual, but I'll always make sure that you're safe with someone and that I let you know _before_ if I'm going to be late. Is that okay with you?"

The elevator opened and they walked in.

Bella sighed. "It's not forever, right?"

Santana shook her head. "Definitely not. And maybe some nights that I have to stay late you could come and hang out with me?"

"Will Brittany be there too?"

Santana tried hard not to let the pang of hurt show. "Sure," she said brightly.

"Okay," Bella replied enthusiastically.

Was it happening already? Was Santana losing her daughter because she wasn't cool enough? She had to make tonight so awesome that Bella had no doubt how much she loved her.

"What are we doing first?" Santana asked.

"We have to get into our jammies," Bella instructed.

Santana opened the front door and Bella raced in, heading straight for her bedroom. Santana put her bag on the couch and went to her own bedroom. She pulled out her fluffy yellow winter pyjamas because she knew that those were the type of pyjamas that Bella had in mind.

"Okay, I'm dressed!" Santana called from her room. "What next?"

"Mommy, do you have a tie?"

Santana frowned. "I don't think so, baby. What do you need one for?"

"Blindfold," came the muttered answer.

Santana started getting a little worried. What devious planning had her daughter been masterminding?

"I have a scarf?" Santana suggested, pulling out a beautiful silk scarf that her mother had given to her for Christmas the previous year.

"Perfect!" Bella exclaimed, bounding into Santana's room. She held out her hand and Santana handed it to her, looking at her in confusion. "Okay, now we need food."

"What do you want?"

"Pizza."

"Okay," Santana said with a smile. She could do that. She walked to the couch to get her phone.

"With Dots on."

Santana froze and turned slowly to her daughter, who was standing in the doorway with a smirk.

"And chocolate-covered popcorn."

"Uh…" Santana was at a loss for words. "I don't think they make those kinds of pizzas, baby girl."

Bella stuck out her bottom lip.

"But I think I could make it work," Santana said quickly. "I'll call for the pizza and then I just need to run to the store, okay?"

Bella nodded with a smile.

"Do you want anything else from the store?"

"Ice cream. And purple soda."

Santana groaned inwardly. Her girl was killing her. There was only one store that sold the purple soda Bella wanted and it was at least thirty blocks away. The store she'd planned on going to was only three blocks away.

"Sure thing," she said. She walked towards her bedroom.

"Where are you going?" Bella asked, blocking her path.

"Uh, I'm going to put my clothes back on."

"Why?"

 _No, no, please. Don't make me do_ _that._

"Uh, because I need to go to the store?"

"So?"

"Really, Bella?"

"I think you look nice," Bella replied, folding her arms across her chest and giving a perfect imitation of a nonchalant Santana look.

"Well, thank you, baby, but I don't think that people out there would agree."

Bella shrugged and Santana groaned.

"You are so mean," she grumbled, grabbing her purse and phone. "Can I at least put on some shoes and a jacket? You don't want me to get sick, do you?"

Bella considered her mother's proposal and nodded. Santana quickly grabbed a pair of Uggs and her longest jacket – not that it did much to hide the bright yellow pyjamas underneath. She sighed. She'd walked right into this torture. Her daughter had definitely inherited her revenge streak.

"Whatever I want," Bella reminded her.

"I'll call for the pizza on my way and Oliver can keep it till I come back. Dots, chocolate-covered popcorn, purple soda. Did I forget anything?"

"Ice cream!"

"Right, right, got it. Love you, baby. Be safe. Lock the door and don't open it for anyone, all right?"

"I won't. Love you too!" Bella called as the door closed behind her mother.

* * *

Brittany had been running for what felt like an hour, but it only been half that when she checked her phone. She was breathing hard, mostly because she hadn't really been jogging, more like sprinting around the city.

When she was a couple of blocks from her apartment building, she slowed down to a jog. The last thing she needed was stiff muscles the next day. She rounded a corner and collided with a blur of black and yellow.

 _Did I just run into a bumblebee?_ Brittany thought as she landed on her ass.

"Crap! I'm so sorry!"

Brittany looked up. "Santana?"

"Oh, hi," she replied, looking uncomfortable.

Brittany allowed her eyes to travel over Santana's attire. "What are you wearing?"

"Oh, uh…Bella's idea of payback," she mumbled.

Brittany pushed herself off the ground and Santana stepped forward and took her arm to help her up.

"It's okay," Brittany said quietly. She didn't want to cause her to bolt again. "You don't have to help me."

"I knocked you down," Santana replied in an equally quiet tone.

Brittany just let the most beautiful woman in the world help her up even though she could've done it easily by herself. She relished the feeling of Santana's fingers around her arm. God, she missed those fingers.

 _Gutter mind_.

Brittany smiled to herself. That wasn't actually what she'd meant, but those digits had definitely been more than capable in _that_ department.

"You okay?"

Santana's voice shook Brittany from her fantasy and she blushed, nodding. Luckily, in the rapidly fading sunlight, her reddened cheeks weren't so visible, but Brittany was pretty sure that Santana had seen them anyway.

"Where are you going dressed like a bee?"

Santana chuckled. "I'm going to Howard's. They're the only store in a fifty-block radius that stocks this purple soda that Bella loves. Oh, and I need to get Dots, chocolate-covered popcorn and ice cream."

"Sounds healthy."

"The Dots and popcorn are toppings for a pizza."

Brittany made a face. "Normally I'd be all over that, but popcorn on pizza just sounds gross. Dots could be cool though."

"I think she's just doing it so that I'd look like an idiot dressed in bright yellow pyjamas and carrying junk food."

Brittany laughed. "Well, you definitely don't look like an idiot. You're totally starting a new trend. I'm gonna wear my pjs and Uggs to work on Monday."

Santana smiled. "Uh, sorry for knocking you down."

Brittany shrugged. "I don't mind. It means I got to talk to you."

Most people wouldn't be able to tell when she blushed, but Brittany S. Pierce wasn't most people. She had a frigging doctorate in Santana Lopez. And Santana was doing her best to cover up the blush that had crept across her beautiful face.

"Santana," Brittany began, "I know that I may have overstepped earlier today, but I still know you and sometimes you need a kick up the ass to make you see how idiotic you're being. And if I'm the only one who has the guts to do it, then I will. I won't let you sacrifice your relationship with Bella because of me or this musical. Got it?"

Santana blinked, clearly surprised by the authoritative tone that Brittany had taken. She nodded.

"Um, Britt, could we walk and talk? I need to get these things for Bella. I don't want her to be at home by herself for too long. I'm already in shit. Taking extra long to get supplies might just be detrimental to my wellbeing."

Brittany chuckled and turned. "Lead the way."

They walked two blocks before Santana spoke, "What happened today, or what almost happened, can't happen again, regardless of what you think."

"Why?' Brittany asked curiously.

Santana looked at the blonde in surprise. "B-B-Because, Brittany, you broke my heart. How am I supposed to trust you with it again knowing that you can turn around and break it like you did the last time?"

Brittany stopped, but Santana kept walking, shoving her hands deep into her coat.

"Santana!" Brittany called, jogging to catch up to her. "Do you really think that I'm going to break your heart again?"

"I don't know!" Santana said in exasperation. "Did you plan to break it the first time?"

Brittany had to give Santana the point for that comment.

"I just…it's not just me anymore. If I let you back in, I'd be letting you into Bella's heart too. If something happened, it wouldn't just be me you'd be hurting and I'm sorry, but I will not risk my daughter."

"Santana, I know I've said sorry, but just tell me what I need to do to prove to you that I would do _anything_ for both you and Bella. Santana, I-"

"Don't," Santana interrupted, holding up a hand. "I don't want you to say that."

"Why not? It's the truth."

"Is it, Brittany? Is it really? Are you one hundred percent _sure_ that you feel that way? After everything that's happened, that's still how you feel?"

"No."

Santana's eyes went wide. She obviously hadn't been expecting that answer. "Th-then why even-"

"I don't _still_ feel the way I used to," Brittany cut in. "Everything that I feel for you is more. At first, I didn't think it was possible, but now there's just more of you to l-"

"Don't," Santana said, shaking her head. "Please don't say it."

"Why, because saying it will make it real? Santana, listen to me," Brittany said firmly, grabbing both of Santana's hands and turning her around to face her. "I know that I hurt you. It kills me every day that I put you through that pain. I know we said that we were both to blame, but I still left. I caused the whole fucking breakup because I refused to discuss the biggest decision of my life with the person that meant _everything_ to me. The person who still means everything to me," she added quietly.

"Brittany, no, please," Santana pleaded, trying to pull her hands away, but Brittany held them tighter.

"I love you, Santana," Brittany said, looking straight into Santana's dark eyes. "I never stopped, not in eight years. I could never stop loving you. It's part of who I am."

Santana's closed her eyes, shaking her head as tears started to slip down her cheeks.

"I know that you may not love me back, but I'm willing to spend the rest of my life showing you that you can trust me with your heart again. You can trust me with both yours and Bella's. You're my match, Santana Lopez, in every way possible. You're my soulmate."

Brittany pulled a sobbing Santana into a bone-crushing hug, squeezing her eyes shut and taking deep breaths to stop her own tears from escaping. She'd bared her soul to the love of her life and she wasn't sorry. It may take a year, ten years, twenty years, but she wouldn't give up on Santana. She couldn't.

She didn't let go of Santana, who was clinging to her like she was her lifeline. Brittany would give anything to be her real lifeline again.

"No matter what happens, I'm gonna be here," Brittany whispered into dark hair. "I will _never_ leave you again. I know you need a friend right now, so that's what I'm going to be for you, okay? I'll be anything you need."

"I-I-I need time," Santana mumbled into Brittany's neck. "Please give me time."

"Of course," she replied immediately, stroking Santana's back soothingly.

After a few more minutes of holding each other, Santana pulled away gently. "I should go," she said quietly, unwinding her arms from around Brittany's waist and putting them back into her coat pockets.

Brittany nodded. "Do you want me to come with you?"

Santana looked down, making arbitrary patterns on the ground with her shoes. She looked up, meeting concerned blue eyes and nodded.

* * *

Santana had never felt so drained in her life. She felt physically weak. The massive crying session with Brittany – in the middle of a frigging New York street, no less – had sapped all of her energy.

Once again, Brittany S. Pierce had found all the loopholes around the stronghold that protected her heart. She'd done it in high school and she'd done it again, even though the fortification had been increased ten-fold.

Brittany's declaration of love had Santana wanting to scream her love right back, but also had her wanting to run a million miles in the other direction. Brittany really did have the power to hurt her, probably even more than before because now she wouldn't be dealing with just her own heart anymore. Bella had a huge capacity for love, just like Brittany and Santana just knew that her daughter would fall hard for her, just like she had. Brittany had a vice-like grip on her heart that she refused to let go of.

The walk to and from the store had been quiet, but Santana had been grateful for Brittany's warm presence beside her. As they'd walked, Santana had been thinking hard. She may be stubborn on her decision to not get back together with Brittany, but she honestly felt that it was the best course of action for her and Bella's sakes. She couldn't go through risking her daughter's heart, never mind her own – again.

Yes, she was still hopelessly in love with Brittany, but denying it meant that any hurt was her own cause. If Brittany had to leave again, she wouldn't be responsible for any pain that Santana went through – that would be on her. And that she could deal with. Sure, Brittany had sworn that she wasn't going to leave again, but that lingering pain of her leaving the first time stayed with Santana and probably always would. Regardless of what the future brought, Santana would probably _always_ be worried that Brittany would leave. That was why she couldn't risk being with her again. She wouldn't survive being hurt like that a second time.

They arrived at their apartment building and Santana saw Brittany wave slightly to Nod...Oliver. She forced herself to return his smile as she picked up the pizza she'd ordered. The ride up the elevator was quiet until the doors opened at Santana's floor. She stepped out and paused.

Brittany's hand came up to stop the doors from closing as she watched Santana.

"Bella wants to see you," Santana finally said. She wasn't lying exactly. She just didn't want to say goodbye to Brittany yet.

Brittany nodded. "How about I go up and shower and then I'll come back down?"

Santana nodded quickly and turned towards her apartment. Was she a glutton for punishment? She didn't want a relationship with Brittany, but she still wanted to be around her all the time. It was as though if she could always see Brittany, she wouldn't disappear. She couldn't leave again.

Of course, Santana knew she was being utterly ridiculous, but now that Brittany was back in her life, even in a friendship capacity, she couldn't let her go. Not again.

Brittany had apologised for not fighting for Santana. Yes, Santana had tried to contact Brittany, but she had also driven her away with her vicious, vicious words.

Santana quickly put the bag and pizza box on the ground, turned and ran back to the elevator. Brittany stepped out of it when she saw Santana coming. She threw her arms around Brittany’s neck and pulled her tightly to her.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered into Brittany's neck. "You apologised to me for everything, but I never said how sorry I was for not fighting for _you_. I'm so, so sorry, Britt."

"Ssshh," Brittany soothed, her arms wrapping around Santana's waist. "I know you're sorry, San. We both made mistakes, okay? Now we can move forward."

Santana pulled away and Brittany tenderly tucked her hair behind her ear.

"As friends," Brittany added with a smile. "Because I know that's what you need me to be."

Santana nodded, not trusting her voice.

"I'll see you in a bit, okay?" Brittany said softly, releasing the Latina.

Santana nodded again and reluctantly let Brittany go. _Oh boy, I’m in big trouble._ Two hugs and she was already addicted to her again. She'd forgotten how amazing Brittany was at giving hugs. She enfolded herself into Santana every time and Santana felt blissfully smothered.

She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes, making sure that all traces of tears were gone and that she didn't look like she'd had a complete breakdown. She picked up the discarded brown bag and pizza box and unlocked the door.

"Mommy!" Bella squealed once Santana had closed the door.

"Hi, baby," Santana replied with a smile, her daughter's enthusiasm infectious.

"Did you get everything?" Bella asked, pulling down on the brown bag.

"Did you think I wouldn't?" Santana teased, grateful that her voice sounded normal.

"No," Bella said slowly, but smiled.

Santana lifted the lid of the big pizza box, smiling at the aroma. "Baby, you sure you want to ruin this perfectly awesome cheese pizza?" she asked, slipping her jacket off and stepping out of her shoes, grateful for the underfloor heating.

"Yes!" Bella said eagerly. "It's an experiment!"

"And what happens if you don't like it?"

Bella paused. She clearly hadn't thought of that.

"I have a suggestion," Santana ventured. "What if we put your toppings on one slice and you can see if you like it? That way we don't waste pizza or candy if we don't like it?"

"You're so clever, Mommy," Bella grinned.

Santana rolled her eyes. Normally she'd come back with a retort, but she didn't want Bella to have any extra ammunition to use against her.

She put the ice cream in the freezer and poured her daughter a glass of her favourite purple soda.

"Did people laugh at you, Mommy?" Bella asked innocently, taking a big gulp of soda, leaving her with a purple moustache.

Santana smiled. "No, they all thought I was starting a new fashion trend. I did knock someone over, though."

"Oops."

"Luckily, she was super nice about it. Okay, you're getting the first slice, _mija_."

Santana decorated the biggest slice in the box with Dots and chocolate-covered popcorn, the chocolate almost immediately melting from the heat and running into the cheese. Santana tried not to grimace as she handed her daughter a plate with the candied pizza slice. She watched with great interest as Bella took a tentative bite. After a few chews, her face broke into a smile.

"It's awesome! Try!"

Santana hesitated before taking a bite and had to acknowledge that it wasn't terrible. A soft knock was heard at the door and Bella looked at Santana in confusion, who in turn tried to look nonchalant.

"Don't you wanna answer the door, baby?" she asked.

Bella jumped of the chair and opened the door. She squealed in delight when she saw Brittany standing in the doorway, complete with blue duck pyjamas and an armful of movies.

"Do you think I could crash your party?" Brittany asked Bella.

"Yes! Yes!" Bella yelled, clapping her hands.

"You're not going to ask your mom?' Brittany queried, allowed herself to be pulled inside.

"Nope. I'm in charge tonight."

Santana shook her head and rolled her eyes. She watched as Bella showed Brittany their new brand of pizza and Brittany pretended to never have heard of such amazing toppings before. She smiled at Santana, who returned it warmly. She felt better.

They spent the rest of the evening playing games, watching movies, singing and dancing. Santana couldn't remember when last she'd had so much fun. Yes, the night had been about her reconciling with Bella and making up for a big mistake but having Brittany over had made it infinitely more fun. Bella and Brittany had discussed many strange things that Santana hadn't even attempted to understand. Brittany and Bella had teamed up against Santana when they'd played Go Fish and even though she'd cottoned on pretty quickly, she let them beat her, even throwing a mini tantrum that an apologetic hug from her daughter had quickly dissipated.

Bella had fallen asleep across the couch as they'd been watching _Toy Story_. Her head was in Santana's lap and her feet were resting in Brittany's. Santana was gently stroking her daughter's head, letting the strands of dark hair fall through her fingers.

"Thank you," Brittany murmured.

"For what?" Santana replied, meeting blue eyes.

"For letting me in."

It was such a simple response, but Santana understood the weight of it. She smiled and nodded.

It was a start. It wasn't perfect – in fact, it was pretty messed up, but it was better than nothing.


	22. Chapter 22

Friends. She could do that. They were friends. Just friends. A friend with a daughter. A friend she was in love with. A friend that she wanted more than _anything_ to press up against a wall and fuck senseless. A friend she was dying to hear moan her name in that low, throaty voice of hers.

Brittany groaned and buried her face in her pillow. It was Monday, which meant back to reality after an amazing weekend with Santana and Bella. They hadn't really done anything out of the ordinary. After Friday night's heavy soul baring session and fun evening with the two Lopez's, Saturday had been spent walking around Central Park and impromptu choreographing sessions, which Bella had only too happily contributed to.

Brittany wasn't surprised at how quickly she'd fallen for mini-Santana. She was, after all, pretty much a replica of her mother and Brittany had loved Santana for twenty years of her life. Brittany loved how Santana let her hang out with Bella and didn't need to know what was happening all the time. She didn't check every five minutes to make sure that Bella was ok. She trusted her.

Sunday had been spent just chilling at the Lopez residence. Santana had some papers that needed grading – her lunches and afternoons had been taken up with the musical so she'd fallen behind on that. She'd asked Brittany if she wouldn't mind keeping Bella company whilst she worked, to which she had readily agreed.

Brittany had allowed her mind to think of them as a family a few times over the course of that Sunday. Things were so natural. Santana had made them all lunch, they'd all sat around the table and chatted comfortably and Santana had been so relaxed. Brittany _loved_ what motherhood had done to her. Back in high school and even when they'd moved to New York, Santana had been the super bitch to everyone, but had been the sweetest, most loving person with Brittany. Now she was like that all the time because of Bella. She couldn't compartmentalise who she was anymore because Bella was her everything.

Brittany's alarm buzzed and she sat up. She'd woken up about thirty minutes before her alarm from a _very_ vivid dream of her and a certain dark-haired, dark-eyed beauty in her classroom. There had been a desk, a chair and very little clothing. Brittany shook her head and sighed. Her sexual frustration was building and there was only so much that her fingers could do. She needed to feel Santana between her legs _so_ badly. Being around her had only increased the insatiable urge of just _wanting_ her.

Brittany groaned again. Definitely a cold shower.

* * *

Santana hummed as opened her classroom early that Monday morning. She was relieved that she'd been able to catch up on her grading the previous day. Brittany had been amazing with Bella and her daughter hadn't held it against her at all that she'd had to work on the weekend.

"Uh, Miss Lopez?"

Santana looked up at the door and smiled at Hope, one of her students who was on the script writing team.

"Hope, what's up?"

Hope stepped in tentatively. "Uh, I really hate to do this to you, Miss L, but my parents have told me that I can't be part of the musical anymore."

Santana frowned. "Why not?"

"Well, it's taking up a lot of time and they're afraid my other work is going to suffer."

"Has it?"

"No," Hope said slowly, drawing out the word, "but-"

"But you don't want to go against your parents," Santana finished, nodding in understanding. Her parents hadn't been very happy with her being part of Cheerios _and_ glee for fear of it adversely affecting her 3.8 GPA, but she hadn't backed down.

Hope shrugged. "I'm really sorry, Miss L."

Santana smiled. "Don't worry about it. Maybe next year? You definitely have the talent."

Hope beamed and nodded, turning around and walking out of the classroom, almost running into Brittany.

"Hey," Santana greeted with a smile and she yawned upon entry into her classroom. "Whoa. Bella didn't tucker you out yesterday, did she?"

Brittany suddenly flushed and shook her head, looking down.

"What's up?" Santana asked, her brow furrowing at Brittany's unusual response.

"Uh, nothing," Brittany replied quickly. She cleared her throat. "Did Hope come to give you some ideas?"

Santana decided to let Brittany's obvious lie pass and she slumped into her chair. "Quite the opposite, actually. She's pulling out."

"What?"

"Yeah, her parents think she's got too much on her plate."

"Well, I guess that's understandable. I mean, we were pretty involved in school too."

Santana shrugged. "I can't really force her to stay, especially if it's gonna cause shit with her parents. I definitely don't need any parents drama."

Brittany smiled and Santana returned it, her morning brightening at the sight of Brittany’s mesmerising smile.

"Don't forget your promise," Brittany said in a lilting voice as she turned around to head to the studio.

Santana rolled her eyes. "I still have till Friday."

Brittany grinned. "We both know that I'm gonna win, so you may as well start writing the script and save everyone some time."

"Sure of yourself, are you?" Santana smirked.

"Oh, always," Brittany replied with a wink. She paused at the door. "Lunch?"

Santana nodded.

"See you then!" Brittany called, disappearing out the door.

The stray thought entered Santana's mind before she could stop it, _I could get used to seeing her every morning._

Santana stood up and walked to the filing cabinet behind her door and perused her lesson plans for the week. Of course, she knew exactly what she was teaching, but she always liked to refresh her mind in case she'd missed a small detail.

"And this is where our soon-to-be head of department, Santana Lopez, spends most of her time," DC said as he walked into Santana's classroom, unaware that she was standing behind the door.

She froze. Soon-to-be head of department? But she'd barely been there a year! She must've heard wrong.

"Hmmm, I could've sworn I saw her walk past my office fifteen minutes ago," DC mused.

"Looking for me?" Santana teased, stepping out from behind the door with a smile. DC jumped and Santana chuckled. "Too early for surprise attacks, DC?"

The principal grinned. Santana loved the easy, yet respectful relationship she had with him. He'd taken a bit of a risk on her, but she'd delivered tenfold.

"Good morning, Santana," DC said. "I trust you had a good weekend?"

Santana smiled and nodded. "Very, actually."

"That's good to hear. I actually came to introduce you to someone. Santana Lopez, meet Kate Remington, our new English teacher."

Santana hadn't realised that there had been someone standing behind DC until she stepped into Santana's view. She blinked. Twice. Wow.

"She's replacing our dear Mr. Fuller after his unfortunate…misadventure," DC said. "Direct from Yale. We're very lucky to have her."

Santana swallowed and collected herself. She held out her hand. "Pleased to meet you."

Smoky brown eyes met hers with a soft smile. "Pleasure," she replied.

Santana smiled back. Wow. Again. The woman was stunning. Santana didn't often get reduced to speechlessness as a result of a beautiful woman, but Kate Remington was definitely smoking.

"Welcome to Griffin Hill," Santana said. "I'm sure you'll fit in perfectly here."

"I hope so," Kate replied. Her voice was very melodic. "It'll take me a while to get used to how everything works around here. It's not ideal starting this late in the year, not that I'm complaining," she added quickly with a grateful look in DC's direction. "I had actually almost given up hope of finding a job."

"Well, I think we can expect some great teamwork from the two of you," DC said, clapping his hands. "Santana, do you think you could find some time to get Kate acquainted with the syllabus and where we stand right now?"

"Uh, I'd love to help you out, DC, but I'm pretty swamped with the musical and getting finals prepared," Santana apologised. "Did Mr. Fuller not have his own lesson plans?"

"Well, they're not exactly as comprehensive as yours," DC replied.

"Well, thank you, but I've already committed to the musical with Britt and I've invested too much into it to turn my back on it now." _Not to mention it would mean less time with Brittany_. "I can see how things go this week and maybe we can sort something out next week?"'

DC pulled his mouth in an odd way that Santana knew to mean that he wasn't very pleased but was too much of a nice guy to actually say it. Remembering what she'd overheard, she made a decision.

"You know what?" she said quickly. "I'll talk to Brittany. I'm sure she can man the fort for a few days while I get Miss Remington up to speed on things. The two of us run the whole thing together anyway. She knows exactly where I stand."

DC nodded and smiled. "Excellent. Miss Remington, I will bid you adieu at this juncture and leave you in the very capable hands of Santana."

"DC, you've been reading those romance novels again, haven't you?" Santana teased, walking back to her desk.

The principal laughed loudly as he walked out the door.

"Okay, so why don't you start by telling me about what Fuller's lesson plans told you?" Santana suggested, sitting in her chair and stacking her plans for the day in the right corner.

"Well, Mr. DeCosta wasn't exactly exaggerating when he said that Mr. Fuller's plans were… incomprehensive."

Santana raised an eyebrow. "Okay, I'll email you what I've got planned for this week, but we don't teach the same literature so the actual content will be different, but you can always use the format, if you'd like."

"Sure," Kate said, smiling.

Santana smiled back and flipped her laptop open. She chuckled quietly as her background loaded. Brittany had obviously changed it without her knowing. It was a picture of Bella and Brittany pulling their best pouts at the camera. Santana hated that they both knew her ultimate weakness and wouldn't think twice about using it against her.

"What an awesome background," Kate commented.

Santana smiled. "Yeah. I'd take credit, but this is the first time I'm seeing it."

"She looks like your daughter," Kate ventured.

Santana went into her documents and nodded. "She is."

"And the blonde is your partner?"

Santana froze.

_Firstly, that's pretty impressive gaydar. Second, do Britt and I look like a couple? Third, why did my heart flutter at the thought of someone else, a stranger, assuming that?_

"Uh," Santana stammered.

"Oh, got it," Kate said, putting a hand up. "Sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

Santana smiled weakly. No one at Griffin Hill knew about her and Brittany's history other than they'd gone to the same high school and she was quite happy to keep it at that. Not that she was afraid of what her principal and colleagues would think, because that was something that never bothered her – she just didn't think that it was any of their business. Schools were just as bad as any other business when it came to in-house gossip.

"What's your email address?" Santana asked, changing the subject completely.

Kate told her and there was an uncomfortable silence.

"Um, look, Santana, I hope that my assumption didn't make you uncomfortable," Kate apologised softly. "I sometimes let my mouth run away with me and the last thing I want to do is make a bad impression on my first day."

"You didn't make me uncomfortable," Santana said, leaving it at that.

"Okay," Kate replied, her voice a little unsure.

"The plans should be popping up in your inbox," Santana said, turning around and leaning back in her chair.

"Um, thanks," Kate muttered. "So I'll see you after school?"

Santana nodded. Kate turned around slowly and walked out the door. Santana frowned after her.

* * *

"The new chick's staring at you," Brittany whispered as she and Santana ate their lunch in the faculty lounge.

Normally, she and Santana would meet either in Santana's classroom or in the dance studio, but Santana had needed to make photocopies which had altered their lunch venue.

Santana glanced at the new teacher, who quickly ducked her gaze, instead focusing on what one of the History teachers next to her was talking about.

Brittany watched Santana's disinterested glance from the new teacher back to her chicken salad.

"Okay, what was that?" she asked, holding up her hand.

"What?"

"You totally dismissed her."

Santana shrugged. "She's the new English teacher. I met her this morning."

"Oooh, dish," Brittany smiled, leaning forward. "What's the word on the new chick?"

Santana sighed in exasperation and Brittany leaned back, sensing an outburst. Luckily, Santana seemed to remember where she was and swallowed any words she may have had.

"San," Brittany said softly. "Did she say or do something? I haven't seen you like this since I told you about putting our sex tape on the web."

"Jesus, Britt, think you could keep it down?" Santana hissed, glancing around her. “Let’s not forget that it’s still floating around the deep space of the web.”

"Okay, what is this? I feel like I'm back in high school. Could you please explain to me what's going on?"

Santana sighed and dropped the fork into the salad. "Not here. Let's go to the studio?"

Brittany nodded and grabbed her bag, letting Santana go ahead of her out of the faculty lounge. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the new chick staring at Santana again and she felt a flame in her chest.

Jealousy.

No one should look at her Santana like that.

 _But she's not your Santana_.

Brittany sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. That was the worst part of the whole thing. Anyone could look at Santana and she could look back because she and Brittany were _just friends_. She could date and fall in love with someone else and Brittany would have to sit back and take it because she'd promised she wasn't going to leave. Even if it broke her heart fifty times a day, she'd be there for Santana, and if that capacity remained in the realms of friendship then she'd take it.

God, she really hoped that things wouldn't turn out like that though. She missed Santana terribly. She missed holding her, cuddling with her, just being able to openly stare at her with a stupid smile on her face because she didn't care if everyone in the world knew that she was in love with Santana Lopez and proudly so.

"B?"

Santana's fingers brushed against Brittany's arm and she flinched, not expecting the contact. Santana's dark eyes looked at her curiously.

"Are you okay?"

Brittany blinked. They were outside the studio. Brittany didn't even remember how she'd got there. She took a breath and ignored Santana's question, walking past her and into the big room.

"Okay, I know I'm being cryptic, but why are you flat out refusing to tell me what's going on with you?" Santana snapped, following the blonde inside.

Brittany put her bag down in its usual corner and started stretching in front of the mirror.

"Dammit, Brittany, answer me!"

Brittany let her head drop. "I can't."

"Why not? I thought we were friends?" Santana stood next to her.

"We are…that's why I can't tell you."

Santana frowned. "Britt, that makes no sense."

"Look, San, I'm being what you need me to be," Brittany said quickly. "And being your _friend_ means that there are some things that I might think about that you, as my _friend_ , would be uncomfortable knowing."

Santana blinked in surprise and slow understanding came into her eyes.

"Oh," she said quietly. "I didn't realise."

Brittany shrugged and continued her stretching. "You shouldn't have to know. It's my issue. You don't have to deal with it."

"But…"

Brittany looked at Santana’s reflection in the mirror expectantly, but nothing more came out.

She sighed. "Don't worry about it, San, okay? Um, I need to warm up."

She wasn't trying to be rude or cold, but she was finding it very difficult trying to control herself around Santana. And the last thing Brittany wanted was to frighten her. So if she had to distance herself from time to time to deal with her feelings, then Santana needed to respect that. It wasn’t like she was ignorant of Brittany's feelings.

Santana just stared at Brittany, their eyes locking through the mirror. Brittany could see the conflict raging behind those beautiful dark eyes, but she wasn't about to press Santana for anything. She would have to come to her decisions herself. Brittany would hate to be made to feel responsible for forcing her into something that she clearly wasn't ready for.

Santana stepped towards Brittany, causing her to furrow her brow in confusion. She stepped in front of Brittany and stood on her tiptoes, slipping her arms around Brittany's neck.

_Oh my God. Shit._

Brittany's heart rate skyrocketed and she started breathing a little quicker. It was absolutely the worst thing that could happen at that moment. Not the way she was feeling.

"I trust you," Santana said softly. "You are my friend, B, and I treasure that more than you'll know. I didn't understand how hard this was for you, how much you're sacrificing to be what I need you to be."

"It's-"

"Thank you," Santana interrupted. "Having you back in my life is the best thing that's happened to me since Bella."

Brittany just stared into Santana's eyes. Her arms tightened around Brittany’s neck and she pulled her into a tight embrace. Brittany closed her eyes in relief and wrapped her arms around Santana's waist.

Hugs were fine. She could do hugs. Santana had always loved her hugs. Maybe Brittany could get rid of some of her pent-up tension through hugging Santana. They stood wrapped tightly together for a while before Santana's arms loosened slightly. She pulled back and dropped slowly back onto her heels.

_Shit! Crap!_

They were still really close. Like _really_ close. So close that Brittany could see her individual eyelashes. So close that she could see the grooves in her lips.

_Don't look at her lips, idiot!_

Santana let out a quick breath and it fluttered across Brittany's lips, causing a rush of heat to run down her body. She swallowed the groan that rose up in the back of her throat.

Neither of them moved. Whether it was because they couldn't or wouldn't was immaterial. Brittany held onto some miraculous self-control that had appeared out of nowhere because she wanted nothing more than to close the gap between their lips.

Santana's eyes were flitting between Brittany's eyes and her lips and she could see the want in Santana’s eyes.

_Why won't she go for it? Why won't she just kiss me? I can't push her over that boundary._

Santana moved a millimetre closer, then another, and another. And then the bell rang.

* * *

Santana's eyes snapped up to Brittany's blue ones, slightly darker with very clear desire. She stepped back.

_Oh God, oh God, oh God. I almost kissed her!_

"Um." Santana's voice was shaky and she quickly dropped her arms from around Brittany's neck, Brittany returning the favour and releasing her grip around Santana's waist.

 _Oh God, oh God. I_ really _want to kiss her_.

"It's okay, San," Brittany said softly. "We're friends."

Santana wished that she didn't know Brittany so well that she could detect the underlying pain in that simple statement. She knew how Brittany felt. She knew how _she_ felt. Brittany just didn't know how she felt and she wasn't exactly doing a good job of hiding that. A few tender moments in Brittany’s presence and she was just a girl in love, wanting to give herself completely to her soulmate.

But she couldn't. She _couldn't_. She was protecting herself. She was protecting Bella. Was she being petty? Was she being stupid? Was she being unreasonable? Maybe. A lot of people would consider her a fool for not taking Brittany back. It wasn't like she hadn't confessed her love and promised not to leave again, but that nagging feeling of abandonment just refused to leave Santana alone and she was pretty sure that it was the _only_ thing stopping her from pushing Brittany up against the full length mirror and kissing her six ways from Sunday.

Santana broke away from Brittany completely, lowering her gaze. Those blue orbs were too damn alluring and Santana's resolve was already weak.

 _You want to kiss her_.

God, did she want to kiss Brittany. So damn badly. But she wouldn't. She shook her head slightly and backed away from Brittany. Brittany didn't look in her direction, instead turning and facing the mirror.

Santana walked away and paused at the door, glancing back at Brittany, whose eyes were closed.

"I love you," Santana whispered voicelessly, before turning around and walking out.


	23. Chapter 23

Brittany smiled at the last few students leaving the studio. She was expecting her dancers for the musical any minute. And Santana.

She knew Santana had convinced herself that a relationship with Brittany was a bad idea. Brittany, of course, disagreed wholeheartedly, but she wouldn't ever say anything.

She heard her phone go off and checked it to see a message from Santana.

_Have to play nice with the new girl and show her the ropes. Cover me? Sorry._

Brittany frowned. She had no reason to doubt Santana, but she couldn't help but wonder if Santana had organised the tutorial with the new girl before or after lunch.

"Hey, Miss P," two girls called in greeting as they entered the studio.

Brittany smiled and waved, turning her phone off and dropping it back into her bag. Maybe Santana's absence from that afternoon's practice wasn't such a bad thing.

* * *

"Okay, so we're sorted for the next two weeks?" Santana clarified, double-checking her weekly plans.

"I think so," Kate replied, leaning over slightly to compare her schedule to Santana's.

Santana sat back slightly, feeling a little crowded by Kate's slight invasion of personal space. Sure, she was gorgeous, but there was something unsettling about her that Santana couldn't put her finger on. From an early age, Santana had been a pro bullshit detector and her radar was blinking on the new English teacher.

"Yup, we're good to go," Kate said, standing up and stretching.

Santana kept her eyes trained on the papers in front of her and she stacked them.

"So what do beautiful, single women do for fun in this city?" Kate asked suddenly.

Santana stiffened and looked up. Kate was looking at her in a decidedly unprofessional manner.

"I don't know," she said slowly. "I have responsibilities that limit my social activities."

"Can't someone babysit your daughter or something?" Kate pressed with a cocky smile.

Santana's eyes narrowed. "Okay, new girl, let me break this down for you. We are colleagues. You do not ask, comment or insinuate anything about my family or my social activities, got it?"

Kate nodded, but smirked. "I don't give up that easily, Santana."

Santana rolled her eyes. There was the reason her crazy lights had gone off. "I hope you enjoy being disappointed, then."

"I'm rarely disappointed," Kate replied, cocking her head. "I seem to find a way of always getting my way."

"Well then you're definitely going to enjoy being disappointed," Santana said, pulling out her phone and sending a quick 911 text to Brittany. Regardless of whatever had gone down between them ( _mind_ out _of the gutter, Santana!_ ) during lunch, Santana knew she could count on Brittany to come to her aid when needed.

However, ten minutes later, there was no sign of Brittany and Santana was beginning to get desperate. She'd tried every conceivable excuse to leave, but Kate had expertly turned every one into a reason to stay.

"Okay, you know what?" Santana said, finally snapping. " _This_ is never gonna happen. So quit with the clever words and flirty comments, all right? Not. Going. To. Happen."

Kate just smiled and picked up her folder and her bag. "You might feel differently after a few weeks, San."

Santana froze. "Don't call me that."

"What? San? I like calling you that."

"Don't," Santana said through gritted teeth. "There is only _one_ person in this world who's allowed to call me that and don't think I won't punch your teeth out if you push the issue."

"But I like pushing,' Kate said, leaning on the desk.

_What the fuck, Lopez? Where's the girl from Lima Heights? Did you lose her when you forgot your balls back in the dance studio?_

Great, her conscience had become a crass potty mouth.

"I push back and I'm not shy to get dirty," Santana said, not realising how her words sounded.

"Just my kind of woman," Kate purred.

_Fuck!_

"Kate, seriously. You need to remember where you are. This is a _school_."

"I can do kinky. Never pegged you for that, though."

Santana shook her head and walked to her desk. She dropped the punch she'd just picked up when she felt someone standing _very_ close behind her.

"Back off," she said warningly.

"But you don't really want me to."

"Yeah, I _really_ do."

"Even when I do this?" Kate said huskily, running her fingertips up Santana's hips.

Santana hated how her body reacted to the sensual touch. But she still felt ill. Only one person should ever be allowed to touch her body like that.

"Stop," Santana said, grabbing Kate's hands and pushing them away. "I really would advise you to walk out of my classroom right now."

"Or what?"

"Or you may leave with a black eye."

"I like it rough."

"Kate, for fuck's sakes, just get out!" Santana shouted, whirling around.

Wow, Kate was _much_ closer than she'd thought, but Santana held her gaze firm. Kate's eyes ran down and across Santana’s lips and she bit her own, but Santana wasn't falling for it. Besides the fact that it was completely unprofessional and this chick was batshit crazy, it was _creepy_. How many different ways did she need to hear the word 'no' before she actually listened?

"You don't want me to go."

"Yes, I really do."

"I think-"

" _I_ think you should listen to her," a strong voice said from the doorway.

Santana closed her eyes and silently thanked her saviour a million times. She opened her eyes and saw Kate turning towards Brittany standing in the doorway, her arms folded across her chest, her eyes blazing with anger.

Santana had only ever seen Brittany really angry a handful of times in her life and the last time had been when they'd broken up.

"The infamous Brittany," Kate smirked. "I was wondering how long it would be before you showed up."

Brittany didn't say anything but caught Santana's gaze. They had a quick silent conversation.

_Are you okay?_

_Not really. She's fucking crazy!_

_Get your shit and follow me._

Santana turned around and grabbed her bag, not really caring if she left anything behind.

"Where are you going?" Kate purred, running her fingers up Santana's exposed arm.

" _We're_ going home," Brittany said firmly, stepping in and linking her fingers with Santana.

Santana tried her best not to look surprised and excited. She also hoped that the rush of heat that flowed through her at the feeling of Brittany's fingers entwined with hers again, wasn't as painfully obvious as she felt it was.

Kate's brow furrowed as she saw their locked hands. "I thought-"

"You thought wrong," Brittany said, squeezing Santana's hand in a silent motion for her to back her up.

"As I told you before, in various ways and means, my work life and my social life are very separate. Which is why you wouldn't know. Besides the fact that neither of us would have ever said anything anyway and also, it doesn't happen to be any of your business."

Another squeeze from Brittany acknowledged her approval.

Kate raised an eyebrow and grabbed her bag. "Don't think that I'm fooled. You guys have history, that much I know. But I'm not often wrong, and I'd know a couple when I see one. And I don't see one."

Santana's jaw clenched. _This chick is seriously pissing on my battery_.

"I guess that's your problem seeing as how we don't give a fuck what you think, new girl," Brittany said, shrugging nonchalantly. "Come on, San. Bella's waiting for you."

"Oh, so _she's_ the only one who can call you San," Kate said, clapping her hands at the realisation. "That is just too precious."

Santana rolled her eyes and pulled Brittany to the door. She still didn't know how she was even still there. Maybe her conscience was right and she'd lost her badass mojo.

"Keep pretending," Brittany whispered so that only Santana could hear. "She's gonna follow us."

Santana nodded and stepped closer to Brittany, briefly allowing her head to rest on her shoulder. Brittany turned her head and placed a feather kiss on Santana's head. Santana took in a sharp breath and tried to calm her racing heart at the contact.

They arrived at the dance studio and, once inside, Brittany let Santana's hand go. She immediately wanted the feeling of the dancer's hands in her own again.

"Thanks," she muttered, looking down at her feet.

"For what?" Brittany asked, walking over to her bag and picking it up.

"For coming to my rescue," Santana replied. "I was so scared you wouldn't because of…what happened at lunch."

"Uh, San, I'd love to take credit, but I have no idea what you're talking about," Brittany said, her brow furrowing in confusion. "I came to ask you about the script and heard that crazy chick."

"You didn't come because of my text?" Santana tried hard not to sound hurt.

"Oh. I turned my phone off."

 _She didn't want to talk to you_.

"What is that chick's problem?" Brittany asked.

Santana sighed. "If I knew, maybe I would've been able to figure out a way to get rid of her sooner."

"Why didn't you just walk out?"

"It's _my_ classroom. Why should I be forced to leave my workspace because some psycho can't take a fucking hint?"

Brittany angled her head as she contemplated. "Well, what are you going to do about her? Are you going to tell DC?"

"I don't know," Santana sighed. "Honestly, I just want to go and get my little girl and go home."

Brittany smiled. "Let me cook for you two tonight. I never did get to thank you for the awesome weekend."

Santana smiled. "Britt, that actually sounds so perfect."

Brittany grinned and nudged Santana's shoulder with her arm as they walked out of the studio and headed to the exit.

* * *

Brittany glanced up at the clock in her studio. Lunchtime on Wednesday. Santana had another meeting with the psycho bitch from hell. She hadn't wanted Brittany to worry, but she was hardly going to sit back and let the crazy new girl make Santana's life difficult. Her Santana had worked too hard at the life she had with Bella to have it all shot to hell.

And yes, Santana _was_ hers. Regardless of the fact that they weren't together, Brittany loved her with everything she was and the brief moments that they'd shared on Monday had sent Brittany's heart soaring.

How their hands had so easily fit together again, how their fingers knew exactly how to move against each other's, how they walked in proximity to each other, how Santana had laid her head on Brittany's shoulder, and how Brittany had allowed herself one small joy with a soft kiss on Santana's head.

Oddly enough, that small show of affection from Brittany had eased some of the tension she'd been dealing with regarding Santana. She'd been afraid that kissing her and holding her hand might've opened some floodgates that she'd be unable to close, but she'd found herself falling to sleep with relative ease that night. Granted, she'd spent the evening with Santana and Bella, and that always put a smile on her face.

 _You also fell asleep only_ after _rubbing one out to her._

Brittany pulled a face. God, her conscience was gross. But…not entirely wrong. There wasn't anything wrong with masturbating to the love of your life, right? She had found that she fell asleep easier after releasing some tension. And it wasn't like she disappeared every five minutes like a horny teenager.

Brittany grabbed a bottle of water and took a slow walk down to Santana's classroom. She leaned against the wall outside and just listened carefully to the conversation inside. It _sounded_ like they were just talking about school stuff so Brittany relaxed.

Santana hadn't exactly _asked_ her to keep up the charade of them being together, but she hadn't said anything about stopping it either. And for completely selfish reasons, Brittany wanted so badly to keep pretending.

"So, are you seeing anyone?"

Brittany froze at Kate's soft question. The new girl had kept her distance since Monday, but still Brittany got a really creepy vibe from her.

"Kate, don't start this again." Santana's voice held that strong warning tone. Brittany used to love hearing her using it as she dished out insults to anyone who had even dared to look at her or Brittany in the wrong way.

"It's just a question, Santana."

 _Yeah, right_.

"I think we're done here. I've got some things I need to discuss with B-"

"With your _girlfriend_?" Kate interrupted, stressing the last word.

Santana didn't say anything and Brittany took that as her cue. She could play the _shit_ out of the knight in shining armour shtick she had going on.

"Hey, San!" she said brightly as she strode in.

"Britt!" Santana said with a smile. "This is a nice surprise."

Brittany strode past where Kate was looking at her suspiciously and plopped herself in Santana's lap, wrapping her arms around her neck in a hug.

"I'm not gonna do anything, don't worry," she whispered softly in her ear.

Santana's arms went around Brittany's waist and squeezed in thanks.

"You know, Kate," Brittany said, playing with Santana's hair and keeping her eyes on Santana’s gorgeous face. "If I wasn't such an amazingly understanding girlfriend, I might be jealous that you're taking up my lunch hour with Santana every day."

Santana smiled and leaned her head softly against Brittany's shoulder. Brittany could feel the tension in her shoulders slowly dissipate as she ran her fingers across Santana's back.

"Well, Santana hasn't done anything to make you jealous, has she?' Kate asked sweetly.

"She could never," Brittany said with a smile. She tucked a strand of hair behind Santana's ear and looked into her eyes. "I love her."

Santana's dark eyes sparkled and she smiled back. Brittany leaned forward and pressed her lips against Santana's forehead. She lingered longer than she probably should've and she felt Santana's fingers dig into her waist a little.

She pulled away and smiled down at the love of her life. Screw pretending. This was real. The way they were looking at each other couldn't be faked. The feelings, the touching, it was all real.

"I'll see you after school?" Brittany asked Santana softly.

Santana nodded softly and Brittany got off her lap, but Santana stood up with her, taking her hand and leading her to the door.

"I'm walking you out," she said with a small smile. "And also," she added in a whisper, "I wanted to thank you. I don't know how you always seem to know when I need you, but you're always there."

Brittany shrugged and squeezed her hand. "I told you I wasn't going anywhere, San."

"I know." Santana looked down. "I'd like you to come out to dinner with us."

"You and Bella?" Brittany asked, nodding.

"Yeah," Santana said slowly, biting her lip. "And everyone else."

Brittany stiffened. Everyone else. That meant Rachel and Finn and Blaine and _Kurt_. Santana had mentioned on a few occasions that Kurt was very against the two of them being friends again.

"Uh…"

"Please?" Santana asked softly, her eyes pleading. "I hate having these two separate lives. Bella doesn't understand it and I hate that I have to check what I say around Kurt."

"Look, don't worry about Kurt," Brittany whispered, taking Santana's other hand. "He and I will have our little chat. I'd love to go to dinner with all of you."

"Okay," Santana said, relieved.

Brittany leaned forward conspiratorially. "I'm gonna hug you really tightly now, okay?"

Santana giggled and wrapped her arms around Brittany's neck pulling her close. Brittany enveloped Santana in her embrace, burying her face in her neck, breathing deeply. The scent of Santana, possibly the best smell in the world. Well…there was another smell that was distinctively Santana…

Brittany opened her eyes and caught Kate's narrowed gaze. She was trying to look busy but couldn't help glancing at Brittany and Santana every few seconds.

_That's right, bitch. You ain't getting your claws into this one._

Brittany pulled away reluctantly. She could honestly stay wrapped up in Santana forever. She'd managed a week before, their spring break of senior year… They'd only left the bed to go to the bathroom and to answer the door for room service.

"What are you thinking about?" Santana asked with a smile.

"Uh…" Brittany blushed, looking down.

"Tell me," Santana encouraged.

Brittany looked up and met Santana's curious gaze. "Spring break in that hotel in Columbus."

Santana's widened and she also looked down in embarrassment.

"Sorry," Brittany apologised softly. "I'm gonna go, okay? I'll see you later?"

Santana nodded, not meeting her blue eyes. Brittany squeezed her hands once more before dropping them and walking out of the classroom.

* * *

Santana peeked around the door and watched as Brittany walked away. Almost as though she could sense that she was being watched, Brittany turned around and winked at Santana before shaking her ass and continuing her walk down the hall.

Santana chuckled and stepped back in. Kate put her hands together in a slow clap.

"Bravo," she said sarcastically. "I mean, really. That was Oscar-winning stuff."

Santana rolled her eyes. "We're done here."

Kate stood up and followed Santana to her desk. "Obviously, Blondie's got it bad for you, but you are _not_ together. I don't know jack shit about your history, but I know that."

"You've mentioned your delusions before," Santana said dismissively.

"You two can pretend all you want," Kate said, sounding a lot closer than Santana was comfortable with.

"We're not pretending," Santana replied honestly. She truly felt that. Brittany wasn't pretending to love Santana; she really did, and Santana knew that Brittany knew her well enough to know that she loved being around Brittany again. The subtle touches, the looks, the soft kisses, Santana loved them all. Of course, it was more for the benefit of convincing Psycho Bitch that she wasn't interested – they would never have done any of those things otherwise, but regardless of _why_ they were doing them, they weren't pretending. It was real.

Santana started humming, deciding to tune Kate out. If she didn't start backing off, Santana may just have to take matters to DC. She didn't want to, but she wasn't about to work in a permanently tense environment.

Three days ago, that tense environment would have been caused by a beautiful blonde dancer, but that beautiful blonde dancer had since been her saviour and if anyone had told Santana that she'd be cuddling with Brittany, she would've laughed them off. Strangely, it didn't feel weird at all. It felt natural. It felt right.

So why couldn't she just take the plunge?

* * *

Friday came around and Santana was stressing. Her script team hadn't given her _anything_ and that pretty much meant that she was now responsible for writing _and_ directing the show. She hadn't seen Brittany the whole day, so Brittany hadn't been able to rub it in Santana's face that she'd gotten her way.

On the upside, she could tell DC that Kate was up to speed and she wouldn't have to spend any one-on-one time with her anymore. Brittany had made an appearance the previous day, but there hadn't been any touching, just glances that made them both feel as though they _were_ touching.

Another reason for her to be freaking out was the impending dinner that night. She wasn't nervous for herself, but she was nervous for Britt. Kurt could be a real bitch, especially when it involved something that he was stubborn about.

"You're being ridiculous," Santana muttered to herself. "Brittany knows how to take care of herself. Besides, look how quickly you forgave her. Your friends will be cake."

Well, Rachel, Finn and Blaine would be cake. Kurt, maybe not so much. Santana's phone buzzed on her table and she read the message from Brittany with a smile.

_D-Day! You owe me a script, Miss Lopez._

Santana chuckled as she typed out a reply.

_I was wondering how long it was going to take for you to come collecting. Guess I've got some work to do this weekend._

Brittany's response was swift.

_Now things can really get going on this musical. I'm super excited! :)_

Santana giggled and went back to her reading. She loved how things were between her and Britt. As odd as it sounded, she didn't feel uncomfortable at all. They were becoming how they used to be around each other. Brittany was naturally an affectionate person and Santana knew that it had been really hard for her to keep her distance when they first decided to be friends.

* * *

Santana scrunched up another piece of paper and threw it onto the chair next to her. There was a growing pile and Santana was getting more and more frustrated. Brittany was busy with the dancers, Mrs. Spencer was with the singers and Santana, the writer and director was struggling to find something to base the entire fucking show on.

Santana groaned and let her head fall on the desk. She couldn't do this. Who was she kidding? She couldn't write a _whole_ fucking script to a show that didn't even have a story yet.

"Writer's block?" Brittany asked from behind Santana.

Santana subtly nodded and kept her head on the desk. She felt two strong hands on her shoulder as Brittany started to massage her tense muscles.

"That feels really nice," Santana mumbled.

"Do you remember that script you wrote about the glee club in junior year?"

Santana chuckled. "Yes, that was _so_ terrible."

"No! It wasn't! San, it was amazing. You're a really great writer and you had this great material to work with right in front of you. You just took it and translated it and it came out great."

Santana put a hand on Brittany's to halt her ministrations and lifted her head. Brittany sat down in the chair next to her and leaned forward on her knees.

"You're not just saying that cos I'm the director, right?" Santana teased, but really needed to hear validation.

"Santana, you know I don't lie."

"Yeah." Santana took a deep breath. "So you think I should write a musical about our glee club?"

Brittany nodded enthusiastically. "And you know what's awesome? Everyone in our old glee club could be someone from different groups, like it really was!"

Santana sat back thoughtfully. It was definitely something she could write. And it could be applied to the same cliques that Santana had seen in Griffin Hill, probably even more so due to its private school status.

"Okay," she said with a smile, nodding. "I'll do it."

"Yes!" Brittany cheered. "San, this is going to be amazing! We can use some of the mash ups we did! Oh, and I can totally spice up some of Mr. Schue's stone age dances. Oh!" Brittany's eyes lit up. "We _have_ to do the dinosaur prom."

Santana chuckled. "Sure, Britt. Why don't we talk about it tomorrow? Come over and we can brainstorm which numbers we wanna put in."

"But you're the writer. I don't write really well."

"I'll still write it, but I can use both our ideas."

"Okay," Brittany said with a wide smile. "We should celebrate!"

"Doing what?"

"We should go out tonight! All of us."

"We are. We're going to dinner," Santana said in amusement.

"No, I mean after. I really wanna go dancing with you, San. I miss that."

"Uh…" Santana paused.

Her track record of clubs wasn't great. First her one-night stand then watching Britt all over another chick.

"I won't even drink," Brittany added softly.

"Well," Santana said slowly, "I mean, our dancing was never really… _just_ friends."

"Oh." Brittany bit her lip. "You have a point. I can control myself. Can you?"

Blue eyes dove right into hers and Santana swallowed. Could she? Did she even want to?


	24. Chapter 24

Brittany checked her small purse for the tenth time, making sure that she had everything. She looked at her reflection in her hallway mirror and swallowed. She didn't think she'd ever been so nervous in her life. She'd been to Nationals competitions countless times, she'd danced next to frigging Justin Timberlake and even ground up against him in one particular move. She'd had lunch with Madonna.

But she'd _never_ been this nervous. It wasn't a date with Santana – she knew that. That wasn't what was making her heart pound in her hands clammy. It was seeing her old friends after so many years, and dealing with their feelings towards her, especially regarding the breakup.

Santana had told her not to worry, that everything would be fine because she wouldn't let them interrogate her. That had made Brittany smile a bit because it was so like Santana to be that protective of her.

She looked at her phone. She was supposed to meet Santana and Bella at their apartment at six-thirty. It was still six-twenty. Brittany had been dressed (after changing her outfit about seven times) and ready since just after six. She checked her makeup and painted on a fresh coat of lip-gloss after ruining the last one with all the lip biting and nervous licking.

She felt her phone vibrate in her hand and almost dropped it. She opened a message from Santana.

_Come on down. You don't have to wait._

How in the hell had she known that? Brittany shook her head. If it wasn’t something that she did as well, she would've been really freaked out. But that was just how they operated.

Brittany picked up her keys, her phone and checked her reflection one more time before grabbing a thin jacket and heading out the door.

* * *

Santana was humming along to Bella's music playing on her Bluetooth speakers as she finished off her makeup in the bathroom. She heard a knock at the door and Bella yelling that she would get it. Santana smiled at her reflection. Her daughter loved it when Brittany spent time with them. She finally had someone that _got_ what she was into. Not that Santana hadn't tried, but she had to admit that she faked it a lot. With Brittany, she was pretty sure that it was one hundred percent natural.

"Wow, Big B, you look super pretty," Santana heard Bella say in amazement.

Her breath caught in her throat.

_Crap. Forgot that dressing up was going to make things difficult._

"Aw, thanks, Little B, but I couldn't possibly look prettier than you," Brittany replied.

"Kurt made it," Bella said proudly.

"Awesome."

Only Santana picked up the sudden nervous lilt to Brittany's voice. She really, _really_ hoped that her friends, especially Kurt, would take it easy on Brittany. They, well, mostly Kurt and Rachel, hadn't been very happy about Brittany's inclusion in their dinner, but Santana had stood firm, saying that if Brittany wasn't welcome, then she and Bella would be staying home. Okay, so she felt a _little_ guilty for using Bella to get them to agree. She knew that they would always cave if it meant they didn't get to see their favourite little Lopez.

Santana gave herself a last once over before she walked out of the bathroom and into her bedroom.

She heard a soft _'wow'_ as she crossed the hallway and smiled to herself. One of the reasons she enjoyed the dinners with her friends was that it was always at some swanky restaurant, which meant she got to dress up. And she wasn't about to deny that she may have been a little excited to dress up for a certain blonde. They'd only ever seen each other in their work clothes and casual clothes. She also had to admit that she was _more_ than a little nervous about seeing Brittany dressed up.

Santana grabbed her jacket from the bed and took a deep breath before walking into the living room. She met Brittany's eyes and smiled at how her mouth fell open. She saw blue eyes rake up and down her entire body and she let out an involuntary shiver. No matter what she was wearing, Brittany's gaze could always make her feel like she wasn't wearing anything. It was exhilarating and nerve-wracking and incredibly sexy all at the same time.

"Uh, you look…um…"

Santana's smile widened at Brittany's inability to form words. She stood up and it was Santana's turn to let her mouth fall open. Wow didn't even begin to describe how amazingly gorgeous Brittany looked. She was wearing red, a colour she didn't often wear because Santana enjoyed wearing it more. The dress was soft but tucked in all the right places.

 _Holy Jesus, does it_ have _to be so fucking short?_

Santana lifted her eyes to Brittany's amused ones and she blushed. She quickly pulled down on her equally short and very tight midnight blue dress. Her heels were bigger than Brittany's, so they were more an equal height as opposed to Brittany always having the advantage.

"You look beautiful," Santana eventually murmured.

"So do you,” Brittany replied with a grin. "Sorry, I must've lost my tongue."

"I'm sure it's on the floor somewhere," Santana couldn't help but tease.

Brittany chuckled. "Are we really gonna play that game tonight?"

Santana shrugged her jacket on. "Yeah, that's probably not a good idea. You ready, baby?" she asked Bella.

Bella jumped off the couch and nodded with a smile.

"Look at us three gorgeous, sexy ladies going out on the town," Brittany declared. "People are going to think we're celebrities!"

"One of us already is," Santana countered, taking Bella's hand and walking to the door.

Bella looked up at Brittany, her eyes wide. "You're famous?" she asked in awe.

Brittany gave Santana a _'did you really have to mention that?'_ look and Santana shrugged with a smile. She opened the door and the walk downstairs was dominated by Bella firing questions at Brittany.

By the time their cab got to the restaurant, Bella had demanded that Santana get all the seasons of _Dancing With The Stars_ that Brittany had been on. Santana paid the cab driver and they piled out onto the pavement. Santana turned to Brittany and saw her become visibly more nervous.

"Hey," she said softly, running her fingers down her arm. "It's going to be okay."

"They have every reason to hate me, San," Brittany replied, her eyes sad. "I hurt you so badly. Why should they trust me again?"

"Because I do."

"But you don't trust me with your heart, Santana. And that's kinda the point here, don't you think?"

Santana didn't have an answer to that. Was that really what was keeping them apart? A question of trust? Santana trusted with everything else in her life, even the thing that meant the absolute most to her.

"Mommy, can we go inside?" Bella asked, looking at her mother in confusion. "Did you go somewhere again?"

Santana smiled down apologetically at her daughter and squeezed her hand. "I did for a little bit, baby, but I'm back now. Let's go inside."

* * *

Brittany couldn't stop staring all around her. She'd been to some pretty fancy places before, but she had no idea that such places existed in New York. Granted, she'd seldom had reason to come to restaurants like this whilst in New York.

"It's so fancy," she whispered to Bella. "I know I'm gonna mess up. Don't you need to be like a princess or something to eat here?"

Bella giggled and Brittany couldn't help but smile at the similarity it held to Santana's. She glanced at the beautiful woman walking on the other side of Bella. She was absolutely breathtaking. Her tight dress really wasn't helping Brittany's self-control when it came to keeping her feelings on the down low.

"Thank you," she heard Santana say to the maitre'd as they arrived at a big round table.

Bella sat down between Brittany and Santana, which Brittany was kind of okay with. It just meant that she wasn't sure who'd be sitting in the other side of her.

"Baby, would you mind swapping with Brittany?" Santana asked.

Brittany looked at Santana in surprise, but the look on her face told her that she knew exactly what Brittany was afraid of and she was just trying to make things as easy as possible.

"Don't you wanna sit next to me, Mommy?" Bella asked, sounding hurt.

Brittany shot Santana a look that told her she'd deal with it. Santana nodded once.

"Hey," Brittany said softly, slipping off her chair and kneeling down so that she and Bella were at the same eye level. Bella's eyes looked sad and it hurt Brittany's heart a little. "I know that your mom would love to sit next to you. I bet she sits next to you every time you go out."

Bella nodded.

"Well, tonight, your mom's gonna be nice like that for me. I hope that's okay?"

Bella looked from Brittany to Santana, then looked back to Brittany and nodded. "Big B, they won't be horrible to you," she said sincerely. "If you sit between me and Mommy then we'll protect you."

Brittany couldn't help the tears that suddenly sprang to her eyes. She pulled Bella in for a hug and the tears flowed down her cheeks when she felt little arms go around her neck and hold tight. It was exactly how Santana hugged her. After a few squeezes, Brittany pulled away.

"Big B, why are you crying?" Bella asked in alarm. "Did I squeeze too hard? Mommy says I do sometimes."

"No," Brittany said softly. "I'm not crying because I'm hurt. I'm crying because you're the sweetest little girl in the whole wide world and I'm _so_ lucky to have you as a friend."

"You're my best friend," Bella said proudly, with a big smile.

Brittany blinked in surprise. "But what about your mommy? Don't you think that she's your best friend?"

"No, she's my mommy so she can't be my best friend as well. So you can be my best friend and she can be my mommy," Bella explained with a grin.

Brittany felt Santana's hand resting softly on hers against Bella's back and their eyes met. Santana's dark orbs also looked dangerously watery, but she had a proud smile on her face.

"Little B, I would love nothing more than to be your best friend," Brittany said happily.

Bella grinned and stuck out her pinkie. Brittany smiled back and twirled her own around it.

"Mommy said you two used to do this to show everyone you were best friends," Bella said.

Brittany nodded and let her eyes meet Santana's again. They smiled knowingly at each other before Brittany turned her gaze back to Santana's daughter.

"I think I need to go and get myself cleaned up," Brittany whispered to Bella. "You think you can make sure no one sits in my seat until I get back?"

Bella nodded eagerly. "I'll be your seat ninja."

Brittany chuckled. "You, Little B, are the coolest ninja ever."

Bella's eyes lit up and Brittany knew that she probably deemed it to be the biggest compliment ever. She stood up and grabbed her purse, looking at Santana and tilting her head towards the restrooms. Santana just nodded and smiled, still trying to deal with keeping her own tears at bay.

Brittany waved to Bella and headed for the sign she'd seen on her way in. She walked into a cubicle and pulled the door closed, letting the remaining tears just roll down her cheeks silently as she let the disbelief of Bella's kindness just wash over her.

She didn't know how long she'd been sitting in the cubicle until a soft knock on the door pulled her out of her dreamlike state.

"Uh, sorry," she mumbled. "Gimme a sec and I'll be out."

"B."

Brittany stood up and opened the door. Santana slipped inside and pushed the door closed behind her.

"Hey," Santana said softly, resting a hand on Brittany's arm. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Brittany sniffed. "She just kinda overwhelmed me."

Santana smiled. "She tends to do that. I've lost count of how many times she's made me cry just by saying something so amazingly nice."

"I feel like I don't deserve her. Or you," Brittany admitted. "After what I did, you shouldn't be so nice to me."

"Stop that," Santana said firmly. "Look at me. Brittany." She put a finger under Brittany’s chin and forced their eyes to meet. "Britt, you're here. You're in our lives and I know that I was really apprehensive about it in the beginning, but right now I couldn't be happier. I have my best friend back."

"Just your best friend?" Brittany dared to ask.

She knew that it was a risk to go down that road, but she _knew_ Santana was feeling everything she was. The little touches and glances meant something. Santana was scared and she was adamant to find out why. She needed to help her get over that fear if they were ever going to be together again.

Santana's eyes dropped from Brittany's, but this time Brittany tilted her chin up.

"You know you can't lie to me, Santana," Brittany said softly. "Why are you fighting us?"

Santana's eyes grew scared. "Brittany, please-"

"Please what, San?" Brittany asked. "I know I said I'd give you space and I really, really am trying, but this little game we've been playing this week wasn't us pretending."

"I know," Santana whispered.

Brittany blinked in surprise. She hadn't expected that answer but took a step closer to Santana. Their heels enabled them to look straight into each other's eyes and neither broke the gaze.

"Britt," Santana whispered, her breath fluttering across her face, "I can't lose you again."

Brittany shook her head and took another small step towards the love of her life. She could feel Santana's body in front of hers and her hand rested on her small waist.

"Santana, I will spend every day proving to you that I am so in love with you-"

"I don't doubt that, B," Santana cut in. "But that's not enough to appease my fear that one day you're going to get another phone call and you're going to walk out of my life again. I can't survive that. Not again."

Brittany leaned forward and rested her forehead against Santana's and raised her other hand to gently rest on her cheek.

"We've already spoken about this. There is _nothing_ that can pull me away from New York. Not anymore. If I get a call, it's going to be a simple _'thanks, but no thanks'_. And nothing that you do or say is going to change my mind about that. _You_ are all that I want, Santana Lopez. No one and nothing else."

Santana's brow furrowed in indecision and Brittany's hand that rested on Santana's cheek moved up and she ran a single finger across her forehead. She'd seen her do it with Bella and she knew the significance it held. Santana's eyes went wide and her forehead immediately relaxed under Brittany’s soft touch.

"I love you, Santana," Brittany murmured. "I've always loved you and I always will love you. Part of me was missing for those eight years and now that I have you back, I'm not letting you go."

* * *

Santana's hands had been resting at her sides the whole time Brittany had been talking, but she couldn't not touch her whilst her fingers ran across her forehead like that. She started resting her hands on Brittany's waist.

"I love you, Santana," Brittany said, dropping her hand onto Santana's shoulder and letting her fingers tease the exposed skin of her neck. "I've always loved you and I always will love you. Part of me was missing for those eight years and now that I have you back, I'm not letting you go."

Santana's breath caught in her throat. Brittany may not have been great with words a lot of the time, but when it came to expressing how much she loved Santana, she'd never had a problem.

 _This is it_. Santana could feel the difference. She could see it in Brittany's clear, honest eyes. She wouldn't put them through that torture again. Both of them had hurt terribly. They'd longed for each other for eight torturous years. She trusted her. Santana trusted Brittany. She trusted her enough to give her heart again. She would keep it safe. And she would keep Bella's safe too.

"I trust you," Santana whispered, her one hand trailing a soft path up Brittany's naked arm. "Don't hurt me again."

Brittany gently shook her head. "That won't happen, Santana. Not again. I promise you."

Santana's hand rested on Brittany's cheek and she leaned into the touch, causing Santana to smile softly.

"San," Brittany whispered, leaning slightly closer to her.

"Britt?"

"I really want to kiss you."

"I know," Santana replied, her breath quickening. "I really want you to."

The smile on Brittany's face was all the encouragement Santana needed to close the gap between them and press her lips against Brittany's. Brittany was surprised at first, but it didn't take her long to respond. Her arms wrapped around Santana and pulled them impossibly close. Their lips moved so perfectly against each other and Santana felt like she was home. After eight years, she was home.

Brittany pulled away slightly to trail soft kisses down Santana's neck.

"I've missed you so much," she whispered into the little crook. She breathed in deeply and Santana shivered. She let her fingers trail across the top of Brittany's back where her dress had left exposed skin. She felt Brittany shiver at the feather touch and it wasn't long before goose bumps broke out across the pale skin.

"I've missed you too," Santana replied softly, kissing softly up the side of Brittany's face as it rested in her neck.

"Thank you."

Santana smiled and used her other hand to bring Brittany's mouth back to hers. This time, she took the blonde's bottom lip between hers and sucked. Brittany let out a soft groan and Santana felt a rush of heat run down to her core at the sound. God, she'd missed that sound. She felt Brittany's hand grip her waist tighter and her tongue traced Santana's top lip. Now it was her turn to groan. She readily parted her lips and her tongue met Brittany's. They massaged and played and duelled and danced. At some point, Santana pushed Brittany against the wall of the cubicle and their bodies had no space between them. Brittany's hand was tangled in Santana's locks, pulling her closer, as if it were even possible.

Santana finally tore her mouth from Brittany's, purely because she absolutely had to breathe. Their eyes locked as their chests heaved against each other. Santana leaned forward and brushed her lips softly against Brittany's.

"I love you," she whispered.

Brittany's eyes widened and she smiled her big smile – the one Santana absolutely loved.

"I love you," she whispered back. "San, you make me so happy."

Santana smiled and tucked Brittany's hair behind her ear. "We need to get back to reality," she murmured, not loosening her grip on Brittany and letting her eyes run over her whole face, taking in every laugh line, every freckle.

"We'll be okay," Brittany replied, pushing herself off the wall and taking Santana with her. Her eyes widened suddenly. "San, what about Bella? Has she-"

"Rachel and Finn arrived and I came to see how you were," Santana interrupted softly.

"Of course," Brittany said, shaking her head. "I should've known that you wouldn't have left her alone."

Santana smiled and traced a finger over Brittany's forehead. "Let's go, beautiful."

"I think we should probably, uh, tidy ourselves up," Brittany suggested, blushing as she surveyed Santana's dress riding a lot higher than it had been five minutes before.

Santana smiled. She definitely didn't mind Brittany's hands over her bare skin. She turned around and giggled at Brittany nuzzling her hair and keeping her hands on her waist. She felt like a teenager again, sneaking make out sessions in anywhere and everywhere they could. She unlocked the door and walked towards the sinks. She glanced at her reflection and smirked at her swollen lips, dishevelled hair, flushed cheeks and dark eyes.

"Oh, yeah, I got you good," Brittany chuckled, looking at Santana checking the result of their make out session.

Santana grinned. "Do I look like I'm complaining?"

Brittany smiled. "I would hope not. I look worse."

"I think you look hot. Very, very sexy, in fact." Santana stepped closer and closer as she spoke and at the step, ground up against Brittany.

"Jesus," Brittany hissed, gripping the counter. "Are you insane? I'm supposed to be going out there pretending to be sweet, innocent and apologetic and all I'm gonna wanna do is rip your clothes off."

Santana smiled seductively. "Didn't you say something about dancing later?" she asked, taking a big step back to where she was and fixing her appearance.

"Evil…but oh, so sexy," Brittany muttered, giving Santana a lust-filled stare that she could feel deep, deep down… Santana swallowed hard and tightened her legs. The movement wasn't unnoticed by Brittany, who smirked and continued her own check in the mirror.

"Okay, yeah, we need ground rules for tonight," Santana said, clearing her throat.

Brittany nodded. "That's probably a good idea."

"One, none of those looks that you like sending me. Two, no wandering hands. Three-"

"Geez, talk about a boring dinner," Brittany joked.

"Britt, come on. Three, as far as everyone at the table is concerned, we're still friends."

Brittany pouted at that and Santana quickly closed the distance between them. She linked her arms around Brittany’s waist and pulled her close to kiss her nose.

"Only because I think it'd be a bit of a shock for them. And also, I want _us_ to tell Bella. I don't want her to find out in some informal setting."

Brittany nodded. "Okay."

"Don't worry, B. I'm all yours," Santana said with a smile.

Brittany grinned. "Does that mean I can call you my girlfriend again? You know, in my head?" she amended quickly.

Santana laughed and pecked her lips. "Yes, you can call me your girlfriend."

"Score."

Santana released her after one last kiss and they quickly put the finishing touches to their appearances.

"I can't hold your hand, can I?' Brittany asked with a small pout.

"Sorry," Santana apologised, her hand on the door handle. "Let's just get through tonight, okay?"

Brittany nodded. "What if they ask me what my intentions with you are?" she asked with wide eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"Like we're friends, right?"

Santana nodded.

"What if they ask me what I plan to do to make sure you're always happy and stuff?"

"Why is that a problem, Britt?" Santana asked in confusion, opening the door to the bathroom and walking out. "You just tell them what you've been telling me. You know, without the love stuff and the making out."

"Oh, okay," Brittany said, nodding and following Santana back into the restaurant. "Just as well I cleared that up. If they'd asked me, I would've said that my only intention right now is to fuck you senseless against a table. Or bed. Or door."

Santana's mouth dropped open in shock and arousal and Brittany breezed past her, turning back to send her an evil wink.

_Oh, God. This dinner needs to get done and fast._


	25. Chapter 25

"Mommy!"

Kurt glanced up from his menu and saw Santana and Brittany walk back to the table.

"Well, look who finally decided to join us," he said sarcastically, raising an eyebrow.

"Good evening, everyone," Brittany said, cheerfully. "It's so awesome to see you guys again."

Blaine and Finn replied in kind, but Kurt and Rachel remained silent. Kurt narrowed his gaze at Brittany who met it unwaveringly and went to sit between Santana and Bella. He was sitting on the other side of Bella, so heard the whispered exchange between the two.

"I ninja kept your seat, Big B."

"You rock, Little B. We're gonna have to do the next section of that dance sometime."

Bella clapped her hands eagerly and Brittany once again met his gaze as she rose from leaning down to talk to Bella.

 _Well this is going to be interesting_ , Kurt thought, going back to his menu.

* * *

Brittany took a deep breath and sat up straight. The looks from Kurt had given her clear warning. She was going to get it…at some point. She picked up the menu and leaned towards Bella again as they discussed what they were going to have.

"These words are all really long," Bella said, squinting at the fancy names for all the dishes.

"Totally," Brittany agreed, pointing to a particular name. "I'm pretty sure that mac and cheese or something."

Bella giggled and jumped into the game. She pointed to another one. "That's fish and chips."

Brittany laughed along with her. "Ew, that has to be some kind of spinach soup."

"Ew," Bella greed, wrinkling her nose and Brittany smiled tenderly at how replicate it was of Santana's.

She turned her head and caught Santana spying on them with a smile. She gave her a secret smile after she made sure no one else at the table was watching.

Santana returned it with a subtle wink and turned to talk to Rachel on her other side. Brittany didn't miss the determined glare that Rachel gave her either.

* * *

"So, I have news about the musical," Santana said to Rachel, her voice an octave lower than usual.

"You do?" Rachel asked, her focus suddenly on Santana at the mention of the word 'musical'. Her interrogation and observation of Brittany would have to wait. Anything to do with the theatre demanded her complete attention.

"Yeah," Santana said softly. "I'm writing the script."

"Oh," Rachel said, disappointed. She'd really hoped that Santana was going to ask her to take over the vocal coaching. But perhaps, as the writer, she could convince her to write her a-

"I'm not writing you a part in our _school_ musical, Berry," Santana chuckled. She was distracted by Brittany softly tapping her arm. Rachel surreptitiously leaned forward so that she could eavesdrop on the whispered conversation.

"San, these words are all really big and fancy. We don't know what they are."

"Don't worry, I'll order for you two," Santana replied.

Rachel noticed the look between them linger for a little longer than it should've and frowned. This was like a completely different Santana from three weeks ago. She needed to know what spell Brittany had put her under to worm her way back into her life.

"Hey, do you think that when they say snails, they mean like actual snails?" Finn asked.

"Obviously, Finn," she snapped.

"Rach, that was a little unnecessary," Santana said in a warning tone.

Rachel sighed and looked up at her husband who had a hurt puppy look on his face. "I'm sorry, sweetheart," she said softly. "I'm a little on edge tonight. I don't mean to take it out on you."

"Why are you on edge?" Santana asked casually, glancing at Rachel over the top of her menu.

Rachel looked at her friend incredulously. "Don't play dumb with me, Santana. You and I both know that everyone here is ignoring the big dancing elephant in the room?"

"There's a dancing elephant?" Brittany and Bella both asked at the same time in excitement.

Santana, Blaine and Finn burst out laughing and Rachel felt her mouth tugging upwards. Kurt didn't look amused in the slightest. Bella and Brittany just looked confused so Rachel watched as Santana leaned over to her and whispered in her ear. Her back arm went around the chair and Rachel's eyes widened as she saw Santana's thumb subtly graze against Brittany's arm. Brittany leaned into it and Rachel's eyes met Kurt's, but it seemed like he hadn't seen the exchange.

Something was definitely going on between Brittany and Santana and it was _definitely_ something more than friendship.

* * *

Blaine kept sending glances towards his boyfriend and frowned to himself. Why couldn't he just let it go? What Santana decided to do with her life and _whom_ she decided to do it with, was her business and hers alone.

When Santana had called the previous day to inform them that Brittany would be joining them for dinner, it felt like a dark cloud descended over Kurt's head and was still there. All he did was mutter about Brittany being a bad idea and Santana making the biggest mistake of her life. Blaine eventually had left the apartment and only returned when Kurt had fallen asleep.

Santana was a grown woman. Blaine realised, having not actually been present for the big breakup, that it had been pretty bad, but what good was a life where you couldn't forgive someone for a mistake? The way he'd understood the whole situation, both Brittany and Santana had been to blame. If they were willing to work through the pain and try to regain their friendship, Blaine thought that they should all be celebrating and encouraging the growth, not muttering about how big a bad idea it was.

He'd already decided that, regardless of how Kurt acted at dinner, he was going to give Brittany and Santana his support. And if it drove a wedge between him and Kurt…well, it wouldn't be the first time. Kurt was being utterly ridiculous in Blaine's opinion and someone needed to show him that.

* * *

Brittany smiled brightly at Finn, who grinned back. Brittany was super awesome. Yeah, she'd hurt Santana's feelings and stuff and she'd been all depressed – _that had been really awkward, undressing Santana_ – but that was years ago and the seemed like they were okay around each other now. Rachel hadn't shut up about Brittany coming back into Santana's life unannounced and disrupting everything that she'd built with Bella.

Finn glanced at Bella and Brittany and smiled. He'd always thought that Bella was kinda a perfect mash up between Santana and Brittany. She looked like Santana and was clever like her, but she had Brittany's compassion, happiness and wide-eyed view of the world.

As far as he was concerned, the sooner the two of them got back together, the better off they'd all be.

* * *

Kurt eyed Brittany as she drained the last sip of her second glass of wine. They hadn't even had their main courses yet. Now was the perfect time to have a little chat.

"Brittany."

She looked over and the smile that had been permanently plastered on her face, dropped away. Her eyes were immediately guarded. Kurt had to admire how their little Brittany had grown up in eight years.

"Any chance we could have a little chat?"

"Kurt," Santana said warningly, glaring at him from the other side of Brittany.

Brittany turned back to Santana and whispered something in her ear. Santana visibly relaxed so whatever she'd said had done the trick.

"Where you going, Big B?" Bella asked when she stood up. "Our food's gonna be here soon."

"I'm just going to talk with Kurt, Little B," Brittany replied, patting the top of her head softly. "We won't be long."

Bella turned to Kurt and he almost took a step back at the fierce glare in her eyes. It was the exact replica of Santana's prize glare in high school. Scarily uncanny.

"Kurt, Britt's my friend," she said sternly. "You're not allowed to be mean to her else I won't talk to you."

Kurt blinked in surprise and glanced quickly at everyone else around the table. They were all trying to hide their smiles. Not Santana. She held a proud smirk and arched an eyebrow at her friend in challenge.

"I-I-I wouldn't dream of it, Bella," Kurt finally replied. "Excuse us for a moment."

Kurt made his way outside and took a moment to gather his thoughts. He needed to be coherent and clear. There wasn't any room for misunderstanding or misleading.

* * *

"Okay, Unicorn, let's have it," Brittany said, leaning against the wall outside the restaurant. "What do you have for me?"

Kurt was a little surprise at her cavalier attitude. Had she really gotten so arrogant that she thought she was unaccountable for her actions?

"What the hell are you doing, Brittany?" he eventually got out and was thankful that it came out strong.

"Well, I _was_ enjoying a really nice evening with some really nice people, but then you decided to drag me out here and now I'm kinda wishing that I had taken my jacket." She rubbed her arms, but Kurt wasn't fooled. Women played the pity card all the time, but it sure as hell wasn't going to work with him.

"Don't play dumb, Brittany. You know exactly what I mean."

Brittany pushed herself off the wall and took a step towards Kurt. "First of all, _don't_ call me dumb. We're not in high school anymore. Second, what Santana and I decide to do is between us and has nothing _whatsoever_ to do with you or anyone else at that table, other than Bella."

"What did you do to convince Santana to give you another chance? I'm _dying_ to know what trick you worked to get back on her good side."

Brittany sighed. "I don't understand why you're so adamant to believe that I'm trying to trick Santana. She's made all the decisions since we started hanging out. She knows where I stand and I haven't pushed her." She looked up suddenly and a faint blush crossed her cheeks, but it disappeared as quickly as it arose.

"And where is it exactly that you stand with Santana? And Bella, for that matter?"

"Kurt, Santana and I agreed that we weren't going to talk about it. As for Bella, I would do _anything_ for that little girl, as well as her mother. I won't hurt either of them, especially Santana. I know I fucked up, okay? Santana knows that I fucked up. We've spoken about it _at length_ and we've found a common ground. As her friend, I would think you'd be happy for her. She's found some closure."

"Closure?" Kurt scoffed. "Is that what you've been telling yourself? That these mind games are all to help Santana get _closure_ after you ripped out her heart and stepped on it?"

"Kurt, you need calm down," Brittany said in a soft voice. It drove Kurt crazy. Who the hell did this woman think she was?

"I do _not_ need to calm down," Kurt said, pointing his finger at Brittany. "I need you to go back to wherever the hell you came from and to leave Santana alone."

"Don't you think that's her choice?" Brittany replied, folding her arms across her choice. "Santana's a big girl, Kurt. She can make her own decisions. She doesn't need you to hold her hand."

"Don't you dare patronise me," Kurt spat. "After what you did to her-"

"After what _I_ did?' Brittany said, flaring up.

 _Finally_ , Kurt thought.

"I don't know which version of the story you're choosing to remember, but _both_ of us left that relationship in tears. We were both broken. Yes, I was probably more at fault, but regardless of what happened _eight years ago_ , Santana and I have moved passed it. Maybe you should too."

Kurt stiffened. She'd called him out and she knew it. He wasn't willing to accept that Brittany was back in the picture and that he wouldn't have that special place in Santana's life anymore.

"Kurt," Brittany said gently, a smile playing on her face, "you know you're always gonna be our unicorn, right?"

Kurt glared at her. He wasn't going to make it this easy. No way could she get off so lightly.

"Please stop punishing yourself over this," Brittany urged. "And stop punishing me. I don't think any of you guys realise how much _I_ hurt after the breakup. And I didn't have any of you guys. Santana got an amazing support base, but I had to go from city to city, pretending to be happy and missing the love of my life every second of every day."

"Yeah, sounded like you really missed her," Kurt retorted. "You didn't once contact her!"

"She told me not to!" Brittany replied in exasperation. "I wanted to, so much, but when I came back to New York a year later, I chickened out. Like totally. I went back to our old apartment, but someone else was living there. I almost went to your apartment cos I figured that's where she'd be, but I got to the building and I just remember seeing how hurt she was and I couldn't."

"So why now?" Kurt was still wary, but Brittany didn't lie. That was one thing he knew he could always count on.

Brittany sighed and leaned back against the wall. "I love her, Kurt. I've always loved her. I can't be away from her. Do you know that I originally thought that Bella was Santana's girlfriend? For months, I thought that Santana was happy and in love and even though it killed me, I was glad to see her happy."

Kurt's mouth dropped open. Besides the absurdity of Bella being mistaken for Santana's girlfriend, the fact that Brittany would willingly stand by and suffer for Santana's happiness spoke volumes to him.

"Brittany, are you two back together?" Kurt asked slowly, already half knowing the answer.

Brittany looked up and met his eyes. She bit her lip as she battled with her answer. "Kurt, I don't want to lie to you, but Santana and I thought I would be best that no one knew until we told Bella."

"You haven't told Bella yet?" Kurt asked in alarm. "Christ, Britt! How long have you two been together and keeping it a secret?"

"Um…about an hour?" Brittany replied with a shrug.

"You mean…"

"That's why we took so long in the bathroom," Brittany admitted. "We were…getting reacquainted."

Kurt put up a hand. "As before, I do _not_ need to know about that."

"No, no, we didn't have sex," Brittany said. "God, we're not _that_ bad. Besides, I'm gonna do this whole thing right. I messed up when I left her and I want to show Santana that I'm worthy to have her heart again."

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Brittany, I don't want to sound like a broken record…"

"Then don't, Kurt," Brittany replied simply. "I know how you feel. I've apologised. I'm making amends. You can take it or leave it. But frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

Kurt had to grin and he caught the sparkle in Brittany's eyes. He really had missed her.

"Are we good?" Brittany asked hopefully.

Kurt took a breath. "We're okay," he said slowly. "We'll work towards good."

* * *

Santana glanced up at the doors for the twenty-seventh time in about two minutes. Kurt and Brittany had been gone for a really long time and she was getting worried. She knew that Brittany could handle herself, but Kurt didn't always have an off switch. He tended to forget where the line was.

She appreciated his protectiveness, but it was getting old. She was perfectly capable of making her own decisions, and it wasn't like she'd just taken Brittany back off the bat. It had taken a while and she was happy with her journey. She didn't feel like she'd rushed back into things with Brittany. And she knew that they weren't going to slip straight back into the routine of sex-crazed rabbits. Well, maybe a little. God, it really had been a long time…

Santana shook her head to herself and picked at her pasta. No, she and Brittany were going to do things right this time round. They were going to be out together from day one and do proper couple-y things that she'd deprived her of during high school.

"Mommy, I need to go," Bella said with a pained expression on her face.

"Okay, baby," Santana replied, standing up and picking up her daughter. "Are you having a good time?" she asked as she walked through the restaurant.

Bella nodded. "I miss Britt, though. She's been gone long."

Santana nodded and opened the door to the bathroom. "She'll be back soon, I'm sure."

"I'm keeping her seat like a ninja," Bella said proudly, running into the second cubicle.

"You totally are, baby," Santana replied, leaning against the sink as she waited.

She giggled as Bella started singing _Somebody to Love_. She remembered that it was her turn to host glee night the following week. She glanced at the bathroom door as it opened and smiled widely when she saw a familiar head of blonde hair.

"Hey," she said happily.

Brittany smiled and put a finger over her lips. Santana frowned and cocked her head in question. Brittany smiled at the sound of Bella singing and moved to stand in front of Santana, pressing her back into the sink. Santana's throat went dry. God, it felt so good when Brittany's body was pressed up against hers. One of Brittany's hands gripped the back of Santana's neck and she saw the blue eyes that she loved so much turn slightly darker as Brittany crashed their lips together.

Santana swallowed the moan that immediately rose on her throat and pulled Brittany closer to her, raking her fingers up Brittany's bare thigh. Their tongues met fiercely and Santana could swear that her knees actually buckled. Between Brittany and the sink, she managed to stay upright.

The kissing was hot, passionate, sexy and completely consuming. Santana was engulfed by Brittany, by the feel of her, by her smell, by her taste and she loved it.

The sound of a toilet flushing made Brittany pull away and place a soft kiss on Santana's cheek.

"I'll see you back at the table," she whispered in her ear. And then she was gone.

The cubicle door opened and Bella looked at her mother curiously. "Are you okay, Mama?" she asked softly.

Santana was almost afraid to look at the result of Brittany's surprise attack, but she turned around and blushed at how aroused she looked. She ran some water and helped Bella wash her hands, trying to clear her mind of all the things she _desperately_ wanted to do to Brittany. Top of her list was to make her scream her name. Soon. Loudly.

"You've got a mark on your cheek, Mommy," Bella pointed out.

Santana spied some of Brittany's lip-gloss on her cheek and quickly wiped it off. How was there possibly anything left on her lips after how they'd kissed?

"Okay," Santana said in a shaky voice. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Are we ready?"

Bella eyed her mother suspiciously but nodded and let Santana pick her up. They were almost at their table when Bella's eyes widened.

"You smell like Brittany!"

* * *

"You smell like Brittany!"

Brittany's head shot up from her steak and she caught Santana's panicked gaze.

"Hey, Little B," she greeted. "Your soup's getting cold."

"Britt!" Bella said happily, squirming out of her mother's arms.

Santana set her down and slowly found her way to her own seat. Brittany knew that look. Santana was conflicted. She knew that Bella had obviously figured something out and she hated lying to her daughter. Bella bounded to her seat and Brittany warned her to blow on the spoon before sipping her soup.

"Hey," she said softly. "I'm sorry if I made things difficult."

Santana shook her head and smiled gently at Brittany. "We're really bad at hiding things, apparently."

"Well, she _is_ a ninja," Brittany stated quietly. "She was bound to figure out something has changed sooner or later." She turned back to Bella. "Little B, how are you doing?"

"Yummy," Bella declared. "Why don't people drink soup through straws? Cos it's runny like water and soda."

"They don't make straws that can take the heat. They'd all melt. Can you think of one hot drink that uses a straw?" Brittany replied with a smile.

Bella thought long and hard. "Wow," she said finally. She grinned at Brittany. "You're so smart, Britt."

"Nowhere near as smart as you," Brittany replied with a soft ruffle of Bella's hair.

She caught Kurt's smile and returned it. She'd been nervous as hell when they'd gone outside, but she just remembered what Santana had told her. What they were doing was their business and she wasn't going to hurt Santana again. She'd die before she lost her.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Rachel asked Santana.

"Hmmm?"

Rachel frowned. Santana had been nursing her glass of wine and completely ignoring her food for the last twenty minutes.

"A liquid meal is never a good idea, Santana," she said sternly.

Santana blinked and seemed to realise what she was doing. She put her glass down and pierced a piece of broccoli with her fork.

Rachel sighed to herself. It was clearly obvious that something _more_ was going on between Brittany and Santana, but for whatever reason, neither of them were acknowledging it. Well, at least not publicly.

Whatever had been said between Brittany and Kurt had obviously eased her brother-in-law's mind, a feat that Rachel hadn't thought possible. It altered her thinking – if Brittany could convince _Kurt_ that she was good for Santana, then that should be good enough for her, right? Regardless, there was no point in discussing it now.

"Santana, why don't you tell me more about this musical you're writing?" she asked brightly.

"Oh, I'm so excited!" Brittany piped up, a big smile on her face. "I finally convinced San to write the script so now it's going to be awesome."

"Britt," Santana hushed her, but Rachel saw the blush.

Santana looked up and saw that the whole table was now interested in her new role in the musical.

"Do you have any ideas about the story?" Blaine asked.

"Uh, actually, yeah," Santana said shyly. "Um, I'm going to do a script based on our senior year in New Directions."

The table buzzed with excitement and the rest of the dinner was spent discussing which moments from their senior year should go into Santana's script.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There be smut. And since they're together now, it will be plentiful.

Santana saw that Bella's eyes were getting heavy so she suggested that they start making preparations to leave.

"Santana, I wonder if Blaine and I might be able to take Bella with us tonight?" Kurt ventured. "It's been so long since I've been shopping with my little fashionista and her birthday's coming up soon."

Santana's arms went protectively around her daughter, who was now sitting in her lap with her head resting on Santana's shoulder.

" _Mija_ , Kurt wants to know if you want to go and stay with him tonight?" she whispered to Bella in Spanish.

Bella lifted her head and smiled sleepily at her mother. "Am I allowed?" she replied in Spanish.

Santana smiled and tucked Bella's hair behind her ear. "If you want to, baby."

Bella nodded enthusiastically despite her sleepy state. Santana looked up at Kurt and nodded.

"I'd like her back home by late afternoon though," Santana said. "I need to talk to her."

"About what?" Bella asked curiously.

Santana smiled down at her daughter. "You'll find out tomorrow."

Bella pouted and Santana just gave her an Eskimo kiss. "You be good, baby girl. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

The youngest Lopez nodded and thread her arms around her mother's neck, pulling her close.

"I'll miss you, Mama," she whispered and Santana just squeezed her tighter.

"I love you, _mi amor_ ," she replied, pulling back and running her finger across Bella's forehead. Bella quietly returned the gesture and gave her mom a kiss. The little girl then turned to Brittany and held out her arms. Santana smiled and released her daughter to her girlfriend. She watched as they whispered to each other and giggled. They squeezed pinkies before Bella put her arms around Brittany's neck and hugged her. Kurt and Blaine stood up, bidding their fellow tablemates farewell. Bella jumped off Brittany's lap and gave her mother one last hug and kiss before skipping off to join Kurt and Blaine.

"It's only one night, but it feels like forever," Santana said wistfully. "It's insane how much I miss her."

Brittany smiled. "It's hard not to miss her. She lights up the room."

Santana sent her a grateful look at the attempt to make her feel better.

"So, Brittany, you're working with Santana on the musical?" Rachel asked, finishing her wine.

Brittany smiled and nodded. "I'm so excited about it. The kids are really good and they're super keen."

"I, for one, think that it's a marvellous idea," Rachel said with a smile. "Cultivating musical and theatrical talents at school level is imperative for a long career in the entertainment industry. And what better way than to have two national cheerleading and show choir champions directing them?"

Santana frowned. Berry didn't often praise someone if she wasn't indirectly complimenting herself.

"What do you want, Berry?" she asked, warily. "I can't remember that last time you said something so nice without it somehow relating back to you."

"Santana, you wound me. Is it really so surprising that I do not simply acknowledge the expertise of you and Brittany without it having something to do with my influence on the two of your during our high school days?"

"You know, I love you, Rachel, but you really are insufferable sometimes," Santana said snippily, rolling her eyes.

"Hey," Brittany said quietly, putting a subtle hand on Santana's leg. "Calm down. She's being nice."

Santana felt some of her anger dissipate at Brittany's soft touch and voice.

"Britt, I can't tell you how glad I am that you're back," Finn said with a smile. "Watching these two go at it gives me a permanent headache."

"Hey!" Santana and Rachel protested, but caught each other's gazes and grinned.

"Babe, I think we should head home," Finn suggested. "I've got an early conference call with Chicago in the morning."

Rachel stood up and hugged her husband's broad shoulders while he still sat. "My big, handsome man, bringing home the bacon. Which I would eat, if I ate meat. Or if I wasn't Jewish."

Santana and Brittany laughed as Finn blushed and stood up, helping Rachel into her coat. They all hugged each other and Brittany waved at the parting couple before sitting down and allowing herself to finally take her girlfriend in a way that she'd wanted to do all night.

Santana blushed as she watched Brittany undressing her with her eyes. It had never failed to make her feel incredibly sexy and turned on.

"So, still wanna go dancing?" Brittany asked in a low voice, smirking at Santana.

* * *

They arrived at a club that Brittany frequented and skipped the line after Brittany attacked the bouncer with a hug. She quickly introduced Santana and pulled her inside before Santana had even had a chance to say hello.

The music inside was loud and Santana immediately felt hot with her jacket on. The club was full, but Brittany navigated it easily, pulling her through the crowd.

Santana walked into Brittany when she suddenly stopped. Brittany dropped her hand and proceeded to hug a group of people. Santana stood awkwardly while she waited for Brittany to finish her hellos. She pulled her jacket off and put it on the table.

"Hey, I'm Darren," a guy shouted over the music, holding his hand out in greeting.

"Santana. How do you guys know Britt?"

"You're Santana?" Darren asked in surprise.

Santana's brow furrowed and she glanced at her girlfriend, who was animatedly gesturing to two other girls. Part of her was a little frustrated. Brittany hadn't mentioned that they were meeting her friends. She felt a little blitzkrieged. Not that she minded meeting Brittany's friends, but some forewarning would've been great. And now she was being ignored.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you," Darren said, grinning apologetically. "I just really thought that you were someone that Britt made up. I didn't think anyone could be that perfect. Or real. But here you are."

Santana blushed and smiled. "She tends to exaggerate. I'm just a girl."

She felt arms encircle her waist and squeeze. Brittany's lips grazed her exposed neck.

"Darren, you're playing nice, right?"

Darren grinned. "Always, Britt."

"Come on," Brittany said in Santana's ear. "I need to get my hands on you."

Santana moaned and let Brittany pull her onto the dance floor. Dancing with Brittany was always an experience. She moulded her body to Santana's and their hips started moving together as though they’d never stopped. The guidance from Brittany was effortless and Santana let her take charge. She always did on the dance floor. And...elsewhere.

Santana was definitely capable of keeping a beat and looking sexy whilst doing it, but her girlfriend was on another level completely and Santana loved watching her in her element. Santana’s hands rested on Brittany's waist and she pulled them flush with each other. Brittany smiled and trailed her hands up Santana's thighs, squeezing her ass before slipping a leg in between hers and moving her hips.

"You're evil," Santana growled in Brittany's ear.

Brittany chuckled and spun around, grinding her ass right into Santana's crotch. Santana closed her eyes and ran her hands over Brittany's stomach. God, she was so turned on, it was ridiculous. She pulled Brittany's back against her front and whispered in her ear, "You are so incredibly sexy and you're all mine."

Brittany pressed back into Santana hard at hearing her staking her claim. Santana knew that Brittany loved it when Santana was possessive. Brittany rested her head back on Santana's shoulder as she started kissing the exposed skin of Brittany’s neck. Brittany continued to grind against her and took Santana’s hands and put them on her body. Santana happily obliged and continued to move her hands up and down, squeezing, ghosting and digging.

Finally, after enough torture and a very dark mark on Brittany's neck, she spun around and crashed her lips to Santana's. Their tongues danced inside their mouths as their bodies mirrored the efforts.

"I love you," Santana gasped, breaking away. "Please take me home. I need to feel you so badly."

"Are you sure?" Brittany asked, her dark eyes betraying her desire. "We can take this slow, if you want."

Santana took Brittany's hand and slipped it underneath her dress. Brittany moaned loudly in her ear at the feel of Santana's wetness through her underwear.

"That's all for you because I can't _wait_ to have you inside me again," Santana said in Brittany's ear. "I need you, Brittany Pierce, and I need you _now_."

"Wait here."

Brittany disappeared and Santana took the time alone to try and calm her racing heart and burning libido. She had _never_ wanted Brittany more than she did at that moment. Out of all the times they'd had make up sex or angry sex or role play sex, she'd never burned or physically _ached_ to be with her like she was at that moment.

Brittany was in front of her again, jackets in hand. She smiled and kissed Santana hard before grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the exit.

The cab drive home was difficult because they could barely keep their hands off each other, but Santana had seen how their cab driver had looked at them when they'd got in. She'd sent Brittany a knowing look although the pout she'd gotten in return had almost made her dive between Brittany's legs right then.

Santana threw far too much money at the driver and followed Brittany out of the cab, almost running through the door that Oliver held open for them.

"Good evening, ladies."

"Hi, Noddy!" the girls chorused, giggling and falling over themselves to get to the elevator.

They tumbled into the elevator, fused at the lips. Santana pressed Brittany against the back wall, pausing only to hit the correct floor before she resumed her assault on her mouth. Brittany groaned and grabbed Santana's ass and hoisted her up, turning and pressing her against the other wall. Santana wrapped her legs around her girlfriend's waist and took deep breaths as Brittany squeezed her breasts and kissed the tops softly. The tenderness was a far cry from what they'd been doing to each other's mouths ten seconds ago, but Santana was relieved at the change of pace, if nothing just to get her breath back.

The doors opened and Santana locked eyes with Brittany. Her thighs quivered slightly at the predatory look in those blue eyes. Brittany got a good grip on Santana and carried her out the lift and to her apartment door, never breaking their gaze.

"I love you," she whispered.

Santana smiled and leaned down to capture Brittany's lips in a sweet kiss. "I love you, too."

"Where are the keys?" Brittany asked, a hungry grin on her face.

Santana quickly scrambled around in her purse and produced them. Brittany held one arm around her girlfriend and Santana was impressed with her strength. She'd always been able to lift Santana, but they were both in heels and Brittany was only using one arm.

Santana lowered her head to place soft kisses along Brittany's pale neckline.

"Uh, not helping," Brittany grunted, her hand around Santana's waist squeezing.

Santana simply smiled and continued her kissing. She heard the key turn in the lock with a triumphant laugh from Brittany and Santana felt herself being carried into her apartment. The door was kicked closed and Santana's back hit against it almost immediately. Brittany was pressing up against her in delicious ways. Their mouths met again in a fiery kiss and Brittany slowly let Santana down so that they were level again.

Brittany's eyes didn't leave hers as she reached behind Santana and pulled down the zip of her dress, running her hands across the bare skin. Santana leaned her head back against the door and smiled, savouring the feel of Brittany's safe hands caressing her skin. It felt so natural. It felt like they belonged there.

"You're so beautiful," Brittany murmured, hooking her fingers under the straps of Santana's dress and pulled it down over her upper body, exposing her strapless black lace bra.

Santana smiled again and pulled her in for a heated kiss, teasing her with her tongue. Brittany kept her hands on her as her mouth left Santana's and trailed hot kisses down her neck and across her chest. Santana gasped as Brittany slipped her tongue underneath the fabric of the bra and flicked over Santana's nipple. She moaned. She hadn't experienced this kind of attention since…well, since Brittany, actually.

"Britt," Santana said, pulling Brittany's face back up to hers.

"What's wrong?" she asked in alarm.

"No, nothing. I, um…I need to tell you something."

"Anything."

Santana suddenly became very shy and looked down, but Brittany tipped her chin and waited patiently.

"Uh, it's, um…It's been…awhile for me," Santana admitted softly.

"Okay," Brittany said with a smile. "I'll be gentle the first few rounds."

That made Santana blush furiously. "Uh, when I say a _while_ , I mean…"

Brittany frowned in confusion. "How long are talking here?"

"Eight years?" Santana whispered.

"San, seriously?" Brittany asked, her mouth open.

Santana nodded and dropped her head onto Brittany's shoulder in embarrassment. "God, this is humiliating."

"No, it's wonderful," Brittany replied, cradling her girlfriend's head in her hands so that she could look into her eyes. "You trust me enough to give yourself to me like this and I can't express how happy that makes me. I love you, Santana Lopez, and no matter what happened over the last eight years, this is like my first time again, because it's with the person that matters."

Santana smiled widely and pulled Brittany into her for a kiss. They made out against the door until the temperature crept back up to urgent. Brittany released Santana's mouth and went back to her breasts. Santana gasped at the sensation of Brittany's tongue on her bare skin. As Brittany paid loving attention to her chest, she pushed the rest of her own dress down over her hips and to the floor. She kicked off her own shoes and let Santana do the same.

Brittany dropped to her knees and kissed Santana’s hard stomach. She had _missed_ this beautiful stomach. She loved it even more knowing that Bella had filled it at one point. She slowly pulled Santana's matching black lace underwear down her legs and postponed looking at the one place she really wanted to until she'd kissed Santana's smooth legs from bottom to top. Santana's hands had come to rest in Brittany's hair and she tugged softly in anticipation.

Brittany raised her eyes and licked her lips at the sight of Santana's wet pussy, begging for her attention.

"I have missed this _so_ much," she whispered, more to herself than anyone else, but she heard Santana hum in agreement.

She leaned forward, momentarily allowing the scent that was unmistakably Santana invade her senses. She still smelled exactly the same. Brittany would recognise that scent _anywhere_. She licked her lips again, realising she was nervous.

"Baby," Santana whined.

Brittany grinned widely at the pet name and dove in, starting with soft licks up and down Santana's folds. Santana immediately started shaking in response and let out stifled moans. Brittany smiled and focused on her task – to welcome Santana back into the world of the sexually active with a mind-blowing orgasm. She still knew all of her tells and weaknesses. She reached behind her girlfriend and grabbed her ass, pushing her face into Santana's wet core. She was rewarded with a loud moan at the action. Brittany buried her tongue a little deeper between Santana's slit and ended her stroke with a soft flick over the small bundle of nerves at the top.

Santana's legs trembled and she started whimpering. Brittany took a moment to get a deep breath in her lungs because she had a feeling that it wouldn't take much longer and she didn't want to stop because of a lack of oxygen. Dropping a little lower, Brittany entered Santana with her tongue and moaned at all the juices that hit her. The taste of pure Santana. She pushed and swirled her tongue around inside and felt Santana's walls pulling and tightening around her. She drove in harder and pulled Santana closer to her but wasn't sure how much closer they could get. She dropped one of her hands from her girlfriend's ass and timed a final thrust deep into Santana at the same time she flicked her clit with her thumb.

"Oh, Brittany!" Santana cried out, arching her back off the door and fisting her hands in blonde hair as her entire body shook.

Brittany slowly licked Santana clean and brought her down carefully, sure that she was pretty sensitive after having someone down there for the first time since, well, the last time _she_ was down there. Brittany used her hand to wipe Santana's juices from her chin, cheeks and mouth and then cleaned her hand, relishing in her girlfriend's taste all over her.

Santana was grabbing at her arms, trying to pull her up and Brittany obliged, holding her in her arms. Santana met her lips lazily and smiled.

"I love it when you taste like me."

"Not as much as I love tasting you."

"Pretty sure I love that the most."

Brittany chuckled and just held Santana against the door as they kissed gently. When Brittany felt Santana regain some strength, she pulled her close for a hug. Santana responded and squeezed back. She trailed kisses down Brittany's neck and along her shoulder, down her arm and to her hand, which she brought up to her lips. She kissed every finger and rolled her tongue around the index finger, wrapping her plump lips over it and sucking it into her mouth. Her eyes didn't leave Brittany's the whole time.

Brittany’s jaw dropped open and she was pretty sure that she may have had a little mini-orgasm.

"Oh," she whispered, drawing out the sound.

Santana released her finger with a small popping sound and a smirk on her face. "Let's go sit down," she suggested, linking their fingers and walking towards the couch, making sure that Brittany got a full view of her naked ass. Santana pulled Brittany towards her and met her surprised lips with a passionate kiss. Their arms went around each other and hands started roaming. Santana hadn't found a zip through her explorations so she just started pulling Brittany's dress down roughly, lathering kisses wherever she unveiled a new patch of skin. Considering how much the dress had cost her, Brittany thought about just taking it off to reduce the risk of it getting damaged, but when Santana raked her teeth over her clavicle, soothing it with her tongue, she forgot everything.

Brittany let out a loud moan and clawed Santana's back, needing Santana to touch her everywhere at once.

* * *

Santana tugged impatiently at the dress until it was bunched around Brittany's waist. She paused momentarily, just let her eyes take in the sight of Brittany's flushed body, her rising breasts as she took heavy breaths, encased in a tight black bra, pushing them together to make them look even more delectable. Santana reached behind her girlfriend and unclasped it, resting her head in the crook of Brittany's neck as she felt her naked breasts against her chest.

"I've missed this," she whispered. "I've missed feeling you."

Brittany smiled and gently linked her fingers with Santana's. "Then reacquaint yourself," she replied huskily, putting Santana’s hands on her breasts.

Santana didn't need a second invitation. She started gently massaging Brittany's beautiful mounds and lowered her mouth to one, loving how Brittany inhaled sharply at the sensation and dug her fingers into Santana's hips. When Brittany started whimpering softly, Santana knew that she was dying to be touched. And she was dying to touch. She pulled the rest of the dress over Brittany's hips and down her gloriously long legs. Santana let her step out of it and stood up, smiling into blue eyes. Brittany smiled back and leaned in for a kiss, but Santana pushed her back onto the couch. Brittany landed and had no time to react before Santana was straddling her and gyrating their bodies together.

"Jesus," Brittany groaned, wishing she had more hands to cover Santana's naked skin and pull her closer.

Santana had to swallow her own moans at the feeling of their naked flesh pressed together. This whole ordeal was working her up again and she hadn't even tasted Brittany yet. She crashed their lips together and, more out of habit than anything else, reached down to cup Brittany’s soaking core. Brittany moaned into Santana's mouth and bucked her hips up into the touch, demanding more friction.

Santana had waited long enough. She broke away from Brittany and swung off her lap onto the floor. She knelt in front of Brittany and looked up, meeting her girlfriend's hazy eyes. She was really turned on and it made Santana bite her lip in anticipation. Brittany shifted forward on the couch, widening her legs in front of Santana, drawing her gaze down to Brittany’s soaked panties. Santana hooked her fingers underneath them and pulled them slowly down, her eyes never leaving the now naked Brittany in front of her. She tossed her girlfriend's underwear to one side and leaned up, capturing Brittany's lips in a soft kiss, before she trailed them down to her ultimate destination.

She was impatient and wanted Brittany _now_. Without warning, Santana drove into her with her tongue, causing Brittany to jerk violently at the welcome intrusion. Santana pulled out and licked her lips with a smile. Hmmm, essence of Brittany. Still her favourite mealtime. She dove back in and proceeded to eat her writhing girlfriend out at a furious pace.

"Close!" Brittany cried. "Oh, God, don't stop!"

Santana scoffed to herself. As if she was going to stop her favourite thing in the world. She slowed her ministrations and pulled her tongue out, running it up Brittany's slit and toying with her clit. Brittany moaned loudly and grabbed Santana's head, forcing her to go back down to her entrance. Santana giggled and obliged, dipping her tongue softly and exploratory.

"Santana!" Brittany whined.

Santana chuckled, her breaths and the movements of her lips never far from Brittany’s pussy. Santana realised that she had probably teased Brittany more than usual by this point and retracted her tongue once more, replacing it with two of her fingers. Brittany moaned in approval and relaxed against the cushions. Santana moved her tongue to her girlfriend's clit and slowly grazed her tongue over and around it. The blonde bucked up again, but Santana's other arm was splayed across her stomach, keeping her down.

Thereafter, a few deep thrusts and well-timed licks across Brittany's clit had the blonde a trembling mess under Santana's mouth.

"You wanna come for me, baby?" Santana said softly, her breath washing over Brittany's sensitive nub.

Brittany nodded fervently, her eyes pleading.

"I couldn't hear you, Britt," Santana teased.

"God, yes!" Brittany burst out. "Only for you, San. I wanna come for you."

Santana smiled in triumph and sucked on Brittany's clit and thrusting in deep with her fingers, twisting and curling them to hit the spot that she knew drove the blonde wild. It was enough to send her over the edge. Santana looked up and watched the pure beauty of Brittany experiencing an orgasm. Her eyes squeezed closed, her hand went to her breast, she bit her lip and arched her back, fell back a little and arched it again.

"Santana," she moaned as she fell against the back on the couch, her chest heaving.

Santana kept her fingers inside as she brought her down and cleaned her up. When she was done, she glanced up and saw Brittany's eyes were still closed and her breathing had relaxed a little. She wasn't asleep, Santana knew that much. She straddled Brittany again and rested her arms on her shoulders, softly nuzzling her neck with her nose and a few feather kisses.

"Hmmm," Brittany murmured. "That was…wow."

Santana smiled into her neck. "I'm glad you enjoyed it, B. I _definitely_ enjoyed watching you come. You're so incredibly sexy when you orgasm."

"You're so weird," Brittany chuckled, rolling her head so that she could kiss Santana's cheek.

Santana pulled back and kissed Brittany. This was definitely one of the things she'd missed most about sex with Brittany. Besides the _amazing_ sex that they always had, the post-coital cuddling was one of her favourite parts. Falling asleep entangled with each other and waking up the next morning even more entangled.

"Are you tired?" Santana asked softly.

"Nope," Brittany replied, kissing her girlfriend's jaw line. "Are you?"

"Not even close," Santana smirked.

"We'd best put good use to that energy," Brittany suggested with an attempted serious look on her face.

Santana laughed, but it was cut off by Brittany's lips against hers. She returned the kiss and it soon became even more R-rated, with hands wandering over two naked bodies. Well, almost naked. Brittany wanted to feel all of Santana and fumbled with the clasp of her bra, not wanting to break their kiss, but the angle was awkward. Santana batted her hands away and easily unclasped it, tossing it onto the couch without leaving Brittany's lips. Brittany’s hands and mouth immediately went to the newly naked flesh and Santana threw her head back in pleasure.

"Uh," Santana grunted. "Britt…bed…please?"

Brittany didn't stop lavishing her attention to Santana's breasts and simply picked her up. Santana wrapped her legs around Brittany's waist and clung to her as Brittany carried them easily to Santana's bedroom. She was deposited onto the bed gently and immediately felt a body cover hers. She moaned and canted her hips up, slipping a leg between Brittany's and grabbing her ass. She ground up, relieving some of the friction against her own pussy. Brittany joined her groan, abandoned Santana's breasts and met her mouth, grinding down hard into her.

They found a rhythm automatically, their bodies fitting perfectly together as they always had. Their kisses alternated from slow and soft, to hard and passionate, to lazy, to sloppy, to loving. Their hips moved completely in sync and Santana gasped, throwing her head back into the pillow in pleasure. It wasn't enough, though. She knew that grinding alone wouldn't be enough to send Brittany over for the second time either, as good as it felt. She rolled them over and slipped a hand in between Brittany’s legs, sneakily slipping two fingers into her. God, how was it possible that she'd gotten that wet again so quickly?

Brittany broke their kiss and bit down on Santana's shoulder in pleasure. Her own hand travelled downwards and she slipped inside Santana, who moaned loudly at being filled with Brittany's fingers. There wasn't anything quite as dextrous as her girlfriend's fingers. She rode them hard, making sure to keep the rhythm of her own fingers inside Brittany. Their movements increased in speed as they both climbed higher to that point of explosion.

"Almost," Santana gasped.

"Wait!" Brittany replied, breathing hard and thrusting up against Santana's hand. "Together."

Santana just nodded into Brittany's neck where she was pretty sure she'd left an army of hickeys. She picked up the pace of her fingers in Brittany, slowing down on her own thrusting against Brittany’s fingers inside her. Santana worked her thumb up to Brittany's clit and pressed down.

"Yes," Brittany gasped. "Again."

Santana repeated the process until she could feel Brittany shaking beneath her. Brittany found Santana’s clit and circled it. That was last straw for Santana and she exploded, arching into Brittany. The force of that pushed Brittany over the edge too. Santana eventually remembered how to breathe and allowed Brittany to roll her over. Their lips met in a soft, sensual kiss. Santana's eyes flew open when she felt Brittany's fingers still moving inside her, doing that delicious curling and twisting thing that she loved.

"Britt, what-" she cried hoarsely.

"Sssh," Brittany hushed lovingly. "I'm showing you how much I love you and how much I've missed you."

Santana couldn't argue with her methods, so she just closed her eyes and allowed herself to be built up again slowly. Brittany trailed kisses down her body and used her tongue gently on Santana's pussy. When she came, it wasn't nearly as powerful as the previous two orgasms, but it was still enough to render her limbs useless – a fact Brittany took to full advantage as she coaxed _another_ orgasm out of her immediately after with a few choice licks of Santana's clit.

Santana managed to regain enough strength to grip Brittany's hair and pull. The pain made Brittany chuckle and she released her hold on Santana's sex and moved up her girlfriend's body with kisses placed all over her exposed skin.

"You're amazing," Santana said, completely out of breath. "I love you _so_ much."

"You only love me cos I gave you four awesome orgasms," Brittany teased, wrapping her arms around Santana's waist.

"Hmmm," Santana murmured. "But I really do love you."

Brittany smiled and snuggled into her girlfriend. "I know."

With great difficulty, Santana rolled her body over so that Brittany could be the big spoon.

"Best first time ever," Brittany whispered and Santana let out a small chuckle before they both let sleep take them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Join the Brittana discord! We talk about absolute nonsense - and also Brittana! https://discord.gg/WUpexmr


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the gaps in posting updates. IRL stuffs.

A loud pounding brought Santana out of her deep slumber. She lifted her head and blinked her eyes open. Had it been a dream? Nope, there it was again.

Santana groaned and buried her face in her pillow. She didn't want to get up. An arm around her tightened and Santana turned her head and smiled at Brittany's beautiful sleeping face. As expected, they were completely entangled in each other. Santana leaned forward to kiss her when the loud banging interrupted her.

"Ugh, fine!" she muttered, getting off the bed as gently as she could so as not to wake Brittany. She pulled on a pair of short shorts and her tank top.

She walked to the front door and opened it, not bothering to check who was on the other side.

"What?" she snapped, then her eyes opened wide. "Uh, hi! What are you guys doing here?"

Maribel and Emilio Lopez gave their daughter a once over and she sheepishly stepped back and allowed them into her apartment, trying to flatten her very obvious bed hair. She closed the door behind them and her eyes widened when she saw her dress, panties and shoes lying on the floor. She quickly bent down and picked them up.

"Um, sorry, I wasn't expecting you," Santana mumbled. "Um, just gonna go put this in my room."

"All right, _mija_ ," Maribel said with a smile.

Santana tried to smile casually and turned around.

"Santana! What on earth happened to your back?" Maribel cried in horror, lifting her daughter's tank top higher.

"What do you mean?" Santana asked in confusion. "I can't see."

"There are all these red lines. They look almost like scratches."

Santana's jumped away from her mother and blushed, pulling her tank top down in embarrassment. "Uh, must be an allergic reaction or something."

"Nita, what's that on your neck?" Emilio asked, joining the inspection.

_Oh, God. Kill me now. Just kill me. I'm about to die of embarrassment._

"Uhhhhm," Santana mumbled.

She saw her mother's eyes widen as recognition hit her.

"Oh," she said softly. "Santana, are those…?"

"Mom!" Santana whined, sounding very much her old teenage self.

" _Mija_ , there's no need to be embarrassed. You're a grown woman. We understand that you have…needs."

"Oh, God, I'm not hearing this right now," Santana mumbled, hugging the clothes in her arms closer to her.

"I have no idea what's going on," Emilio said in confusion, shaking his head and moving to sit on the couch.

Santana just spun around and practically ran into her bedroom. She leaned against the closed door and couldn't stop the smile spreading across her face at the sight of her girlfriend laying spread-eagled on her stomach across the bed. Brittany’s arm had gripped Santana's pillow and her face was mashed into it. Santana felt her heart flutter at the memory of what they'd experienced the previous night. She didn't think it could've been any more perfect.

She dropped the clothes and shoes onto the floor and climbed onto the bed, trailing kisses up Brittany's spine and pressing her body against hers.

"Hmmm," Brittany mumbled, not moving.

"Stay sleeping, babe," Santana whispered. "I'll sort out some breakfast for us."

Ideally, she didn't want her parents to meet her girlfriend under such conditions. Obviously, they knew who Brittany was, but Santana hadn't even told them that they'd rekindled their friendship let alone their relationship. Granted, they hadn't even been back together for twelve hours yet. Santana smiled at that. It felt like time had stood still for them. Everything was perfect.

Santana raised her head and kissed Brittany's exposed cheek. Brittany shifted and moved her arm behind her, promptly resting her hand on Santana's ass.

Santana chuckled and kissed Brittany's cheek once more. "You, my love, have a one-track mind. Sweet dreams. I love you."

Brittany's hand dropped from her ass and Santana gave her girlfriend one last peck on the cheek before getting up and taking out a pair of shorts and a shirt for Brittany to put on when she did wake up.

She walked out of her bedroom and pulled the door closed gently.

"Um, Nita?" her father asked uncomfortably.

" _Si, papi_?" Santana replied, looking up.

Her face burned at the sight of her father holding up two black bras.

 _Oh crap. Oh, no. Brittany's panties…where the_ hell _did I throw them?_

" _Mija_ , you can tell us," Maribel said gently.

"Uh," Santana stammered. "Yeah, s-someone's here."

"That's wonderful, Santana," Emilio said with a smile, awkwardly placing the two bras on the coffee table.

"Who wants breakfast?" Santana said suddenly. "Omelettes? That sounds awesome."

"Santana, where's Bella?" Maribel queried.

"Uh, she's with Kurt and Blaine. They wanted to take her shopping for her birthday, even though it's only next month." Santana grabbed her big pan and gently put it down on the stove, not wanting to wake Brittany.

She went to the fridge and pulled out everything she needed for omelettes and started cracking eggs into a bowl. "Sorry, Mami. You never told me what you guys were doing here?"

"We did send you a message to say we were coming to visit. Your father had a conference here yesterday and I tagged along."

"Uh, sorry, my phone is…somewhere," Santana apologised, feeling the heat rise up her back. She subconsciously rubbed the dark marks littering her neck and shoulders.

"So will Bella be back later? We're here till tomorrow evening," Maribel continued.

"Uh, yeah. But, um…I need to talk to her tonight. So, maybe we can do lunch tomorrow? Or a picnic in the park?"

"That sounds lovely," Emilio said with a smile. " _Mija_ , do you mind if I check the news channels?"

Santana waved her hand and let her parents relax in the living room as she busied herself with making omelettes. She grabbed three glasses and filled them with orange juice, opening the fridge to put it back. She was so focused on her task that she didn't hear her bedroom door open and someone padding softly across the floor into the kitchen.

She squealed when she felt two arms engulf her from behind and soft kisses pressed against her neck.

"Hello there, gorgeous," Brittany whispered.

Despite the surprise attack, Santana felt a smile cross her face and she leaned into her girlfriend.

"Morning," she whispered. "Um, Britt-"

But she was cut off by Brittany spinning her around and pressing their lips together. Santana instinctively returned the kiss, but then remembered who was sitting four feet away.

"B, wait," she said, breaking away.

"What?" Brittany asked, confusion clouding her eyes.

Santana just inclined her head towards the living room. Brittany turned her head and saw Santana's parents looking at them with great interest.

"Mr. and Mrs. Lopez!" Brittany exclaimed, jumping a foot away from Santana. "Um, hi!"

"Brittany?" Maribel asked, clearly confused.

She waved awkwardly.

"Mami, Papi, may I reintroduce you to Brittany," Santana said, stepping forward. She glanced at Brittany with a small smile before adding, "my girlfriend."

"Oh," Maribel and Emilio said quietly.

* * *

"That was beyond awkward," Brittany mumbled once Santana's parents had left.

Santana smiled and carried dirty glasses into the kitchen. "Don't worry about it, B. They were just a little surprised. They didn't even know we were back on speaking terms, let alone back in my bed."

"Speaking of, can we go back there now?" Brittany pleaded. "I just wanna cuddle with you."

Santana couldn't stop the goofy smile from spreading across her face. She had definitely missed the feeling of being stupidly and completely in love and doing cheesy, romantic things that she'd scoffed at when she was younger.

"Absolutely," she said, holding out her hand. "Let's go."

Brittany skipped to her girlfriend and grabbed her hand, pulling her into the dark bedroom. Santana quickly undressed and joined an already naked Brittany under the covers. She was always the quickest to undress. Santana didn't know how she did so fast. They had always preferred sleeping naked, loving the feeling of skin on skin as their bodies merged during sleep.

Santana lay on her back and Brittany rested her head on Santana’s toned stomach.

"San?" she asked quietly.

"Hmmm?" Santana replied, running her fingers through Brittany's long blonde hair.

Brittany was quiet for a while, but Santana didn't push her. She knew that Brittany was simply gathering her thoughts and wanted to say something without being misunderstood.

"I wanna ask you something," Brittany said eventually, her voice a little shaky from nerves. "I didn't use one of my daily questions for it cos I wasn't sure if I was allowed to know cos we were only friends then, but now that we're together, I think I'm allowed to know."

"You wanna know about Bella's father?" Santana asked softly.

Brittany just nodded, her cheek rubbing slightly against Santana's ribs. Santana sighed to herself. She'd known that the conversation was coming. She hadn't been avoiding it or anything, but she hated the thought of how the whole thing had happened. She was ashamed, and she was terrified that Brittany would think less of her.

"It was about a month after you'd left," Santana began quietly, continuing threading her fingers through Brittany's hair. It was soothing for her. "I'd managed to go a full day without crying and Kurt and Rachel considered it to be a big step so they convinced me to go out with them. We went to this bar and I just drank way too much. I don't remember why I drank like that; I don't even remember meeting…him. All I remember is waking up the next morning and not recognising where I was and I saw this… _person_ in the bed next to me. I just grabbed my stuff and got out." Santana felt tears prickling her eyes. She almost felt like she'd cheated on Brittany. Yes, she'd gotten Bella from that and she would never regret having her daughter, but she just wished that it had been something a little more meaningful that a drunken one-night stand. And preferably with someone she loved with her whole heart. Someone like Brittany.

"San." Brittany lifted her head and scooted up the bed, resting her head on the pillow next to Santana's. "I'm sorry that you regret how it happened. And you didn't cheat on me. Well, that's not how I see it anyway."

Santana blinked. She thought she'd said that last bit in head. Evidently not.

"I would've loved more than anything to have given you Bella," Brittany continued, "even though, you know, I don't have the means to."

Santana leaned forward and captured Brittany's lips with her own. "I'm very glad you don't have the means to," she said quietly. Then she realised how she'd sounded. "I mean, of course I would, but I'm glad you have your lady parts. Cos, you know, I really like your lady parts." She blushed.

Brittany giggled. "I like your lady parts too. And I know what you meant." She paused. "So after you walked out?"

Santana gave a small shrug. "I cried all the way home. Kurt and Rachel were freaking out because they didn't know where I'd disappeared to and my phone had died. I spent the next three days in bed. I felt sick about what I'd done. Not just the sex, but with a _guy_." She involuntarily shuddered. "When I didn't get my period the next month, I started freaking out. I went to get like twenty pregnancy tests and they all came back positive."

"And you don't believe in abortion," Brittany supplied. "You didn't think about giving the baby up, like Quinn did?"

Santana paused. "Honestly, it never crossed my mind until I was about four months pregnant. By that stage, my parents had already cut me off-"

"What?" Brittany asked in alarm.

"Oh, yeah, my dad told me that I was throwing my life away if I had the baby and I told him that I refused to have an abortion and he said that if that was my choice then we were done. But that all got sorted out. Kurt tricked them into coming to New York when Bella was eight months and we reconciled."

Brittany sighed wistfully. "I missed so much. I should've been here for you when you were pregnant. I should've been here when she was born and helped you take care of her."

"B, you told me you weren't sorry that you went on tour. Part of me wishes that you were here, of course. I can't remember how many times I cried for you, even after Bella was born. I just wanted you here, even if we weren't together. You just made me feel…safe? I dunno."

Brittany wrapped her arms around Santana's waist and snuggled deep into her side. Santana turned her head and pressed her lips against her girlfriend's forehead, not breaking the contact.

"Sorry for interrupting you," Brittany said after a while. "You were telling me about why you didn't go the adoption route."

Santana turned onto her side so that she was facing Brittany. Their legs entwined and arms went around each other, pulling them as close as they could get. Santana rested her head against Brittany's.

"My decision not to go for adoption was two-fold. Firstly, I saw what losing her daughter did to Quinn. She completely lost it. I was already without you. If I lost something else that was such a big part of me, I didn't think I'd cope. As it was, I was struggling to stay afloat. And secondly, I could feel her inside me. I read that there's that bond that mothers have with their unborn children and I was feeling it. Regardless of how she was conceived, that little person growing inside me meant everything to me and I knew that there was no way I'd be able to give birth to her and then never look at her again."

Brittany's eyes held nothing but love and understanding. Their fingers were softly tracing each other's skin as they spoke.

"I love you, Santana," Brittany said softly. "I know I missed out on a lot, but maybe we can create our own family. You, me and Bella."

Santana smiled. "You wanna be a family, B?"

Brittany blushed. "I just want you, San."

"You have me," Santana replied, leaning in to kiss her. "But we're gonna take the next few months to get back the time we lost, okay? We have eight years to catch up on."

Brittany grinned wickedly. "I know _you_ have eight years to catch up on."

Santana smiled shyly. "I'm starting to regret that I told you that," she mumbled.

"No, don't be," Brittany said earnestly, rolling Santana onto her back and laying on top of her. "It just means that I get to show you extra what you've been missing out on."

Santana smiled, but it faltered slightly.

"What?" Brittany asked softly, brushing her lips over her girlfriend's cheek.

"Well, it's just that we've established my sexual history over the last eight years, or lack thereof, but…"

"Oh," Brittany said, slipping off Santana. They resumed their previous position of facing each other, entangled.

"Look, I know that I don't have any say in who you slept with or whatever," Santana said, her eyes downcast.

"No, San, I want you to know," Brittany said softly, tipping her chin up so that their eyes met. She took a deep breath. "I met this girl, Sara, about three months into the tour. She listened to me talk about you for hours and days and one night, after a huge show in London, we got really drunk and ended up having sex. I did remember it, and I remembered how weird I felt. Like when I lost my virginity to that guy at cheer camp? It felt like an alien invasion. I told Sara that I was sorry, but it couldn't happen again because she wasn't you. I think that really hurt her feelings, but I had to be honest. Unfortunately, it did happen again. And again. But it was just sex. I had no attachment to her other than physical."

Santana tried to swallow the pain at the thought of another girl being with Brittany. It was ridiculous – she had no claim to the blonde back then. Regardless, it still hurt.

"Baby,' Brittany whispered, seeing Santana struggling with the hurt. "She wasn't ever you. She could never be you. She only ever had my body. You always had everything. My heart, my soul, everything."

Santana nodded. "Yeah, I know. It's stupid. You were single. You were free to date and sleep with whomever."

Brittany said nothing, just searched Santana's eyes. She leaned forward and kissed her passionately. If Santana didn't believe her words, she'd just have to show her. Santana's arms went tightly around Brittany as she pulled her impossibly close for the kiss. They clung to each other, lips moving against each other for what seemed like hours.

"I love you so much, Santana," Brittany whispered as she peppered kisses all over her face. "It's only ever been you."

"I love you, too," Santana whispered back. "And even though I trust you with everything, I'm still so scared that you're going to leave again."

"I understand that. That's why I want you to know everything that happened. I don't want any secrets or things we don't know. I don't want there to be any surprises that may shake the trust you've given me."

Santana's brow furrowed. "Is there something that could come up that would make me doubt that?" she asked in a small voice.

"No," Brittany said honestly. "Sara was the only person I ever slept with after you and I don't think I killed anyone. I may have some parking tickets."

Santana smiled and pulled Brittany in for a hug. "Thank you," she whispered.

"For what?"

"For coming back to me."

* * *

Brittany was stressing out. If she'd been nervous about the dinner the previous night, this was ten times worse. Shit, had the dinner really only been the previous night? So much had happened since then.

She was sitting on the couch while Santana was in the shower. After an afternoon alternating between talking and making love, Kurt had called, saying that he and Blaine were headed back to drop Bella off. That had brought Brittany back down to reality pretty quickly. They were going to tell Bella. What if Bella didn't like the idea of her and Santana being together? What if she pulled the 'I won't talk to you" card that she'd threatened Kurt with?

"B, you back?" Santana called from the bathroom.

Brittany had run upstairs to shower and grab some clean clothes. They'd both agreed that them showering within proximity of each other would just distract them.

"Yeah," Brittany replied, rubbing her hands up and down her denim clad thighs.

"You look nice," Santana said, walking out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her.

Brittany couldn't help but let her eyes wander up Santana’s gorgeous legs, skipping the towel and letting her gaze rest on the tops of her breasts that were visible above the towel.

"Brittany Susan Pierce," Santana smirked, putting a hand on her hip. "Are you checking me out?"

Brittany just nodded fervently and licked her suddenly dry lips. "Go and get dressed," she said quickly.

"Demanding, aren't we?" Santana said, raising an eyebrow.

"If you don't, I'll be forced to drag you back into that bedroom and have you scream my name. Again."

Santana's smirk dropped and she visibly tightened her legs.

"B, that's not fair!" Santana whined. "God, you can't _say_ shit like that!"

"Well, you can't walk around like _that_ when I'm not allowed to take advantage of it, so there," Brittany retorted with a smile.

Santana rolled her eyes and disappeared into the bedroom, leaving Brittany alone. Which meant her thoughts overran her again and she just imagined mini-Santana telling her that she didn't want her mommy to get hurt again and Brittany should just leave.

"Crap. Shit. Crap. Fuck," she muttered, squeezing her eyes closed and dropping her head onto her knees.

"B?"

Brittany raised her head and saw a concerned, clothed (thank goodness) Santana kneeling in front of her.

"What's wrong?"

Brittany sighed. "I love Bella, San. She's amazing and I've told you what a great job you've done with her."

"She loves you too, babe," Santana replied softly, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind Brittany's ear.

"But what if she doesn't think I'm worthy to be with you?"

Santana frowned. "I really don't think that's going to a problem, B. She doesn't stop talking about you. She always asks me when she's gonna see you again."

"Really?"

Santana smiled warmly. "Really, really. You okay now?"

Brittany nodded and pulled Santana into her lap. Santana’s wet hair draped around them as they met slowly for a tender kiss. They broke apart and Santana stood up, holding a hand out to her girlfriend.

"Bella will most likely be ravenous when she gets home. Come and help me make a snack for all of us?"

Brittany smiled and took the offered hand. She and Santana happily moved around each other in the kitchen, preparing a simple chicken noodle salad. Brittany poured them each a glass of white wine and gave her girlfriend a kiss before jumping onto the island and just watching Santana busy herself. When the salad was done, Santana came to stand in between Brittany's legs and gave her a lingering kiss.

"It'll be fine, B," she said softly. "Just remember that I love you."

"Love you too, San," Brittany replied with a smile, leaning forward for another kiss.

The front door flew open and Santana jumped away from Brittany.

"Mommy!" Bella squealed, running into the kitchen.

Brittany just watched as Santana picked her daughter up and held her close.

"I missed you, baby girl," she whispered.

"I missed _you_ , Mama," Bella replied with a smile. "But I had so much fun with Kurt and Blaine! Come and see all the stuff they got me!"

Santana rolled her eyes at Brittany, who smiled. It hurt a little that Bella hadn't even noticed her sitting there. She tried not to overthink it. Blaine walked into the kitchen and leaned against the island that Brittany was still perched on.

"Did you guys have a good time last night?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah," Brittany said with a blush. "It was great, thanks."

Blaine smiled. "I'm really glad you guys decided to give it another shot," he said in a low voice. "No matter what Kurt thinks, I think you two belong together."

"Thanks, Blaine," Brittany said, smiling warmly. She thought it was strange that she wasn't mad that Kurt had told Blaine. "And for the record, I think we belong together too."

"Britt!" Bella exclaimed.

Brittany turned around and saw Santana's daughter waving her over enthusiastically. She jumped off the island and went to stand behind the couch.

"What's up, Little B?"

Bella reached back grabbed her hand. "Come sit here. I wanna show you what I got."

Brittany walked around the couch and let herself be pulled forcefully down onto the couch. Bella pulled an entire wardrobe's worth of clothes out of the bags at her feet. Tops, dresses, leggings, shoes, jewellery.

"Wow, Kurt, you really have an eye," Brittany complimented, holding up a beautiful red dress. "Little B, you would look super awesome in this."

Bella giggled. "Mommy says that us Latinas have red hot blood, so we wear red to make that hotness come out."

Santana chuckled. "How do you manage to remember these things?"

"I have the memory of an elephant," Bella said seriously, turning to her mother.

Santana looked guilty at having apparently insulted her daughter's intelligence. She winked at her girlfriend when Bella's attention was back on her new gifts.

"Kurt, you spoil her," Santana said, half disapprovingly, but also with a smile on her face.

"Oh, let me," Kurt replied, dismissing it with a wave. "This little girl is going to have her face anywhere and everywhere. She's gotta look good doing it."

"Why's my face going to be everywhere?" Bella asked, turning around.

"Because you're going to be famous!" Kurt declared dramatically.

"But I don't want to be famous," Bella said seriously.

Brittany looked at Santana, who had a look of surprise on her face. "Do you know what you want to be when you grow up, Bella?"

Bella nodded and turned to her mom. "Well, I'm still choosing. But I want to be a doctor, like _Abuelo_ , or a dancer, like Brittany."

Brittany felt her heartstrings constrict. Bella wanted to be like her. Like _her_. Santana's daughter considered her a role model. She caught Santana's loving smile and let a huge one cross her face.

"And I think that's our cue," Kurt said quietly. "Missa Bella, we're going to leave you now."

 _Cute nickname_ , Brittany thought with a smile.

Bella jumped over a surprised Brittany, who caught the little girl instinctively.

"Fare thee well, good sir!" Bella said dramatically, throwing her arm over her eyes.

Brittany giggled.

"You sure you don't want to go into theatre?" Kurt asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nah," Bella said, waving. "Bye, Blaine! Bye, Kurt!"

Brittany held Santana's daughter in her strong arms as she climbed onto Brittany's shoulders.

"Isabella! Brittany is not a playground!" Santana said sharply.

"It's okay," Brittany giggled. "She needs to be agile if she wants to be a dancer."

Bella flopped heavily into Brittany's lap. "What's agile?"

Brittany looked down at Bella, then at Santana helplessly. She knew what the word meant, but she didn't know how to explain it.

Santana smiled. "Baby, you know the rule when you want to know what a word means."

Bella sighed and jumped off Brittany's lap. She ran into her room and came out with a massive dictionary. She held it out for Brittany to take, which she did, and Bella climbed into her lap again. She laid the book on Bella’s lap and they looked for the word 'agile' together. Brittany glanced up at Santana, who was sitting back in the couch, one leg tucked underneath her, just watching them with a smile on her face.

"Is this it?" Bella asked, pointing to a word and looking up at Brittany.

Brittany shook her head. "Close, though. Think about what it sounds like and what letters you'd use."

_Whoa. Where the hell did that little bit of genius come from?_

Brittany looked to Santana, who gave her an impressed look and a wink.

"Agile," Bella muttered. "Is that a j?"

"Remember when I told you that there are some letters that sound like other letters in certain words?" Santana stepped in, getting a relieved look from her girlfriend.

"Oh," Bella said, nodding. "Like c can sound like s?"

"Exactly," Santana said with a smile.

A few minutes later, Bella confidently pointed to the right word and squinted at the definition.

"Mama, I dunno what this word says. It's really long," Bella said with a pout.

Santana scooted over and leaned over Brittany's shoulder. Brittany felt Santana’s fingers trace over the exposed skin on her lower back between her jeans and shirt. She shivered involuntarily at the secret touch.

"That’s co-ordinated," Santana said softly, turning her head towards Brittany's.

Their eyes met and Brittany really, _really_ wanted to lean in and kiss her. She could see on Santana's face that she wanted to as well.

"To be quick and well co-ordinated in move…movement," Bella said slowly.

The little voice broke Brittany and Santana's eye sexing and they looked down.

"Perfect," Santana said proudly.

"You're really clever, Bella," Brittany said with a smile.

"So if I want to dance, I need to be quick and have good co-ordinates?"

"Co-ordination, baby," Santana corrected with a smile. "And you already have those things."

"So I could be a dancer like you?" Bella asked eagerly, looking up at Brittany with Santana's eyes.

"You can be whatever you want to be," Brittany replied. "And if you want to be a dancer, then I'll teach you everything I know."

"Really?"

"Absolutely."

Bella let the dictionary drop to the floor as she jumped up in Brittany's lap and threw her arms around her neck. Brittany hugged her back, hoping that Santana's daughter would still be this receptive when she found out that she and her mom were back together.

" _Mija_ , we'd like to talk to you," Santana said softly, placing a hand on Bella's arm.

Bella pulled away and dropped into Brittany's lap. "Is this what you wanted to tell me last night?"

Santana nodded.

"Are you and Brittany in love again?"

Brittany wasn't sure whose face showed more surprise – hers or Santana's.

"Uh, w-what makes you say that?" Santana asked nervously.

"Well, you guys are always looking at each other and smiling and it's the same when Rachel and Finn do that and Kurt and Blaine and they love each other."

"Oh," Santana said. She looked at Brittany who just raised her eyebrows. She had no clue how to deal with these situations. "Um, Bella, would it be okay if Brittany and I were in love again?"

"Totally," Bella said with a smile. "I like Britt. She's my best friend. And I love you cos you're my mommy."

Brittany smiled and sighed in relief.

"So is Britt gonna move in?"

"Um, why would she do that?" Santana said carefully, glancing at Brittany who just smiled.

"You're in love, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Then she should live with us cos then I get to have two moms," Bella said, looking at her mother with a 'duh' face.

Brittany, of course, agreed with her, but the look on Santana's face said that something else was at play here.

"Bella, we've never spoken about you having two moms," Santana said slowly. "Not that it isn't something that I'm not open to," she added quickly with a big smile at Brittany. "How did you know that having two moms was even an option?"

"Rachel told me about her two gay dads," Bella replied.

"She's dead," Santana said through gritted teeth.

Brittany needed to step in. "Hey," she said softly, taking Santana's hand and linking their fingers. "I don't think that's a priority right now."

Santana immediately relaxed. "Totally," she agreed, squeezing Brittany's hand.

"Big B, wanna have a sleepover?" Bella asked, looking up at the dancer.

"Well, I was hoping you'd let me cos I was thinking we should start on that dancing training," Brittany replied.

"Can we, Mommy?" Bella asked, putting the pout to full effect.

"Well, your grandparents are in town-"

"They are?" Bella asked excitedly.

"We're going for a picnic tomorrow, _mija_ ," Santana said, smiling at her daughter's enthusiasm. "Anyway, as I was saying," she gave her daughter a good-natured glare for interrupting her and Bella hid her face in Brittany's shoulder, "seeing as how we're probably going to be out a lot of the day tomorrow and I actually have a script that I need to get started on, maybe you'd like to go upstairs with Britt to dance? I'm sure she has a lot more space than we do."

Brittany's eyes widened. Santana was letting her have one-on-one time with Bella?

"Just us?" Bella asked.

Santana nodded, raising her eyes to meet her girlfriend's. They sparkled with trust and love and Brittany felt her heart pick up its pace.

"Can we still have a sleepover?"

"If Brittany's okay with a blanket hogger like you sleeping in her bed," Santana teased, poking her daughter in the ribs.

"Her mother won't be joining us?" Brittany asked softly.

"Baby, why don't you pack some things to dance in and your pjs?" Santana suggested to Bella.

Bella excitedly jumped off Brittany's lap and raced into her bedroom, singing loudly. Brittany leaned in immediately to capture Santana's lips in a soft kiss.

"Hmmm," Santana hummed, running her tongue over her lips when they broke apart. "I'm really happy that I get to do that whenever I want."

"Are you sure about this, San?" Brittany asked worriedly. "It's a really big step."

"I know. I want you and Bella to get to know each other without me around to keep unintentional control of what's said. I want you guys to be natural. Besides," she added, scooting closer and kissing Brittany's neck, "I promised you a script."

Brittany giggled at the ticklish sensation of Santana brushing her lips across her pulse point.

"Ew," Bella declared, walking back into the living, armed with a pink backpack.

Santana laughed and pulled back. "Am I not allowed to kiss my girlfriend now?"

"She's my best friend," Bella replied with a glare.

"Um…" Santana looked at Brittany in confusion.

"Best friend status trumps girlfriend status," Brittany whispered in clarification. She smiled. It felt really good that she sometimes knew things that Santana didn't, especially about Bella.

"Ready, Big B," Bella said.

Brittany stood up and took Bella's backpack from her. She looked at her girlfriend.

"You gonna come up later?"

Santana nodded and smiled. "I'll make dinner."

Brittany leaned in for a kiss, but paused and looked down at Bella, who was eyeing them disapprovingly.

"Uh, I'll see you later,' Brittany mumbled, falling victim to the Lopez glare. She quickly pecked Santana's cheek. "Love you."

"Love you, too," Santana replied with a smile. She ruffled her daughter's hair. "Remember, you're Brittany's guest. I know you remember those manners I taught you."

Bella stuck her tongue out cheekily and giggled. Santana scooped her up and peppered kisses all over her face, causing Bella to squeal and try to push her away, laughing.

Brittany didn't think there were any sounds better than Santana or Bella's laughs.

"Mama! You're embarrassing me!"

"Well, that was difficult," Santana teased, pulling away.

She traced her finger across Bella's forehead and kissed it. Bella did the same and Santana put her daughter on the ground again. Brittany waved and blew Santana a kiss as they made their way to the door.

Santana drew a heart around her face and pointed to Brittany, making her smile big. It was one of their old ways to express their love. The last time she'd used it had been at senior prom. She loved that Santana still remembered. Brittany held two fingers to her lips, moved them to her heart and pointed to Santana, who returned the big smile.

"Is that some kind of secret language?" Bella queried, looking between Brittany and her mom.

"Yup," Santana replied, sticking her tongue out. "Deal with it."

Brittany laughed as Bella mirrored her mother's scrunched up nose. Things were going to be okay. She could feel it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come join the Brittana server!! We have fun!! We gush about these amazing cheerleaders all day long!! https://discord.gg/WUpexmr


	28. Chapter 28

Brittany guzzled water and took a few deep breaths. Had she been this energetic as a child? Santana had always told her that she had endless amounts of energy. How the hell had her girlfriend kept up with her? Bella just wanted to go, _all the time_.

"One more time, Britt," Bella pleaded, pouting.

Brittany grinned. She could understand how Santana found that pout irresistible. She dropped her water bottle on the couch and met Bella back in the middle of her spacious living room. Her couch was against one wall and her TV against the other. There was no table or carpet, which gave Brittany and Bella a huge space to move in.

"Let's try and do that double turn on the fifth beat," Brittany suggested.

Bella nodded and Brittany hit play. After running through the entire dance twice, Bella collapsed onto the sofa. Brittany joined her soon after.

"You're really good," Bella breathed heavily.

Brittany grinned. "You, Little B, are gonna be way better than me. You've got a handle on some of the things I only learned when I was in high school."

"Really?"

Brittany looked at Bella, who was looking at her in the greatest awe. She nodded. "Totally. And I love that you wanna be a dancer. When you said that you wanted to be like me, I wanted to cry."

"Why?" Bella asked, furrowing her brow. "Did I make you sad?"

"No, no," Brittany said quickly. "You know that sometimes you can cry if you're too happy?"

Bella nodded.

"Well, you made me so happy when you said that, that I wanted to cry."

Bella sighed and swivelled her body so that her head was resting on Brittany's stomach.

"I'm glad that you and Mommy are together again," Bella said softly. "She was always so sad, but when you started coming to movie night and stuff, she was happy. I like seeing her happy."

Brittany smiled and ran her hand through Bella's hair.

"Mommy does that," Bella said quietly, sounding sleepy.

Brittany pulled her hand back. "Sorry," she apologised.

"No, I like it."

Brittany nervously returned her hand to Bella's head and started running her fingers through her hair again.

"You're not gonna leave, are you?" Bella asked.

Brittany swallowed. "No," she said honestly. "I love your mom and now there's you to love too. I don't want to go anywhere where there's no Santana and no Bella."

"Good, cos I don't want you to go."

Brittany smiled. "Best friends forever."

Bella pushed herself up and crawled into Brittany's lap. Brittany’s arms went protectively around her and Bella leaned her head against Brittany's shoulder.

"Jus' a li'l nap," Bella mumbled.

Brittany couldn't help but smile. Yet another Santana trait that she loved – mumbling incoherently when she was tired.

"We can lay down," Brittany offered quietly.

Bella just snuggled into Brittany further and the blonde couldn't stop the huge grin from spreading across her face. She continued running her fingers through Bella's hair until she was pretty sure that the little girl was asleep. Carefully, Brittany kept her arms as still as possible whilst she manoeuvred her body so that she was laying down on the couch. Feeling suddenly exhausted herself, she gently lay Bella horizontally in front of her as she lay with her back against the cushions. She used her arm as a pillow and curled Santana's sleeping daughter to her.

Santana had trusted her with Bella and she would die before she let anything happen to either of them.

* * *

Santana leaned back on the couch and rubbed her tired eyes. She'd been steadily working for about three hours and already had a very good idea of the direction that the script would take, but she was really missing her girls. She closed her laptop and walked into her bedroom to get a change of clothes and some pjs. She threw them into an overnight bag and picked up her laptop on her way out. She had no energy to cook. She'd just order something in for them all to eat.

She smiled as she took the elevator two floors up. She'd been to Brittany's apartment twice before, both times very briefly. It was very different to her apartment, but very Brittany with lots of open space. She'd always loved space, a place for her to run and dance and jump and spin.

She hesitated at the door. Should she knock? Should she just go in? Had they reached that part of the relationship yet?

Santana knocked softly, but there was no response. She couldn't hear music either, so she turned the handle and found it open. Not ideal when you're living in New York, but Brittany was so trusting like that. She'd have to get her to start locking her door.

Santana stuck her head in the door, but there was no movement. The lights were all on, but no sign of her daughter or her girlfriend. Santana stepped into the apartment fully and closed the door quietly behind her. She turned to the couch and stopped, her heart fluttering at the sight.

Brittany was curled protectively around Bella and both were fast asleep. Santana just stood and stared. When Bella rolled in her sleep as she often did, Brittany's arm automatically braced across her back so that she didn't fall off the couch. Santana took a shaky breath and willed her tears to stay away. Why the hell was she crying? Sure, it was probably the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen, but _crying?_

 _Yeah, real tough girl you are, Lopez_.

Bella had someone else to love her and protect her like Santana did and _that_ was why she wanted to cry. She _finally_ had someone to share Bella with. Of course, she had her friends and they were amazing with Bella but having a partner that loved her and Bella equally made all the difference.

Santana walked into Brittany's bedroom and allowed herself to poke around. There was a large bed in the middle of the room and two chests of drawers on the opposite wall from the door. Behind the door was Brittany's dressing table. It was littered with purses, money and make up. It looked like a replica of her dressing table from Lima when they'd been in high school.

She was so glad that there were so many things about Brittany that hadn't changed. At the same time, she loved discovering all the things that had – they were all new little ways for Santana to love her. She put her overnight back next to the dressing table and took her laptop to the island in the big kitchen. It was much bigger than hers, but the apartment only had one bedroom so the space was there. She booted her laptop up and whilst she waited for it, she went to the couch and knelt in front of the two most important people in her life. She could honestly just watch them forever and never get bored.

She leaned forward and kissed Bella's exposed cheek, repeated the gesture to Brittany, adding a lingering kiss to her forehead. Britt stirred slightly and Santana stepped back. They had probably exhausted themselves and even though it was still early evening, she knew that Bella would probably wake up in about half an hour, ready to go. Brittany would most likely be the same.

Smiling once more at the sleeping girls, Santana walked into the kitchen, grabbed herself a bottle of water and went back to work on the script. About half an hour later, she felt two arms encircle her leg. She looked down in alarm and saw her daughter looking up at her sleepily. She smiled and leaned down, picking Bella up and placing her on her lap.

"You're like a super sneaky ninja," Santana teased quietly, seeing that Brittany was still asleep on the couch. "I didn't even hear you get up."

"Hmmff rddnnrr," Bella mumbled, rubbing her face against Santana’s chest.

"I'm not sure, baby," Santana said, automatically understanding her daughter's sleepy mumble. After all, she was fluent in it too. "I have some water, though? Why don't you go wash your face and I'll see if I can't find something for you to munch on till Britt wakes up?"

"S'ok, I'm up," said a sleepy voice.

Santana looked up and smiled at Brittany walking to the kitchen, rubbing her eye and yawning. She leaned up and ruffled Brittany's bed hair affectionately.

"Didn't take you two long to tire each other out, did it?"

Brittany sat on the stool next to Santana and leaned on her shoulder. Santana grinned widely. _Perfection. Seriously, this is absolute perfection_.

"Bella, why don't you go wash your face to wake up, baby?" Santana asked her in Spanish.

Bella nodded and kissed her mother's cheek before Santana put her on the ground. Brittany’s head stayed on Santana's shoulder. Santana turned and kissed Brittany’s forehead.

"Good evening, sleepyhead," she teased.

Brittany lifted her head and stretched, giving Santana plenty of time to let her eyes roam over her girlfriend's lithe body. Her short shirt crept up, revealing pale toned abs and her back arched, pushing her breasts out. Santana licked her lips which had suddenly gone dry. Her libido now felt like someone (Brittany) had opened Pandora's box and she couldn't get enough. She just wanted her _all the time_.

"You're looking you're about to devour me," Brittany teased, her voice tinged with sleep.

"Among other things," Santana replied with a smirk, meeting teasing blue eyes.

Brittany glanced back towards her bathroom and leaned forward, meeting Santana's waiting lips.

"Hmmm," Santana replied, breaking apart after a few steamy kisses. "Yup, could _definitely_ get used to this."

Brittany grinned and gave her one last kiss before jumping off the stool and opening her fridge, bending over to see what she had. Whether or not she was doing it to torment Santana, her dark eyes zeroed in on Brittany’s perfect ass and she had to resist the urge to walk over and squeeze it.

_Ugh. I just wanna push her up against that fridge and-_

"Mommy, wanna see our dance?" Bella asked, seeming a lot more awake.

Santana swallowed and snapped out of her erotic fantasy, meeting her daughter's smiling face.

"Uh, sure, baby girl. That sounds awesome."

She looked back at Brittany who had closed the fridge without taking anything out and the look she sent Santana told her that she knew _exactly_ what she was doing.

 _She is evil_.

But it was a game they played all too well. They had since high school. Teasing was an integral part of their sexual relationship. It was probably why they couldn't keep their hands off each other. Santana was _very_ glad that the teasing was still alive and kicking. She smirked at her girlfriend and arched an eyebrow, sending her a very clear message.

_Game on._

* * *

Brittany shifted slightly, careful not to wake the two girls lying in front of her. They'd all curled up on her big couch to watch _Shrek_. Brittany had sat in the corner, Santana in front of her, leaning against her chest, and Bella in between Santana's legs.

After performing for Santana, who had given them several standing ovations, they'd all made dinner together, eaten, then settled down to watch the movie. Bella hadn't lasted past the first hour and Santana had followed suit with about half an hour of the movie to go. Presently, her head was resting directly on Brittany's heart, which she thought was kind of poetic. Her breathing was deep and even and Bella was curled up like a mirror image of her mother.

The movie had ended about ten minutes ago, but Brittany was very happy to just turn the volume down and watch Santana and Bella sleep. Her right hand was resting on Santana's stomach, her fingers entwined with hers. She let her left hand trace soft patterns up and down Santana’s limp arm that was resting on Brittany's leg.

They had the picnic with Santana's parents the next day, which Brittany was a little apprehensive about, but Santana had promised her that everything would be fine. Her parents were happy that she was happy and it would just take them a while to get used to Britt being around again.

Well, Brittany planned on being around for a very long time, so they had better get used to her. She glanced at the clock on the sound system and decided that they should all get to bed. She paused as she contemplated just how she was going to get them into the bedroom. She really didn't want to wake them up.

She softly disengaged her hand from Santana's, who sleepily tightened her grip when she felt Brittany's fingers slipping away.

"It's ok, baby," Brittany whispered, kissing her hair. "I'm not going anywhere."

Santana seemed to relax again at that and Brittany used her strong arms to hold her girlfriend up as she gracefully slipped out from behind her. She gently laid her down and smiled at Santana's beautiful sleeping face. Well, she was always beautiful, whether she was awake or sleeping.

Brittany kissed Santana's left hand and placed it over her stomach, just above where Bella's head was resting. Brittany bit her lip. She quickly padded into her bedroom and switched on the light, rearranging her numerous pillows and pulling back the covers. She found both Santana's and Bella's bags and pulled out their pyjamas, laying them on the bed.

She went back into the living room and scooped Bella up gently, making sure not to wake Santana. She gave herself a little self-five as Santana continued her peaceful slumber. She carried mini-Santana into her bedroom and lay her down on the bed. She quickly stripped the little girl, hoping to God she was doing it right.

After a lot of contemplating and manoeuvring, Brittany finally had Bella in her pjs and tucked her in on the right side of her bed, surrounding her with pillows. She undressed and put her own pyjamas on before going back out into the living room. She slipped one arm underneath Santana's back and hooked her other underneath her legs, picking her up bridal style and carrying her to the bedroom.

"Grrmmmttss," Santana mumbled, throwing one arm around Brittany's neck, almost smacking her in the face.

"It's okay, San," Brittany whispered, seating her on the bed, keeping her sitting up with one hand. "It's all taken care of."

"Lmmfffrryy."

Brittany smiled. "I love you, too, babe."

She kissed Santana's cheek and undressed her. Undressing and redressing an unconscious Santana was second nature to Brittany after the number of times she'd done it in high school. Granted, the actual redressing part had generally been interrupted and reversed, but there was no way that was happening tonight – not with Bella inches away.

Once Santana was in her pjs, as skimpy as they were, Brittany picked her up again and moved her to the middle of the bed, next to Bella. She took Santana's hand and put it on Bella's back. Santana automatically moulded her body around her daughter's and Brittany smiled. She went through her apartment, turning off lights and the TV, before snapping the bedroom light off and climbing into bed behind her girlfriend and spooning her.

Santana backed into Brittany's embrace and the blonde kissed her girlfriend's neck.

_Yeah, she could definitely get used to this._

"Hmmrrrmmiyyin."

Brittany's head shot up off the pillow in surprise. She couldn't have heard right, surely? Maybe she was losing her touch. Or maybe, just maybe, she had understood perfectly.

Brittany grinned wildly and put her head back down, burying her face in the back of Santana's neck, breathing in her scent. Santana's mumbling played over in her head and she smiled again, closing her eyes and allowing sleep to take her over.

Santana would never remember, but she'd told Brittany that she was going to marry her.

* * *

Santana was so warm when she woke up that she didn't open her eyes, instead she snuggled back into her girlfriend who was holding her tightly.

She could feel Brittany's slow, even breathing on the back of her neck and her right hand was rising slightly as it rested on her daughter's back. She smiled. Brittany amazed her more and more every day. She didn't even remember being put to bed, but she loved that Brittany had done it without question.

She realised more with everything that Brittany did that she had absolutely made the right choice in trusting her again. It hadn't even been two days yet but being with Brittany made everything fall into place. Sometimes, it was like they'd never been apart, but there were other times when she remembered they still had so much to learn about each other and she cherished the journey.

Brittany started stirring behind her, her hand running across Santana's stomach, slipping underneath the short tank top. Santana opened her eyes, blinking a few times and saw her daughter still deeply sleeping. She carefully removed her hand from her back and carefully turned around so that she was facing the love of her life. Their legs immediately entwined and Brittany's hand was still underneath Santana's shirt, now running across her back softly.

Santana let her left hand run across Brittany's forehead, smiling when her girlfriend's lips turned up and she pulled her closer.

"Morning," Brittany mumbled into Santana's neck.

"Hey," Santana replied, slowly pushing Brittany onto her back. She glanced to her right, but Bella was still out like a light.

She leaned down for a soft kiss, and both Brittany's hands found their way underneath her top. Santana pulled away slightly, but Brittany followed her and captured her bottom lip in between her teeth, pulling Santana back down to give her a steamy good morning kiss.

This time, Brittany broke away and gave her girlfriend a grin.

" _Definitely_ could get used to waking up like that," Brittany said softly, nuzzling the crook of Santana's neck.

"So why don't you?" Santana asked suddenly, surprising herself with the question.

Brittany pulled back and blinked. "Um, are you asking me…?"

"Yeah," Santana breathed, nodding slightly. "B, this is right. I know we _just_ got back together and everyone will have a shit fit," she glanced at Bella, but she hadn't moved, "but I love you. I love you more now than I did before, and I didn't even think that was possible. I don't want to let you go again. I want to see you all the time. I wanna wake up with you and go to sleep with you and have dinner and breakfast with you and-"

Brittany ended Santana's babbling with a hard, loving kiss. Santana was breathless when she broke away. Brittany brushed her lips against a tan cheek.

"You had me at shit fit."

* * *

"Bella, make sure you have a coat, please!" Santana called as she packed the last of the salad into the picnic basket resting on the kitchen island.

" _Si,_ mama!" her daughter called, making Santana smile.

"Is this okay?" Brittany asked, stepping out of Santana's bedroom with a worried look on her face.

She was wearing a beautiful floral sundress tied around her neck to show off her muscular shoulders and her…oh.

"Uh, babe, firstly, you look absolutely beautiful, but don't you think you'll get a bit cold in that? It's only March." Santana walked up to her girlfriend and kissed her gently. "Besides," she whispered, "you may want to find something that covers those." She brushed her fingers over the dark marks adorning Brittany’s neck and shoulders, now fading slightly, but still very prominent.

"Oh," Brittany said with a deep blush.

Santana grinned back and gave her one more kiss.

"Hey!" Bella interrupted. "Mommy, stop doing that!"

Santana looked up and rolled her eyes. Seriously? Her own daughter was cockblocking her?

"Jeans and a blouse, babe," Santana called to her girlfriend's disappearing back. "And one of my leather jackets."

"K!" came the reply.

"Mommy, you can't kiss Britt like that all the time," Bella scolded her mother.

Santana walked back into the kitchen. " _Mija_ , you do understand that Brittany's my girlfriend and that we do kiss, right?" she said slowly, eyeing her daughter.

"Duh," Bella replied, rolling her eyes. "I'm not stupid. But she's my best friend."

"Yeah, I know. Best friends trump girlfriends."

Bella nodded proudly.

"Well, Brittany and I were best friends _and_ girlfriends in high school, so how does your theory work with that?"

"You kissed your best friend?" Bella asked, wrinkling her nose.

Santana nodded and smiled.

"So does that mean I have to kiss Britt?"

"What?' Santana asked in alarm. "No! Only I get to do that." She frowned. "You don't get to kiss anyone until you're in high school." She took a deep breath. "This theory of yours is very confusing."

"I know. Now I'm confused too."

"So how about we just say that you don't kiss Britt cos you're best friends, but I do because she's my girlfriend?" Santana suggested, hoping that this would be the _one_ time she could catch her daughter out.

Bella eyed her mother carefully. "I'll have to think about it," she said finally.

_Well, that's progress, isn't it?_

"Okay, how about this?" Brittany announced, modelling her new outfit.

"Hot, babe," Santana said, smiling and winking.

"Super pretty," Bella agreed.

"Good," Brittany breathed in relief. "I think half my wardrobe's on your bed, San."

"Well, we've gotta find place for it anyway," Santana said with a happy smile.

"Why?" Bella asked curiously.

Santana met Brittany's eyes. They hadn't actually gotten round to telling her yet because Bella had woken up soon after their conversation, demanding breakfast and breakfast led to another dance session and then they'd realised that they were going to be late meeting Santana's parents at the park.

"Um, Bella, you remember when you asked me if Britt was gonna live with us?"

Bella nodded and smiled. "Cos you love each other."

"That's right," Santana said, meeting her girlfriend's eyes with a loving smile. "Well, we talked about it and we decided that you were right."

"So Britt's gonna live here?" Bella asked excitedly.

"Is that okay?" Brittany asked nervously.

"Yes!" Bella squealed, running to Brittany and hugging her legs tightly. "Now I get to have two moms!"

_Shit. What do I say to that? Obviously, I want Britt to be in Bella's life as more than my partner, but is that what she wants?_

"Little B, we're jumping the gun," Brittany said, eyeing Santana carefully. "How about we take things one step at a time?"

"Okay," Bella said happily.

"Hey."

Santana looked up at Brittany's soft call and saw nothing but love and patience in her eyes. She knew Brittany was telling her that whenever she was ready, she would be too. Santana’s vision blurred as tears crept out, running slowly down her face. Before she knew what was happening, Brittany's arms were around her.

"I love you, San. Don't cry. It's gonna be okay."

"Happy tears, B," Santana sobbed quietly. "I don't deserve you."

"What? Of course you do! Don't say that please? I love you and I want only you and I wanna be with you forever. I…" she faltered, not sure what else to say.

"I know, Britt," Santana replied, wiping her tears away messily. "I love you, too." She held onto Brittany tightly, her next words getting muffled in her girlfriend's shoulder, "and one day we will be a family, I promise you."

Brittany pulled away and pressed her lips to Santana's tears, kissing them away.

"You and me, San," she whispered. "We run the world."

Santana couldn't help the laugh that escaped. Brittany always knew what to say to make her smile.

"Mommy?"

Santana looked down at her daughter's concerned face. She knelt down and smiled.

"I'm letting my emotions run away with me. I'm sorry, baby girl. I'm okay, I promise."

Bella searched her face before deciding that her mom was telling her the truth. She ran her finger over her forehead and Santana smiled, leaning forward and kissing her.

"Okay, let's go! Your grandparents are going to kill me if I deprive them of any Bella time."

Hearing her daughter laugh as Brittany swung her out the door put a big smile on Santana's face that lasted all the way to Central Park.

* * *

It actually turned out to be quite a pleasant day weather-wise as Santana found a spot close to a small pond. Brittany and Bella immediately went to look at all the animals around the pond, leaving Santana to set up the picnic. She didn't mind. She loved that Bella had someone to do all of these little things with. Of course, she had never minded, but Brittany was genuinely as enthusiastic about ducks and butterflies and garden pixies or whatever as Bella was, so why not let them be happy in their own little world?

" _Mija_!"

Santana looked up and saw her parents walking towards her. She stood up and greeted them warmly.

"Where's our granddaughter?" Emilio asked and Santana had to smile at his excitement. She loved how her parents loved her daughter.

"She's down by the pond with Britt."

"Brittany's here?" Maribel asked in surprise, glancing at her husband,

"Yes," Santana said, drawing out the word and narrowing her eyes. "Why wouldn't she be?"

"Oh, no reason," Maribel said brightly.

" _Mami_ , don't start that nonsense with me," Santana snapped in Spanish. "If you two have a problem with her, you tell me right now."

" _Mija_ , it's not that," Emilio said, his calm exterior starting to fade.

Santana held her ground. It wouldn't be the first time that she and her father had a shouting match.

"Then what? She's not good enough? Let me tell you something about that woman. She loves me. She loves Bella. She will do _anything_ for either of us and I…" Santana caught herself. That wasn't something her parents needed to know she'd started thinking about. "She loves us and that should be enough for you. I'm happy. I'm really, really happy."

Maribel and Emilio looked at each other and had the kind of silent conversation that Santana and Brittany had all the time. When they broke their gaze, she looked at them with an expectant eyebrow raised.

" _Mija_ , we just remember how broken you were when she left-"

"God, why does everyone harp on about what happened _eight years ago_?" Santana snapped. "Yes, she left. Yes, it hurt like hell. But I got over it. And I never stopped loving her. I regretted not fighting for her then, and by some miracle we found each other again. I'm _not_ letting her go this time. I think you'll remember what happened the last time you forced me to make a choice."

Emilio eyes darkened. "Santanita, now listen to me," he barked in Spanish. "We have apologised for that more times than I care to count and I think we've made up for it tenfold. Your mother and I love you and we want to make sure that you and Isabella are protected."

"But I _am,_ _Papi_. Don't you see that? She's not going to hurt me again. She knows exactly what I went through without her and I know what she went through without me. Neither of us want that again." Santana paused. Speaking in Spanish always seemed to tire her out, probably because she always spoke with so much passion. "She's my soulmate. I was incomplete without her and now I'm whole again."

Maribel stepped forward and engulfed Santana in a tight embrace. " _Mija_ , I trust you, I do. You've made mistakes in the past and learned from them. If you feel that this is right, then I support you. I only ever wanted to see you happy."

"I am happy, _Mami_ ," Santana said quietly.

Maribel stepped back and gave her husband a look. He and Santana looked at each other without saying anything. Santana's resolve broke first.

"Daddy, I love you," she said in Spanish, throwing her arms around his neck. "Just please be happy for me?"

"I am, Santanita. I am."

"Okay, how about we get this picnic set up? We skipped breakfast for this."

Santana chuckled. "Bella never misses breakfast. It's her favourite meal of the day."

Brittany and Bella came running up to the blanket at that point.

"Mama, the ducks!" Bella squealed excitedly. "They sang to me!"

"Did they now?" Santana asked, smiling.

"They totally did," Brittany said with just as much excitement. "I thought maybe we could use them in the musical but then we'd have to take them away from their home."

"The mommy and daddy ducks would be very sad," Bella agreed, looking forlornly at Brittany.

Santana just smiled at her two girls and saw Maribel with the same smile across her face.

"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Lopez," Brittany said, sitting next to Santana. "Thanks for letting me crash your family picnic."

Santana didn't stop unpacking and subtly took in her parents' reactions.

"Brittany, please, you've always been part of this family," Emilio said with a genuine smile.

"And nothing's changed, young lady. You haven't called us Mr. and Mrs Lopez since Santana brought you home the second week of first grade," Maribel added.

Santana saw Brittany blush and she smiled.

"Thanks, Mari and Lio," she said quietly. "I know things between me and San kind of happened quickly, but I really want you to know that I love her so much and I'm never going to leave her again."

"You can't leave," Bella piped up, holding out her juice box to Brittany, who took it and put the straw in for her. "If you do, I'm gonna have to go all Lima Heights on your ass."

Santana dropped the bottle of water she'd just taken out of the basket, Emilio choked on his breadstick, Maribel's mouth dropped open and Brittany squirted Bella's juice box all over herself in shock.

"Isabella Lopez!" Santana scolded. "Apologise to Brittany right now. You do not use language like that."

"But you-"

"Now." Santana didn't often use her glare on her daughter, so when she did, it got the desired effect and quickly.

"Sorry, Britt," she said quietly, looking down.

"I-It's okay," Brittany stammered, still recovering. She looked down at her now purple blouse. She sighed. "Come here, Little B."

Santana sat back to watch the exchange about to take place. Bella hesitantly took Brittany's hand and sat in her lap.

"I'm gonna make you a promise," Brittany said solemnly, holding out her pinkie to Bella, who wrapped her own small one around it. "If I ever do anything stupid to hurt you or your mom, you my full permission to go all Lima Heights on my ass."

Bella's eyes went wide and Santana moved to step into the conversation.

"And your mom can't tell me off for saying A-S-S because I'm older than her so I'm allowed to," Brittany said, looking at Santana pointedly, causing her already open mouth to close quickly.

"So, do we have a deal?" Brittany asked, turning back to Bella.

Santana's daughter looked at her to check if this was some kind of test or joke, but Santana just smiled encouragingly at her.

"Deal," Bella said with a smile, giving Brittany's pinkie a sharp pull.

Brittany laughed and started tickling Bella, who immediately started giggling.

"We don't have anything to worry about, Lio," Santana heard her mother murmur to her father in Spanish.

" _Si, mi amor_ ," Emilio replied quietly.

Santana grinned widely and caught Brittany's eye, sending her a secret sign. Brittany winked and licked her lips, sending Santana a very sultry look. The grin on Santana’s face faltered as she felt that familiar tug in her gut. God, she loved that woman.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who've read this, y'all know that it's pretty much all NSFW from now lol.  
> Also, I'm sorry it's been so long...

Brittany yawned widely and stretched before turning onto her side and curling back behind Santana and throwing an arm around her, hugging her tightly. Santana responded sleepily, snuggling back. Brittany smiled at the feeling of Santana's naked ass rubbing her core ever so slightly. Normally, Brittany would have her on her back and be between her legs before she'd even woken up properly.

But it was Monday, which meant that their fairy tale weekend had come to an end and it was back to the real world. Even though the pair had made sweet love for hours before falling asleep, Brittany felt wide-awake. She had energy, which normally she'd put to very good use with her tongue, or her fingers…

_Ugh. Now I'm horny._

Brittany buried her face into the back of Santana's neck, but Santana’s intoxicating scent really wasn't helping. Brittany moaned mournfully and rolled onto her back, running a hand through her hair. Santana must've understood her moans because she lifted her arm and grabbed her phone, checking the time. She replaced it and rolled over, landing on top of Brittany.

"We have twenty minutes before the alarm goes off," she mumbled, placing sleepy kisses across Brittany's chest.

"You sure?" Brittany asked.

"Hmmm," Santana replied, meeting her girlfriend's mouth for a kiss.

It was soft and languid and so, so beautiful. They moved together and came together perfectly. Brittany lay on Santana's stomach afterwards and they both breathed a little heavily.

"I love you," Santana said softly, running her hand over Brittany's head.

Brittany smiled into Santana's abs and kissed them softly. "I love you too."

They lay like that, just being with each other until Santana's phone started chiming. Santana moved to turn it off before sitting up, forcing Brittany into her lap. Brittany looked up at her beautiful girlfriend, with her combination of bed and sex hair framing her face as she smiled down.

"You get more beautiful every time I wake up with you," Brittany whispered, resting her hand against Santana's cheek.

Santana leaned into it and kissed Brittany's palm. "We need to get up, babe."

Brittany nodded, but neither looked like they were going to move anytime soon. They just stared into each other's eyes, having a conversation that only they understood.

Santana's back up alarm went off, breaking their gaze. Brittany rose from Santana's lap and stretched again, finding some muscles a little stiff from their morning love tryst. She felt a pair of lips graze across her back and glanced behind her to see Santana on her knees, the covers hanging around her waist.

"I feel like we need a week like spring break in Columbus to catch our bodies up with each other," Brittany said with a smile. "I can't stop wanting you _all_ the damn time."

"Hmmm," Santana hummed in agreement. "Just as well you're moving in."

"Mama?"

Brittany and Santana both whirled around, pulling the covers up over their naked bodies. Bella was standing in the doorway, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, her one hand on the door handle. Brittany glanced at Santana who had the same panicked look on her face that she was sure she did.

"Morning, baby girl. Why don't you go and wash your face and pick out your clothes for the day?" Santana suggested nervously, subtly making sure that she was completely covered.

Bella nodded sleepily and walked towards the bathroom. Santana fell back against the pillows, an arm over her eyes. She was shaking her head slightly.

"She didn't see anything, San," Brittany said soothingly.

" _This_ time," Santana replied with a scowl. "God, we're going to have to be really careful. We can't just have sex whenever and wherever anymore. It's not like before, B. If Bella ever walked in on us, that would scar her for life."

Brittany shrugged to herself. "I think we look hot when we have sex."

"Seriously, B? You're thinking about our sex tape when my daughter almost walked in on us?"

Brittany sighed. "San, we're going to be living together and I _know_ that it's gonna be just as hard for you to keep your hands off me as it is for me to keep my hands off you. With the amount of sex that we're _going_ to be having, your daughter is going to figure out that something is happening. So, we have two options: we can try and play dumb, but I think we both know Bella wouldn't appreciate that. Or we can give her a codeword so that she knows that she can't disturb us during that time."

"A codeword?" Santana repeated. "Like what?"

"I dunno. Something simple and innocent."

Santana grinned. "Like eating guavas?"

"Ew," Brittany said, wrinkling her nose, but sporting a huge grin. She leaned forward and kissed Santana. "I love your dirty mind."

"Hmmm," Santana hummed, licking her lips when Brittany pulled away. "You can use the shower first if you want."

Brittany pushed the covers off and stood up, flexing her arms to get the blood flowing. Santana's eyes were fixed on her chest as her breasts bounced at the action and she bit her lip, rolled her eyes and buried herself in the covers. Brittany chuckled and grabbed Santana's bathrobe from the back of the door, humming as she made her way to the shower.

* * *

"Ready?"

"Ready."

Santana knocked on DC's office door and peeked inside after his call to enter. He smiled at her and stood up.

"Come in, come in!" he said. "I trust you ladies had a good weekend?"

"Uh, yeah, that would definitely be one way to describe it," Santana said, sending Brittany a small grin.

They stood shoulder to shoulder in front of DC's desk. As they'd discussed, Santana took point, having been at the school longer.

"Um, DC, we have something we want to tell you. It's not something we _have_ to tell you, but we'd like you to know because we trust you and we think it's fair."

"Okay," DC said slowly, sitting back down. "I feel like I should be worried."

"Well, no, you don't need to be. I mean, I don't think you need to be. We're professionals," Santana said.

DC gave her an interesting look, and then gave Brittany the same one.

"Are you two together?" he asked, a small smile playing on his lips.

Santana threw up her hands. "Seriously, we obviously _suck_ at looking like we're not together."

Brittany shrugged. "I don't mind that," she said softly.

Santana sent her a small smile that was returned. "Uh, for the record, DC, yes, we are together. And we just wanted to let you know that we will remain absolutely professional while on school grounds and representing the school and all that. We just didn't want you to hear something from someone that could call your judgement into question."

"Oh, pish posh," DC said dismissively. "I'm very happy for the both of you. I must admit, I did have my suspicions. Not many people look at each other the way you two have been looking at each other. Besides that, your sexual orientation or your choice of partner has no bearing on your abilities as teachers at this school. You're still two of my best, most popular teachers and I'd like it to stay that way."

Santana flushed and a quick glance to her left showed her girlfriend with a similar expression.

"Thank you, DC," Santana said sincerely. "I can't tell you how much we appreciate your support on this."

"I somehow don't think it would've mattered," the principal said with a grin.

Santana chuckled. "No, it wouldn't have."

DC laughed lightly and then sat up suddenly. "Oh, Santana, while I have you here, there's something I'd like to tell you."

"Oh?" Santana asked, suddenly a little worried that she may have done something wrong.

"Well, it's more a congratulations, really," DC continued. "As you know, Mr. Fuller is no longer with us and although we've filled his post, his seniority needs to be accounted for."

Santana's heart started thudding. Could this be in connection with the HOD position that she'd heard DC slip up about last week?

"I know you haven't been here all that long, but your track record is immaculate, and your hard work speaks for itself. If you'd agree, I'd like to offer you the Head of Department position in our English department?"

Brittany gripped her hand and squeezed.

"Um, DC, th-that's amazing," Santana stumbled. "I-I don't know what to say."

"Say yes, silly!" Brittany encouraged.

"Oh, yes, yes! I totally accept!"

"Excellent," DC said, standing up and shaking Santana's hand. "There's a little bit of paperwork that we need to go over. When would be good for you to do that?"

"Um, well we finally have a script for the musical," Santana started.

"San wrote it," Brittany said proudly.

"Multi-talented," DC said, impressed.

"Hmmm," Brittany agreed and Santana sent her a warning look after detecting her not so subtle undertone.

Brittany just wrinkled her nose mischievously.

"Anyway, we need to get casting as quickly as possible," Santana continued. "But maybe we could go through it quickly first thing after school? It normally takes the kids about half an hour to get changed and settled before we're ready to start rehearsals anyway. Britt can always get them started."

"Perfect. I'll see you then. And Santana, keep up the good work."

Santana just smiled warmly and turned to leave the office. They were barely out the door before Brittany wrapped her up in a bear hug. Santana did her best to hug her back, but her arms were pinned at her sides.

"San, ohmygod! I'm _so_ proud of you!" she squealed.

"Thanks, B," Santana replied in a soft voice, still letting the news sink in.

"Everything's happening for us," Brittany said, releasing her slightly, looking at her with bright eyes.

Santana smiled widely. "I guess you must be my good luck charm."

Brittany grinned and her eyes went wide as she suddenly got an idea. Santana just looked at her, waiting patiently for Britt to share her thoughts.

"San! I just came up with the perfect codeword!"

"Oh, yeah?"

"Good luck! We can tell Bella that we need some good luck, which means she can't disturb us."

Santana chuckled. It actually was quite perfect.

"You're brilliant, babe."

Brittany grinned and started automatically leaning forward but immediately caught herself. Santana felt her heart melt at the little pout Britt was now sporting.

"Damn, I really wanna kiss you," Brittany mumbled.

Santana glanced at her watch and grabbed Brittany's hand, pulling her quickly to the dance studio. Between that and her classroom, the studio was closer. She opened the studio door, leaving the lights off and pulled Brittany inside, closing the door behind her and locking it.

"I love being sneaky," Brittany giggled, reaching for Santana in the dark room.

Their bodies met and their lips collided. They didn't need to see each other in order in order to perfectly mould their bodies together. Brittany's tongue stroked against Santana's, causing her to moan and push her against the nearest wall. She bit Brittany's lip gently, encouraging her to grind their hips together, and trailed soft kisses down Brittany smooth neck.

"Careful," Brittany breathed. "I've barely managed to cover the ones you've already left there."

Santana grinned wickedly and just ran her tongue from the crook of her neck to her ear, sucking gently on the earlobe. She felt Brittany's legs give a little and just pushed her harder against the wall, slipping a leg between the dancer's thighs.

"God, San, we can't, not here," Brittany moaned, but her hands told Santana a very different story.

"Fuck, I _want_ you," Santana growled, pressing her leg against Brittany's core.

Brittany shuddered in pleasure. "Quickly," she hissed.

Santana didn't need a second invitation. She dove her hand into Brittany's pants and immediately pushed into her with two fingers. Brittany’s hips bucked and she moaned. Santana captured her lips and pumped in and out faster than she ever had before. Sure, she and Brittany had had their fair share of quickies in the bathrooms and locker rooms of McKinley, but that was when they could afford to be late to class. They didn't have that luxury now, but it didn't stop Santana from desperately needing to feel Brittany come around her fingers.

"Fuck!" Brittany squealed, digging her fingers into Santana's shoulder. "Oh, San...keep going."

Santana used her thumb to brush over Brittany's clit a few times, taking her higher and higher until she curled her fingers inside, hitting that special spot inside Brittany and sending her over the edge. She smiled as Britt softly moaned her name.

Brittany collapsed against her and Santana kissed the side of her face as she slowly brought her down.

"Thanks, babe," Santana said with a grin. "I really needed that."

"Hmmm. Your turn at lunch,' Brittany mumbled into Santana's neck.

Santana chuckled. "You think I need some luck, B?"

"I think you need some _fucking_ good luck," Brittany said, lifting her head and crashing her lips to Santana's.

Santana couldn't stop the moan from rising in her throat. It was hard enough keeping her hands to herself around Brittany but knowing that she was probably going to get an amazing orgasm at lunch made the tension almost bearable.

Almost.

* * *

Santana could barely wait for lunch to come around. She'd had pretty much nothing else on her mind since the first bell had forced her and Brittany to come out of their dark hiding place. Brittany had done her best to look presentable and to everyone else she simply looked a little flushed. To Santana, who knew every single square inch of her body, she was still recovering from her orgasm and her skin was slightly clammy.

Her students may have noticed that something was off, but they didn't say anything. Santana berated herself after completely missing a question because a fleeting vision of Brittany backing her up against the wall had taken over her brain.

 _You've_ just _been given a huge promotion and all you can think about is getting off? Priorities, Lopez!_

Santana groaned inwardly at her conscience. Number one on her priority list was getting Brittany's fingers inside her. She was _so_ horny and attempting to distract herself with her job hadn't decreased that need at all.

The lunch bell was due to go any minute and there was a soft knock at Santana's door and she eagerly looked up but frowned when she saw Kate walking in with a pleasant smile on her face.

_At least my classroom's full of kids. She won't try anything stupid here._

"Sorry to disturb," Kate said in a low voice, kneeling next to the desk. She handed Santana what looked like an exam. "I think I may have a cheater."

"What?" Santana asked in alarm. "Are you sure?"

Kate shrugged and gestured to the exam. "Those answers are word for word from my memo. I've had that memo on my computer and it's password protected."

"Hmmm," Santana mused, her eyes skimming the neat writing. "Unfortunately, those computers aren't idiot proof. It doesn't take a lot to get someone's password on this system."

"Looking to pursue a career in hacking, Miss Lopez?" Kate asked in a teasing tone.

Santana frowned disapprovingly at her and went back to the exam. She glanced at the name at the top and sighed. It was a scholarship kid who'd been struggling over the last few weeks. She'd dropped a grade in Santana's class too.

The bell rang and Santana stood up. "Guys, please read up to the end of chapter twenty for tomorrow. Thanks." To Kate, she said, "Leave this with me. I'll talk to the student today and see what's going on."

Kate frowned. "I was planning on giving the exams back after lunch."

"Delay it a day," Santana replied. "Look, with situations like these, we _have_ to be sure that there's not some kind of misunderstanding. I know this girl. She's a hard worker. I'm not of the school of thought that someone is guilty until proven innocent. Everyone deserves a chance to tell their side of the story."

Kate just smiled at Santana and she suddenly felt claustrophobic again.

"We're done here," she said firmly as she saw Kate lean forward slightly.

"Sure about that?"

"I am," said a voice from the doorway.

Santana closed her eyes in relief.

"You know, Kate. Santana and I have been chatting and I think that it would be best if you refrained from making suggestive comments towards my girlfriend," Brittany said, walking into the classroom, her arms folded across her chest. "She doesn't like it, _I_ sure as hell don't like it and you're just making a fool of yourself."

"You seem pretty sure of yourself," Kate remarked, mirroring Brittany's defensive stance.

"Oh, I'm _very_ sure of myself," Brittany replied. "Because you seem to be the only one in this room who's under the delusion that you even stand a chance with Santana."

"Are we still doing the pretend girlfriend thing?" Kate asked, looking between Santana and Brittany in amusement. "It's cute, really, but I'm not stupid."

Santana snorted and Brittany's lips curled into a smile.

"I'll say this one more time, Miss Remington." Brittany walked right up to Kate and looked her in the eye. "Stay. Away. From. Santana."

Santana felt her insides turn to mush. As much as Brittany enjoyed her being controlling, she _loved_ it when Brittany laid such public claim to her. Kate's confidence seemed to falter.

"Now, if you wouldn't mind leaving, Santana needs some good luck," Brittany added, giving her girlfriend a devious look.

Santana had to sit down as her legs started to wobble at the reminder that she was ridiculously turned on.

"What the hell does that even mean?" Kate asked, rolling her eyes.

Brittany got right back in her face and Santana squeezed her legs together.

"It _means_ , new girl, that my girlfriend is horny as hell and I plan to fuck her quite senseless as soon as your psycho ass is out that door."

Santana couldn't help a little whimper that escaped at Brittany's dominance. Kate backed away looked from Brittany to Santana and back. The lovers had locked eyes and the sexual tension between them was becoming quite palpable.

"See, _now_ I believe that you're a couple," Kate remarked, hurrying towards the door after a glare from Brittany.

Brittany gave Santana a heated look before turning around and walking to the door, locking it.

"There's a no locked doors policy here," Santana mumbled, her core starting to ache at Brittany's predatory approach to her.

"So why'd they put locks on the door?" Brittany smirked, stopping at the edge the desk and crooking a finger to Santana, telling her to stand up.

Santana shakily stood, feeling the uncomfortable dampness of her underwear.

"You want me really badly, don't you?" Brittany husked, snaking her arms around Santana's waist.

Santana nodded fervently and leaned up to kiss Brittany, but she pulled away.

"Did I say you could kiss me?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. "I'm in charge here, Miss Lopez. I make the rules."

 _Oh, God_. Santana felt her knees wobble again. Role play sex was the _best_.

"You may want to make space on your desk there, Miss Lopez," Brittany instructed, releasing her hold on her waist. She stood back and watched as Santana quickly cleared the one half of her desk as neatly as she could – Brittany would just make her do it again if she didn't do it to her satisfaction the first time. She'd played this game enough times in high school to have the rules engrained in her memory. And even though eight years had passed, the memories just came flooding back like they'd happened the previous day.

"Are you always so neat and tidy, Miss Lopez?" Brittany asked when Santana was done.

"Yes, Miss Pierce," Santana replied politely.

"Well, I may just have a test for you, then," Brittany replied, stepping close to Santana again and causing her heart to beat faster. "You're gonna sit your sweet little ass on that desk and I'm gonna go down on you."

_Holy Jesus sweet fuck._

"And you're not going to make a sound."

_Shit._

"You think you can keep yourself neat and tidy when my tongue's inside you?"

Santana swallowed the squeak of arousal that desperately wanted to jump out and she squeezed her thighs to try and slow down the throbbing between her legs. She nodded furiously, not trusting her voice.

"Good," Brittany said with a smug smile. "Take your pants off."

Santana had never stripped her slacks off so quickly.

"Sit down."

Santana obeyed, biting her lip at the predatory look in her girlfriend's eyes.

"Remember now, Miss Lopez," Brittany said, kneeling in front of Santana, "neat and tidy."

Santana gripped the edge of the desk hard and took a deep breath. This was going to be worse than childbirth. Brittany leaned in licked up Santana's underwear. It wasn't skin on skin, but she could still feel it and she shivered in pleasure, biting hard on her lip to keep the moan from escaping.

"Impressive, Miss Lopez," Brittany commented slyly. "Your restraint is commendable."

Santana couldn't say anything. She was too terrified that any sound would mean that Brittany would stop, and she needed this release _so badly_. Brittany pulled her underwear down and Santana could feel her breath against her dripping pussy.

 _God, touch me, something,_ anything _, please!_

Brittany seemed to hear Santana's silent plea and flicked her tongue over her clit, causing her to jump suddenly and rattled the desk. Brittany gripped her thighs and held her steady as she repeated the action.

_Jesus, if she does that again, I'm done for._

Santana had been building herself up since that morning for this orgasm. Her body was so receptive and sensitive that it already wasn't going to take much to send her into orgasmic bliss.

Brittany dropped her head slightly and traced around Santana's entrance with the tip of her tongue. Santana had to stop breathing for a few seconds to halt the moans that threatened to tumble out of her mouth. Her chest started heaving in exertion. Brittany noticed and smiled, sticking her tongue inside Santana and rolling it around once. She pulled out and licked her lips, smiling satisfactorily.

"I'm very impressed, Miss Lopez. So very neat and tidy. I'm gonna eat you out now, so make sure to behave yourself."

Santana was almost sure that she was embedding her nails into the desk and Brittany's cavalier dirty talk. It drove her crazy. Brittany disappeared between her legs again and Santana inhaled sharply at the sensation of her being filled with Brittany's amazing tongue. Thereafter, it didn't take very long for Santana to feel that big knot in her stomach tighten to the point of explosion. Brittany always seemed to know when she was close, even though Santana wasn't making any noise, so she withdrew her tongue and flicked her clit, finally giving Santana that release she'd been aching for the whole day.

Santana trembled as aftershocks ran through her body. Brittany brought her down carefully and Santana could feel her tongue softly cleaning her. She loved the attention Britt paid her after going down on her.

Brittany stood up between Santana's legs and kissed her exposed neck, sucking gently on her pulse point – not hard enough to leave a mark, thank goodness.

"Well done, Miss Lopez. Would you like me to do that again?"

Santana nodded with a dreamy smile on her face. Hell yes. Brittany was welcome to do that as many times as she liked.

"But first," Brittany whispered, kissing up onto her face, "go out with me?"

Santana pulled away and looked into Brittany's eyes.

"Are you asking me on a date?" she asked quietly, a small smile crossing her face.

Brittany nodded shyly. Santana gripped the back of her neck and pulled her in for a kiss. Their tongues tangled and Santana's head spun at the taste of herself in Brittany's mouth.

She broke away and rested their foreheads together. "I would love to go on a date with you, Britt."

"Awesome," Brittany replied with a huge grin. She looked down at her hands that were slowly running up and down Santana's naked thighs. "We should probably get your pants back on."

"Hmmm," Santana replied, grinning. She slid off the desk and pulled up her underwear, followed by her pants.

"Oh, baby, you made a little mess," Brittany teased, pointing to where Santana had been sitting on the desk.

"Fuck, you are kidding me."

But she wasn't. Santana went as red as a Latina could go and buried her face in Brittany's back. Brittany chuckled and reached into Santana's bag for a tissue to clean off the small trail of juices left behind.

"Baby, don't be embarrassed," Brittany cooed, tossing the offending tissue into the bin next to Santana's desk and turning Santana around in her arms so that they were facing each other. "You know I love it when you get so wet for me."

"You have no idea," Santana mumbled into Brittany's chest.

Brittany tipped her chin up and kissed her softly. "I love you. And if this is going to become a daily occurrence then I'm super amped."

Santana let out a reluctant laugh. "As _incredibly_ tempting as that sounds, with our luck, we'd be caught very soon."

"True," Brittany conceded. "I think that I'm gonna have to actually start making use of my office in the studio."

"You have an office?" Santana asked in surprise.

Brittany grinned. "I've hardly been in it. But I'm guessing now we have a reason to be there, oh, say, every day at lunch?"

Santana bit her lip and met her girlfriend's gaze. She stood on her tiptoes so that her mouth was right next to Brittany's ear and whispered huskily, "Is it soundproof?"

* * *

Brittany's advanced class finished the last movement of their routine as the final bell rang and she clapped.

"Couldn't have timed it better myself, guys. Great job."

She knew Santana had that meeting with DC now before she met them in the auditorium for the first auditions. The news that they finally had a script had flown around the school and the sign-up sheet had exploded with names. Of course, that only made Brittany more excited about the whole musical. It was exactly the kind of response she'd been hoping for. She was confident that they were going to find a hidden gem amongst the student body that would absolutely shine in the musical.

Brittany's mind suddenly went to her date with Santana and she allowed a goofy smile to cross her face as she picked up her phone and found Rachel's number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Rachel!"

"Who is this?" Rachel asked suspiciously.

Brittany frowned. "It's Brittany…bitch."

She smiled at the chuckle on the other end. "Apologies, Brittany. I don't have your number on my phone."

"Oh, I got all your numbers from Santana's phone last night," Brittany said.

"You and Santana spending a lot of time together then?" Rachel asked, trying to sound casual.

"Uh, yeah," Brittany said with a smile. "Duh."

"Well, I'm glad you two are friends again. Life definitely was more dull without our blonde ray of sunshine around."

"The sun's blonde?" Brittany asked in confusion. "How do you know that?"

Suddenly, what Rachel had said sunk in and Brittany pulled a face. She'd totally forgotten that no one but Kurt, Blaine and Santana's parents, and of course Bella, knew about their relationship. That complicated things. Brittany bit her lip. Would Santana hate her? She'd been pretty mad that one time she'd let slip in high school about them sleeping together.

"Uh, sorry?" Brittany asked, realising that Rachel was saying something.

"I asked if you were calling about the musical. You know, Santana should really consider my expertise in these-"

"No, I didn't," Brittany cut her off, not in the mood for a Berry-logue. "Well, sort of. I was wondering if you might be able to watch Bella tonight? Uh, Santana and I have our first day of auditions today so we're probably going to be at school pretty late. But we'll come by and fetch her after we're done?"

Brittany held her breath, hoping Rachel wouldn't hear her terrible lie. She hated lying, she really did. But it was for Santana and she always did what she could to please Santana. A smirk crossed her face as she remembered their delicious lunchtime quickie. Santana had been putty in her hands, or rather, on her tongue.

"I'm sure that won't be a problem," Rachel replied. "I'm surprised that Santana is calling me herself though. Especially after what happened last time."

"Yeah, I know. She asked me to call because she's had class all day and she's now got a super important meeting with the principal and then we're going straight into auditions. I had a bit of free time now."

"All right," Rachel agreed, seeming satisfied with Brittany's reasons. "Will you let us know when you're leaving the school?"

"Definitely," Brittany promised. "Have a good night, Rachel!"

"You too, Britt."

_Phase one complete._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DO NOT HAVE SEX AT SCHOOL. BAD BRITTANA.


	30. Chapter 30

Brittany held two pages of sign-up sheets in her hand. She was a little shocked. She knew that people were excited about the prospect of a musical, but she had never expected it to be _this_ popular. Over thirty people wanted to audition for parts. Brittany knew that not all of the students auditioning may actually be _able_ to sing, but they had twenty-one roles to fill and not much time to do it in.

"Hey," a familiar voice breathed, slipping into the chair next to her.

Brittany turned and smiled widely at Santana. She looked a little rushed and out of breath, but it was one of Brittany's favourite looks on her.

"Hey, baby," she replied, dropping one hand onto Santana's thigh and squeezing gently.

Santana smiled and put her own hand over Brittany's, entwining their fingers. She broke their loving gaze and looked down at the sign-up sheet.

"Wow. Is this everyone who wants to audition?"

Brittany nodded. "Well, we do have a lot of roles to cast and the script isn't even finalised."

Santana ran her free hand through her loose hair and sighed. "Yeah. Guess it's gonna be a late night tonight."

"You have something in mind?" Brittany asked, grinning wickedly. She wiggled her eyebrows and Santana giggled.

"Not what I meant, Miss Sex-on-the-brain. I meant I was going to try and finish the script tonight."

"Oh," Brittany said in disappointment, trying not to stick out her bottom lip in a pout. She knew that it was Santana's biggest weakness, and she didn't want to make her feel guilty about anything.

"B, what is it?" Santana asked softly, her brow furrowing in concern. She shifted a little closer, keeping their fingers entwined.

"No, it's nothing," Brittany said dismissively.

"Brittany."

She sighed. Sometimes it really sucked that Santana knew her as well as she did. It meant that she could never keep anything from her. Which, considering they were in a relationship, probably wasn't such a bad thing.

"Well," Brittany began, "I was kinda hoping I could take you out tonight."

Santana smiled. "On our date?"

Brittany flushed a little and looked down. It was ridiculous that she was nervous about taking her girlfriend out on a date when they'd already done pretty much everything else that a couple did. They'd had the amazing sex, done the I love you's, met the parents (well, Santana's), and gained the approval of the friends. Well, some of the friends.

Typical Brittany and Santana though – they never did anything according to the norm.

"I'd love that, babe," Santana said softly, her voice making Brittany look up again.

"Really?" She smiled hopefully.

"Totally," Santana replied, her eyes sparkling.

"Okay, that's really good cos I already asked Rachel to look after Bella."

 _Uh oh_.

Santana's smile had faltered a little.

 _Shit_.

"I did something bad, didn't I?" Brittany whispered.

Santana slowly took her hand back and moved away. Brittany felt her heart hurt at the gesture. Why, why, _why_ had she done that?

"I'm sorry," she whispered and gripped the sign-up sheet with both hands.

She flicked the mic on and called the first person onto the stage.

* * *

An hour later, they'd gone through the first page of students and all but one had been pretty good. Brittany had been right – there was a wealth of talent at Griffin Hill and they just hadn't had the means to express themselves.

Santana sighed inaudibly and glanced sideways at Britt. She was busy writing a list of people they'd definitely decided on, with another column for the maybes.

To say that the last hour had been awkward would be an understatement. Their discussions had been short and brief, and they hadn't even really looked at each other since Santana had pulled away from Brittany.

Well, she felt that she had a valid reason, although now that she'd had a chance to think about it, she may have overreacted. Brittany was just trying to surprise her. At least she'd made sure that Bella wouldn't be forgotten _again_. That was sweet, right?

But Santana was her _mother_. That was the stuff that she should be doing. Yes, she loved Brittany and _one day_ she'd want her to make those decisions on her own without a problem. But they had only been back together for three days and it wasn't okay that she'd just assumed she could make a decision concerning Bella without talking to her first.

Having had the last hour of uncomfortable silence to think things over, Santana had begun to wonder why she was mad at Brittany for doing something so simple, something that she probably would've had to do anyway considering that they still had so many auditions to get through. Was it about control? Brittany wasn't shy about pointing out one of Santana's major flaws. She trusted her, right? She'd told her that much. And now was she going back on her word?

Santana frowned and stared at a small patch of woodwork on the table in front of her – something that she'd found right around the second student audition.

"Ben Radcliff?" Brittany said into the mic and Santana winced at the monotone. It was so unlike Brittany and she knew that it was because of her.

Ben walked onto the stage and Santana immediately thought of Boo Radley from _To Kill A Mockingbird._ Not in looks or anything, though. A small smile crossed her face. She knew Ben. He was in her class and he was actually really bright, but quite quiet.

"Hi, Ben," Brittany said brightly into the mic. Santana knew it was fake. "What are you gonna sing for us today?"

"Uh, I don't really know a lot about musicals, but I like to sing so I thought I'd give it a go?" He said the last part as though he was asking a question.

Santana leaned to the mic and tried to ignore the pang of pain in her chest at Brittany moving further away, maintaining the distance between them.

"Ben, don't worry about the music or about the show. Right now, we just want to know if you can sing. So what song have you got for us?"

"Well, I only really listen to rock, so I picked _Seize the Day_ -"

"Avenged Sevenfold," Santana said with a smile. "Great song."

Ben grinned and nodded to the pianist, who pushed play on an iHome that had been set up. Ben shuffled his feet and pushed his hands deep into the pockets of his school chinos. Santana recognised nerves when she saw them, but when Ben opened his mouth and started to sing, she wondered what on earth he needed to be nervous about.

“ _Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost. It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over. I see my vision burn; I feel my memories fade with time. But I'm too young to worry. These streets we travelled on will undergo our same lost past._ ”

Santana swallowed. The song choice was excellent. The singer was amazing. The lyrics, however, were getting to her.

“ _I found you here, now please just stay for a while. I can move on with you around. I hand you my mortal life, but will it be forever? I'll do anything for a smile, holding you 'til our time is done. We both know the day will come, but I don't want to leave you. I see my vision burn; I feel my memories fade with time. But I'm too young to worry. Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost. It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over._ ”

Santana turned and saw Brittany's jaw was clenched, a sure fire sign that she was trying desperately not to do something that she really wanted to. Santana had a suspicion and slowly slipped her hand under the table and reached into Brittany’s lap for her hand. As expected, they were clasped tightly together, the fingers running over each knuckle.

They stilled the moment Santana's fingers brushed against the back of Brittany's hand. Santana used her deft fingers to pry open Brittany’s iron tight handclasp. It didn't take very long for Brittany to relax her hands and let Santana entwine their fingers again.

Brittany's eyes met hers with uncertainty, but Santana gave her a small smile and leaned into the mic, focusing on the nervous boy on the stage, but squeezing Brittany's hand.

"Ben, that was awesome. I know _exactly_ who I want you to be in the show."

"Uh, so I got a part?" Ben asked in confusion.

Santana smiled. "You nailed it. Best audition I've heard today."

Even from way up in the seats, Santana could see the faint blush that crossed Ben’s neck. He rubbed it subconsciously.

"Who knew that you had such an awesome voice hiding away all this time? Keep your eyes on the notice board, okay?"

Ben nodded and jogged off the stage. Santana clicked off the mic and turned to Brittany, just holding her gaze.

"I'm sorry," Brittany murmured eventually.

Santana nodded. "It's okay, B. I know that you were only trying to help. I'm sorry I got mad. Next time, maybe just talk to me about it first, okay? We don't wanna mess this up by assuming things too quickly."

Brittany fervently and squeezed Santana's hand.

"I promise I won't do that again," she swore. "I love you, San. Thank you for not being mad at me."

"When have I ever been able to stay mad at you?" Santana teased.

"When we broke up," Brittany said, before her filter could kick in.

Santana swallowed again.

_Yeaaaah…_

Brittany did have a point though.

"Sorry," Brittany mumbled. "I'm sorry."

She tried to pull her hand away from Santana's, but Santana held her fast.

"Hey, listen to me. This isn't eight years ago. I'm not running away just because you said something without thinking or you hurt my feelings. I'm a big girl now, B. It's gonna take a lot more than some words to get rid of me."

"B-b-but words are what hurt us last time," Brittany whispered, her beautiful blue eyes suddenly filling with tears.

_Oh, crap. Now I'm done for. A crying Brittany is too much for me._

Santana moved quickly. She pulled her chair flush next to Brittany's and put her free arm around her girlfriend, gently stroking her neck. Brittany rested her head on Santana's shoulder, taking deep breaths and sniffing quietly every now and then.

"You okay, baby?" Santana whispered.

She felt Brittany nod into her neck.

Santana pulled Brittany up gently and found her eyes again. Any trace of the tears was gone, but there was definitely an uncertainty.

"I love you," Santana said. "We're gonna talk more about this tonight, okay? When it's just us. But I think we really need to get back to these auditions otherwise I'm never gonna get us out of here in time for our date."

Brittany's face brightened and she smiled, the atmosphere in the entire auditorium changing. Santana smiled back, the small, secret smile that she reserved only for Brittany.

* * *

She was nervous. Again. It seemed that any excursion with Santana brought about these feelings of panic within Brittany that convinced her that she was going to do or say the wrong thing to make her girlfriend vanish from her life once more. There was no way that Brittany would survive without Santana and Bella around. She'd fallen so completely in love with both of them (Santana, simply more so) that she didn't know what she'd do without them in her life.

Brittany shook her head and rummaged around in her closet for her dark skinny jeans. She wasn't going all out fancy because they'd done that on Friday. She was planning to take her somewhere secluded and romantic, with a little bit of dancing and a little bit of spice.

Brittany finally found her elusive pants and pulled them on, while at the same time searching her closet for the perfect complementary top. She smiled at a little silver number from back in Lima. Santana had loved this top on her because it was "shimmery and made her boobs pop". Granted, Santana had been in a drunken haze when she'd whispered those words to her after they were entangled on Brittany's bed after a big party. That was back in the days when sex wasn't dating.

Brittany glanced at her phone and saw that she was actually running a little late. Although, considering she'd showered, shaved and washed her hair in ten minutes, she wasn't doing too badly. She couldn't wait to start moving all her stuff into Santana's apartment – no, into _their_ apartment.

She blamed Santana for her rushed preparation, and it wasn't even because they'd been too wrapped up in each other to remember the time – Brittany wished. Their two incredibly hot sessions that day at school hadn't sated her appetite for Santana by a long shot.

Anyway, she blamed Santana. They'd spent half an hour arguing about casting Grace or Hilary in the role of Julie, the scripted glee club's star. Eventually, they'd decided that a call back for the two of them would be best. Both could sing and act, but Santana thought Grace had more of the superstar quality that she envisioned Julie to have.

Brittany rolled her eyes. She knew that Santana would get her way because she'd written the script _and_ was director. But Brittany loved seeing that passionate fire dancing in Santana’s eyes. It made her so happy to be a part of something that Santana really enjoyed and felt strongly about.

Humming to a song playing around in her head, Brittany quickly did her make up, keeping it simple and more natural, the way Santana liked her. Brittany smiled at the thought of taking her _girlfriend_ out on a _date_. A month ago, she would never in a million years have dreamed that she, Brittany S, Pierce, would be taking Santana Lopez, the love of her life, her _soulmate_ , out on an actual date.

Brittany giggled to herself and grabbed her jacket, purse and house keys before pulling her apartment door closed behind her. When the elevator opened on Santana's floor, she took a deep breath before knocking on the door. She knew what she was about to do was totally cheesy, but she also knew that Santana _loved_ cheesy.

The door opened and Santana stood there with a smile, her bare feet poking out from underneath her skinny jeans. Brittany smiled at the black nail polish Santana still loved. She was wearing a t-shirt, but Brittany knew that she probably was still busy getting ready. Her hair was piled onto her head and Brittany thought she still looked like the most beautiful girl on the planet. And on all the other planets too. If they had girls, that is.

"Good evening, Miss Lopez," Brittany said formally. "I'm here to pick you up for our date."

Santana grinned widely. "I'll be right with you, B. Just gotta find some shoes to put on and change my shirt."

Brittany nodded and stepped inside, uber polite the whole time. Santana loved to be wooed and courted and all that other stuff. Sure, she didn't mind going to fancy places, but Brittany knew that Santana was going to love the date she had planned.

Santana had disappeared into her bedroom and Brittany stood next to the door, waiting patiently. After about five minutes, Santana stepped out and Brittany's eyes widened.

 _Gulp_.

Yes, she did just do the cartoony gulp in her head. _That_ was how beautiful Santana looked. She wasn't glamoured up or anything and Brittany loved it. She had her skinny jeans on, complete with some sexy black heels and a low cut black top. She had her black leather jacket over her arm and her hair was lying around her shoulders in soft ways.

"Santana, you look absolutely breathtaking," Brittany said softly, her eyes finally meeting her girlfriend's dark ones after a luxurious tour of her body.

"As do you, B," Santana replied with a wink.

Brittany proffered her arm. "Shall we?"

Santana smiled that special Brittany smile and hooked her arm into Brittany’s. They walked out and Santana pulled the door closed behind them, locking it.

* * *

Santana was itching to know what Brittany had planned for their date, but she was being all cute and chivalrous and Santana loved it. She loved being treated like a lady. And she loved that Brittany loved treating her like a lady.

"I've never been to this part of New York before," Santana commented, looking out of the cab window.

"I used to come here all the time when I was back home for a break between tours," Brittany replied, her thumb brushing over the back of Santana's as their interlocked hands rested on the seat between them. "I found this awesome place hidden away."

"Is that where we're going?" Santana asked, not even trying to keep the excitement out of voice.

Brittany smiled and nodded.

 _Score_.

Brittany's surprises were the _best_. Ever since they'd been kids, she’d had managed to show Santana how much she meant to her in the smallest of gestures at the most random of times. When they were eight, Brittany had waited outside Santana's house on the first day of school with a handpicked daisy and handed it to her, saying that it reminded her of Santana's smile.

On her eleventh birthday, Brittany had managed to convince everyone at Santana’s pool party that the birthday elves had taken her for a special trip to the forest to get her present because only the most beautiful and kind birthday girls get to become princesses. Everyone had assumed that Brittany was on some kind of hallucinogenic trip and left without complaint. In fact, Santana had just started her first period and was petrified of going out to face everyone. For the rest of her birthday, she and Brittany had curled up on Santana's bed and watched movies. Brittany had jumped at Santana's every need and Santana was pretty sure she'd fallen in love with Brittany that day.

"Hey."

Santana snapped out of her daydream and turned to smile at Brittany.

"What are you thinking so deeply about?"

"The day I fell in love with you," Santana smiled, snuggling into her, laying her head on her shoulder.

"When was that?" Brittany asked curiously.

Santana relayed the story that had played in her head a few moments before and smiled when Brittany chuckled.

"I almost forgot about that. I'm surprised you remember."

"Why?" Santana asked in surprise.

"You just never seemed like the type to remember those little things. I mean, I know how you were with me, but you were always so cold and short with everyone else, jumping from guy to guy. I didn't think that sentimentality meant a lot to you."

"You mean a lot to me," Santana said quietly. She wasn't offended by what Brittany had said – it was a conversation they'd had many times over the years. "I remember everything with you because it was with you."

Brittany pressed a kiss to Santana's head and Santana could feel her smiling.

"What's the first thing you remember about me?"

Santana smiled. That was an easy one. "It was the third day of first grade. You'd started a little late because your family had only just moved to Lima and the teacher paired you with Suzy Pepper because your names were next to each other on the class roster. I remember looking up and seeing the most amazing blue eyes and that gorgeous smile and I remember thinking that you were the prettiest girl I'd ever seen and that I would make sure you were my friend cos I wanted you all to myself."

Brittany chuckled. "That's so you. Sweet and protective. You were always like that with me, even though you didn't need to be."

"I know," Santana said, toying with the bottom of Brittany's top. "I wanted to. I wanted you to be as happy and carefree as you wanted to be because that's the Brittany I fell in love with. But society and reality don't always let us be what we want to, so I did what I had to so that you could stay that amazing, beautiful, kind person."

Brittany was quiet and Santana was afraid that she'd said the wrong thing. When she lifted her head, though, she saw tears tracking down Brittany’s cheeks.

_Shit! Twice in one day, Lopez. Gold fucking medal._

"No, no, no, Britt, I didn't mean to make you cry," Santana said quickly, using her thumb to brush the salty drops away.

"Good tears, San," Brittany whispered. "I never think that I could love you more than I already do, but every day you do something to prove to me that there's always space for me to love you more."

Santana blushed at Brittany's passionate words. Her eyes were shining as she said them, and Santana believed her without a moment's thought. Brittany never lied, _especially_ about her feelings.

The cabbie cleared his throat and Santana sat up, holding Brittany's hand tightly.

"Uh, we have arrived, ladies," he said nervously.

"Thanks," Brittany said brightly, hurriedly wiping her face and handing the cabbie some money. She opened her door and ran around the other side, causing a big grin to break out on Santana's face.

Brittany opened the door and held out a hand. Santana accepted it readily and allowed Brittany to pull her out of the car.

"Have a nice evening!" Brittany called to the cabbie before he drove off.

Santana took in the view. It was a cute little Mexican place and reminded Santana of Sundays at her _Abuela's_ house. She could hear music from inside and she smiled even wider. Brittany loved everything about her heritage and had been only too happy to accompany Santana to a cousin's wedding or niece's birthday. And naturally, she'd been an absolute hit with everyone.

"I know that this could be hard," Brittany said softly, squeezing her hand. "But I wanted you to know that I love every part of you. And that we should celebrate the next step in your career by celebrating who are."

"You are amazing," Santana said simply, turning to Brittany and pulling her in for a kiss.

It was soft and loving. Brittany smiled and slipped an arm around Santana's waist.

"Shall we go in, my love?" she asked.

Santana just smiled and let Brittany escort her to the door.

" _Buenos noches, senoritas_ ," a young woman greeted. "Do you have a reservation?"

"Brittany Pierce."

"Ah, yes, table for two," the hostess said with a smile. She grabbed two menus. "Follow me, _por favor_."

Brittany held Santana's hand as she followed the hostess. Santana just took in everything around her. She could hear Spanish milling around her and it made her grin. There was definitely something intoxicating about it. It made her just want to randomly break out into a Spanish poem or something.

 _You don't know any Spanish poems, moron_.

She didn't care. She'd frigging come up with one on the spot.

"Baby?"

Santana's attention snapped to Brittany, who was standing next to a table set for two, against the wall and in the far corner.

"Secluded enough for you, _senorita_?" the hostess asked.

"It's perfect," Brittany replied. "Thank you so much."

" _Gracias_ ," Santana added.

" _Maldita sea, esa chica está muy bien. Aferrarse a ella_ ," the hostess whispered to her as she walked past.

Santana chuckled, but Brittany looked confused.

"What did she say?"

"I'll tell you once you let me sit down," Santana replied with a coy smile.

Brittany was catapulted into action and quickly pulled out Santana's chair gracefully, letting her slide into it. She immediately moved the chair opposite Santana next to her. Santana smiled and intertwined their fingers. After a few minutes of just looking at each other, Brittany reminded her that she needed to translate what the hostess had said.

"She said that you were fine and that I should hold onto you," Santana explained, bringing their joined hands up and brushing her lips across Brittany's knuckles. "Just as well I plan on doing just that."

Brittany blushed. "I have a favour to ask you," she said quietly.

Santana leaned in, partly because she'd almost missed what Brittany had said with the noise, but also because she loved being so close to the love of her life.

"Anything," she replied. "You've already made this the best date ever."

"Would you order for us? In Spanish?"

Santana chuckled. She knew Brittany loved it when she spoke Spanish, _especially_ when their bodies were pressed against each other and they'd just made love.

" _Sin duda, mi amor_ ," Santana replied. "Certainly, my love," she added, seeing Brittany's brow furrow slightly.

"I remember the _mi amor_ part," Brittany said proudly. "You used to call me that all that time."

"Do you want me to call you that again?" Santana asked, steering the conversation back to the one she'd interrupted during the auditions. They needed to talk about whatever was going on. She wouldn't have any secrets between them.

"San, I don't care what you call me, as long as you call me yours."

Santana's breath caught in her throat. It was so simple, so beautiful, _so_ meaningful and so, so Brittany.

"God, I love you so much," she choked out, her emotions getting the better of her.

"I know," Brittany replied warmly.

Santana gave her a quick kiss, pulling away when a movement next to them caught her eye. She sat back and greeted their waiter. As per Brittany's instructions, she ordered their drinks and food in Spanish, enjoying Brittany’s eyes grow steadily darker as the words rolled off her tongue effortlessly.

"That was so hot," Brittany said breathlessly.

Santana grinned and pried Brittany's hand from its grip on the edge of the table. She entwined their fingers and sat forward again so that their faces were mere inches away from each other.

"B, we should talk about what happened earlier," Santana ventured and she hated seeing that uncertainty creep back into Brittany's gaze, but she nodded. Santana took a deep breath. "You know that I love you. And I know that you love me and Bella. I know that you would never do anything to put us in harm's way. I _do_ trust you with her, I do. I just…" she trailed off, wanting to find the right words.

"I understand," Brittany said quietly. "I don't think I can put it into words, but I understand why you were upset."

"You do?"

Brittany nodded slowly. "I know our history together is…colourful and our breakup wasn't exactly amicable, so it's only normal that you're apprehensive with me. You already took such a huge leap trusting me with your heart again and then trusting me with Bella. And if I haven't said thank you for both, then you need to know that they are the two greatest gifts that you have ever given me. Two gifts that I will guard with my life and take with me to the grave."

Santana swallowed the lump in her throat.

"You make everything sound so simple," she replied with a wry smile. "It kinda makes me feel like an idiot for not giving into you sooner."

Brittany frowned. "Is that what you think, San? That you gave into me? That this was something I contrived to get you back?"

Santana thought for a moment. "Did I give into you? Yes, but I also gave into me. I knew how I felt about you. I've known for months, but I kept trying to convince myself that you were going to hurt me again. But when I looked into your eyes on Friday, all that insecurity and doubt and fear just went away. You reeled me back with a look that told me everything I needed to know."

"And what was that look?"

Santana lifted her shoulder and smiled. "That you loved me. I knew that your love would always be enough. B, you're the kind of person that loves with every single part of you. Some people love with their hearts, some people love with their souls, some people love with their bodies, but you love with your _entire_ being."

Brittany smiled. "But that's the way I love you. I've never loved anyone else the way I love you."

"I know, B. And that's how I knew that we'd be okay. Yeah, we're bound to have some rough patches, but I knew, in that moment, that we were worth fighting for. That _you_ were worth fighting for. Brittany, you're everything."

Brittany’s eyes shone and she crept forward for a kiss. It was chaste and appropriate for the setting, but it said so much more to the two women experiencing it. They spent the next few minutes just staring at each other, their eyes saying all the things their mouths didn't need to. The waiter arrived with their drinks, but Santana stopped him before he left.

" _¿El deejay hacer peticiones_?" she asked.

" _Estoy seguro que lo hace, pero yo me iré y una doble comprobación para usted_ ," he replied.

" _Gracias_ ," Santana said and smiled.

"What was that?" Brittany asked suspiciously.

Santana chuckled. "I just asked him to check something for me," she replied, taking a strand of blonde hair and twirling it around her finger. "Don't worry, it wasn't anything bad."

"I really need to learn Spanish," Brittany mumbled, but Santana caught it and laughed.

"You really are so adorable," she cooed.

Brittany grinned.

"Babe," Santana started, her tone becoming serious. She saw Brittany's expression change too, but she was attentive. "You know that I'm not mad anymore, right?"

Santana knew that she didn't need to elaborate further than that with Brittany.

Brittany nodded slowly. "I know you're not mad _now_ , San. But you were. And you were mad at me. And that sucks. I hate it when I make you mad."

"But, baby, I made you mad too," Santana replied quickly.

"Yeah, but I left you. That was pretty bad."

"I told you I hated you."

"Oh, yeah. That was pretty bad too," Brittany agreed thoughtfully, but there was no anger in her tone.

"Britt, we've been through this, haven't we? We agreed that we both hurt each other and that we both said things we would never normally say. Are you scared that you're going to say something to make me that mad again?"

Brittany dropped her head and nodded slightly. Santana tipped her chin up.

"Baby, the only thing that could make me that mad again, would be for you to tell me that you're leaving. But you promised me that you wouldn't-"

"And I won't," Brittany broke in quickly. "I promise, San, I'm not ever, ever leaving you again."

"Well, that's good," Santana replied, her mind going back to that little nagging thought, the thought that no one knew about. It made her smile at the idea of their long future together.

"What are you smiling about?" Brittany asked curiously, a small smile also playing on her lips.

Santana shook her head. "Just the future."

Brittany's smile widened. "I'm super excited for the future. I'd wish it here already, but it kinda is cos every second takes us from the present to the future."

Santana smiled. That sounded like something that her daughter would come up and end it off with her no-nonsense logical look that no one in the world could argue with. Santana suddenly had an idea.

"Hey, B?"

Brittany squeezed her hand in response.

"It's my turn to host Glee Night this month. It's on Friday."

Brittany nodded.

"Well, I was hoping you could be moved in by then? I just don't really want boxes and things lying around. Kurt and Rachel can be nightmares about that stuff."

Brittany blinked in surprise, but Santana saw the smile growing in her head. Brittany leaned forward and kissed her.

"This is really happening, right? We're going to be living together again?"

Santana smiled so big that her eyes scrunched up. "I want you to be in every aspect of my life, Brittany Pierce. I want everything with you again."

Brittany grinned cheekily. "If I didn't know any better, I'd expect you to propose next."

Santana raised an eyebrow. " _Aún no, pero pronto_ ," she replied softly.

Before Brittany could ask for a translation, the waiter appeared with their food. Santana just looked at her, a smile permanently etched on her face. She was dying to tell her what she'd said in Spanish, but part of her wanted the eventual step to actually be a surprise.

_Not yet, mi amor. But soon, very soon._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I...yeah. No excuses, really.
> 
> Come and join the Brittana discord :) https://discord.gg/WUpexmr


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dude...I write a lot of smut...

Santana caught the eye of their waiter and he winked at her. She smiled and removed her napkin from her lap.

"B?"

Her girlfriend looked up from her food and smiled.

"I was wondering if you'd like to dance with me?"

Brittany grinned widely and took her outstretched hand. Santana led Brittany to the small dance floor and placed a hand on her waist. Britt’s eyes widened at the song that started playing and Santana grinned. She'd managed to get their waiter to convince the band to play _I Wanna Dance With Somebody_ , but in Spanish. It meant a big tip for the waiter, but the look on her girlfriend's face was so worth it.

"You're gonna lead, San?" Brittany teased.

Santana grinned. "I wouldn't dream of it, B."

Brittany smiled and moved Santana's hand from her waist to her shoulder and put her own on Santana’s slim waist, quickly hiking it up to rest just below her girlfriend's shoulder blade.

Santana grinned. One of the best things about Brittany being so supportive of her culture was that she _loved_ the dances. She'd perfected pretty much every single one. And the tango was one of their favourites.

The first verse started and Brittany moved towards Santana, pressing their bodies together. She stepped forward and Santana mirrored her automatically. Their bodies moved perfectly, guided by Brittany's strong hand on her back. Santana slipped her leg between Brittany’s as Brittany dipped her low.

Santana was vaguely aware of cheers going around the tables close to the dance floor, but her eyes were locked on her girlfriend's. They were dancing to their own song, as always. It was just them. It was another way for them to express how perfect they were together.

Brittany pulled away and spun Santana around, using her hand to steady her turns. She stopped her suddenly, dropping her into a low dip. Their eyes met again and Brittany's sparkled. She slowly pulled Santana up, joining their lips in a soft kiss. They continued moving through the steps, Brittany guiding Santana into the turns, spins and dips perfectly.

When the song ended, there was a huge round of applause and they looked around, blushing at how every table was looking at them in awe. Brittany brushed her lips against Santana's cheek and she looked up at Brittany lovingly.

"Best date ever," Brittany whispered, pulling Santana into her as a salsa number started up.

They twirled around on the floor and were glad when a few other couples came to join them. As good as they were, it was nice to have the attention off them. After three dances, Brittany pulled Santana back to their table.

"That was so much fun!" she exclaimed, sitting down and sipping her wine.

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, B," Santana said warmly. "I love you."

"I love you, San."

They pressed their lips together briefly before getting back to their food, which had been mysteriously reheated before they'd gotten back to their table.

"When are we gonna tell everyone?" Brittany asked. "Won't it be like an ambush on Friday?"

"Well, I think they'll be surprised either way, babe. We may as well tell them all at once."

Brittany went quiet and started fiddling with her food. Santana put her hand over her girlfriend's and waited for her to meet her gaze.

"What is it, B?"

Brittany took a breath, dropped her eyes again, and opened her mouth but nothing came out.

"Take your time, love. There's no rush."

Santana nibbled on her food as Brittany mulled around with her thoughts, not once letting go of her hand.

"What if they don't let me be with you?" Brittany finally asked softly.

Santana frowned in confusion. "Who, baby? Rachel and Kurt? I don't think they would do that. But even if they tried, I wouldn't let them. Brittany, you are in my life now, and I don't want that to change anytime soon. Preferably ever."

"And if they make you choose?"

Santana abandoned her food and turned her whole body towards Brittany, giving her girlfriend all of her focus. "Britt, look at me. Come on, please?" She was surprised at the amount of uncertainty in Brittany’s eyes. "Hey, what's going on? I thought that we were good? Why are you having these doubts now?"

"Everything is so perfect that I feel like it's a dream. But I know it's not a dream cos you're really here and I can touch you and kiss you and stuff. But life is about balance, like ying and yang and we've been totally ying since we got back together, but we haven't had the yang yet and I'm so scared that the bad will be really bad."

Santana took a moment, dissecting Brittany's ramblings. "Babe, it hasn't been all perfect. Look at what happened today. We had our first fight. Yeah, it was something silly, but we worked through it, didn't we? And look at us now. We're out on this amazing date that you put together and it's like the best parts of both of us. Little Mexican restaurant, with a bit of dancing. It's perfect. Like us."

Santana knew that she hadn't really addressed what Brittany's fears were, but she didn't really know how to. Were they irrational? She knew better than to patronise Brittany. She was incredibly sensitive when it came to feelings and how she interpreted them.

"You really think we're perfect, San?" Brittany asked quietly.

"Course I do," she replied with a smile, leaning down to brush her lips across Brittany's knuckles.

"Cos I never thought we'd ever break up, but then we did so I was wrong. What if you're wrong this time?"

Santana paused. "Brittany, I can't tell what's going to happen in the future. I can definitely tell you what I'd like to happen."

"You know what you want in the future?" Brittany asked, her natural curiosity spiked.

Santana nodded and smiled. "Do you want me to tell you what I'd like the future to be?"

Brittany nodded.

"Okay, but remember, this is just _my_ dream." Santana took a deep breath. "I'd love for Bella to find the love of her life in high school like I did. I'd love for her to graduate and have her pick of colleges, doing whatever she wants, be it medicine or dancing." Brittany smiled at that. "I'd love to start a glee club at Griffin Hill and win a national title with them. I'd love to know that I've made a difference to at least one student's life where they can look back and say, 'I have Santana Lopez to thank for that'. I'd love to keep my figure, but that may be wishful thinking."

Brittany giggled and trailed a finger down Santana's bare arm. "I'd love you no matter what you looked like."

Santana smiled. "And that's what I'd love the most. I would love more than anything to spend the rest of my life loving you and showing you how much I love you. I want to grow old with you, Brittany Pierce."

Her smile lit up the room and Santana felt her gut pull violently, but in a good way.

"You really hope that's your future?"

Santana nodded. "That's if everything goes perfectly, but if it doesn't, I'll settle for being happy in a shoe box with you and making sure that Bella can do what makes her happiest."

"You make me happiest," Brittany said with a smile, leaning in to kiss Santana.

Santana chuckled against her lips. "You're cute."

Brittany scrunched up her nose in response.

"You're not going to tell me your dreams for the future?" Santana asked in surprise.

Brittany shrugged. "They've pretty much all come true."

"Pretty much?"

"Well, I got to go on tour, I'm teaching dance and I'm with you."

"That's it?"

"Well," Brittany said. "There is one more thing, but I know it's going to happen someday so I'm not worried."

Santana was intrigued. "What is it?"

Brittany smiled mischievously. "If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret now would it?"

"I thought we weren't keeping secrets?" Santana teased, leaning forward on her elbows.

"Hmmm, good point, but seeing as how you already know what it is, I don't have to tell you."

Santana frowned. "How can I know it?"

"Cos you told me," Brittany said with a smile.

"What? When?"

"Ah, now that would be spoiling the surprise, wouldn't it?" Brittany teased, bopping her girlfriend on the nose.

Santana stared at Brittany, her brow furrowed. What could she be talking about? There was only really one thing that it could be, but how on earth could Brittany know about that? She hadn't told anyone and hadn't even gone shopping for a ring or anything.

 _Crap_.

What if she'd actually understood what Santana had said in Spanish earlier?

"San, stop thinking so hard," Brittany chuckled. "Please don't worry about it. It's nothing bad and it's something we both want for the future so it can only be a good thing then, right?"

"I guess," Santana said slowly. She _really_ wanted to know how Brittany had found out, though.

_Who the fuck cares? The love of your life has pretty much just told you that she'll say yes when you ask her! Chill the fuck out, Lopez!_

Well, for once, her conscience may actually be right. Santana leaned in and kissed Brittany hard on the mouth, leaving her a little breathless when she broke away.

"Wow."

Santana smiled. "I love you. And no matter what happens, we'll deal with it, but I'm pretty sure we're more solid than we've ever been, so _I'm_ not worried."

"Really?"

Santana gave Brittany an Eskimo kiss. "Really, really."

Brittany grinned and sat back in her chair, leaving her hand entwined with Santana's.

"I'm stuffed. Is there still some ice cream at home?"

Santana couldn't help the goofy grin that took over her face.

"What?" Brittany asked in amusement.

"You said home. As in _our_ home. Together."

"Wait, was I not supposed to?" Brittany asked in alarm. "I mean, I know I haven't actually moved any of my stuff in properly and-"

Santana cut her off with a kiss. "B, you can call it our home with the greatest of pleasure. It makes me so happy that you already think of it as home."

"Really?" Brittany grinned.

Santana just kissed her again. She pulled away slightly and licked her lips. "Wanna get out of here?"

Brittany nodded fervently.

* * *

"Could you take a left here, please?" Brittany asked the cab driver.

"Babe, home's that way," Santana pointed out.

"I know," Brittany said with a smile. "We have someone to pick up first."

Santana's face broke into a happy smile and she sat up eagerly. Brittany's heart warmed at the sight of Santana excited at seeing her daughter. She'd texted Rachel to let her know that they were on their way.

"Wait here, please?" Brittany asked the driver, opening the door and climbing out. She turned around and held out her hand for Santana, who took it and squeezed.

"As much as I want you right now, I also really missed her today," Santana said, jogging up the stairs to Rachel and Finn's apartment.

Brittany chuckled. "She goes to bed three hours before we do, baby," she said in Santana's ear, darting her tongue out to lick the lobe. "I'm sure I can find a way for us to catch up."

"Oh," Santana breathed.

She pushed the button for the elevator and turned around to face her girlfriend. She put one hand behind her neck and one on her waist and pulled their bodies together, crashing her mouth against Brittany's.

Santana kissed her furiously, intoxicatingly and Brittany felt her knees start to shake. Only Santana could _ever_ make her feel so amazing and so weak at the same time. She became absolute jelly when at the mercy of her mouth, no matter where it was on her body.

The elevator opening caused Santana to pull away, but Brittany only leaned forward and captured her lips again. She felt her girlfriend smile into the kiss and only broke apart to pull her into the elevator and push the correct floor before connecting her mouth with Brittany's again. Britt pushed her tongue into Santana's mouth roughly and toyed with it, stroking it with her own.

Santana moaned and pulled Brittany closer to her by the neck, letting her own tongue explore Brittany’s mouth. Brittany returned the moan and pushed Santana up against the elevator door in an attempt to try and kiss her more deeply, although she was pretty sure that it wasn't possible.

Their hands were roaming all over each other's bodies, desperate to get skin on skin.

"Ugh," Santana finally gasped. "B, we can't…now. Have to…"

Brittany just joined their mouths again and Santana's protest was lost in another moan.

She could never get enough of Santana. It was like she was Brittany’s oxygen. As soon as she had a taste, she needed all of her, everywhere, _all the time_. Her need for her was insatiable. Brittany was pretty sure that neither of them minded so much.

Brittany trailed her lips down Santana's neck to the pulse point she loved so much. Santana squealed as Brittany's tongue traced over the skin.

"Shit, B! Shit, stop!"

"What?" Brittany asked, pulling away.

Santana was looking up and Brittany followed her gaze. In the top corner of the elevator, a small camera was mounted. Brittany grinned and turned back to her flushed and thoroughly aroused girlfriend.

"Well, it wouldn't be the first time there's been a camera present, babe," she said in a low voice, leaning into Santana's neck.

"Jesus," Santana hissed as Brittany's tongue started caressing her pulse point again. "Ugh, babe as _amazing_ as that feels, we have to stop."

Brittany pulled away and sighed, but she wasn't upset. "I blame you," she said matter-of-factly, twirling a strand of Santana's dark hair around her finger.

"Oh?" Santana asked in amusement.

"You're too damn sexy for me to resist. It's not my fault that I can't keep my hands or my mouth off you."

A pained expression of arousal crossed Santana's face and she bit her lip.

"Right now, we're focusing on Bella," she said slowly and deliberately, her eyes never leaving Brittany's. "But rest assured that as soon as she's in bed asleep, you're going to see just how much I _love_ having your mouth on me."

Brittany felt like she could actually come right there. Santana's low voice, her smoky eyes and her smirk were enough to render her completely useless.

Santana rolled her body against Brittany's to give herself enough room to squeeze out from between her girlfriend and the wall, just in time for the doors to open.

Brittany had to take a few deep breaths, resting her forehead against the wall that Santana had just vacated before her body felt like it could move again. She turned around and saw Santana smiling at her, holding out her hand. Brittany smiled back and thread their fingers together.

"Do I look okay?" Santana whispered as they walked down the short hallway to Rachel and Finn's door.

Brittany gave her a once over and grinned proudly. Santana’s hair was okay, but her lips were swollen, her eyes were much darker and her cheeks were flushed.

"Well, _I_ know you look like you really want me to push you up against this wall and make you scream my name, but yeah, to everyone else you look fine."

Santana's mouth dropped open and Brittany saw the subtle squeeze of her legs.

"Fuck, B. You can't _say_ stuff like that!" she whined. "I'm practically dripping for you here."

Brittany grinned wickedly and halted their movements, pulling her girlfriend against her. "Then how about we find a broom closet somewhere and do something about that?"

She could see that Santana _really_ wanted to.

"Rachel knows that we're on our way, but I didn't mention how long we'd be," Brittany added hopefully. The thought of feeling Santana shuddering around her fingers had now completely encompassed her brain. She _needed_ it. _Now_.

Santana opened her mouth, then closed it and bit her lip, her eyes darting to Rachel and Finn's door a few feet away.

Brittany smiled triumphantly when she felt Santana grab her hand and drag her back towards the elevator. Next to the silver double doors was an ordinary brown door and Santana yanked it open. Brittany happily followed her in, pulling it closed behind her.

It was pitch dark inside, but they had a photographic memory of each other's bodies. They didn't need any light to see what they were doing.

Brittany felt Santana's hand on her neck and pulled them together, fusing their lips. Her tongue was immediately demanding entry, which Brittany gladly granted. Santana pushed her against the door she'd just closed and slipped a leg between Brittany's, rolling her hips hard into hers. Brittany threw her head back at the welcome friction against her pulsating core. Santana dragged her tongue up the side of Brittany's neck, causing her to shiver in pleasure.

"You're going to ride my fingers _hard_ ," Santana said firmly in her ear. "I'm not going to do anything. You're going to do everything."

Brittany nodded quickly. God, she needed Santana inside her. She felt like she was about to burst. She hurriedly started unbuttoning her jeans and pushed them down. Her movements were frozen when she felt Santana brush two fingers against her soaked panties.

"Keep going," Santana ordered, her voice heavy with desire.

Brittany kicked her heels off so that she could push her jeans down her trembling legs. Santana wasn't stopping the movement of her fingers and it was driving her crazy.

Santana reached behind her and felt for the lock of the door, flicking it. She pressed Brittany against the door, finding her lips in the darkness. Brittany responded eagerly to the furious kissing, playing around Santana's tongue with her own.

Santana gripped Brittany's thigh and lifted it. Brittany immediately got the message and wrapped both her legs around Santana’s waist, using the locked door as a brace. Santana used her thumb to pull Brittany's panties to the side, leaving her wet pussy open and so very available. She put two fingers at Brittany's entrance and stopped.

Brittany lifted her hips and lowered herself onto Santana's fingers. They both moaned at the feeling and Brittany immediately started rolling her hips, moving those _very_ capable fingers around inside her. Santana really wasn't doing anything except holding her against the door. Brittany was creating as much friction as she could to get that release she was craving so badly.

"Fuck!" she gasped, grinding down particularly hard on Santana's fingers and hitting that special spot inside her.

"Again," Santana commanded.

Brittany could tell from Santana’s voice that this was just as much of a turn on for Santana as it was for her. Well, maybe not _as_ much considering that Brittany was about a breath away from an awesome orgasm.

She obliged to Santana's request and lifted her hips, dropping them hard on her fingers. She dropped one of her own hands to furiously rub her clit – she knew Santana wasn't going to do it for her. Rolling her hips again, she timed another thrust as she pushed down on her clit and it was enough to unlock that glorious explosion of pleasure.

She shuddered and Santana held her steady against the door as she came down from her high.

"Hmmm," Santana murmured, kissing Britt’s sweaty neck. "That was incredibly hot, B."

Brittany was still trying to get her breath back and feel her legs so she just turned her head and met Santana's mouth. Santana was hungry and eager in her kisses. Brittany dropped her legs back to the ground, causing Santana's fingers to slip out of her. She closed her eyes at the loss, momentarily regretting it, but then she remembered that she had a job to do.

She grabbed the hand that had just been inside her and slowly pulled it up to her mouth. Santana hissed, knowing what Brittany planned to do. Their eyes had adjusted to the darkness, but they could really only see silhouettes of each other – not that it mattered.

Brittany wrapped her lips around the two fingers that had just been inside her and ran her tongue along them.

"Jesus." Santana's voice was pained.

Once Brittany had licked Santana's fingers clean, she released them with a smirk before spinning them around and slamming Santana's back against the door.

"Your turn," she whispered huskily, kissing her passionately.

Santana moaned into the kiss, her hands desperately grabbing at the skin available to her.

Brittany broke the kiss and dropped to her knees. "You ready for my mouth on you, baby?"

"Oh, God, you have _no_ idea," Santana moaned, her hips bucking off the door in her desperate need for some alleviation for her desire.

Brittany smirked and pulled the zip on Santana's jeans down quickly. She wasn't in the mood for teasing. She wanted to taste her so badly. She pulled the tight jeans down Santana's smooth legs and let her step out of them. Miraculously, her heels stayed on. Brittany smiled. Fucking Santana with her heels on just added to the spice. She loved it.

Brittany gripped her girlfriend's ass and buried her face in her pussy. She could tell it caught Santana by surprise because she yelped and fisted her hand in Brittany's hair in pleasure. Brittany inhaled deeply.

"God, you smell good enough to eat," she murmured, her thumbs hooking Santana's underwear and pulling them down.

"I would really, _really_ love it if you would," Santana pleaded, stepping out of her underwear.

"With pleasure, my love," Brittany replied, diving into Santana's entrance with her tongue.

She stroked and probed, swirled around and flicked until Santana was a quivering mess. She wanted to feel Santana come against her mouth, but she also wanted to feel her body too. Her desire for the latter won out and she pulled her mouth away, causing her girlfriend to whimper in protest. Brittany wiped her mouth and stood up, gripping Santana's ass with both hands. She easily lifted her up with the aid of the door and Santana wrapped her legs around her.

"I just wanted to feel you," Brittany whispered, plunging two fingers deep into Santana, who gasped and her head hit the door behind her in pleasure.

Brittany quickly settled into a hard rhythm, pumping in and out of Santana furiously. Santana's back was hitting the door with the force of Brittany's thrusts and the sounds she was making only drove Britt to push harder. They didn't often have rough sex because they tended to get _really_ rough and found bruises and scratches the next day, but on occasion they did like to get down and dirty, like having sex in a dark broom closet in an apartment building that wasn't even theirs.

"Oh, _God_ , yes, Brittany!" Santana screamed.

Brittany flicked her thumb over her girlfriend's throbbing clit and pulled her off her door so that she could drive her fingers fully into Santana's pussy. She felt the walls inside grabbing frantically at her fingers and she smiled, pulling out and thrusting in hard, slamming her back against the door.

"Again!" Santana cried out.

Brittany took her weight again and Santana held onto her for dear life as her legs started to shake violently. Brittany pressed her thumb against her clit and pumped in hard, finally giving Santana her orgasm. She pushed her back against the door to increase the pleasure, but the door burst open and she fell forward, still holding her girlfriend tightly.

They landed on the door that was now flat on the floor. Santana was still twitching from her high and Brittany was still buried deep inside her. Brittany looked up and glanced around frantically, but there wasn't anyone around.

"Babe, we broke the door," Brittany whispered to Santana, whose face was buried in her neck.

"Hmmm," was all she could manage in return.

Brittany smiled and managed to get onto her knees – not an easy feat considering that Santana refused to let her go. She shakily managed to get to her feet and backtracked into the closet.

"Baby," she said, kissing Santana's exposed cheek. "Come on, someone's gonna have heard that."

Santana sighed. "I love you." She lifted her head and kissed Brittany's lips softly before unwrapping her legs from around her girlfriend. "Ugh, my legs are like jelly," she moaned. "Baby, that was _so_ hot. I miss our rough sex."

Brittany chuckled and grabbed Santana’s pants, handing them to her. She pulled her own on and grabbed her shoes. She almost forgot about Santana's underwear and found them after a little bit of searching, stuffing them into her pocket.

Santana was having a little trouble with her pants so Brittany helped her pull them on, copping a quick feel of her naked butt.

"Cheeky," Santana laughed.

"Always," Brittany replied. "You okay?"

"Uh, probably not cos I feel like I'm still coming down, but I can wing it. You?"

Brittany grinned. "I'm _always_ good."

They stepped out into the hallway and quickly made their way to Rachel and Finn's door, checking each other's appearances, although they both looked very sexed up.

"Maybe she won't notice," Santana mumbled, knocking on the door. "She _is_ Rachel Berry after all."

The door opened and they both smiled brightly.

"Hi," Rachel greeted, stepping aside. "When I got Brittany's message, Bella was about to go to bed, but then she demanded that she stay awake until you got here."

"Mommy!"

Bella raced into her mother's arms and Santana caught her, picking her up and squeezing her.

"Hey, baby girl," she said softly. "I missed you."

"Missed you," Bella mumbled, her face buried into her mother's neck. "Hi, Big B."

"Hey, Little B," Brittany said softly, smiling at Santana's daughter.

"Mommy, you smell strange."

"Thanks for watching Bella, Rachel," Brittany cut in quickly. "We got so much stuff done tonight."

"Oh, it's never a problem to spend time with Bella," Rachel replied, affectionately rubbing the little girl's back.

"I think she's pretty beat," Santana said quietly, watching her daughter's eyes droop closed.

Brittany grabbed Bella's bag from next to the couch and followed Santana to the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Santana said, smiling at Rachel.

Rachel nodded furiously. "I'm very excited for our Glee Night on Friday. It feels like we haven't had one in ages."

"I think we skipped last month for whatever reason," Santana replied. "But we'll make up for it, I'm sure."

"Get ready to have your ass handed to you, Lopez," Rachel teased, opening the door for them.

"Is that a challenge I hear, Berry?" Santana retorted good-naturedly. "Game on."

Rachel chuckled as Santana and Brittany exited the apartment.

"Good night, Rachel," Brittany said, waving as she and her girlfriend headed to the elevator.

"Oh my God!" Rachel exclaimed. "What happened to that door?"

Brittany looked at Santana, who was doing her best to keep a straight face.

"It was like that when we got here," Santana said, her voice surprisingly steady. "Maybe the maintenance guy had a little too many after hours?"

Rachel shook her head in frustration. "It wouldn't be the first time."

"Night, Berry!" Santana called.

"Good night, ladies!"

Brittany and Santana shared a lusty look complete with saucy grins and Brittany pushed the elevator button.

"Oh my-" Brittany suddenly said, her hand over her mouth. She looked frantically at the time on her phone.

"What?" Santana whispered in alarm.

"The taxi's been waiting for us this whole time," Brittany whispered back, unable to stop the giggle that rose up. "We've been gone for over forty minutes."

"Ouch. That's all you, babe. You're the one that suggested the broom closet."

Brittany shrugged and grinned. "Totally worth it."

Santana matched her grin as they stepped into the elevator together. Brittany leaned over Bella to give Santana a quick kiss.

"Not allowed," Bella mumbled sleepily.


	32. Chapter 32

Santana shuddered in pleasure and felt Brittany's lips against her neck, soothing her heated skin.

"I'm definitely liking this new plan," she breathed, holding her legs locked around Brittany. Santana was sitting on the desk in Brittany's office, her pants and underwear on the floor. Brittany was standing in between her legs.

"Hmmm," Brittany agreed, her lips never leaving Santana's neck. "Why eat actual food when I can just eat you for lunch every day?"

Santana shuddered in pleasure again, not sure whether it was an aftershock of her orgasm or because of Brittany's delicious words. Her fingers were still deeply buried inside Santana, who was quite happy to leave them there as they went through their post-sex cuddles.

Brittany's lips eventually found Santana's again and they kissed lazily. Santana could feel Brittany's fingers starting to move inside her again and she moaned. No one else could get her body ready so quickly. Brittany had been the only one to coax multiple orgasms out of her, and she seldom stopped at one round.

_Standard procedure. When last have you two had sex only once a night, never mind a day?_

Santana mulled over that as Brittany started sliding in and out, her lips moving along her neck again.

The previous day they'd had sex seven times. _Seven_. And they could easily have gone for more. Their need for sleep had simply overwhelmed them after Brittany had come around Santana's fingers for the second time in quick succession.

Santana's hands were roaming softly over Brittany's back as she built her up slowly again. As rough as their sex the previous night had been (both Brittany and Santana were deliciously sore that morning), the slow, lovemaking that they sometimes had, like this, was just as special.

" _Te amo_ ," Santana whispered.

"I love you," Brittany replied, looking into her eyes as she curled her fingers inside Santana, causing her to grip Brittany’s shoulders tightly in pleasure.

Their gazes locked and remained on each other until Santana was arching and shaking into Brittany again. She leaned her head on Brittany's shoulder as she brought her down carefully.

"That was amazing, babe," she whispered. "But what about you?" She glanced at the clock and saw that they didn't have much time before lunch ended.

"You can make it up to me tonight," Brittany replied, kissing her cheek. "You looked like you needed to relax more than I did."

Santana sighed in agreement and rested her head on Brittany’s shoulder again. It was honestly more comfortable than the softest pillow in the world.

"I think I may have a girl in my class that's cheating on her exams," she said softly. "I need to find definitive proof first, but I went back over some of her exams and the questions she'd gotten right were pretty much word for word from my memo."

"I'm sorry, San," Brittany murmured, stroking her hair. "That can't be easy to stomach."

Santana just shook her head. "I want to talk to her, but I don't even know what I'd ask or where to start. I mean, this is life-changing stuff. Her life could be ruined because of this."

"Then wait until you have evidence that proves her innocence or guilt and try not to let it get you down."

Santana was quiet, knowing that Brittany was right.

"San."

She raised her head and met her girlfriend's loving blue orbs.

"This in no way reflects on you as a teacher. This girl obviously did what she did, _if_ she even did it, for a reason and I guarantee you it's got _nothing_ to do with you."

Santana smiled. Even though she shouldn't really be surprised, Brittany still amazed her with how well she knew her. Santana leaned in and kissed her softly, breaking apart when she heard her phone vibrating on the table. Brittany pulled her fingers out of Santana and she moaned at the loss. She wished there was some way for her to just permanently have Brittany's fingers inside her all the time.

She picked up her phone and frowned at the caller ID.

"Berry?" she greeted.

"Hi, Santana," Rachel replied, sounding rushed.

"What's up?"

"Um, I'm in a bit of a bind. My director has called an emergency rehearsal because my co-star has come down with pharyngitis and we need to get his understudy up to par."

"Okay, so you can't fetch Bella?" Santana queried.

"I'm so sorry," Rachel apologised profusely. "I tried Finn, Kurt and Blaine but they're all swamped with work and can't get away."

"Don't stress, Rach, I'll fetch her," Santana replied with a smile.

"But the thing is, she ends two hours early today because the faculty are doing some team building thing. She told me about it yesterday."

"Oh."

"I'm at a loss, Santana. I really did try-"

"Rachel, please stop worrying," Santana cut in. "I'm very grateful that you exhausted all avenues before telling me. But you guys bend over backwards when it comes to Bella, so let me take the load for a bit. Okay?"

"You're sure?"

"Of course," Santana said with a smile. "She is my responsibility, after all."

"You know that's not how we see it, Santana."

"No, I know. But seriously, Rach. Thank you for your efforts, but I'll sort something out."

"Okay," Rachel breathed, sounding relieved.

"Break a leg!" Santana sang.

"Bye."

Santana hung up the phone and bit her lip.

"What's wrong?" Brittany asked in concern, entwining her fingers with Santana's.

"Bella's school gets out in an hour and no one can fetch her."

"I'll do it," Brittany said immediately.

Santana blinked. "Babe, we have classes till three."

"Yeah, but I can let my classes just continue their drills. Seriously, San, I totally can. I'm sure DC will let me. Please?"

Santana smiled. "You really wanna fetch her?"

Brittany nodded eagerly. "And then I can bring her back here and she can spend the afternoon with us and we can show her everything about the musical and-"

"B," Santana chuckled.

"Yeah?"

"That sounds perfect," Santana said softly, leaning in for a kiss. "I'm so lucky to have you."

Brittany grinned and peppered kisses all over Santana's face. "Thank you, thank you!"

The bell rang and they broke away.

"Uh, pants," Santana said quickly, jumping off the desk. "May need those."

Brittany giggled and helped Santana dress quickly. She pulled her in for a lingering goodbye kiss before they both walked out of Brittany's office with big smiles on their faces.

* * *

Santana glanced at the girl that was suspected of cheating. Santana had decided to give a pop quiz to see if she could pick up anything strange. The girl, Chloe, looked totally stressed. Santana had done her research. She was a scholarship kid, but her parents could have afforded to send her to Griffin Hill without a problem. Her older sister had graduated two years previously, but no red flags had been raised about her.

Chloe was a relatively quiet girl. Santana couldn't remember her being particularly participative in class, but her work had shown that she had one hell of a brain on her. Santana knew a creative brain when she saw one.

Something was clearly going on with Chloe, though, and Santana knew that she needed to talk to her before the girl did something to seriously jeopardise her future.

There was a soft knock on her door and Santana looked up to see Brittany’s smiling face, but her attention was quickly directed to the small blur of red and black that raced across the classroom and launched herself into Santana's arms.

"Hi, baby," Santana whispered happily, squeezing her tightly.

"Mommy, I'm so excited!" Bella said with a big smile.

"Sshhh, _mija_ ," Santana hushed her. "They're writing a test."

"Oops," Bella whispered, turning to look at the class who were all looking at them with affection.

Bella was an absolute hit with the entire student body. Her friendliness and energy were completely infectious and the first time Santana had brought Bella to school because of a teacher's retreat, she'd had everyone, including DC, wrapped around her little finger. _Not that it's difficult to fall in love with mini-Santana_ , she thought proudly.

"Good luck," Bella said to the class, giving them a thumbs up.

There were a few chuckles and heads were lowered again as they resumed their test.

Santana picked her daughter up and walked to the door where Brittany was standing and smiling at them.

"Thanks for doing this, B," she whispered.

"It really wasn't a problem," Brittany replied in a low voice, grinning at Bella, who started making funny faces. "We came up with a new game on the way back here."

"Yeah, we pretend to be different people we know, but then we turn their faces upside down," Bella whispered, pulling another strange face.

Santana chuckled quietly. "You two are so strange."

"I'm gonna get back to the studio," Brittany said, leaning slightly closer, but keeping enough distance to still be professional. "I'll see you after?"

Santana nodded. "Bye, B."

Brittany winked at Santana, drawing a heart on her face quickly before poking Bella in the tummy and disappearing down the hall. Santana walked back to her desk and set Bella down. She didn't need to monitor her daughter's movements – she loved exploring her classroom and kept herself occupied for ages, looking through all the books. Once again, Santana marvelled at Bella's thirst for knowledge.

"Mama, am I gonna stay with you till tonight?" Bella whispered, standing next to her desk.

Santana turned to her and nodded. "I'm going to need your expertise to help with the auditions."

Bella's eyes widened in excitement and Santana couldn't help the smile that broke out across her face at her daughter's enthusiasm. The first student approached her desk with his test and Santana smiled up at Ben, who grinned shyly and handed his paper to her.

"See you in the auditorium after school?" she said softly.

Ben nodded. "My dad was so psyched when I told him," he replied in a whisper.

"Awesome."

"Hi!" Bella said, then remembered that people were still writing. She clamped a hand over her mouth in horror.

"It's okay, baby," Santana whispered. "This is Ben. You'll see him later."

"Are you in the musical?" Bella asked.

Ben nodded and Santana saw the red flush flare up on his neck.

"It's gonna be amazing cos my mommy wrote it," Bella said proudly.

Santana rolled her eyes and raised her hand in a goodbye wave to Ben as he left.

"Do I have a fan?" she teased her daughter quietly.

"You always tell me the bestest stories," Bella replied. "And Glee Club sounds like it was a lot of fun."

Santana smiled and kissed her forehead. "Go busy yourself, baby. Class will be over soon."

Bella skipped over to the corner where Santana had her own little library and started perusing through them. Santana smiled affectionately and turned back to the students, her eyes automatically resting on Chloe. She looked completely panicked and Santana frowned. This girl used to get A’s in her class without even batting an eyelid. Something was definitely going on and Santana needed to find out what it was soon.

* * *

Bella skipped at Santana's side as they made their way to the auditorium. Every few seconds, she would greet someone who called her name. Santana rolled her eyes. Her daughter was more popular than her. They ducked through the courtyard and the sound of singing caused Santana to stop. It wasn't just any singing, either. This girl was _good_.

"Hold up, Bella," she called to her daughter.

Mini-Santana skidded to a stop and followed her mother's tentative steps towards an empty classroom. The song was a beautiful one – not many people listened to Roxette. The emotion was so strong, so heart-breaking.

_“The morning comes and you're reaching out for me just like everything's the same and I let myself believe things are gonna change. When you kiss my mouth and you hold my body close, do you wonder who's inside? Maybe there's no way we could feel each other's pain. Tell me why it gets harder to know where I stand. I guess loneliness found a new friend, here I am.”_

Santana felt Bella's hand slip into hers and they both peeked into the classroom. Santana’s mouth dropped open. Lying across two desks pushed together, was Chloe Stemmet, the very same girl that she had been watching closely in her classroom two lessons before.

She was amazed at the girl's voice. It held a definite Rachel Berry quality with its underlying power. Santana hadn't heard many people who could evoke emotion in a song quite like Rachel Berry. Yet, this sixteen-year-old girl was doing the same thing and it was actually making Santana's chest hurt a little.

_“You don't understand me. You don't seem to get me, my baby. You don't really see that I live for your touch.  
You don't understand me, my dreams or the things I believe in, my love. You don't understand me. You don't understand me. Understand me.”_

Yup, something was definitely up with Chloe. Santana was debating whether or not to disturb her when Chloe suddenly sat up and they locked gazes. Her eyes went wide and she scrambled to get her stuff together.

"Chloe, wait," Santana said quickly, stepping into the classroom. "You don't have to run away."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know that anyone was around," Chloe mumbled, her gaze fixated on her bag in her hands.

"Don't apologise," Santana replied, slowly walking closer to her. "I never knew you sang."

Chloe shrugged. "It's whatever. I can't really."

"Yes, you can," Bella piped up before Santana could say anything. "You sounded really good."

Chloe looked at Bella and Santana saw a small smile cross her face. Bella took that as a good sign and dropped Santana’s hand to step forward. Santana could only stand back and marvel as her daughter worked her magic.

"I'm Bella," she said, holding out her hand. "That's my mommy."

Chloe smiled a real smile. "I'm Chloe," she replied, taking Bella's outstretched hand. "And I know she's your mom."

Chloe’s eyes flitted to Santana, who just smiled warmly.

"Are you in the musical?" Bella asked.

Chloe fidgeted and looked down, shaking her head.

"Why not?" Bella persisted. "You sing really well so you should be."

Chloe shrugged. "I'm not that good. And I don't…I can't…"

"Chloe, you're good," Santana said softly, moving next to Bella and leaning against the desk behind her. "I would really like it if you came to audition."

"No, no," Chloe said suddenly, her eyes wide. "No, I can't."

"May I ask why?"

"I…I…It's…I can't," Chloe stammered. "I just can't."

"Mommy says there's no such thing as can't," Bella said. "There's won't and there's try."

Santana tried not to smile proudly. Bella was the awesomest daughter ever. If she ever needed a sidekick, there wouldn't be anyone else she'd rather have. Well, Brittany would make an awesome sidekick, but she could be the damsel in distress so Santana could rescue her and get lots of kisses as rewards.

 _Being around Brittany and Bella had turned your brain to mush_.

Santana shook her head and held onto her smile.

"I'm sorry," Chloe whispered, pulling her bag across her shoulder. "I just can't."

"Think about it," Santana suggested, catching her arm gently as she walked past. "You have serious talent, Chloe, and I'd hate to see you continue hiding it."

"It's not hiding when you're already invisible," Chloe said so softly that Santana almost didn't hear her.

She released Chloe when she moved to continue walking. Things were way more intense with her than she'd initially thought.

"Is she okay, Mommy?" Bella asked and Santana melted at the concern in her daughter's voice.

"I'm not sure, baby," she replied, looking the door that Chloe had left through. "But I'm definitely worried about her."

"She looked scared."

"That she did. Question is, what on earth is she scared of?"

* * *

Brittany was lining up her dancers on stage to start teaching them the first number of the musical. The call back auditions were happening after the dancers' first rehearsal.

"Big B!"

Brittany turned around and saw Santana entering the auditorium with her daughter in tow. Bella was pulling at Santana's hand, but she was holding her back, obviously trying to tell her that Brittany had to work.

"Come on up, Little B," Brittany called, sending Santana a slight wave.

Santana released her, managing to grab Bella's bag off her back before returning the wave with a smile. She went to sit at the desk and Brittany let her start her work.

Bella ran up the stairs and latched onto Brittany's leg, smiling up at her.

"Can I help?"

There was a chorus of 'awww' from Brittany's dancers and she couldn't help but grin.

"I think you can show these kids how a pro does it, Little B," she said. "What do you think?"

"Selling us so short, Miss P?" one of dancers teased.

"I'm short," Bella piped up, causing the group to laugh.

"Dynamite comes in small packages," Brittany quipped, holding out her hand for Bella to high five.

"Boom," Bella replied, slapping the proffered hand.

"Okay, guys. We're starting with the cafeteria scene. We're going to have a couple of tables set up at the back so some of you will be up on there, but most of you will take centre stage. Uh," she paused, visualising the performance as she saw it in her head. "Could I have my cheerleaders on this side and the rest of the ensemble on the right?"

Brittany waited as they moved into position then directed where each person would start.

"Little B, front and centre, if you please," she said with a smile.

Bella obliged quickly, a huge grin on her face.

"Okay, here we go! We'll run through the first thirty-two counts and go from there. Ready? One, two, three and spin."

Brittany faced the audience and went through the choreography step by step as her dancers followed suit. She caught Santana smiling down at her before returning her attention to her laptop. Brittany grinned happily. The musical was officially a go.

* * *

Santana's eyes drifted from the laptop screen in front of her and settled on her daughter holding her own in front of Brittany's dancers. She smiled proudly. Bella certainly had talent – Brittany kind of talent. Santana could dance, but Bella clearly had more ability than she ever had. She didn't mind, though. She loved that Bella had discovered something that she was passionate about so early in life.

She also loved how Brittany happily incorporated her into her choreography like it was no problem. Santana was pretty sure that Brittany would have to alter the movements of her dancers when Bella wasn't there, but she acted like it wasn't a big deal. And she was making Bella the star, something she could clearly see her daughter loved.

Santana let the gleeful feeling settle in her stomach and turned back to the script. She was trying to wrap it up without it seeming too cheesy. She wanted to make it realistic – something that the students could relate to. And real life wasn't always fairy tale happy endings.

 _Unless you're Brittany and Santana_.

Santana grinned. Yeah, she and Britt had that epic kind of love. They'd overcome some pretty difficult obstacles, but they were stronger than ever and she couldn't wait to spend the rest of their lives together.

 _Okay, focus now_.

Santana spent the next twenty minutes coming up with possible scenarios for their final scene. She'd have to discuss them with Brittany later.

"Miss Lopez?"

Santana looked up and smiled. "Chloe. What can I do for you?"

Chloe opened her mouth, then closed it, looking nervous.

"Have a seat?" Santana offered.

Chloe did and looked down at her hands, fidgeting.

"Chloe, you can talk to me," Santana said softly. "I won't say anything to anybody if you ask me not to."

Chloe took a deep breath. "If I told you my deepest secret, would you judge me?"

"Definitely not," Santana replied immediately. "It's not my place to judge people. I'll hear what you have to say and I'll tell you what I think, but any decision you make is yours alone."

Chloe nodded and Santana waited patiently as she built up her courage. This was big. This was the first time Santana had ever been approached by a student like this. How she handled things could make or break this girl. She had to be really careful about what she said.

"Miss Lopez, could I ask you a personal question?" Chloe said quietly.

Santana frowned. She was pretty sure that this was crossing some kind of line, but she was so worried that shutting Chloe down that she took the risk.

"Sure."

"Are you… Do you… Are you gay?"

She said the last word so quietly that Santana wasn't sure if she'd heard it. She swallowed. The lyrics of the song she'd heard Chloe sing earlier played over in her head.

"I am," she replied.

Chloe's eyes went, evidently surprised that Santana actually answered her.

"You are?"

Santana smiled and nodded. "I don't mind talking to you, Chloe, but I hope that what we say will remain between us. While I don’t mind people knowing that ‘m gay, it’s not something I care to advertise."

Chloe nodded fervently. "I would never say anything. You're my favourite teacher," she admitted quietly. "I…I saw you and Miss Pierce earlier today when she dropped off your daughter."

Santana nodded slowly. This was taking a huge risk. But Chloe obviously trusted her to such a degree that she was ready to divulge her deepest, darkest secret.

"Chloe, what's this about?" she pressed as gently as she could without sounding demanding.

She immediately retreated into herself again and Santana forced herself to be patient. She remembered how confused she had been when she was trying to figure out how she felt about Brittany and what they were doing. She'd had Miss Holliday to talk to, but that only been at Brittany's insistence. If she could be that someone for one of her students, then she would be as patient as she needed to be.

"Miss Lopez, I think I might be gay," Chloe eventually whispered.

"Okay, why do you say might be, Chloe?"

"Well, I'm definitely not attracted to guys. Like I don't even look at them in any romantic sense. But girls…I could stare at girls forever. They're beautiful. And…I met…someone over Christmas break. My family went to Paris and she was the daughter of my parents' friends. I don't know how it happened, but we just…clicked."

Santana smiled and let her eyes briefly wander to Brittany. "I know exactly how that feels. You can't seem to control what you think. You want to be around her all the time. Just thinking about her puts the stupidest smile on your face and you've never felt more like yourself when you're with her."

"Wow," Chloe said softly. "That's exactly how I feel."

Santana smiled. "Well, I was exactly like you once, Chloe. I tried to deny it, though. I was determined not to be gay because I thought that it would ruin my reputation. Back then, that was all that mattered to me. But losing the love of my life made me realise that it wasn't about what everyone else thought. It was about _me_ and accepting who I was. Unfortunately, I was outed as opposed to coming out myself. But the whole experience made me realise how many true friends I actually had. And at the end of the day, people accepted it because I didn't let them push me around."

Chloe was quiet as she digested everything Santana had divulged. Santana let her eyes run over Chloe as she pondered. Had she been this confused? Had she looked this lost?

"Miss Lopez…" Chloe began.

Santana just waited, looking at her with a small smile.

"I'm afraid to tell my parents. They're very religious and they wouldn't accept this part of me."

Santana was quiet for a while. She knew her next words would be very important.

"Chloe, I know that I was lucky. My parents accepted me when I told them. But when I told my grandmother, she disowned me and we never reconciled. I'm not going to sugar coat this. I know it's daunting. But you'll never know until you try. And there are always options available to you should the worst happen."

"Like what?" Chloe mumbled.

"Well, do you have any family that you know will accept you?"

Chloe thought. "My sister might be okay with it, but she's in Boston with her boyfriend."

"Okay, anyone else?"

"Maybe my uncle. He's in Cleveland. But I don't want to move away from New York. I love this school and I don't want to give up my scholarship."

Santana paused, Was this the right time to bring up her suspicions?

"Um, Chloe, I need to ask you something," Santana ventured, figuring that she didn't really have anything to lose.

"Okay," Chloe said slowly.

"Are you doing okay in school?"

Chloe's eyes immediately went wide and she averted Santana's gaze.

"I've found something that I think we need to talk about," Santana continued. "But before I tell you, I just want you to know that if you're having any problems that I am here to help and any mistakes can be rectified."

Chloe didn't say anything, but Santana could tell by her demeanour that she was right.

"Miss Lopez, I don't know what I was thinking. Well, yes I do know that all I could think about was my parents finding out and how they'd react." She sniffed. "It terrifies me."

Santana moved forward in her chair. "So your grades were slipping. That's understandable. Your focus wasn't on your schoolwork. But Chloe, what on earth possessed you to cheat?"

Chloe started sobbing and Santana enfolded her in her arms, letting her cry.

"I d-d-d-d-don't kn-know why I did it! I don't kn-know why I th-thought there was no other way! I couldn't lose my scholarship. I c-c-can't."

Santana just rubbed Chloe's back soothingly and felt Brittany's eyes on her. She turned her head slightly and saw the concerned look from the stage. She closed her eyes and shook her head very slightly. Britt, of course, understood immediately and continued her session. Santana saw Bella standing on the edge of the stage, her eyes curious but also holding something that Santana thought might be jealousy. Bella? Jealous? Her little girl? Surely not. Not of Chloe? Not because Santana was comforting her?

Bella spun around and took her spot centre stage, focusing on Brittany and Santana sighed. She'd have to talk to her later, but she couldn't just leave Chloe hanging. She'd confided in her. She'd chosen Santana and no one else to talk to and about something so important, Santana couldn't ignore it, no matter how much Bella might not like it.

"Chloe, you know that this is serious," Santana eventually said, releasing the girl. "I'm on your side though. I'm going to recommend that you retake the exams you cheated on and do extra credit work for both me and Miss Remington to make up for it."

Chloe blinked and rubbed her eyes. "You-you're not going to suspend me? Or expel me?"

"Well, technically I can't do that, I can only recommend it. But I don't want to. I see a lot of myself in you, Chloe. You're scared, you feel like who you are is wrong, that all your emotions are somehow forbidden. But they're not. I want to be able to help you, but I can't do it by myself. You need to help me."

Chloe nodded. "I'll come in early and do both exams tomorrow," she said immediately. "And you can watch me like a hawk. I promise, I won't ever do it again. I'm _so_ sorry, Miss Lopez. I knew it was stupid, I _knew_."

"Hmmm, fear has a way of rationalising our stupid choices," Santana remarked. "I do have one other request from you, though."

Chloe raised her eyebrows.

"I want you to take part in the musical."

"No, please, Miss Lopez, don't make me do that. I'll stay after school every day and do extra credit, but please don't make me do that."

"This is going to form part of your extra credit," Santana said simply. "I think you have a need to express yourself and this is the perfect format for you to do it in. Besides the fact that you're ridiculously talented, I have the perfect part in mind for you." She paused. "Come in tomorrow morning and I'll give you a copy of the script. You can read it and let me know what you think. Okay?"

Chloe sighed. "I guess I don't really have a choice."

"Not really," Santana chuckled. "Don't forget that I'm taking a huge leap for you here. I'm not trying to guilt you into anything – I really _do_ think that you'd be amazing in this musical. I want you to do this for yourself."

"I don't know…"

"Think on what we've spoken about, okay?" Santana said. "If you have any questions whatsoever, you can come to me or to Miss Pierce and we'll help you as best we can."

Chloe's eyes widened. "But you said you wouldn't tell anyone!"

"Chloe, I trust Miss Pierce implicitly. And seeing as how you've figured out our secret, it's only fair that I let her know that you know. She also has a…different way of looking at the world. She might even be able to offer you better advice than I could."

"Really?"

Santana smiled. "She gives the best advice I know. She always makes me see when I'm being a stubborn idiot. She's not afraid to tell me when I'm being an ass. But then again, we have known each other since we were six, so…"

"Wow," Chloe said in awe. "I wish I could have what you two have."

Santana felt that this was going _way_ over that line that she'd probably already crossed.

"I'm going to talk to Miss Pierce tonight, okay? And you can come and see both of us tomorrow sometime. That sound good?"

Chloe nodded. "Thank you so much, Miss Lopez. I honestly can't say how relieved I am that I had the courage to come and talk to you."

"I am too," Santana replied with a smile. "An hour before the first bell tomorrow morning, okay? My classroom."

"I'll be there. Have a good night, Miss Lopez," Chloe said, standing up and shifting her bag. "And thanks. Really. I…I never thought that I'd be able to trust anyone with my secret, but I'm glad that you came to teach here."

"Me too. Have a good night, Chloe."

Santana watched Chloe walk out. When she disappeared through the double doors, she turned back to the stage and let out a huge breath. She wasn't sure what she'd set herself up for, but she hoped to hell that it wasn't going to come around and bite her in the ass.

**Author's Note:**

> Re-posted from ff.net. Originally published between 2012-2013.
> 
> As I'm posting the chapters (this is a complete story that was already fully posted), I'm doing a full edit and overhaul as younger me was not a very good editor of her work :)
> 
> This is largely due to my Glee rewatch the first week of isolation ;)


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